The customer is always right, NOT?

[fabulouslyghetto]

(this is a generalization of questions I'd get all the time @ the bookstore)

Customer: Hey, do you have that book by that one guy who was on Oprah?

Me: Umm, do you remember what the book was about? The author's last name? First name?

Customer: No, but it was written by that one guy.

Me: You sure you don't remember his name?

Customer: No, you work in a bookstore, shouldn't you know this kind of thing?!

Me: Do you remember WHEN he was on Oprah?

Customer: A few years ago. Oh, and it had a red cover!

*thinking to self*

Oh, a red cover? Okay, great, cuz there aren't hundreds of books that have red covers.

 

[justsimon]

(this is a generalization of questions I'd get all the time @ the bookstore)

Customer: Hey, do you have that book by that one guy who was on Oprah?

Me: Umm, do you remember what the book was about? The author's last name? First name?

Customer: No, but it was written by that one guy.

Me: You sure you don't remember his name?

Customer: No, you work in a bookstore, shouldn't you know this kind of thing?!

Me: Do you remember WHEN he was on Oprah?

Customer: A few years ago. Oh, and it had a red cover!

*thinking to self*

Oh, a red cover? Okay, great, cuz there aren't hundreds of books that have red covers.

I used to hear that all the time.

 

[josher]

P. T. Barnam said you could never lose money by underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Pretty much true everywhere in the world.

 

[theFallenGod]

This site is on my daily checking list.. I love this site.

 

[TickTockMan]

Insert Butt Crack Here
pharmacy | Philadelphia, PA, USA

Customer: “Hi, I’m having a problem with my suppositories. They’re not working at all!”

Me: “Okay, let me get the pharmacist for you so he can help you.”

(The customer decides to just yell the same question over two counters to the pharmacist in front of at least 10 other people.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like to come over to our consultation are so we can talk about this privately?”

Customer: “No, I just want to know why my suppositories aren’t working!”

Pharmacist: “Well, okay. Are they melting before you insert them?”

Customer: “No, nothing like that!”

Pharmacist: “Are they breaking up into pieces before you use them?”

Customer: “No, no, nothing like that! They’re all in one piece and the same shape and all that stuff! I know how to follow the d*** directions!”

Pharmacist: “Are parts of the foil wrapper sticking to it at all?”

Customer: “What wrapper?!”

(Note: the suppository wrappers are aluminum foil with sharp edges. Ouch.)

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

this was on page 3 of the site and racist as hell Homeland Insecurity
Electronics Store | Santa Cruz, CA, USA

(I’m ringing up a man who is buying a new laptop.)

Customer: “So, what are your ethnicities?”

(This question didn’t strike me as odd, as people have wondered in the past.)

Me: “Half European and half Middle Eastern.”

Customer: “Oh, so like one of those terrorists…. just watered-down.”

Me: “Oh, I’m not watered-down, sir.” *holds out his receipt, smirking*

(The customer looks a bit freaked, grabs his receipt and takes off quickly with his stuff–except for his credit card.)

 

[gdude30]

LOL. Funny stories.

We have some dumbass customers at my work alot of the times. But sometimes they aren't funny and try to rip us off. It's when thing when a customer acts retarded and you have to guide them towards the right direction without telling them they are wrong.

But it's another when they try to steal something from the store and fight that they are right when they are wrong just because they are lazy hoes who don't feel like paying.

Those are the customers. That truly aren't right.

 

[TickTockMan]

It’s What’s For Dinner
Fast Food | Stanwood, WA, USA

Coworker: Welcome to [fast food burger joint], what’s your beef?

Customer: “I ain’t got a beef, you got the beef. What’s YOUR beef?”

Coworker: “I got the good beef. You want some beef?”

Customer: ”Yes, I want some beef, you gonna bring it?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I’ll bring it, you payin’?”

Customer: ”Course I’m payin’, you makin’?”

Coworker: ”Yes we’re makin’.”

Customer: ”Good, how much?”

Coworker: ”You have to order first, sir.”

Customer: “Oh yeah…”

 

[giorgiobaby]

I lived in Florida for several years and worked on South Beach near Ocean Blvd. I would get this several times a day, week, month.
Dumb Tourist: Where's the Birdcage?
Me: That's just a movie, the Birdcage doesn't actually exist. The hotel they filmed it in is on Ocean and 14th st.
Dumb Tourist: Yes it does exist, Robin Williams was in it and its on Ocean blvd.
Me: I'm sorry sir/ma'm, it was a fictitous movie and the Birdcage is not a real club
Dumb Tourist: I've seen the movie, I know it's there.......

On and on usually, too stupid to realize it's actually a remake of the French movie La Cage au Follieux(spelling?)

 

[Paws]

[...]
Coworker: *slowly turns the frame on it’s side*

Customer: “Oh, wow!”

Depends if there's a possibility to hang it to the wall that way.

 

[treanir]

Well, thanks Corny. Now I have yet *another* way to procrastinate.

 

[pinolian]

Just love these stories!
I used to manage a dvd stroe a few years ago, When the movie Titanic came out to the theatre a customer comes into the store the same day and wanted his copy of Titanic right then. He told me to just go into the back room and print him out his copy.......Go figure

 

[Yooper]

Four Words: Bow, Chicka, Bow and Bow
ELECTRONICS STORE | USA
(Working as a manager for a retail electronics business, I have a customer come in with a DVD player in a box, opened)

Customer: “This DVD player doesn’t work. It won’t play my DVDs. Can I get an exchange?”

Me: “Well, lets see if we can get it to work.”

(I take the DVD player over to the AV wall and quickly hook it up to our system. Under 30 seconds to do so, the customer in tow)

Me: “Oh, here’s the problem. It seems that the disc somehow ended up upside down in the DVD player.”

(I flip the DVD over without even looking at the disc or anything and push it back in, turning back to the customer)

Customer: “Oh great! I knew something wasn’t quite ri…”

(Suddenly, coming up on all my TVs, blaring through the sound system that is usually playing a music DVD, comes blasting ‘Bow Chicka-Bow Bow!’ and a rather grotesque scene of cheesy porn. I think it is the fastest I have ever moved, because by the time the first customer turned around to see what was going on, I had the AV cables yanked)

Customer: “Uh… That’s where that went! Heh…” *VERY sheepish look*

Me: “Okay, all fixed. Need me to help put this back in the box for you?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I can do it. Thank you for all your help.”

(I guess I wasn’t quick enough or just the sheer recognition of the music line, because I had two customers laughing very hard and one old lady who walked out very fast)

 

[TickTockMan]

(While standing in line for the bathroom at a resort, I overhear two young boys talking.)

Boy 1: “Why are the lines for the girl’s bathroom always longer? Is it because the boy’s bathroom has that special sink?”

Boy 2: “You mean the urinal?”

Boy 1: “Yeah. ‘Cause you can fit like five guys around it.”

Boy 2: “Or, if they’re skinny, you can fit seven or eight.”

Boy 1: “And if they’re FAT you can only fit two.”

 

[giorgiobaby]

(While standing in line for the bathroom at a resort, I overhear two young boys talking.)

Boy 1: “Why are the lines for the girl’s bathroom always longer? Is it because the boy’s bathroom has that special sink?”

Boy 2: “You mean the urinal?”

Boy 1: “Yeah. ‘Cause you can fit like five guys around it.”

Boy 2: “Or, if they’re skinny, you can fit seven or eight.”

Boy 1: “And if they’re FAT you can only fit two.”

what the hell kind of bathrooms were these boys use to?

 

[TickTockMan]

what the hell kind of bathrooms were these boys use to?

I don't know, but it sounds like they had fun.