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[Runner1]

A little background: I met this guy at work: tall, dark, handsome.. you know the drill. He's incredibly charismatic and funny, and pretty much an all-around nice guy. I always had this feeling that he might be gay, but the subject was never brought up so I went on believing he was straight.

Anyway, after a long time of talking with him, he recently told me that he's in love with another guy. He says that this man he's in love with is unwilling to be with him because he's afraid of what society thinks.. etc.

I told him that if this guy wasn't willing to act on his feelings and disregard societal pressures or whatever that he was wasting his time.. and that the guy is acting like a coward and a fool. (please dont be offended..that's just how i feel about throwing away love.)

BUT. my guy that i met at work says that he's not gay... Yet, he loves to have sex with this guy and fantasize about him. I've told him that classifying himself as gay or straight doesn't really matter, and that he should go with whatever he feels to be right, but he's just really confusing.

He has sex with girls too, and through text messages he's been comming onto me hinting that he wants me to give him a blow job...

I'm not sure what I'm asking of you guys or how to advise me.. but I just needed someone-- anyone to listen. Any advice on personal experiences or what you think is going on with this guy whether hes gay or straight or what i should do as far as the blow job and shit goes would be much appreciated. THANKS!!!

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Runner,

Well mate... it depends a lot on what you want...

I get the feeling from your post that this guy isnt in a place to offer you anything in return...especially a real commitment if thats what you hope it might lead too... Hes got a lot going on in his head by the sounds of it and the last thing hes doing is being honest with himself...so it seems like theres a real potential here for you to be hurt.

He's fantasizing about guys, sleeping with girls...texting you. You;re right - labels and boxes mean nothing. But honesty means everything - especially to yourself. At the moment hes unable to do that so I fear that he wont be able to offer you that either.

If you want a little harmless fun Runner, maybe this guy is it. But dont let your heart get involved because it just doesnt seem hes ready to offer you the love and affection that you deserve. Until he deals with who he is, he'll cause you heartache.

 

[luminum]

Well, it seems like you want love. It seems like he wants a blowjob. You can give him what he wants, but can he give you what you want? And if he can't give you what you want, would you still be willing to give him what he wants?

 

[RicanDAB]

We cannot forget the fact that you WORK with this guy .. which is a major red flag, a no-no and a sign to RUN ... you don't wanna mess with someone at work, especially with someone as fucked in the head as this!

 

[luminum]

ooo....that is true...

Office romances are a no-no.

 

[slobone]

^^^ I agree. Not worth it for a blow job. Now maybe if HE was doing the blowing...

 

[Runner1]

Thank you guys so much that was incredibly helpful!

 

[SilverRRCloud]

If he had texted and hinted that he found you hottt and wanted to mess around with you a bit, I'd possibly agree to think twice about it. (Him being a hot dude and all.) I'd be also very respectful of his honesty and of the fact that he was hinting at a 'say, a bit of fun together' without mentioning any love, emotions and bonding. He is a dude and you are a dude. So, what's the harm in busting your nuts together and having some little fun in the process?

The BIG RED FLAG for me here is that he is hinting at you giving him a BJ. (I mean, you are a gay guy, so whoever needs a BJ can come knocking on your door by texting you? Is that it???) In other words, there is a BJ for him in it? What's in it for you? This is like ordering a service or something. Maybe, he got it all wrong? You are not an escort guy, who is there to fulfill the wishes of his clients against an indemnity. You are a dude just like any other dude and you are going to have your fun on your terms, too.

If you feel comfortable with going on and granting him his wish, because you feel like giving him the BJ, no one can stop you here. And you may even love it?

But you would be making a serious mistake anyway. You'll be reinforcing his belief that he can get away with anything just because he is cute and charismatic and everyone out there is out to please him at whatever the cost may be. He is harboring a very bad attitude and that's what my BIG RED FLAG is all about.

SC

 

[Runner1]

wow... i never though about it that way, SC.

i gotta be honest.. i really would like to give him the bj... but like a lot of you said, it would be for the wrong reasons... because i would want to get loser to him and all he wants is a mouth.

idk...i havent made up my mind yet.. but ill keep you guys posted..

thanks again, you guys are amazing.

 

[spreadeagle]

Are these texts arriving during working hours? This would constitute sexual harassment - a dismissable offence.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Are these texts arriving during working hours? This would constitute sexual harassment - a dismissable offence.

Dude, he is possibly about to suck on this guy's cock and not sue him for sexual harassment... gee?

SC

 

[spreadeagle]

... and thus put himself in a vulnerable position where he could find himself dismissed for sexual harassment.

 

[trawler69]

I think I would say "Make it a 69 and I may consider it." And then leave it at that.