ChrisGibson
JUB Addict
MYRNE AND WOLF SET OUT TO FIND HILDA AND THE ABBEY OF SAINT CLEW. MEANWHILE, HILDA RECEIVES
A VISITOR
THE WESTERN FENS
“Myrne!” Wolf cried as her horse misstepped and, with a great neigh, fell neck deep into the water of the fens while Myrne’s head disappeared beneath the water.
“Myrne! Wolf cried again, dismounting.
Myrne came up out of the water, soaked, weeds in her hair, floating on her back, and Wolf, jumping into the water, dragged her onto, if not shore, a shallower spot in the reeds.
“Myrne!” he cried. “Speak to me.”
Black hair plastered to her white face, she did not open her eyes, but when he pressed on her chest and she coughed, Myrne said, “Damn these marshes.”
“Gods!” Wolf picked her up and pulled her to him. “Gods, you’re alive!”
“So, I am,” Myrne said, as her horse neighed. “But get Snowmane back on shore. If his leg is alright.”
Myrne coughed again. “Is it?”
Wolf took off his soaked cape, heavy and smelling of wet fur, and he and Myrne tugged at the horse. Snowmane seemed to resist for a time, but came back onto the shore screaming in pain.
“It was by my magic he even got to shore.” Myrne said.
Crazed with pain, the horse screamed every time it landed on its leg, and almost danced back into the water. As Myrne moved back from the horse and Wolf reached for his dagger, suddenly something whistled past them and stuck fast in Snowmane’s neck. The horse neighed crazily again, and then collapsed on its side as Myrne called out its name.
But now they all saw a small boat sailing over the more open water, and it found the firm, higher land Wolf could not. Out of it came a brown and bent old woman, so ancient her nose touched her chin.
“’El be fine,” she said, coming to the horse. “But ‘el be sleepin’ for a wul till I get some plank and bandage for ‘im.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Wolf said, sounding uncertain.
“Yer a yung fine piece o’man you are,” she assessed, winking and grabbing Wolf’s backside, “Twill be a treat for me if you ride back to the stead.”
“Stay with Snowmane,” Wolf said to Myrne, feeling like an idiot as he climbed onto the raft with the old woman. The crone winked at the wet Myrne and chucked Wolf under his chin. As he smiled foolishnly at Myrne, she watched him and the old woman paddle away to her house in the swamp, leaving her alone..
If the leg could be bound, and if Myrne could get a good night’s sleep, then she could perform a spell powerful enough. And draining enough to heal Snowmane.
As they left, Myrne knew they were going to get bindings for Snowmane, but she thought of old fairy tales where strange hags demanded one night of love from a young man for their favors and part of her imagined Wolf sleeping with the hag. She knew she should laugh, but as she coughed up water, Myrne found the idea of Wolf sleeping with anyone distinctly unfunny.
THE ABBEY OF
SAINT CLEW
An afternoon’s walk southwest of the city of Ambridge, the road was more crowded than ever, but with a peaceful measured walking, almost like a procession, as the crowds came to the long low stone abbey of Saint Clew. There was always food for the hungry or for whoever came, but tonight there would be a great feast. Tonight there would be blessings. The great Abbess always bestowed her blessing, but tonight, young Hilda had returned, shem who some called Saint Hilda, the future Abbess. They had seen her black veiled procession coming up from the southwest where she had presided over her father, King Anthal’s funeral. They had beheld, if not participated in the coronation of King Cedd before going on retreat to Saint Phame’s convent..
Now she would be present to sing the evening hymn, say the blessings of her community, and all who came to Saint Clew to be ministered to, to give offerings, were in the end the community, and so they all entered past the great portico, into the large, long hall, with its open windows that let in the light of early evening, and back and forth, robed in black, came the acolytes. Along the walls of the old monastery were painted the frescoes of the gods and saints, over and over again, the sitting, peaceful statues of the Ard. The very end of the hall had his great stone image. He had come into the world once, as the one who restored peace, order and joy, but he was in all, and in all times, and they revered in their worship, for now the Ard was the Great Way and the Great Way was within.
As the rows of people began to sit, and the already quiet murmuring died down, suddenly from a side door, robed in black or in their white gowns and black veils, came the monks and nuns, bowing to each other, led by the old Abbess Gertrude. Beside her was Hilda and now, Gertrude deferred to Hilda, who sat in the center of all the religious as they turned to face the congregation, almost like small Ard’s under the peaceful image of the great Ard.
As she had done in the temple back in Kingsboro, Hilda struck the gong. Before she sang, she looked out at the girl she had heard about. They would have to speak. She, this girl, and Mother Abbess. But for now what she could do was sing.
“Ohu mataka samagi kirīmakin samba
adahas samagi kirīmakin samba
manasa vignānaya tula samagi kirīmakin samba
manasa sparśa samagi kirīmakin samba
hā ōnǣma deyak lesa prasanna hō vēdanākārī hægī
hō hō-vēdanākārī-hō-prasanna ē ḷamayage
ehi atyavaśya san̆dahā manasa sambandha samaga
tattvaya, ē itā samagi kirīmakin ohu dakiyi.”
Hilda began the song, folding her hands over her lap, closing her eyes as the monks and the nuns joined in, speaking of the condition of men finding suffering and sadness, torture and pain in this world, not knowing how to escape the cycle of time and violence and anger. Long ago, to this land many times conquered, where men were always conquering, the message had come and the Sendics had put away one eyed Wode the Spear Carrier and Thaynar the Hammer, their gods of war who could help them conquer but could not show them peace. Here in the hall they sang, their voices ringing along the walls, those of the congregation who knew the words, heads bowed, sang along as well.
"Ohu samagi kirīmakin sammukha vū viṭa, āśāva sidu sudumæli.
dæḍi āśāva piḷiban̆da maḷānika samaga, ohu mudā vē.
nidahas karana viṭa, ehi dænuma bava ohu
mudā gat vē. "
Tonight, after the long journey, tonight after so long a time of living with hating one sister while fearing for the other, and enduring one brother while wondering where the other had gone, she was home, and tonight as she had not been able to do before, her prayers went out to them. May they be at peace. May they be well. No, but that was not enough. That was a generic thing. May they escape Cedd. May they be victorious. May they triumph. May we all live to see Cedd and Morgellyn humbled.
No, no, but that was not the way either. Give yourself to the Way. Even this fervent anger, this fervent prayer for safety and revenge was not prayer, putting all of ones self into these words, realizing the blank place you drifted into by accident and not by earning was the true nature, the true self and the only power. This was the prayer.
“She understands: 'Birth is exhausted,
the holy life has been lived out,
what can be done is done, of this
there is no more beyond.'"
When she had first come to Saint Clew, with some knowledge that she might one day be abbess, Hilda had attempted to fling every part of herself into the religious life. She had tried, through half closed eyes, to look out at the many people in the congregation, gathered for evening prayers, and feel their pain, their longing, their suffering. Maybe she had even tried to feel their envy and her sense of specialness, lifted above them, called to live a life of charity and beauty for those poor and ordinary people out in the crowd who could not. It was over a long stretch of time she knew none of this mattered, that every thought she had while she was singing was foolish. At first she thought it was only some of them, a few thoughts that were no good. Now she understood every thought was wasted.
That is what the Blessed One said.
The disciples were glad,
and they approved his words.
“I’M GLAD YOU CAME to us,” Abbess Gertrude said.
“I did not want to come,” the girl said, sitting in a chair across from the old woman. “I did not think you would want someone so soiled.”
“You are not soiled!” Gertrude said, passionately before Hilda could speak.
“Nothing that happened to you was your fault,” Hilda added. She was standing by the window looking at the pale, still frightened girl, with her pale brown hair hanging lank down her back.
“They say a girl who comes to work in the palace opens herself to it. I knew I was not the first,” she continued. “I do believe,” she confessed, “that part of me thought that if it would happen it might even be pleasant.”
“The King is a monster,” Hilda said.
“The King is a man,” Gertrude dismissed this. “He did what all powerful men do. He did what he was able to and you suffered for it, child. You do not have to discuss it if you do not wish, but we are here for you to say whatever you will.”
The young woman shook her head, her lips not quite trembling. Her eyes looked dead.
“I knew it was going to happen when I was called. When he called me to his chambers. Part of me wanted to run, to jump off a parapet or something. But I thought that surely they would catch me, and I thought I could endure it.”
“And you did endure it, child” Gertrude said, touching her hand. “Now we will help you live through it.”
“What is your name?” Hilda said as if this was the most important thing in the world.
“Hilary,” said the girl.
“Hilary,” Hilda told her, stay with us until this nightmare is bearable. We will leave a light on for you always.”
MORE TOMORROW
A VISITOR
THE WESTERN FENS
“Myrne!” Wolf cried as her horse misstepped and, with a great neigh, fell neck deep into the water of the fens while Myrne’s head disappeared beneath the water.
“Myrne! Wolf cried again, dismounting.
Myrne came up out of the water, soaked, weeds in her hair, floating on her back, and Wolf, jumping into the water, dragged her onto, if not shore, a shallower spot in the reeds.
“Myrne!” he cried. “Speak to me.”
Black hair plastered to her white face, she did not open her eyes, but when he pressed on her chest and she coughed, Myrne said, “Damn these marshes.”
“Gods!” Wolf picked her up and pulled her to him. “Gods, you’re alive!”
“So, I am,” Myrne said, as her horse neighed. “But get Snowmane back on shore. If his leg is alright.”
Myrne coughed again. “Is it?”
Wolf took off his soaked cape, heavy and smelling of wet fur, and he and Myrne tugged at the horse. Snowmane seemed to resist for a time, but came back onto the shore screaming in pain.
“It was by my magic he even got to shore.” Myrne said.
Crazed with pain, the horse screamed every time it landed on its leg, and almost danced back into the water. As Myrne moved back from the horse and Wolf reached for his dagger, suddenly something whistled past them and stuck fast in Snowmane’s neck. The horse neighed crazily again, and then collapsed on its side as Myrne called out its name.
But now they all saw a small boat sailing over the more open water, and it found the firm, higher land Wolf could not. Out of it came a brown and bent old woman, so ancient her nose touched her chin.
“’El be fine,” she said, coming to the horse. “But ‘el be sleepin’ for a wul till I get some plank and bandage for ‘im.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Wolf said, sounding uncertain.
“Yer a yung fine piece o’man you are,” she assessed, winking and grabbing Wolf’s backside, “Twill be a treat for me if you ride back to the stead.”
“Stay with Snowmane,” Wolf said to Myrne, feeling like an idiot as he climbed onto the raft with the old woman. The crone winked at the wet Myrne and chucked Wolf under his chin. As he smiled foolishnly at Myrne, she watched him and the old woman paddle away to her house in the swamp, leaving her alone..
If the leg could be bound, and if Myrne could get a good night’s sleep, then she could perform a spell powerful enough. And draining enough to heal Snowmane.
As they left, Myrne knew they were going to get bindings for Snowmane, but she thought of old fairy tales where strange hags demanded one night of love from a young man for their favors and part of her imagined Wolf sleeping with the hag. She knew she should laugh, but as she coughed up water, Myrne found the idea of Wolf sleeping with anyone distinctly unfunny.
THE ABBEY OF
SAINT CLEW
An afternoon’s walk southwest of the city of Ambridge, the road was more crowded than ever, but with a peaceful measured walking, almost like a procession, as the crowds came to the long low stone abbey of Saint Clew. There was always food for the hungry or for whoever came, but tonight there would be a great feast. Tonight there would be blessings. The great Abbess always bestowed her blessing, but tonight, young Hilda had returned, shem who some called Saint Hilda, the future Abbess. They had seen her black veiled procession coming up from the southwest where she had presided over her father, King Anthal’s funeral. They had beheld, if not participated in the coronation of King Cedd before going on retreat to Saint Phame’s convent..
Now she would be present to sing the evening hymn, say the blessings of her community, and all who came to Saint Clew to be ministered to, to give offerings, were in the end the community, and so they all entered past the great portico, into the large, long hall, with its open windows that let in the light of early evening, and back and forth, robed in black, came the acolytes. Along the walls of the old monastery were painted the frescoes of the gods and saints, over and over again, the sitting, peaceful statues of the Ard. The very end of the hall had his great stone image. He had come into the world once, as the one who restored peace, order and joy, but he was in all, and in all times, and they revered in their worship, for now the Ard was the Great Way and the Great Way was within.
As the rows of people began to sit, and the already quiet murmuring died down, suddenly from a side door, robed in black or in their white gowns and black veils, came the monks and nuns, bowing to each other, led by the old Abbess Gertrude. Beside her was Hilda and now, Gertrude deferred to Hilda, who sat in the center of all the religious as they turned to face the congregation, almost like small Ard’s under the peaceful image of the great Ard.
As she had done in the temple back in Kingsboro, Hilda struck the gong. Before she sang, she looked out at the girl she had heard about. They would have to speak. She, this girl, and Mother Abbess. But for now what she could do was sing.
“Ohu mataka samagi kirīmakin samba
adahas samagi kirīmakin samba
manasa vignānaya tula samagi kirīmakin samba
manasa sparśa samagi kirīmakin samba
hā ōnǣma deyak lesa prasanna hō vēdanākārī hægī
hō hō-vēdanākārī-hō-prasanna ē ḷamayage
ehi atyavaśya san̆dahā manasa sambandha samaga
tattvaya, ē itā samagi kirīmakin ohu dakiyi.”
Hilda began the song, folding her hands over her lap, closing her eyes as the monks and the nuns joined in, speaking of the condition of men finding suffering and sadness, torture and pain in this world, not knowing how to escape the cycle of time and violence and anger. Long ago, to this land many times conquered, where men were always conquering, the message had come and the Sendics had put away one eyed Wode the Spear Carrier and Thaynar the Hammer, their gods of war who could help them conquer but could not show them peace. Here in the hall they sang, their voices ringing along the walls, those of the congregation who knew the words, heads bowed, sang along as well.
"Ohu samagi kirīmakin sammukha vū viṭa, āśāva sidu sudumæli.
dæḍi āśāva piḷiban̆da maḷānika samaga, ohu mudā vē.
nidahas karana viṭa, ehi dænuma bava ohu
mudā gat vē. "
Tonight, after the long journey, tonight after so long a time of living with hating one sister while fearing for the other, and enduring one brother while wondering where the other had gone, she was home, and tonight as she had not been able to do before, her prayers went out to them. May they be at peace. May they be well. No, but that was not enough. That was a generic thing. May they escape Cedd. May they be victorious. May they triumph. May we all live to see Cedd and Morgellyn humbled.
No, no, but that was not the way either. Give yourself to the Way. Even this fervent anger, this fervent prayer for safety and revenge was not prayer, putting all of ones self into these words, realizing the blank place you drifted into by accident and not by earning was the true nature, the true self and the only power. This was the prayer.
“She understands: 'Birth is exhausted,
the holy life has been lived out,
what can be done is done, of this
there is no more beyond.'"
When she had first come to Saint Clew, with some knowledge that she might one day be abbess, Hilda had attempted to fling every part of herself into the religious life. She had tried, through half closed eyes, to look out at the many people in the congregation, gathered for evening prayers, and feel their pain, their longing, their suffering. Maybe she had even tried to feel their envy and her sense of specialness, lifted above them, called to live a life of charity and beauty for those poor and ordinary people out in the crowd who could not. It was over a long stretch of time she knew none of this mattered, that every thought she had while she was singing was foolish. At first she thought it was only some of them, a few thoughts that were no good. Now she understood every thought was wasted.
That is what the Blessed One said.
The disciples were glad,
and they approved his words.
“I’M GLAD YOU CAME to us,” Abbess Gertrude said.
“I did not want to come,” the girl said, sitting in a chair across from the old woman. “I did not think you would want someone so soiled.”
“You are not soiled!” Gertrude said, passionately before Hilda could speak.
“Nothing that happened to you was your fault,” Hilda added. She was standing by the window looking at the pale, still frightened girl, with her pale brown hair hanging lank down her back.
“They say a girl who comes to work in the palace opens herself to it. I knew I was not the first,” she continued. “I do believe,” she confessed, “that part of me thought that if it would happen it might even be pleasant.”
“The King is a monster,” Hilda said.
“The King is a man,” Gertrude dismissed this. “He did what all powerful men do. He did what he was able to and you suffered for it, child. You do not have to discuss it if you do not wish, but we are here for you to say whatever you will.”
The young woman shook her head, her lips not quite trembling. Her eyes looked dead.
“I knew it was going to happen when I was called. When he called me to his chambers. Part of me wanted to run, to jump off a parapet or something. But I thought that surely they would catch me, and I thought I could endure it.”
“And you did endure it, child” Gertrude said, touching her hand. “Now we will help you live through it.”
“What is your name?” Hilda said as if this was the most important thing in the world.
“Hilary,” said the girl.
“Hilary,” Hilda told her, stay with us until this nightmare is bearable. We will leave a light on for you always.”
MORE TOMORROW




















