The Affects Of Wanting Kids In Choosing Man Or Woman

[RRRalph]

You want to have biological kids:
- How does this affects your choice to be with a man or woman?
- Would you choose a woman over a man cuz of this?

You don’t want to have biological kids:
- How does this affects your choice to be with a man or woman?
- Would you feel more free in your choice?

 

[lyconthrope]

absolutely, always a thought provoking debate when your around

 

[RRRalph]

Great topic Ralph, as usual.

Always a thought provoking debate when your around.

Thanx lovely girls

 

[Piquechampion]

I want biological kids, but I do not see myself fulfilled in a relationship with a woman (even thou I am more drawn to them sexually). But there are other ways to have biological kids, like a surrogate mother (not in my case, it would feel like I´m purchasing a commodity) or with a close female friend (which is what I would like to do). However I do realise the downsides of that.

So who knows, maybe I´ll fall in love with a girl, but she may be sterile or I may be sterile. If kids don´t come then it´s fine, if they do, then it´s great. The most important thing is to be in a relationship who fulfills you

 

[TheTrish]

Hi, RR! I don’t want kids now, that’s why I have a bowl of condoms by my bed! LOL

Eventully, tho, I’m going to want 2.3 kids and a white picket-fence. But I won’t settle for an asshole. There are other way, if the desire to have kids gets so strong.

So, for me, bisexuality and having kids are separate issues.

T

 

[Ninja108]

RIght now, my bf doesn't want kids and neither do I. It may change down the road but as my boyfriend, who is bi put it to me. "I want to have kids with the person I love, be it a woman or a man, and not what society says I should do"

 

[blackbeltninja]

I want biological kids, and I ideally want to have them and raise them with someone I love.

I'll expect some shit for this - although, maybe not so much in here as on the main board - but I've never been able to get to grips with the idea of loving a man. I have a sexual attraction to them only, at least with the ones I have met, and no emotional attraction beyond a desire to be good friends.

Women, on the other hand, I have loved (I think, anyway). Although I haven't had anything approaching a serious LTR with a woman, I have found many more women than men whom I feel an emotional attraction beyond friendship for.

-d-

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I never wanted kids. Neither my own nor other people's.

Little guys are all fun and great, but they are just not for me to care about and raise them. I simply do not see myself doing that.

My BF, who is a shrink, too, says that he and I share the same levels of selfishness and that this enhances our relationship.

I am not sure that I am getting it all, but he doesn't want the kids either.

I would have never married or lived with anyone for the sake of someone or something they could give me save for themselves.

SC

 

[PabloZed]

There are no real hindrances to having children, whether your own or adopted, whether you are gay or straight. At least not in many cities. There are even some circumstances where single parents are allowed to adopt and there are all sorts of surrogate opportunities for those who want "input."

The dumbest laws on the books today are those that bar gay or single persons from adopting.

 

[albar05]

Wow .. interesting..... :O)

Well , i have always seen myself having the perfect family , loving wife, great family home, 2 kids, and the " perfect" family life that sociaty says we should all strive towards......

I meet a women , and although i feel in love to an extent with her , i knew deep down in my heart that she was not the one for me, teh relationship continue very fast and we travelled from zimbabwe to Uk , and before i knew it i was in a serious relationship heading for marriage.... ( don;t get me wrong, in my mind , i thought it was the right thing i was doing, my family where happy , she was happy and i was confused...ha )

We got married and even though the relationship was never perfect , we where together for 7years and i have a beatuiful boy of 4 yrs...

I look back on my time and even through i know now , that my life would of been so different if i had spoken out and not been pushed into letting her come to the uk with me... (i did not ask her to come she assumed we would go 2gether and i let it happen ) .

We are divorced now, we finally decided our feelings where not deep enough and i have been in a ltr with a guy now for 11/2yrs, the feeling i have for him are totally different to what i had for my ex .

I finally feel , totally and utterly in love with another person ... a feeling i never though possible until now. and even though i took the long way round to getting where i needed to be, i would not really change anything...

I have an amazing son , who i love very much , and now i have an amazing b/f who means the world to me , it took a while and i took the scenic route but i finally feel that i am being the person i need to be ...

I quess alot of bi guys today , are not so pressured into conforming into what sociaty dictates, they are making their own choices and i think thats really great ....

However , i would not change my past becoz out of it came something so truly amazing.

:O)

 

[AresIncarnate]

I feel I'm the minority here. Honestly, I really don't want kids because I'll never have time to raise them, so it would be unfair to them.

So, it really doesn't affect my choice of men or women. If I married a woman who really wanted kids, I would consider having a few. But, if I were involved with a man, I would refuse to adopt/etc.

I mean, I wouldn't mind having kids, but realistically, I'm never going to be in a situation where it's practical.

 

[RRRalph]

It's really confusing cause in my situation where i have it 50/50, i can see my self with a man or woman but ideally since i want biological kids, i would have to choose a woman but i will feel guilty thats the only reason i am using the woman for as an incubation unit.

Be honest, your choice would be to choose a woman over a man, because you want biological kids. Right?

 

[RRRalph]

Can you also answer the question? Curious minds would like to relate or unrelate

Off course

You want to have biological kids:
- How does this affects your choice to be with a man or woman?
- Would you choose a woman over a man cuz of this?

I want to have biological kids and as you proably all know is that i always choose a woman over a man for ltr, because i don't have romantic feelings for men.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Off course

I want to have biological kids and as you proably all know is that i always choose a woman over a man for ltr, because i don't have romantic feelings for men.

That's what I meant in my badly-worded post above, really.

-d-

 

[Piquechampion]

^^^^^^^ I don´t want to rain on everyone´s parade but ya´ll may be sterile you know, or maybe she´s the one who´s sterile

 

[RRRalph]

I have always seen myself having the perfect family , loving wife and 2 kids.

I meet a women, but i knew deep down in my heart that she was not the one for me. We got married and even though the relationship was never perfect, we where together for 7 years and i have a beatuiful boy.

We are divorced now and i have been in a ltr with a guy now for 11/2 yrs, the feeling i have for him are totally different to what i had for my ex. I finally feel, totally and utterly in love with another person.

I have an amazing son , who i love very much , and now i have an amazing b/f who means the world to me. I would not change my past becoz out of it came something so truly amazing.

I'm very happy for you that everything worked out well in the end!

 

[lyconthrope]

I can not have children, I have known this for years and as much as it upsets me to have the option taken away from me, I know that there are other things, I plan to adopt instead.

I know that almost everyone wants a family but previous posters are right, you shouldnt "settle" with a woman for the sake of children if you know it will leave you unhappy, it might affect not only you but those around you.

There are a great many options besides "marrying a nice girl and settling down for kids" which could be explored, they can sometimes be expensive or difficult but ultimately leave you happier

 

[Piquechampion]

I can not have children, I have known this for years and as much as it upsets me to have the option taken away from me, I know that there are other things, I plan to adopt instead.

 

[lyconthrope]

thank you

 

[RRRalph]

I can not have children. It upsets me, but I know that there are other things, I plan to adopt instead.

That must be difficult to hear. I would be upset as well to know if i hear i was sterile. There are other ways indeed. Thanx for sharing Lyconthrope

You shouldnt "settle" with a woman for the sake of children if you know it will leave you unhappy.

That's very true. But i think that the will to have children has a big impact on the choice between a man or a woman.

Additional question
Who would you choose if you want to have kids and you know you can be perfectly happy with either a man or a woman?