The Affects Of Wanting Kids In Choosing Man Or Woman

[lyconthrope]

That must be difficult to hear. I would be upset as well to know if i hear i was sterile. There are other ways indeed. Thanx for sharing Lyconthrope

I am actually not sterile, It would just be extremely hazardous for my health and my chances of surviving would be low. And in all honesty, once I got over the "this is so not fair" crap I realised it didnt matter, all I ever wanted to do was adopt
thank you




That's very true. But i think that the will to have children has a big impact on the choice between a man or a woman.

Additional question
Who would you choose if you want to have kids and you know you can be perfectly happy with either a man or a woman?

hhmmm that question doesnt make a lot of sense to me, sorry, if you knew you could be happy with either sex then surely you don't have to make an active choice, wouldnt you simply settle down and be happy with the person you love?

 

[RRRalph]

Additional question
Who would you choose if you want to have kids and you know you can be perfectly happy with either a man or a woman?

This is a hypothetical question. Just to find out if there is a preference. It's because lyconthrope wrote about being with women for the sake of children when you know for sure you won't be happy.

You shouldnt "settle" with a woman for the sake of children if you know it will leave you unhappy.

 

[lyconthrope]

This is a hypothetical question. Just to find out if there is a preference. It's because lyconthrope wrote about being with women for the sake of children when you know for sure you won't be happy.

Although in fairness very few people know for sure if men or women will make them happiest, and using it as a basis for making life changes decisions is a bad idea.
I doesnt bother me at all if I end up a single mother or that my children are not going to be biologically mine, my decision to have children through adoption is because I would feel selfish having my own..... bringing another child into the world when so many are already here and suffering for the sake of having a child who looks like/shares my genes just makes me feel wrong. (before anyone starts yelling, I am not criticising anyone elses decisions/choices, just explaining my own)

and even if your main motivation for choosing to have a life with a woman is in order to have a child, doesnt mean you wont be happy, people change with their situations.

I think it is a difficult issue to tackle and no one can ever know exactly how they might feel in the future, if/when the situation presents itself

 

[RRRalph]

If your main motivation for choosing to have a life with a woman is in order to have a child, doesnt mean you wont be happy.

This is exactly how some bisexual (and maybe gay) guys thinks. Eventho the wish to have a child shouldn't matter for choosing a woman, it has a very deep and strong impact on someone's choice.

 

[pisces69]

To be honest I don't really care much for having children. So it really doesn't come into play. I'm just with whoever I fall in love with and might be a guy or a girl. It is pretty fluid actually. Sometime I'm happy with a girl and sometime a guy.

 

[RRRalph]

I'm just with whoever I fall in love with and might be a guy or a girl. It is pretty fluid actually. Sometime I'm happy with a girl and sometime a guy.

Why do you call yourself gay as it is stated under your avatar?

 

[beekman001]

You know I'd like to think that I don't take it into consideration and just sorta let my relationships develop as they will. But on the other hand I do know that I'd definitely end a relationship over the want / don't want kids issue so I probably do, even if it's not a conscious decision on my part.

 

[pisces69]

Why do you call yourself gay as it is stated under your avatar?

I went trough this phase where I identified solely as gay, but I suspect it was more of a reaction to a bad relationship I had with a girl whom I always thought and sometimes still do think of as the love of my life. However, the past couple of years I've been dating girls again. The girl and I were engaged for about two years when we broke up. After that I were gay for about 4/5 years. But now it doesn't really matter anymore, I date or sleep with whatever I fancy at the time.

 

[RRRalph]

I have already chosen my husband, but right now we are having a though time not being able to start a family right now. Sometimes, we both feel like all these little sacrifices we have made to be together are not worth it, like it would be a lot easier if we both got married to a woman.

Many will have the same feelings.

But then again when I realice how much I love him, all doubt disappears, and I realize how happy and fullfilled he makes me feel. Besides we are still young.

I'm glad you two are so very happy together. May i ask what you do to have a child?

- - -

Btw, the question still stands:
Who would you choose if you want to have kids and you know you can be perfectly happy with either a man or a woman?

 

[evilmonkey]

Well its easy for me. I go in for my vasectomy on May 4.

 

[RRRalph]

Well its easy for me. I go in for my vasectomy on May 4.

What the hell is vasectomy

 

[downright]

No one should have to decide. Love breeds children. If you love someone, you will find a way to have children. There are so many choices out there. Be true to yourself and don't bring children into an unhappy home. That is the best way I can put it.

I like this response most of all.

I am still confused over my sexuality - and have decided not to label myself in either gay or straight category, so thats why I say I am bisexual.

However, I do want kids of my own, and I also would like to adopt children as well, or become a foster parent to help children. However, I think (like elvin1) that the main ingredient that should be taken into consideration is that the child is brought into a loving family.

As for choices, don't think I can make one, I'll wait for love to help me make the decision. So apologies for the ramble if it doesn't make sense to anyone or answer the questions at hand!!

 

[RRRalph]

As for choices, don't think I can make one, I'll wait for love to help me make the decision.

I think this is the best way to act

 

[RRRalph]

Ralphie, it may become a little more complex if you actually allowed yourself to have romantic feelings for another man. I'm getting the impression that many of the bi guys out here have ruled out a romantic relationship with another guy from the very start. It's very possible for 2 men to fall for one another.

Westwoody, i can't speak for other bisexuals. I personally don't rule out romantic relationships with men. If i would fall hopelessly in love with a man, that would be awesome as well. So far it didn't even got near any male crush. I know that i am emotionally attracted to women and not to men.

This question of having children has come up between my boyfriend and me. We've discussed the possibility of one or both of us impregnating a compatible, hot female or finding a surrogate mother. On the other hand, we've considered the disadvantage of having kids. More specifically, we don't want the child to feel alienated from other children, because he has 2 daddies.

You think that two daddies wouldn't be good for a child, cuz you don't want the child to be alienated from other children. If you think that, why do you even let the possibilty open to have kids in the future? You wouldn't think of the child, but selfishly think of yourself. By the way, i think two daddies can be good for a child.

I have to wonder what other bi men like you would think if your children ever discovered that daddy secretly cruises for cock on the side? I just believe it's a very legitimate question or consideration for bi men like you. I favor a monogamous relationship, be it with another man or a woman. In the future, I just can't see myself as some "dirty", old married man cruising cock (or pussy) on the side.

What would i think if my child discovered that i cruises for cock on the side? For one, i'm always in favour for a monogamous relationship. I have never been with someone of a diffirent gender during my relationships. I won't and don't want to cruise for cocks on the side. I think you're question is a bit weird, cuz you preassume that i would fuck men when i'm with a woman. I don't.

 

[RRRalph]

Sorry, Ralph. I retract the question. I must've gotten you confused with some other bi guys on the board. Yes, I agree, considering that the question doesn't apply to you, it really is a weird question.

How good of you to see that you were wrong and that you admitt that. But i do wonder who you think i was

Ralph, thanks for starting such great and thought out threads. I think you are exactly what this forum needs and you are a bit of a role model to other gays and bisexuals. The time you spend here, your threads and opinions are greatly appreciated.

Thanx Elvin. I don't think i'm a role model and i don't want to be one. People should live their own life, make dicisions that are good for their own unique situation.

 

[looseliam]

I have gone through and removed some off-topic and/or flame posts, now that this thread resides in the 'On Topic

Discussion - No Flame Zone' portion of this site.

If you feel a post of yours has been removed in error, please contact myself, or another moderator.

 

[looseliam]

Hi DKNY! You're thoughts and comments are most welcomed.

Jump right on in!