hi Mc7777,
Thanks for your nice and friendly reply and please excuse me for some delay in sending you this answer. I have read and re-read your posting, and I tend to conclude that you are a guy with a strong personality and also a guy who is very well capable to make his own decisions.
So you are indeed some sort of independent guy, who does not bother at all what other people think about him. So you know what you want, and what you don't want, and you keep on that track. Nothing wrong with that, and its a very good quality to be used in your current job. No need to tell more details, as I understand what you mean. Indeed, no need to provide the 'work-related contacts' with more details about your private life, but I tend to think that this is also the case for straight co-workers doing the same kind of work. The less your contacts know about you (and that's including kids and so on), the better. Am I right?
TX-Beau is is very capable to hit the nail right on the point, is very straightforward in his opinions, and his postings are as well very comprehensive. Besides that, TX-Beau also has a history of being born and raised in a reli-fundi christian family in the US. I have the strong opinion that both you and TX-Beau are guys with a strong personality, with very outspoken opionions and guys who don't bother what 'other people' think about them.
Yeah, and I think it is good to tell your straight friends that you will not pass the boundary. On the other hand, straight guys who are totally comfortable with their own sexual orientation will take it for granted that you also don't pass this border. You are living in a small community, so people will be aware about your behaviour. Bad news (eg of a straight guy with unwanted attention towards girls) will go around, and anyone will be aware of the reputation of that particular guy. And the same with you. You are a trusted guy, a good guy, and they will know you won't do unwanted things with them. Furthermore, your former experiences with opening youself to straight friends will enable you more and more how to cope with this situation. This is also the case with some of your straight friends who are handsome. Likely, they will be aware that they have a nice body, eg because they often get compliments from girls. And when you are relaxed about your own sexual orientation, and they are also relaxed about their sexual orientation, why not tell them, when it comes on the table, that they have a nice body? 'So alot of girls like that nice body of you, don't they'?
A lot of straight guys will take for granted that such boundaries exist, and have to be accepted. Just think about all those situations during work, when a straight male has to work close together with a handsome female co-worker. He will have to accept the same borders, and all serious guys will do that.
But, on the other hand, don't be too forced with contacts with your straight friends. You are that indepentent friend who knows what he wants (and without some sort of bad reputation), and being gay fits very well within this scheme. Just be aware that gay males come in all sizes and all shapes.
Based on what you told about this married friend of you, it seems likely that he is gay(?). Again you are right, don't push him to tell this to you, but offer your friendship to him. And be open to him, so he can also experience that guys like you are amongst the group of people who are gay. Don't bother too much with those homofobe family members, likely they won't change opinions, so wasted time to interact with them. However, what about building up a real good friendship with a closet case? Don't you think that this is somehow problematic? Not on the short while, but definately on the long run.
Anyway, I would like to wish you all the best.
Take care and feel free to react.
