tfw you can't masturbate in peace in your own fucking house

[Charon]

Here I am, spanking the monkey to pics of a certain cute femme twink that I stalk on Facebook, and all of a sudden one of my folks shows up. Or I'm jerking-off to a porno on my phone, and all of sudden I get a phone call from my gramps saying that he needs an errand. Anyone else encounter a problem similar to this while growing up? Or now?

 

[Willie Boy]

Someone tries to show up on my doorstep without an invitation or calling ahead, they're met with an armed response before they even get within sight of my home. But that has nothing to do with privacy to masturbate. I have a partner, I don't get to masturbate as he insists on taking my seed, always. As for someone calling when my partner and I are at it..... That's what voicemail is for. Back in the beginning, when phones required a wired connection and were therefor left at home, an invention called an answering machine was invented to record messages and allow the recipient to listen to them at his/her convenience..... From that voicemail was invented, where the phone service recorded messages into a private account and the owner of the account could call in and listen to messages. This was carried over to cell phones...... Somewhere voicemail has been forgotten and we're expected to pick up the phone immediately when it rings, no matter what.

I don't know about you fools, but I've got more important things going on in my life than to sit by my phone waiting for just anybody to call and demand a share of my valuable time. To expect that of me is majorly rude. And yet people still call. I've taken to putting my phone on vibrate and slip it between my partner's body and my own while we're busy. We don't need it but that surprise vibration can really take our relationship to the next level.......

I never tried to suggest we aren't a kinky pair.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

I just jack off in my boyfriends bed, he seems to be okay with it.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Charon, long ago, before the internet, there was a "meme" going around about phone calls disturbing us. The verbal line went something like, "sometimes, the phone rings right when I get in the bath. I sit verrrrrry still, and it stops ringing."

If someone is calling you when you do not want to be disturbed, simply reject the call.

If someone is paying you a visit when you're not dressed, then you aren't available. You have no explaining to do. You could have been in the bathroom, asleep, on an important call, etc.

If you live with your family, and they know you are home and in your room, then you're pretty much out of luck as far as hiding out, so that's just a price you pay for sharing housing with family.

 

[xyxyxy]

Living in a apartment with loud ass neighbors who are always bitching at there kids really kills the mood.

 

[NotHardUp1]

You could always beat on the wall and holler "If you CUNTS would shut up over there with the constant BITCHING at your spawn, I'm TRYING to jerk off over here to some questionably underaged looking models!!!"

That should do it.

 

[tarallucci]

It's happened a couple times but wasn't a big deal. I must have been 13 when my father caught me humping the mattress. He touched on my back and asked "what are you doing?", then I started crying out loud pretending he had hurt me...

"Get over it... I barely touched you!"

 

[LeicsDom]

Someone tries to show up on my doorstep without an invitation or calling ahead,

I never answer my door unless I am expecting someone

 

[Willie Boy]

I never answer my door unless I am expecting someone

I never let anyone near my door unless I am expecting them. Showing up a few hundred meters from the house (but still inside the property line) with a shotgun and trees between us and the house and a none-to-friendly expression on my face tends to separate those who have a valid reason for visiting and the riff-raff (salespeople, religious freaks, would-be robbers).

 

[peeonme]

I had people ask if I was "okay in there" when I lost track of time in the bathroom as a boy. Now it's either late at night or early in the morning, so the phone never rings.

 

[Rickrock]

I used to get phone calls when I was in the bathroom. I usually let it go to voice-mail. Then I started to carry the portable phone into the bathroom. Now we get so many crank calls asking for money, or our business, and now also scam calls that we have stopped answering the phone unless we recognize the number or they start to leave a message that we want to answer right away.

 

[nycguydowntown]

think this has happened to all of us----but I'm more obsessed with how people jerk off to porn on a tiny phone screen lol

 

[Willie Boy]

but I'm more obsessed with how people jerk off to porn on a tiny phone screen lol

with their tiny little penises??????

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

think this has happened to all of us----but I'm more obsessed with how people jerk off to porn on a tiny phone screen lol

One hand on the phone, one on your penis? I mean that’s about it.

 

[Vannie]

I was doing fine until I saw this thread!

 

[peeonme]

I was always told that I wasn't supposed to touch that dirty thing.