That's So Gay

[J-23]

I think using "gay" as a put-down is unacceptable. And homosexuals who tolerate it are questionable.

 

[luminum]

I personally don't use "That's so retarded," because of the same reasons.

People try to throw that 'you're offending stupid people', but being stupid is meant to be insulting. Insulting people for what they can't help--being mentally retarded, gay, a racial minority--is wrong.

But if someone is being stupid, which means they're 'stupid' it's fair game--like being annoying or frustrating or insensitive or being a jackass. People don't have to be stupid, they just choose to be.

 

[Soilwork]

I don't let anyone use that word in as a synonym for "lame" in my presence.

Ever.

 

[J-23]

You didn't violate any rule. I think many people (myself included) just don't agree with your point of view. Why should we adopt such defeatist attitudes? "Oh, well. People are using 'gay' as a synonym for 'stupid' or 'lame.' I guess we'll just have to deal with it." Personally, I think that's unacceptable. While it may not be maliciously homophobic, it IS ignorant. And ignorance is something that requires correction.

 

[J-23]

Just like they thought homosexuality was a disease and in need of correction back then?

Sometimes our methods of making things "right" are no better than the people we're using them against.

That makes absolutely no sense. Am I suggesting that people who use the phrase "That's so gay" should be subjected to electroshock therapy? Obviously not.

I assume you also think that there should still be segregation? I mean, black people should have been happy enough to not be slaves anymore. Asking to attend the same schools and eat in the same restaurants as white people is just too much! Stop playing the victim, right?

 

[J-23]

When it comes to class issues like that, then no, we aren't victimizing ourselves. Those are mores, and far more pertent to life and a different subject.

What I'm talking about are folkways, generally accepted but not heavily enforced social norms. While I admit, my last post was a bit too extreme of an example to use, try not to take it ver batum (or however you spell that weird latin word) and instead look at the underlying factor. Do you want it so the word straight is suddenlly offensive when used in a certain way, and everytime we said "Wow that is so straight" be scolded for it? In other words, what is it you want? To be equal or simply turn the tables.

We just want people to realize that it's not harmless for "gay" to be used as an insult. You don't hear people throwing around racial slurs like they used to and that's because they've been told that it's wrong and unacceptable. Unless you take a stand and vocalize your disapproval of ignorance like that, people will continue to believe that it's okay.

 

[Soilwork]

there was one Fratman who used that once in my presence.

Sam, in fact.

I back handed him in two seconds flat in front of all the other Fratmen and told him NEVER to use that word in that context around me again.

He didn't.

 

[Soilwork]

Respect isn't something that the gay community is going to have handed to it on a silver platter.

If we stand there and let "gay" equate anything akin to "Weak", "Lame", "Undesirable", "Stupid", "feminine" or "or poor quality", we're taking part in our own repression wether we like it or not.

 

[luminum]

Turn the tables? What on earth are you talking about?

Using racial/ethnic/sexual orientation/gender-based terms as one's new synonym for distate is wrong for everybody! I don't accept using the term 'breeder' to describe straight people and I don't accept any derogatory terms for gays and I especially don't tolerate using the word 'gay' as an insult.

You think refusing to take ignorant abuse is setting one's self on a pedestal? I don't insult others with terms like that I expect that if other were treated this way they'd have every right to be up in arms.

You know what's the new thing in my generation? The real 'we the young'? It's Jew.

Yeah, it's absurd. But my generation seems to love running around saying 'Don't be such a Jew.' 'That's so Jew.' 'He's such a Jew.'

It doesn't 'mean' Jewish, so why should anyone be offended, right? They're just using Jew as a synonym for lame or whatever else they're too lazy to describe negatively. You want to say something sucks? Say it fucking sucks! Don't say it's gay or that it's Jew. You just sound stupid and you needlessly offend people.

The negative reaction isn't to blame for the power of the word, pal. The negative reaction comes because it's inappropriate to say, just like it's inappropriate to call someone a nigger, or a spic, or a cunt, or associte a descriptive term of a person or peoples with whatever synonym for disgust. It's rude and the intentions are clear and it makes it that much harder for a closeted gay kid in some backwater town to deal with his or her life.

This isn't politcal correctness, it's being correct.

 

[J-23]

I know this is going to make me sound like a insensitive jackass even more, but its because you're taking a stand and vocalizing your opinion thats making the word harmful.

The power of the word isn't from the people who say it, it's from how people react to it. Kinda like little kids making fun of each other, once the little kid being made fun of realizes if he doesn't care what they say then their words don't hurt him anymore.

I completely disagree. Ignoring the problem will only perpetuate it. You're not taking away the power of the word... You're actually reinforcing the power of the word because you're telling the person that they can get away with making ignorant, hateful statements and no one will say anything about it.

 

[Soilwork]

mazochyzt, sorry.. i know you're really young and haven't really lived enough to totally get it yet.

but the gay community is only going to be treated with respect when we stand up and demand it.

I think we all know that years of us hiding and not reacting when people say "That's so gay" or "Fucking faggot" hasn't made people stop.

but when I say "don't EVER let me hear you say that in my presence again" gets the reaction of a shocked, clueless straight person realizing they were wrong to say what they said, them saying "Sorry.. I didn't mean it like that" followed by me saying "I dont' care how you meant it, don't ever say it again", followed by them realizing that fucking with this gay man isn't a good idea.

And then I get the respect I deserve.

And that you deserve.

and in the future another gay person won't have to hear that.

 

[innocentbychoice]

I think it's not good in general. I think is even worst when gay guys use it. It shows some lack of self acceptance. The other day I was with a bunch of gay friends celebrating my bf's birthday and one of my friends (who is soooo close minded and boring) said to another: "Wow you look really gay today, the tight shirt, the hairdo..." and let me tell you, that other friend of mine didn't look "gay" (as if 'gay' is something you look like jeez what a stereotype), he looked trendy and fashionable like David Beckham, so I said "why gay?? He looks fashionable". And my friend replied "fashion is gay, so yeah he looks gay". Ugh. Hmmm thinking about it now, it makes me wanna slap him.

Another thing, I was with some other gay friends of mine outdoors at night, we we're sitting on the grass talking having fun it was so windy and I was making out with my bf, and E, who is very very effeminate says "OHH my Gosh what are you doing?? people are gonna see you!!" blah blah when he finally gets comfortable and starts doing the same, he's like "Oh there's people I graduated with, I hope they don't see me" he didn't want them to know his gay. And that would be understandable if he were low key and reserved, but he's such a queen he moves and there's feathers all over the room!! How ironic.

 

[innocentbychoice]

PS: We should al stand against people treating us badly. And saying "that's so gay" with a bad connotation is wrong.

 

[JSB_01]

One of my good friends uses that saying all the time. It's so annoying to hear. When I finally come out to her, I'll need to sit her down, slap her in the face, and say "Stop it!" Of course I could do that now, but i just don't have the guts to do it (but I'm working on it!)

I also have a gay friend who uses words like "faggot" and other terms that I deem derogatory. I especially hate the word "faggot" as it's known today. I can't help but think, "Why do you perpetuate the use of such a word?" Haven't talked to him in a long time, but the next time I hear him use it, I'll give him a piece of my mind.

 

[JaysHere]

My brother (about 80% straight) and I were shopping last evening. On a rack of "holiday" boxers were a pair that were green felt with "elfin" triangle trim, with a bell at the end of each triangle. My response to seeing them? "That's so gay!!"