The ASDA effect, do you ever feel it?

[trawler69]

The observations in this link were inspired by a visit to ASDA. If you have the time I would be interested if you ever have similar feelings or is it just me. I suspect it may be the latter. I Guess I am a shopaphobe!

http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/gamriebay/shopping.html

 

[dcmorgan]

When I enter ASDA I'm usually too busy avoid getting hit by trolleys and baby buggies and not to get too annoyed with the constant noise from kids at any age. Getting behind someone in line that suddenly realise - as they're about to pay - that they've forgotten one thing on the other side of the shop is always fun. Nevermind the ones that insist on paying with change... And I always end up listening to the life story of the checkout person. I'm really not a huge fan of shopping - and when I do it, I use the self-checkout. Unless someone's totally misunderstood the concept of "self-checkout" and call for assistance... God have mercy...

 

[trawler69]

Ah now the self checkouts could be the subject for a whole thesis. I don't enjoy being bellowed at by an electronic woman "APPROVAL NEEDED" "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA" and when you are trying to get her to swallow your crumpled tenner she is yelling "INSERT CASH OR SELECT PAY BY CARD" every few seconds, as you mutter "I'm f..king trying to you electronic bitch! I have been known to find a green jacket and ask them to "please swipe this woman for me".

 

[dcmorgan]

Oh, I hate them too. Though not as much as I hate having to make small-talk with miserable dingbats. I too find myself saying, "I f-ing DID put the goddamn item IN the bagging area, you c*nt!" and then you end up having a fight with the bitch cause she goes, "Please wait for assistance" and it takes about 20 minutes for someone to get their finger out. Sigh.

 

[trawler69]

Thing is I know some of the miserable dingbats and they hate the smalltalk too, they are told they have to do it and they have mystery shopper to check up on them. Some tills actually prompt them "Greet Customer?" and they have to hit a button to continue. "would you like help with your packing?" I've only bought a sandwich. "Your change and your receipt" Did you think I'd be confused if you didn't tell me that. It's like the signs that say "Caution no road markings", well thank god for that sign, without it I'd be all confused and have to pull over and call a therapist.

 

[dcmorgan]

I usually get the ones that want to serve me their life stories in the duration of three minutes. One tends to make a running commentary on all your items. "What you getting that for? What's that? Our brand is better? You shouldn't get that one. What do you need vaseline for?" And the classic: "Do you want help with your packing?" No, we're two people packing ten things. We'll survive. "Do you have a club card?" No. "Would you like to apply for one?" No. "Are you collecting school vouchers?" No. "Why not?" Because I don't have kids. Leave'em for someone else. "But I'm sure you know someone with kids?" Actually I don't. Thank God.

"Caution no road markings"? How about the a pack of peanuts that says "May contain nuts". Really?

 

[The_Aviator]

*Shivers* ASDA!

Erghhh! LOL!

LOL! Yeah! The classic one "Do you need help with your packing?"

Heres another one "Are you collecting sava stamps?" What?!?! "No I'm not! They're a pound each!"

 

[trawler69]

How about the a pack of peanuts that says "May contain nuts". Really?

The seeded baguette that says "may contain seeds" the bottle of lemonade that says "suitable for vegetarians" the bag of hot chicken that says "may contain hot food". It's a crazy world!

 

[The_Aviator]

The seeded baguette that says "may contain seeds" the bottle of lemonade that says "suitable for vegetarians" the bag of hot chicken that says "may contain hot food". It's a crazy world!

LOL! Whats the world coming to?

As Tesco once correctly put it though...every little helps.

 

[bedbugy]

whats asda

 

[dcmorgan]

A grocery shop in Britain. The UK's Wallmart.

 

[just_mills]

Get me in Asda, blud, and I'll MURK mans!!

I even swear at mates takig photos [why, i do not know]

I'll FK you up, if you get in my way, if Ive got a trolley, or some form of physical weaponary!! I WILL SHOUT AT YOU!

A couple mates are [jokingly] embarrased to walk with me, cos I cause chaos (e.g; see girl infront to the right a bit [inbetween Asda woman] wearing burgandy hoody & jeans,) !!

 

[trawler69]

I've had people gasp in horror and go "GOOD GOD" as I knock their trollies out of the way. I was in Tesco once and a family were dawdling in front of me blocking my way out I opened my coat like a bat and went Grrrrrr just as the mother turned round. I said "I'm quite mad you know" and they just melted to one side in a protective hug as I strolled by.

 

[dcmorgan]