I grew up in Wollongong, a steel making port city in Australia. I was a very shy and socially awkward boy. I went to Catholic schools and at about 15 or 16, I realised I was attracted to other guys. The term "gay" was actually rarely used. It was always faggot, poofta, pervert etc. In this place it was definitely not OK to be gay and I felt this way about myself. This only added to my shyness and anxiety around other people. I went to technical college and started working in the steel works as a trainee. I had few friends and usually avoided socialising. Whenever I did, I usually got drunk just so I could talk to people and often just got up and left without telling anyone that I was leaving. I kept my distance from people. I knew girls were attracted to me and I liked to talk with them because they were more often interested in the things I was interested in than guys were. I played piano and loved art (as I still do) but avoided sport. I did have two girl friends. We kissed but never had sex. I read a lot, especially books on Eastern religions, Yoga and meditation. I thought that somehow I could use those things to learn to control of my feelings.
In 1992 at twenty years old, I decided I wanted to travel in India. When I left from Sydney airport, I secretly hoped that I would never come back. Even if the plane crashed and I died, it would be better than coming back to my life. I flew into Bombay. Immediately I felt a kind of freedom I had not felt before. I worked my way northwards visiting the places of cultural and spiritual significance that I had read about. I visited the Buddhist cave temples at Ajanta and the massive rock cut Hindu temple at Ellora. Everywhere, people came to talk to me and ask where I was from. I don't know if it was because there weren't many tourists around at that time of year, because I was alone or because of my strange Australian Akubra hat, but it meant a lot to me that people seemed so happy to see me.
I wanted to visit the ruined city of Mandu. This was my first time travelling and so I had planned everything in a lot of detail before I left home. I had decided to stay for one night in the nearby city of Indore before going on to Mandu. I didn’t think there would be much to see in Indore that interested me, but I had a long day of bus travel from Ajanta and I wasn't sure that I could get a connecting bus to Mandu the same day. I arrived in Indore mid afternoon and found a nearby hotel where I checked in, had a shower and then went out to look around the town. Indore seemed to be a very busy commercial town. I wandered off to the bus station to find where the buses going to Mandu left from and to buy a ticket for the following morning. I then went looking for the museum. A guy called out to me:
"Where are you going?"
"To the museum"
By then I was actually already at the museum but noticed it was closed. He said:
"Sorry, it is closed"
"I know"
"Can I show you our burnt palace?"
"OK"
There was a palace in Indore called the "Rajwada" but it had burnt down only a few years before. We walked together towards the palace.
"What is your good name?"
"I am Mark. What about you?
He told me his name was Krishna. His family was from Indore but he had only recently returned from Delhi where he was a student. He said he was planning to return in a few weeks. He told me some complicated story of how one of the teachers had been fired, all the other teachers had gone out on strike in protest and so the term had finished early. The teacher had wanted to be a political candidate and his opponent had used his influence to corruptly get him fired.
When we got near to the burnt palace, he took me by the hand to cross the road. I had seen boys and men holding hands in India and although I stared the first few times, I came to realise that it is normal in their culture for male friends of any age to hold hands. But it was electric to me. When we passed through the remains of the grand palace gate, there was nothing much left inside. It was just grassy parkland where the palace had been. We talked a lot about where I had been travelling, what I did at home and about his family and life. I was really getting to like this guy. The way he looked at me, his open smile, his sleepy looking eyes and when he held my hand a few times as we walked through the "palace" I felt so warm and happy that I almost cried. I also felt myself getting a bit hard sometimes.
It was getting dark by then and I told him that I was going to Mandu in the morning. He said he had been to Mandu a few times and that it was a beautiful place. He would meet me in the morning to show me the right bus (always confusing in India) and left me to go back to his home. I was thinking seriously about delaying going to Mandu so I could spend more time with him. He told me about a lot of other places in Indore that I could visit that now I would miss. He obviously wanted me to stay.
The next morning, I had a call in my hotel room that someone was waiting in the lobby to meet me. I was already dressed so I came straight down to find Krishna smiling at me and carrying a backpack.
"I want to come with you to Mandu".
"OK"
We went back to my room and he sat on the bed as I finished packing my bag.
"Why are you carrying around so many books?"
"I don't know, I just like to read."
"That's nice."
I showed him some of the things I had bought along the way, mainly books, postcards a few small statues and some crystals that I bought from a small boy in Ajanta. I saw that he noticed a box (unopened) of condoms that I had optimistically packed. He gave me a strange curious look as I shyly put some clothes on top of them but he didn't say anything. Other than then, he was always smiling at me and I could hardly take my eyes off him.
When I was all packed, we went downstairs and I checked out. We walked the short distance to the bus station where he bought his ticket. We found the right bus, put our bags inside and reserved our seats with the conductor. We then got off and drank some milky Indian tea and talked some more while waiting for the time that the bus was meant to leave. Before long a huge crowd of people appeared and all packed onto our bus. I was very worried that we would not be able to get back on. He said, "Don’t worry". Not long after, we went back over to the bus and Krishna spoke to the conductor. The conductor got onto the bus and told the people sitting in our seats to get out. Then he called Krishna and I into the bus and showed us to our seats very respectfully. This is the second time something like this happened when I was with Krishna and I will say something more about it later.
The bus ride to Mandu only took about two hours but it was hot and dusty and there were a lot of people in the bus. Krishna pointed out a few interesting things that we passed on the way out of Indore but soon stopped talking. After a while, he rested his head on my shoulder and dozed. This kind of very simple physical intimacy with another guy was something I had never experienced before and I was very moved by it. I took the risk and held his hand. He didn't let go.
When we arrived in Mandu we had to get a bicycle rickshaw to take us to the hotel that I had already booked ahead. Mandu seemed to be completely deserted in contrast to the very busy Indore. Luckily, it wasn't the time of year when large numbers of tourists come there. A few small children called out a greeting "Namaste" as we passed. The hotel was made up of a number of separate buildings or bungalows distributed around a garden. I found the reception and told the manager that although I had only booked for one, my friend is going to stay with me now. I didn't really understand the problem but the manager wasn't happy, said that there was no room available and I would have to upgrade to the "luxury" room. I was ready to agree when Krishna stepped forward and said something (in his language) to the manager. There was something very mysterious about Krishna. Back in Indore, we had been trying to cross a very busy road. There was a traffic policeman directing the traffic. After trying for a while, Krishna yelled something to the traffic cop. He turned around and looked at me and then at Krishna and I saw a look in his eyes of recognition and then what I can only describe as fear. He actually saluted Krishna and then stopped the traffic to let us cross. It was the same with the bus conductor and now the same with the hotel manager. Whatever he said changed the manager's attitude completely and he booked is into a very nice bungalow in the garden without another word and no extra cost.
The room had two single beds close together but Krishna immediately just pushed them together without a thought. We each had a wash and changed our clothes because we were very sweaty and dusty after the bus ride. The room didn't actually have a shower, just a bathroom with a tap and a bucket with scoop and just cold water but this was typical for domestic tourist hotels in India and I was used to it. We had some early lunch in the hotel dining room and then we then went out to explore Mandu.
Mandu is a ruined fortress city on top of a high rocky plateau overlooking the sacred Narmada River and the agricultural plains below. There are ruined palaces, tombs and mosques amid overgrown gardens and ponds. It has unusual architecture with very strong sloping walls, robust domes and delicate cupolas and pavilions. Mandu has the first fully marble domed building in India and is believed to be a partial inspiration to the Taj Mahal. Although a strategic military site in Indian History, it was also a pleasure resort for various Indian rulers before falling into ruin.
While Krishna and I walked around, often hand in hand from place to place, I read to him from one of my guide books and he told me about the folk legends associated with the places as well as when he came here as a boy. This was when we were at the famous "ship" palace, the Jahaz Mahal. A long building with cupolas on the top at each end and surrounded by ponds. A few boys came up to us shyly and Krishna joked with them. It was then that a gust of wind came and blew my hat off and it flew right down and landed in the pond. The boys all ran screaming after my hat and waded out into the pond to get it back for me.
Krishna had thick black curly hair. Actually he could have done with a haircut. He was slightly taller than me but slimmer. His skin was a nice light brown with black hairs on his forearms and I could see black curly hair on his chest. He had a beautiful smile, dark brown sleepy eyes and was very good looking. He was twenty-two, two years older than me. As we were walking around Mandu, he would sometimes start to sing a song, the same song every time. He said it was a Hindi movie song. He often looked into my eyes and sang the last words of the song with a funny serious look on his face that made me laugh (and feel sick with desire). I couldn’t understand what he was singing but I recognised the word "dhil" a few times which I knew meant "heart". Normally, if someone looked at me in my eyes and just kept looking, I would feel uncomfortable and look away. When I was talking to him, Krishna had this habit of just looking curiously at my eyes and different parts of my face with this funny beautiful smile that he had. Often I sensed that he was looking at my mouth and lips. I was feeling such attraction to him but not thinking that he could possibly be feeling that same about me. Sometimes when I was speaking or reading to him, I caught him looking at me like this and I just had to stop and ask "what ?". He laughed and said, "Nothing, keep going."
I have green eyes and light brown hair that seems to change colour depending on the light. It also fades in the sun and although I was often wearing a hat in India, my hair was nearly blond. I have a quite broad shoulders and a broad finely hairy chest which together with my rounded face and bubble butt give the impression that I am a little chubby but actually I was quite slim and muscular at that time.
Later we walked to a building called "Roopmati's Pavilion". From here there was an amazing view of the country far below. Roopmatis' Pavilion is a small fort with small domed structures on each end. It was from here that Roopmati waited for her lover and here Krishna and I sat alone looking out at the view. Krishna told me the story of Roopmati. She was a very beautiful singer and Mandu is famous for the love story of Roopmati with Baz Bahadur, the ruler of Mandu at that time. There are many poems and legends of their love. Eventually, a general of the Moghul emperor of India Adham Khan also fell in love with Roopmati and because of his jealousy attacked Mandu. Baz Bahadur refused to surrender even though he had no chance of winning because he did not want to lose Roopmati. He was defeated and killed and when Roopmati knew, she killed herself. It was in this small pavilion that we were actually sitting that Roopmati saw Baz Bahadur killed below and where she took poison.
The sun was beginning to set and the evening smoke could be seen rising from the villages far below.
"Markji, do you have a girl friend?"
"No. .. Do you?"
"No but I had before."
"She was your lover?"
"No, she was just my good friend.... Markji, did you have a lover before?"
"No"
....
"Do you want to have some pleasure with me?"
"OK"
WHAT?!! What had he just asked me? What had I said? What did it mean? What else could it mean?
Krishna smiled at me and said, "Let’s go". I stood up to take a last look at the valley below. Krishna stood behind me, put his arms around me and kissed me on the side of the neck. I could have melted. We started walking back to the hotel. Large bats were flying overhead and it got dark quickly. Whenever there were street lights, millions of insects swarmed around them. Krishna didn't say much as we walked. He seemed nervous and I was confused. Back at the hotel, we decided to get something to eat. After waiting impatiently for ages in the hotel dining room, we had simple dinner of vegetarian cutlets, potato fries and salad. Krishna ordered a couple of bottles of beer which we took back to our bungalow.
We opened a bottle each and sat on the bed drinking it. There was a TV in the room but we couldn't get it to work. His attitude to me had changed somehow. He smiled less but still looked at me all the time. After finishing his bottle, he said he needed to wash and he disappeared into the bathroom. I was feeling almost sick with desire for him but too nervous to make the first move. When he came out of the bathroom, he was just wearing a towel and I could not take my eyes off his body, his black chest hair, broad shoulders and muscled arms. Most of all, the distinct bulge of his cock. He seemed back to his old self and showed me his beautiful smile, struck a body builder pose and said "you like?". I said "yeah" before I could stop myself. "You need to wash?" he asked. I grabbed some clean boxer shorts and went into the bathroom.
When I came out, I went for my bag to get a clean T-shirt. "No, let me see you." he said. I stood there in front of him and he looked at my body. He said, "You look nice". I was looking pretty good with all the exercise since coming to India. He had rearranged the sheets on the two beds so that there was no gap and folded back the blankets. He was lying on the bed propped up with pillows still just wearing a towel. He said, "Come here" and put his hand on the bed beside him.
I lay on the bed beside him. Straight away, he moved closer to me, put his arm around my shoulder and then leant over and kissed me on my mouth. I could feel my erection growing in my shorts and even though it was still very warm in the room, I was shivering. He rolled half on top of me so that we were facing each other and kissed with our arms around each other. I could feel my hard cock pressing against a similar hardness inside his towel and he was rubbing it against me as we kissed.
He moved his hand down into my shorts, held my hard cock in his hand and squeezed it. I was about to do the same for him but then got up and pulled my shorts off. I could hardly believe I was lying completely naked with an erection in front of another guy, but it soon got better as Krishna took off his towel and I saw his erect cock. Krishna's cock was uncut and much darker than the skin on the rest of his body except for the head which was a contrasting pink. It had a pronounced upward bend in it especially towards the end and it stood up at a strong angle so that it almost rested against his body. It was slightly larger than my cut cock, but I thought mine looked more attractive. Not that I was complaining.
Krishna then lay on top of me, both of us completely naked and kissed me again, rubbing our cocks against each other. I was kissing him back and running my hand through his thick black hair. Then Krishna got up again, pushed my legs apart and knelt between my legs. I thought for a second that he might be going to suck my cock but he just kept rubbing my cock and then holding his cock and mine together and squeezing and rubbing them as well as tickling my scrotum with his other hand. Then I noticed that he was not just tickling my balls but playing with my arse hole. He gently pressed his finger into my hole a few times. He was looking at me with that strange look which I now knew to be desire.
"Do you like that?"
"Yeah"
He jumped up eagerly and said "I will get a condom". Was I ever going to understand what this guy meant when he asked me something? Note for future reference: when a guy puts his finger in your arse and asks "Do you like this?" it doesn't mean "do you like having my finger in your arse?" it means "do you want to be fucked?". I was a little apprehensive about fucking but I did want to do this. I wanted to do everything with him.
He went to my bag and found the condoms and got one out, then went to his bag and got a bottle of what looked like baby oil. He went back to his position kneeling between my legs and rolled the condom onto his cock then put some oil on his hand and rubbed it over. Then I felt him press the end of his cock against my arse hole. I had heard that it was painful. In my fantasies I had usually only imagined sucking or masturbation. My arse tightened up but he did not try to force it. He rubbed his oily hand over my cock and started masturbating me. I wanted this so much. He was giving gentle nudges with his cock against my hole. I tried to relax to let him in and immediately I felt his cock slide into my arse. It didn't hurt at all.
"Is it in?" I asked.
"Yes.. Does it feel good?"
I could feel his hard cock as I tightened my sphincter and I could feel it touching me somehow inside but it didn't actually feel much different to shitting. I had this beautiful guy inside me in the most intimate and private way. I wanted his whole body inside me if it was possible. The idea of it made me feel very good.
"Yeah" I answered.
"You are very warm inside"
"Thanks"
I said stupidly not realising that he had meant it literally. He bent forward with his cock inside me and kissed me. I felt his cock start to come out but he pushed it back in while still kissing. He did this a few more times while we were still kissing. I folded by legs over his body and tried to pull him into me more deeply. Then he straightened back up and started slowly moving his cock in and out of my arse while at the same time sliding his hand up and down my cock. He occasionally closed his eyes and tilted his head back and I could see the pleasure he was getting from fucking me. Otherwise he just looked at my face with that expression that made me feel so wanted and lusted for.
After a while, I had to push his hand away from my cock. He gave me a quick worried look.
"I don't want to cum so soon."
I could feel I was getting to the edge. The feeling of his cock inside me intensified the feelings of him masturbating me. I was realising that this fucking was feeling very good. He just smiled again and then put my legs on his shoulders, grabbed one of the pillows, lifted be up and put it under my lower back. He put his arms around my thighs and pushed his cock all the way into me. Then he started fucking me faster and more forcefully. I held my cock and gave it the occasional stroke but I was so close to orgasm that I could not do more. I could feel him more inside me and I noticed that my cock had become more slippery. Looking at it I saw a thick thread of precum leading to a pool of it that had dripped onto my body.
Then something started to go wrong. I felt a pain in the end of my cock. Not a pain really but a strong feeling that I needed to piss. I thought I was going to spoil this by having to tell Krishna to stop because I needed to piss. But the feeling started to spread. Down my cock, around my arse, into my legs. Then I felt it in my chest and my arm pits. I was also feeling pressure in my neck and face and my feet and toes were curling to resist the feeling. I was near to panic. Had he injured me internally somehow?
"Krishna!"
I looked at his face, his mouth was open and under his eyes was shiny with sweat. I could see he was close to orgasm and he was thrusting his cock into me faster and harder, his thighs slapping against my buttocks. Something about seeing his face or about calling his name flicked a switch in my brain and I realised that this hot cold electric feeling filling my body and curling my toes was nothing like pain. It was the most intense pleasure, the most amazing ecstasy and a more powerful and prolonged orgasm than I had thought possible.
I gave one or two more stroke to my cock and then I felt my cum pump out in spasms and hit my chest and body. I could not breathe as each spasm of pleasure forced another spurt of cum from my cock. I realised he had slowed down and pushed his cock into my arse once or twice more. We had orgasmed together. He collapsed down on top of me, sandwiching my cum between our bodies and kissed me briefly again before putting his head over my shoulder. He was breathing so hard and I could feel his heart beating. I could hardly breathe with the weight of his body now on top of me. I felt my arse muscles force his deflating cock out of me. He rolled over onto his back and I saw the condom still on his cock full of a surprising amount of his cum. He pulled it off, tied a knot in it, held it up for me to see (for some reason) and then threw it on the floor. Then he rolled back over so that he was half on top of me and so that we held each other in our arms.
"That was good" He said into the pillow.
"Yeah".
I was just staring at the ceiling bewildered and elated. We didn't speak anymore and it wasn't long before I heard Krishna quietly snoring. I started to think about what had happened. I had met Krishna. I liked him a lot and he obviously liked me. We had become friends and had a very happy day together in Mandu. I realised now how much he had been sexually attracted to me so we had felt the same about each other. Just now, we had had the most perfect, intimate and amazing sex. I had let a guy fuck me in my arse and I had enjoyed it. I knew that I wanted to do this again. Shouldn't I feel guilty? Wasn't I a pervert?
No way! There was nothing wrong with what we had done. There was everything right with what we had done. There was nothing wrong with me. There was everything right with me. I felt free and overjoyed and angry all at once. A huge weights had been lifted from me. Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't want to take my hands off Krishna for a second to wipe them away.
I woke in the early morning as it was starting to get light. Krishna must have woken after I fell asleep because we had blankets over us but now he was still sleeping. We were both still naked and we had gone to sleep without washing again. I could smell the cum on by body and my cock and arse hole were still oily. I decided to get up and wash while Krishna was still sleeping. Mandu was quite cold in the morning and I had to wash with cold water. Showering was done by tipping a bucket of water over yourself, soaping up your body all over and then tipping more buckets of water over yourself to rinse off. The sound of the water must have woken Krishna up and he came into the bathroom. He was still naked and I was again stunned to see this beautiful boy laughing at me and looking so happy. His dark stubble made him look even sexier. He helped me finish by tipping the buckets over me so I had both hand free to make sure I got all the soap off. Then I helped him in the same way. Although it was cold, we had a lot of fun with each other and laughed a lot. Then we got the towels and dried each other. This seems like a very simple thing but it made me so happy I almost cried again. Inevitably, we kissed again and both got hard.
We went back to the main room and sat on the bed masturbating. I reached over and started masturbating Krishna for him. I had not actually touched his cock the night before (actually, I had never touched any other guy's cock before). I was surprised that the skin on an uncut cock was so loose even though his cock was hard. I put my body behind him and held him in my free arm as I masturbated him and kissed him on the side of his neck. It wasn't long before his body was convulsing in my arms and his cum was spurting out onto his body and my hand. I then lay on the bed and masturbated by myself. He just lay beside me watching me curiously with his beautiful smile and I loved to be watched by him. As I came close to orgasm he put his lips over mine and gave me a very passionate kiss and held it as I blew my load. Unfortunately, all this meant that we had to wash in with the cold water again.
After that, we went to the dining room and had some breakfast and then went back, packed our bags, checked out and put our stuff in the hotel cloak room. I had only planned to stay one day in Mandu. I wanted to change my plans and stay longer but Krishna said that he had left without telling anyone and so he needed to go back today. There was no point staying longer without him being there as we had pretty thoroughly explored Mandu the previous day. The bus back to Indore wasn't leaving until 11am so we had some more time together. We went off back to the marble tomb of Hoshang Shah to find an inscription I had wanted to see and had forgotten about. Then we just relaxed for a while until it was time to go back to the bus stop.
The bus ride back to Indore was much better than the ride from Indore the day before. The bus was air conditioned and there were not many people on it. We talked a lot on the way back. Krishna was the youngest of six brothers. They had all studied law as Krishna was now doing in Delhi. His family seemed to be very wealthy and they had several houses. His parents were not actually in Indore at that time but in another family house somewhere else. He had not told his brothers that were still living in his Indore house where he had gone but he was most concerned that he had not told the housekeeper. He would apparently have some hard explaining to do.
The next place I had planned to go was the ancient Buddhist site of Sanchi. I would go straight to the railway station in Indore to get the express train to Bhopal and then a local train to Sanchi. Krishna came to the railway station and waited with me. I suppose I should have been heart-broken to have to leave him but I had a lot of conflicting thought and emotions. As well, Krishna was impatient to get back home. In a way, I was impatient to start living my life. The time with Krishna had woken me up. I was also feeling quite angry. I think I was mainly angry with myself but it was projected onto a man and a woman also waiting for the train. They seemed to be from a northern European country but I could not identify their language. They were both dressed in the same way in singlets and very short jean shorts. It was very inappropriate dress for a fairly conservative part of India but as well, judging from the reactions of people who stood near them, they had not bothered to wash any time recently. They were the only other non-Indians on the platform. Some people were obviously pointing to them and talking about them. Krishna and I were holding hands and talking together. He was standing close to me and looking at my face in his usual sexy way as I spoke. The Indian people on the platform looked at me with interest, I smiled at them and they smiled back. They obviously didn't think us holding hands and being close meant anything. What made me angry was that I noticed that this European couple were looking at me and discussing me with disgusted looks on their faces.
In a way, those filthy Europeans came to symbolise my previous life. I had woken up to the fact that I was gay and I was happy about it. I wasn't going to let anyone drag me down. It is those people who try to say that there is something wrong with me who have the filthy perverted minds.
In a way, what I had hoped for when I left Sydney airport had come true. The boy that left for India that day never returned to Australia. In his place was someone else. I had fled to India to run away from myself but instead I had found myself in the arms and eyes of this beautiful guy.
It was hard to say goodbye to Krishna that day. I could not help but cry. We never met again but I will never forget him.
In 1992 at twenty years old, I decided I wanted to travel in India. When I left from Sydney airport, I secretly hoped that I would never come back. Even if the plane crashed and I died, it would be better than coming back to my life. I flew into Bombay. Immediately I felt a kind of freedom I had not felt before. I worked my way northwards visiting the places of cultural and spiritual significance that I had read about. I visited the Buddhist cave temples at Ajanta and the massive rock cut Hindu temple at Ellora. Everywhere, people came to talk to me and ask where I was from. I don't know if it was because there weren't many tourists around at that time of year, because I was alone or because of my strange Australian Akubra hat, but it meant a lot to me that people seemed so happy to see me.
I wanted to visit the ruined city of Mandu. This was my first time travelling and so I had planned everything in a lot of detail before I left home. I had decided to stay for one night in the nearby city of Indore before going on to Mandu. I didn’t think there would be much to see in Indore that interested me, but I had a long day of bus travel from Ajanta and I wasn't sure that I could get a connecting bus to Mandu the same day. I arrived in Indore mid afternoon and found a nearby hotel where I checked in, had a shower and then went out to look around the town. Indore seemed to be a very busy commercial town. I wandered off to the bus station to find where the buses going to Mandu left from and to buy a ticket for the following morning. I then went looking for the museum. A guy called out to me:
"Where are you going?"
"To the museum"
By then I was actually already at the museum but noticed it was closed. He said:
"Sorry, it is closed"
"I know"
"Can I show you our burnt palace?"
"OK"
There was a palace in Indore called the "Rajwada" but it had burnt down only a few years before. We walked together towards the palace.
"What is your good name?"
"I am Mark. What about you?
He told me his name was Krishna. His family was from Indore but he had only recently returned from Delhi where he was a student. He said he was planning to return in a few weeks. He told me some complicated story of how one of the teachers had been fired, all the other teachers had gone out on strike in protest and so the term had finished early. The teacher had wanted to be a political candidate and his opponent had used his influence to corruptly get him fired.
When we got near to the burnt palace, he took me by the hand to cross the road. I had seen boys and men holding hands in India and although I stared the first few times, I came to realise that it is normal in their culture for male friends of any age to hold hands. But it was electric to me. When we passed through the remains of the grand palace gate, there was nothing much left inside. It was just grassy parkland where the palace had been. We talked a lot about where I had been travelling, what I did at home and about his family and life. I was really getting to like this guy. The way he looked at me, his open smile, his sleepy looking eyes and when he held my hand a few times as we walked through the "palace" I felt so warm and happy that I almost cried. I also felt myself getting a bit hard sometimes.
It was getting dark by then and I told him that I was going to Mandu in the morning. He said he had been to Mandu a few times and that it was a beautiful place. He would meet me in the morning to show me the right bus (always confusing in India) and left me to go back to his home. I was thinking seriously about delaying going to Mandu so I could spend more time with him. He told me about a lot of other places in Indore that I could visit that now I would miss. He obviously wanted me to stay.
The next morning, I had a call in my hotel room that someone was waiting in the lobby to meet me. I was already dressed so I came straight down to find Krishna smiling at me and carrying a backpack.
"I want to come with you to Mandu".
"OK"
We went back to my room and he sat on the bed as I finished packing my bag.
"Why are you carrying around so many books?"
"I don't know, I just like to read."
"That's nice."
I showed him some of the things I had bought along the way, mainly books, postcards a few small statues and some crystals that I bought from a small boy in Ajanta. I saw that he noticed a box (unopened) of condoms that I had optimistically packed. He gave me a strange curious look as I shyly put some clothes on top of them but he didn't say anything. Other than then, he was always smiling at me and I could hardly take my eyes off him.
When I was all packed, we went downstairs and I checked out. We walked the short distance to the bus station where he bought his ticket. We found the right bus, put our bags inside and reserved our seats with the conductor. We then got off and drank some milky Indian tea and talked some more while waiting for the time that the bus was meant to leave. Before long a huge crowd of people appeared and all packed onto our bus. I was very worried that we would not be able to get back on. He said, "Don’t worry". Not long after, we went back over to the bus and Krishna spoke to the conductor. The conductor got onto the bus and told the people sitting in our seats to get out. Then he called Krishna and I into the bus and showed us to our seats very respectfully. This is the second time something like this happened when I was with Krishna and I will say something more about it later.
The bus ride to Mandu only took about two hours but it was hot and dusty and there were a lot of people in the bus. Krishna pointed out a few interesting things that we passed on the way out of Indore but soon stopped talking. After a while, he rested his head on my shoulder and dozed. This kind of very simple physical intimacy with another guy was something I had never experienced before and I was very moved by it. I took the risk and held his hand. He didn't let go.
When we arrived in Mandu we had to get a bicycle rickshaw to take us to the hotel that I had already booked ahead. Mandu seemed to be completely deserted in contrast to the very busy Indore. Luckily, it wasn't the time of year when large numbers of tourists come there. A few small children called out a greeting "Namaste" as we passed. The hotel was made up of a number of separate buildings or bungalows distributed around a garden. I found the reception and told the manager that although I had only booked for one, my friend is going to stay with me now. I didn't really understand the problem but the manager wasn't happy, said that there was no room available and I would have to upgrade to the "luxury" room. I was ready to agree when Krishna stepped forward and said something (in his language) to the manager. There was something very mysterious about Krishna. Back in Indore, we had been trying to cross a very busy road. There was a traffic policeman directing the traffic. After trying for a while, Krishna yelled something to the traffic cop. He turned around and looked at me and then at Krishna and I saw a look in his eyes of recognition and then what I can only describe as fear. He actually saluted Krishna and then stopped the traffic to let us cross. It was the same with the bus conductor and now the same with the hotel manager. Whatever he said changed the manager's attitude completely and he booked is into a very nice bungalow in the garden without another word and no extra cost.
The room had two single beds close together but Krishna immediately just pushed them together without a thought. We each had a wash and changed our clothes because we were very sweaty and dusty after the bus ride. The room didn't actually have a shower, just a bathroom with a tap and a bucket with scoop and just cold water but this was typical for domestic tourist hotels in India and I was used to it. We had some early lunch in the hotel dining room and then we then went out to explore Mandu.
Mandu is a ruined fortress city on top of a high rocky plateau overlooking the sacred Narmada River and the agricultural plains below. There are ruined palaces, tombs and mosques amid overgrown gardens and ponds. It has unusual architecture with very strong sloping walls, robust domes and delicate cupolas and pavilions. Mandu has the first fully marble domed building in India and is believed to be a partial inspiration to the Taj Mahal. Although a strategic military site in Indian History, it was also a pleasure resort for various Indian rulers before falling into ruin.
While Krishna and I walked around, often hand in hand from place to place, I read to him from one of my guide books and he told me about the folk legends associated with the places as well as when he came here as a boy. This was when we were at the famous "ship" palace, the Jahaz Mahal. A long building with cupolas on the top at each end and surrounded by ponds. A few boys came up to us shyly and Krishna joked with them. It was then that a gust of wind came and blew my hat off and it flew right down and landed in the pond. The boys all ran screaming after my hat and waded out into the pond to get it back for me.
Krishna had thick black curly hair. Actually he could have done with a haircut. He was slightly taller than me but slimmer. His skin was a nice light brown with black hairs on his forearms and I could see black curly hair on his chest. He had a beautiful smile, dark brown sleepy eyes and was very good looking. He was twenty-two, two years older than me. As we were walking around Mandu, he would sometimes start to sing a song, the same song every time. He said it was a Hindi movie song. He often looked into my eyes and sang the last words of the song with a funny serious look on his face that made me laugh (and feel sick with desire). I couldn’t understand what he was singing but I recognised the word "dhil" a few times which I knew meant "heart". Normally, if someone looked at me in my eyes and just kept looking, I would feel uncomfortable and look away. When I was talking to him, Krishna had this habit of just looking curiously at my eyes and different parts of my face with this funny beautiful smile that he had. Often I sensed that he was looking at my mouth and lips. I was feeling such attraction to him but not thinking that he could possibly be feeling that same about me. Sometimes when I was speaking or reading to him, I caught him looking at me like this and I just had to stop and ask "what ?". He laughed and said, "Nothing, keep going."
I have green eyes and light brown hair that seems to change colour depending on the light. It also fades in the sun and although I was often wearing a hat in India, my hair was nearly blond. I have a quite broad shoulders and a broad finely hairy chest which together with my rounded face and bubble butt give the impression that I am a little chubby but actually I was quite slim and muscular at that time.
Later we walked to a building called "Roopmati's Pavilion". From here there was an amazing view of the country far below. Roopmatis' Pavilion is a small fort with small domed structures on each end. It was from here that Roopmati waited for her lover and here Krishna and I sat alone looking out at the view. Krishna told me the story of Roopmati. She was a very beautiful singer and Mandu is famous for the love story of Roopmati with Baz Bahadur, the ruler of Mandu at that time. There are many poems and legends of their love. Eventually, a general of the Moghul emperor of India Adham Khan also fell in love with Roopmati and because of his jealousy attacked Mandu. Baz Bahadur refused to surrender even though he had no chance of winning because he did not want to lose Roopmati. He was defeated and killed and when Roopmati knew, she killed herself. It was in this small pavilion that we were actually sitting that Roopmati saw Baz Bahadur killed below and where she took poison.
The sun was beginning to set and the evening smoke could be seen rising from the villages far below.
"Markji, do you have a girl friend?"
"No. .. Do you?"
"No but I had before."
"She was your lover?"
"No, she was just my good friend.... Markji, did you have a lover before?"
"No"
....
"Do you want to have some pleasure with me?"
"OK"
WHAT?!! What had he just asked me? What had I said? What did it mean? What else could it mean?
Krishna smiled at me and said, "Let’s go". I stood up to take a last look at the valley below. Krishna stood behind me, put his arms around me and kissed me on the side of the neck. I could have melted. We started walking back to the hotel. Large bats were flying overhead and it got dark quickly. Whenever there were street lights, millions of insects swarmed around them. Krishna didn't say much as we walked. He seemed nervous and I was confused. Back at the hotel, we decided to get something to eat. After waiting impatiently for ages in the hotel dining room, we had simple dinner of vegetarian cutlets, potato fries and salad. Krishna ordered a couple of bottles of beer which we took back to our bungalow.
We opened a bottle each and sat on the bed drinking it. There was a TV in the room but we couldn't get it to work. His attitude to me had changed somehow. He smiled less but still looked at me all the time. After finishing his bottle, he said he needed to wash and he disappeared into the bathroom. I was feeling almost sick with desire for him but too nervous to make the first move. When he came out of the bathroom, he was just wearing a towel and I could not take my eyes off his body, his black chest hair, broad shoulders and muscled arms. Most of all, the distinct bulge of his cock. He seemed back to his old self and showed me his beautiful smile, struck a body builder pose and said "you like?". I said "yeah" before I could stop myself. "You need to wash?" he asked. I grabbed some clean boxer shorts and went into the bathroom.
When I came out, I went for my bag to get a clean T-shirt. "No, let me see you." he said. I stood there in front of him and he looked at my body. He said, "You look nice". I was looking pretty good with all the exercise since coming to India. He had rearranged the sheets on the two beds so that there was no gap and folded back the blankets. He was lying on the bed propped up with pillows still just wearing a towel. He said, "Come here" and put his hand on the bed beside him.
I lay on the bed beside him. Straight away, he moved closer to me, put his arm around my shoulder and then leant over and kissed me on my mouth. I could feel my erection growing in my shorts and even though it was still very warm in the room, I was shivering. He rolled half on top of me so that we were facing each other and kissed with our arms around each other. I could feel my hard cock pressing against a similar hardness inside his towel and he was rubbing it against me as we kissed.
He moved his hand down into my shorts, held my hard cock in his hand and squeezed it. I was about to do the same for him but then got up and pulled my shorts off. I could hardly believe I was lying completely naked with an erection in front of another guy, but it soon got better as Krishna took off his towel and I saw his erect cock. Krishna's cock was uncut and much darker than the skin on the rest of his body except for the head which was a contrasting pink. It had a pronounced upward bend in it especially towards the end and it stood up at a strong angle so that it almost rested against his body. It was slightly larger than my cut cock, but I thought mine looked more attractive. Not that I was complaining.
Krishna then lay on top of me, both of us completely naked and kissed me again, rubbing our cocks against each other. I was kissing him back and running my hand through his thick black hair. Then Krishna got up again, pushed my legs apart and knelt between my legs. I thought for a second that he might be going to suck my cock but he just kept rubbing my cock and then holding his cock and mine together and squeezing and rubbing them as well as tickling my scrotum with his other hand. Then I noticed that he was not just tickling my balls but playing with my arse hole. He gently pressed his finger into my hole a few times. He was looking at me with that strange look which I now knew to be desire.
"Do you like that?"
"Yeah"
He jumped up eagerly and said "I will get a condom". Was I ever going to understand what this guy meant when he asked me something? Note for future reference: when a guy puts his finger in your arse and asks "Do you like this?" it doesn't mean "do you like having my finger in your arse?" it means "do you want to be fucked?". I was a little apprehensive about fucking but I did want to do this. I wanted to do everything with him.
He went to my bag and found the condoms and got one out, then went to his bag and got a bottle of what looked like baby oil. He went back to his position kneeling between my legs and rolled the condom onto his cock then put some oil on his hand and rubbed it over. Then I felt him press the end of his cock against my arse hole. I had heard that it was painful. In my fantasies I had usually only imagined sucking or masturbation. My arse tightened up but he did not try to force it. He rubbed his oily hand over my cock and started masturbating me. I wanted this so much. He was giving gentle nudges with his cock against my hole. I tried to relax to let him in and immediately I felt his cock slide into my arse. It didn't hurt at all.
"Is it in?" I asked.
"Yes.. Does it feel good?"
I could feel his hard cock as I tightened my sphincter and I could feel it touching me somehow inside but it didn't actually feel much different to shitting. I had this beautiful guy inside me in the most intimate and private way. I wanted his whole body inside me if it was possible. The idea of it made me feel very good.
"Yeah" I answered.
"You are very warm inside"
"Thanks"
I said stupidly not realising that he had meant it literally. He bent forward with his cock inside me and kissed me. I felt his cock start to come out but he pushed it back in while still kissing. He did this a few more times while we were still kissing. I folded by legs over his body and tried to pull him into me more deeply. Then he straightened back up and started slowly moving his cock in and out of my arse while at the same time sliding his hand up and down my cock. He occasionally closed his eyes and tilted his head back and I could see the pleasure he was getting from fucking me. Otherwise he just looked at my face with that expression that made me feel so wanted and lusted for.
After a while, I had to push his hand away from my cock. He gave me a quick worried look.
"I don't want to cum so soon."
I could feel I was getting to the edge. The feeling of his cock inside me intensified the feelings of him masturbating me. I was realising that this fucking was feeling very good. He just smiled again and then put my legs on his shoulders, grabbed one of the pillows, lifted be up and put it under my lower back. He put his arms around my thighs and pushed his cock all the way into me. Then he started fucking me faster and more forcefully. I held my cock and gave it the occasional stroke but I was so close to orgasm that I could not do more. I could feel him more inside me and I noticed that my cock had become more slippery. Looking at it I saw a thick thread of precum leading to a pool of it that had dripped onto my body.
Then something started to go wrong. I felt a pain in the end of my cock. Not a pain really but a strong feeling that I needed to piss. I thought I was going to spoil this by having to tell Krishna to stop because I needed to piss. But the feeling started to spread. Down my cock, around my arse, into my legs. Then I felt it in my chest and my arm pits. I was also feeling pressure in my neck and face and my feet and toes were curling to resist the feeling. I was near to panic. Had he injured me internally somehow?
"Krishna!"
I looked at his face, his mouth was open and under his eyes was shiny with sweat. I could see he was close to orgasm and he was thrusting his cock into me faster and harder, his thighs slapping against my buttocks. Something about seeing his face or about calling his name flicked a switch in my brain and I realised that this hot cold electric feeling filling my body and curling my toes was nothing like pain. It was the most intense pleasure, the most amazing ecstasy and a more powerful and prolonged orgasm than I had thought possible.
I gave one or two more stroke to my cock and then I felt my cum pump out in spasms and hit my chest and body. I could not breathe as each spasm of pleasure forced another spurt of cum from my cock. I realised he had slowed down and pushed his cock into my arse once or twice more. We had orgasmed together. He collapsed down on top of me, sandwiching my cum between our bodies and kissed me briefly again before putting his head over my shoulder. He was breathing so hard and I could feel his heart beating. I could hardly breathe with the weight of his body now on top of me. I felt my arse muscles force his deflating cock out of me. He rolled over onto his back and I saw the condom still on his cock full of a surprising amount of his cum. He pulled it off, tied a knot in it, held it up for me to see (for some reason) and then threw it on the floor. Then he rolled back over so that he was half on top of me and so that we held each other in our arms.
"That was good" He said into the pillow.
"Yeah".
I was just staring at the ceiling bewildered and elated. We didn't speak anymore and it wasn't long before I heard Krishna quietly snoring. I started to think about what had happened. I had met Krishna. I liked him a lot and he obviously liked me. We had become friends and had a very happy day together in Mandu. I realised now how much he had been sexually attracted to me so we had felt the same about each other. Just now, we had had the most perfect, intimate and amazing sex. I had let a guy fuck me in my arse and I had enjoyed it. I knew that I wanted to do this again. Shouldn't I feel guilty? Wasn't I a pervert?
No way! There was nothing wrong with what we had done. There was everything right with what we had done. There was nothing wrong with me. There was everything right with me. I felt free and overjoyed and angry all at once. A huge weights had been lifted from me. Tears were streaming down my face but I didn't want to take my hands off Krishna for a second to wipe them away.
I woke in the early morning as it was starting to get light. Krishna must have woken after I fell asleep because we had blankets over us but now he was still sleeping. We were both still naked and we had gone to sleep without washing again. I could smell the cum on by body and my cock and arse hole were still oily. I decided to get up and wash while Krishna was still sleeping. Mandu was quite cold in the morning and I had to wash with cold water. Showering was done by tipping a bucket of water over yourself, soaping up your body all over and then tipping more buckets of water over yourself to rinse off. The sound of the water must have woken Krishna up and he came into the bathroom. He was still naked and I was again stunned to see this beautiful boy laughing at me and looking so happy. His dark stubble made him look even sexier. He helped me finish by tipping the buckets over me so I had both hand free to make sure I got all the soap off. Then I helped him in the same way. Although it was cold, we had a lot of fun with each other and laughed a lot. Then we got the towels and dried each other. This seems like a very simple thing but it made me so happy I almost cried again. Inevitably, we kissed again and both got hard.
We went back to the main room and sat on the bed masturbating. I reached over and started masturbating Krishna for him. I had not actually touched his cock the night before (actually, I had never touched any other guy's cock before). I was surprised that the skin on an uncut cock was so loose even though his cock was hard. I put my body behind him and held him in my free arm as I masturbated him and kissed him on the side of his neck. It wasn't long before his body was convulsing in my arms and his cum was spurting out onto his body and my hand. I then lay on the bed and masturbated by myself. He just lay beside me watching me curiously with his beautiful smile and I loved to be watched by him. As I came close to orgasm he put his lips over mine and gave me a very passionate kiss and held it as I blew my load. Unfortunately, all this meant that we had to wash in with the cold water again.
After that, we went to the dining room and had some breakfast and then went back, packed our bags, checked out and put our stuff in the hotel cloak room. I had only planned to stay one day in Mandu. I wanted to change my plans and stay longer but Krishna said that he had left without telling anyone and so he needed to go back today. There was no point staying longer without him being there as we had pretty thoroughly explored Mandu the previous day. The bus back to Indore wasn't leaving until 11am so we had some more time together. We went off back to the marble tomb of Hoshang Shah to find an inscription I had wanted to see and had forgotten about. Then we just relaxed for a while until it was time to go back to the bus stop.
The bus ride back to Indore was much better than the ride from Indore the day before. The bus was air conditioned and there were not many people on it. We talked a lot on the way back. Krishna was the youngest of six brothers. They had all studied law as Krishna was now doing in Delhi. His family seemed to be very wealthy and they had several houses. His parents were not actually in Indore at that time but in another family house somewhere else. He had not told his brothers that were still living in his Indore house where he had gone but he was most concerned that he had not told the housekeeper. He would apparently have some hard explaining to do.
The next place I had planned to go was the ancient Buddhist site of Sanchi. I would go straight to the railway station in Indore to get the express train to Bhopal and then a local train to Sanchi. Krishna came to the railway station and waited with me. I suppose I should have been heart-broken to have to leave him but I had a lot of conflicting thought and emotions. As well, Krishna was impatient to get back home. In a way, I was impatient to start living my life. The time with Krishna had woken me up. I was also feeling quite angry. I think I was mainly angry with myself but it was projected onto a man and a woman also waiting for the train. They seemed to be from a northern European country but I could not identify their language. They were both dressed in the same way in singlets and very short jean shorts. It was very inappropriate dress for a fairly conservative part of India but as well, judging from the reactions of people who stood near them, they had not bothered to wash any time recently. They were the only other non-Indians on the platform. Some people were obviously pointing to them and talking about them. Krishna and I were holding hands and talking together. He was standing close to me and looking at my face in his usual sexy way as I spoke. The Indian people on the platform looked at me with interest, I smiled at them and they smiled back. They obviously didn't think us holding hands and being close meant anything. What made me angry was that I noticed that this European couple were looking at me and discussing me with disgusted looks on their faces.
In a way, those filthy Europeans came to symbolise my previous life. I had woken up to the fact that I was gay and I was happy about it. I wasn't going to let anyone drag me down. It is those people who try to say that there is something wrong with me who have the filthy perverted minds.
In a way, what I had hoped for when I left Sydney airport had come true. The boy that left for India that day never returned to Australia. In his place was someone else. I had fled to India to run away from myself but instead I had found myself in the arms and eyes of this beautiful guy.
It was hard to say goodbye to Krishna that day. I could not help but cry. We never met again but I will never forget him.
