Chapter 704 - B
“That, my friend, is a very long story and requires a substantial amount of beer to disclose. He is a close friend who, along with his cousin Rod and friend Lonnie, dance at the CNB for Ladies’ Night and Gay Night. The three of them we refer to as our straight friends. There was a fourth one of that group, Tink, the younger brother of Tyler who lives with us now at the house. He realized he was gay, which the other three thought all along, so it wasn’t a huge surprise to them. All is good, but Rod, Tyler and Lonnie all date three BFF’s that live together. Needless to say, they are all intimate, but Tyler, who I took to Key West with us, decided to stay for the summer. This started a shit storm with the other two and the three BFF’s. I’m not sure if I’m in any danger in that feud or not. I guess I’ll find out soon, as I let Tyler stay. Hell, he’s going to be a huge help to us getting the Grand Victorian refurbished and brought back to its grandeur. He was having girlfriend problems anyway. They were all too close. Seemed like a good idea at the beginning, but it seems like it’s a disaster now,” I explained.
“Yeh, that might be a little too close with everyone knowing everyone else’s business. Relationships are tough things to handle at times. I’m in no hurry to jump into that game just yet. I want to work my tail off first, get firmly established and accomplish a lot of things before even thinking about a relationship with anyone else. It’s easier to just be single and on your own without any entanglements,” Taylor replied, however he didn’t reference a female relationship, leaving me to wonder.
We walked into the men’s store and were greeted by a very professional salesman. He was kind of cute, maybe in his mid to late 20’s, possibly Jordan and Nate’s age. I sized him up pretty good. I didn’t see Taylor checking him out which led me to wonder if he even noticed the guy was sufficiently hot.
“Welcome, gentlemen. You must be in our great coach’s wedding party a little over a week from now,” he said, greeting us. I told him we were and who might we have the pleasure of serving us today. He got a kick out of my response. “My name is Gerald, and I’ll be taking your measurements today to make all you gentlemen as handsome looking as we possibly can. Tuck hasn’t arrived just yet, but I’m sure he will be here shortly. Is there anything else I can interest you gentlemen in today while we’re waiting? We have some nice dress shirts, dress slacks and ties, some nice blazers to wear for fine dining if that catches your interest,” Gerald offered. I smiled.
“I think we’re kind of the shorts and polo shirt crowd really so I guess we’ll pass on the dress clothes, but thanks for offering anyway, Gerry,” I replied. He smiled.
“It’s Gerald if you don’t mind. Gerry is way too informal, and my mother always insisted I be addressed as Gerald,” he informed me.
“Then Gerald it is. Wouldn’t want to upset your mother. How old is she?” I asked just to make conversation.
“Oh, she passed away when I was only ten years old. Dear mum isn’t with us anymore. Just my dad and me anymore, and it’s hard to get him to put clothes on over his old baggy boxer shorts. I bring some nice clothes home for him to wear, but he complains he doesn’t have any place to wear the things I bring him, calling them too hoity-toity, if you know what I mean.” Now I’m thinking to myself, how the hell does he even remember what name his mother insisted he be called. I mean she must have passed years ago. I had a feeling it wasn’t his mother that insisted on the formal name of Gerald when I’m sure his friends, that is if he had any, would probably have called him Gerry. Oh well, it was his name and there was no sense arguing with him for the origin. “Gentlemen, we have a sale on men’s underwear at the moment if I can interest you two in any of the undergarments we usually always put off buying until we desperately need them,” Gerald offered. I asked him what kind he had, naming off some of the skimpy brands which kind of shocked him. “We mostly carry Ralph Lauren, Nautica, the more expensive brands,” he replied.
“The ones I just named are just as expensive,” I told him. He said he wasn’t familiar with those brands. “We’re not talking Fruit of the Loom, or Hanes here, Gerald. We’re talking the kind that lift up your junk and put yourself forward to make you look like a hot dude,” I teased. Gerald had a shocked look on his face. “Do you have any that’s missing the ass end to cool your buns during the summer months?” I asked. Now he did have a shocked look on his face. Taylor was trying to keep from laughing, figuring out that the dude was stuffy and I was giving him my smartass approach.
“I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that kind of design in men’s underwear before. I must have missed that in our catalogs,” Gerald replied.
“Never mind, I have plenty of those that I wear for special occasions. I’m good anyway. I’m sure Taylor has a drawer full also,” I teased. Taylor was trying hard to hold back a smile.
“Yep, I pull those puppies out now and then just to be naughty,” Taylor said, somewhat shocking Gerald, who we were beginning to make nervous with our conversation. Luckily before we put it to him even more, Tuck and Forest showed up.
“Oh, Coach Tuck, so good to see you. We were all just having a lovely conversation while we were waiting for you,” Gerald told Tuck, as Tuck picked me up off my feet and hugged me.
“Oh, Josh, I can’t believe the wedding is just a few days away already. Is my best man getting excited? Josh didn’t give you any trouble, did he?” Tuck asked Gerald, looking at the semi-shocked look on his face.
“No, oh no, we were having a lovely conversation about underwear as a matter of fact,” Gerald replied. Tuck looked at me and shook his head.
“Josh, you did wear underwear today, I hope? He likes to freeball it a lot, so we have to keep our eye on him,” Tuck told Gerald. I thought Taylor and Forest were going to lose it.
“Everything is in place like it should be, Tuck. It’s all good,” I replied, rubbing my crotch. Tuck laughed along with Forest and Taylor. Gerald didn’t get it, but then we didn’t care. We were having fun.
“Well, I have tuxes here for you to try on. Let me just measure each one of you to see what best fits size wise, then you can try them on and we’ll see if we have to alter any of them in any way,” Gerald suggested. “Tuck let me start with you. If you’ll just stand on this pedestal with the three mirrors, we’ll take your measurements. I may have to get a ladder as tall as you are,” Gerald commented, thinking he could be humorous. He was humorous alright, just not our kind of humor.
Tuck stood up on the carpeted pedestal and looked at himself in the mirrors. He had on shorts and a coach polo shirt as did Forest. Forest gave me a hug while Tuck was getting set up. “Anything I should know that you need that might not be standard as far as the pants are concerned?” Gerald asked Tuck.
“Oh, you need plenty of room in his crotch. The guy has a rather large dick and practically bowling ball sized balls,” I teased. Tuck cracked up and had to step off the pedestal.
“Josh, would you behave? You’re killing me here,” Tuck laughingly complained. “I can see this isn’t going to be easy, not with you here,” Tuck added. We all chuckled. Gerald was a mess, trying to figure us out. When Gerald went to measure Tuck’s inseam, I told him to be careful of the big dick and those huge balls, cracking up Tuck once more. Gerald was very nervous taking the inseam measurement.
“By the way, have you shaved those balls lately, Tuck? You want to have them nice and smooth for your wedding night. Don’t want Millie to get pubes in her teeth. That would not be very romantic,” I chided, cracking Tuck up again along with Forest and Taylor.
“No, I was saving that job for you after the bachelor party, Josh. As the best man, I think it only right that you should have to shave my balls for me,” Tuck replied. Gerald was almost in shock.
“I don’t know. I might be a little drunk and damn, it could be dangerous with a razor in my hand near your balls,” I chided.
“Oh, Good Lord,” Gerald said, stepping away from Tuck. “You gentlemen are quite the characters,” he stated. Tuck told him he didn’t know the half of it, after having me as his little brother in the frat. Gerald said he couldn’t imagine what that must have been like. Gerald looked at me as he got ready to measure Tuck’s waist, as if to say is there anything I need to be aware of here.
“Hey, there’s more than a handful there in his crotch, Gerald. Be careful as you don’t need to wake up Hector,” I teased. Tuck shook his head, cracking up as he lifted his arms for Gerald to measure his waist then chest.
“What’s Hector?” Gerald asked cautiously.
“Inside joke. It’s not important. Josh, would you be good so we can get through this please,” Tuck almost begged.
‘Yeh, what’s this Hector thing?” Taylor asked.
“Don’t ask. It’s an inside joke between Josh and me. He’s getting a little carried away this afternoon,” Tuck replied, shaking his head at me. Gerald finished measuring Tuck, who was greatly relieved he was finished before I embarrassed him even further.