The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Terms of endearment I can use without emasculating myself?

T

terps420

On the Prowl
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Posts
104
Reaction score
0
Points
0
So I'm a guy's guy. I also have slight intimacy issues, so PDA and verbalizing those "couple-y" type gestures are only done behind closed doors and after cocktails... at least from my end. ANYWAYS; the guy I'm seeing is big on the "sweet talk". He calls me "baby" like the way my big mama would (If I were black or southern, I'm sure you know what I mean) if I had one lol. I never use any nicknames or terms of endearment with him (or anyone) in person, only through texts, and they're always used only as indications that I'm hot for him and only in ironic ways. For example, the two I use most often are "Hey there handsome. Where you been all my life?" to ask where he is/what hes doing and "'ello love" because I think its a pretentious phrase so I use it as a joke.

He called me out on it so I told him I'd think of something. I just can't think of anything that I would be comfortable using with someone I wasn't REALLY serious with; I feel it's a little emasculating to use "honey", "sweetheart" etc. Especially since we're not that serious, despite the notion that giving each other nicknames means thats where we're headed. "Babe/baby" is a little too intimate for me, and I don't want to use any ex's nicknames- so no"babycakes" or "sweetcheeks". Any suggestions?
 
Any problems with "Dear"? In my experience, it's a pretty gender-neutral word, and I've used it to express both affection and intimacy without many problems.
 
^ I would be offended if my boyfriend called me buddy.. It just seems so impersonal.

I sometimes use "stud" or "sexy man"... Compliments usually get the message across if you don't like pet names. Tell him what turns you on about him.
 
fbhwes said:
How about just calling him your "Buddy"
Click to expand...

I hate buddy. To me it's ususally condescending and it's certainly not endearing.

I call my bf "stache" because he has a mustache. If I want to be cutesy about it, I'll call him "stachey". I've also called him "fuzzy" because he's hairy.

I used to call my ex "furry".
 
You can't come up with some sort of pun using his name? Or maybe a favorite character of his
 
so, youre calling him 'handsome' ironically? ouch.

anyway, by using expressions like sweetheart, youre not emasculating yourself, youre emasculating him. (which i find very sexy, but thats just me)

besides, if youre such a 'guys guy', some 'girly talk' isnt going to dent your incredible manliness.

all of which is just a roundabout way of saying: i think you should just get over your hangup.



on a less bitchy and more practical note: i used to call my bf 'tiger'
 
I had to work on getting over my hang ups. Sweetheart especially made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and that was with my partner. I know what you mean, but why let the heterosexists win?

Create a nickname. You could translate his first name into another language, Charles becoming Carlos, for example. Here are a few terms I can think of: boner boy, sexy, sweetcheecks, smiley, bull, hotie, hot stuff, mister _______(any appropriate noun or adjective, such as, manly, strokes, hungry, s'more, etc. The possibilities are endless. Just have fun. We're gay. We can make our own rules.
 
We make up anagrams that mean something and sound nice, or initials. I use HB (means honey bunny).
 
My boyfriend and I used food for a while. "Peanut butter", "snow pea", "crispy chicken", "porkchop", "potato", "tomato", etc etc etc. Nothing male or female about food. Now we've expanded to animals.

At the moment, he calls me "Cupid" because my lips make a bow, like "cupid's bow". I call him "Chipmunk", because he stores food in his cheeks while he chews something else. Cupid is a male, and chipmunks could be male or females. Nothing emasculating about it.
 
I think any man who self-censors over terms of endearment is already emasculating himself! Call your boyfriend whatever you WANT to call him!

Mine is "Honey", and since he calls me that too we have been signing notes and emails "TOH" for 19 years now! (TOH = The Other Honey).
 
FYI in the Southern tradition, "honey, sugar, sweetheart," aren't intimate. They're general terms you're as likely to use with a stranger, as you are with a friend.

They're used all the time, in a lot of situations, usually towards women I'll grant you, but there's nothing emasculating about them. Or they're used for emphasis, such as;

"...Sugar, you have one strange hangup here,..."

What do I call guys I date? Usually some kind of nickname that has to do with personality or common experience, for example, my current guy I generally call Hoss, because the first time I put him on a horse, he got tossed on his ass - and so naturally, he got an archetypal cowboy diminutive.

I might have called him Little Joe, except he's not ...ahem... little. (grin)
 
What's wrong with "baby?" I work in a very working class milieu where I am not out as bi. Quite often, straight, African-American male associates would call me baby, either in greeting me or in casual banter. It was very casual and friendly, and not at all emasculating or sexual. Of course, this might only work if your bf is African-American.
 
I think names like "babe" and "baby" can be a bit feminine. Also for some reason they have always just made me uncomfortable. Like any pet name like that. I'm not a big fan in general.

But for your predicament, I would go with some like "handsome" or "stud". Something my aunt used to call my uncle was "pooky" i always just found that one amusing.
 
x-cess said:
so, youre calling him 'handsome' ironically? ouch.

anyway, by using expressions like sweetheart, youre not emasculating yourself, youre emasculating him. (which i find very sexy, but thats just me)

besides, if youre such a 'guys guy', some 'girly talk' isnt going to dent your incredible manliness.

all of which is just a roundabout way of saying: i think you should just get over your hangup.



on a less bitchy and more practical note: i used to call my bf 'tiger'
Click to expand...

TIGER! I never thought of tiger! Thanks, it's perfect.

And no, that's not what I meant. I don't call him "handsome" ironically in the literal-verbal sense, I mean it in the stylistic sense; to convey wit.

It's not that I think it's "girly talk". It is but that's not what the real issue is. It's that verbalizing my affection with the assigning of a run-of-the-mill sappy nickname to a guy I'm not in love with makes me feel uncomfortable. It's cheesy and makes me feel phony, like I'm faking intimacy. Either way, it's just a nickname. He asked for one and now he's getting it.
 
I agree my suggestion of Buddy would be impersonal i must have misunderstood i thought that was what OP was looking for . I personally would have no problem with something like babe or handsome or even stud . I don't like sweetie because i know someone who calls everyone that and it sounds so disengenuine when they do it. And for me at least i'd hate Tiger because it's what my step dad used to call me and i hated that S.O.B. But you have to find what works between you and that's what you go with.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top