Temptations during a relationship

[snoho]

Is this ever an issue for any of you other partnered folk? Been in a happy relationship for over 2 years now. But sometimes the thrill of going on hook up sites like FabGuys is hard to resist. I generally just keep any type of conversation casual, and make it clear I'm not there to meet anyone. But I do enjoy the excitement of other men looking for my attention, and jerking off to the pics there. I dunno, it feels like a bit of a grey area. Maybe I just have a bigger sex drive.

 

[TX-Beau]

I've never been a fan of relationship rules that penalize people for behaving naturally. Monogamy doesn't blind you to other hot guys. You'd have to talk it over with your partner to see how he feels, but if you just let it lie there on the mat - sooner or later it's going to become a thing, and then you'll have to fight about it.

I personally don't care if my guy is whacking it to some hot guys on the net - I don't love him because I've got his penis locked up, I don't love him because he never has a sexual thought I don't control, he's a horny mofo anyway and trying to be the boss of that would not only be pointless, it would be extremely tedious as well.

That said, the only person who's opinion on this is relevant is the one you're with, maybe whack it together, or get him to blow you at the same time?

 

[snoho]

I've never been a fan of relationship rules that penalize people for behaving naturally. Monogamy doesn't blind you to other hot guys. You'd have to talk it over with your partner to see how he feels, but if you just let it lie there on the mat - sooner or later it's going to become a thing, and then you'll have to fight about it.

I personally don't care if my guy is whacking it to some hot guys on the net - I don't love him because I've got his penis locked up, I don't love him because he never has a sexual thought I don't control, he's a horny mofo anyway and trying to be the boss of that would not only be pointless, it would be extremely tedious as well.

That said, the only person who's opinion on this is relevant is the one you're with, maybe whack it together, or get him to blow you at the same time?

Thanks mate. He's made hints that he knows I jerk off to other guys online. But I just wanted to vent it out to other like minded guys to see where their head was at regarding this area. I think my problem is that I don't have enough friends from our community to talk about this kind of stuff. Most other gay guys I've known have been guys I've been in a relationship with, or fucked.I really need to work on that. Though COVID certainly hasn't helped.

 

[DarkHelios]

It's not an issue for me because my partner and I have explicitly told each other that we're fine with it.

 

[KaraBulut]

Is this ever an issue for any of you other partnered folk? Been in a happy relationship for over 2 years now. But sometimes the thrill of going on hook up sites like FabGuys is hard to resist. I generally just keep any type of conversation casual, and make it clear I'm not there to meet anyone. But I do enjoy the excitement of other men looking for my attention, and jerking off to the pics there. I dunno, it feels like a bit of a grey area. Maybe I just have a bigger sex drive.

Does this bother you or does it bother your partner? Or both?

Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you give up your own sexuality. It's been said in other thread here that it's not "cheating" that blows up relationships as much as it is not being able to openly discuss things with your partner... or worse, concealing or lying about it.

 

[snoho]

Does this bother you or does it bother your partner? Or both?

Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you give up your own sexuality. It's been said in other thread here that it's not "cheating" that blows up relationships as much as it is not being able to openly discuss things with your partner... or worse, concealing or lying about it.

Thanks for the reply! I think I’m just overthinking things, and needing to find somewhere I can talk about it. It can be difficult for me talking about this stuff with people in straight relationships. So after seeing some of the content posted here, I was inspired to reach out to other guys to see where their head is regarding this stuff.

This doesn’t bother my partner, but it was playing on my mind a little bit.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well if it doesn't bother him, cam show!

 

[KaraBulut]

...This doesn’t bother my partner, but it was playing on my mind a little bit.

A lot of people go into relationships with a set of assumptions that have been imposed by tradition, by religion and by peer pressure.

Your relationship doesn't have to follow those assumptions. You and your partner can negotiate your own rules.

This means that if the both of you have an interest in porn or a particular interest/fetish that the partner doesn't enjoy or doesn't satisfy, there's no reason that you cannot enjoy those things on your own... as long as it doesn't become a substitute for a healthy sexual relationship with your partner and as long as there's open communication about it between you.

Thanks mate. He's made hints that he knows I jerk off to other guys online. But I just wanted to vent it out to other like minded guys to see where their head was at regarding this area. I think my problem is that I don't have enough friends from our community to talk about this kind of stuff...

Gay guys and straight guys are not that different. The only difference is that gay guys are often more realistic and open about sexuality inside and outside of the relationship. Because there isn't a lot of tradition, social pressure, convention and religious assumptions in same-sex relationships, you can make your own rules.

There's a wide gamut of where this goes. It can be simple as jerking off to porn. It can be an arrangement that includes an open relationship. It can be anything in between. You're welcome to ask here to hear about the experiences of other gay or bisexual men. But keep in mind that the person you need to discuss this with is your partner. If the two of you discuss it and you're okay with his "extra-curricular" interests and he's okay with yours, then you shouldn't have any guilt or over-thinking of it.