Wow, every time I see more trailer for The Day the Earth Stood Still it looks stupider. That's quite in addition to the fact that Keanu Reeves is no Michael Rennie.
Looks kinda like the original crossed with Independence Day. This is like crossing a thoroughbred horse with a nematode, but it's apparently the only way to update the movie for today's special-effects-obsessed audiences.
Why can't they leave the classics ALONE?!?! Stupid assholes.
I mean, what's next, Casablanca with Keanu as Rick and Reese Witherspoon (but There Is No Spoon To Wither) as Inga? Will the Marseillaise scene become a full-scale riot with much gunfire and bloodshed? Will Matthew Lillard (as Victor Laszlo) have to drag himself bleeding to the plane to Lisbon, after having used Hollywood Tae Kwon Krav Majitsu to kill the 45 Nazis who were trying to take him prisoner?
No doubt a spectacular air battle will ensue, during which the plane will lose both wings and its tail, but somehow continue to fly (but only for 42 seconds, shown on a countdown clock), and Keanu will string a wire between it and another nearby plane, and tightrope-walk to it, carrying Matthew and Reese in his arms, getting there 10 minutes later at second 41, after which the original plane will plunge to Earth with much fire and explosion.
But there will be Nazi sleeper agents aboard the new plane! They kill the pilot and copilot and take control of the plane (perhaps yelling at each other in Arabic while they do)! It's going to Berlin O noes! Keanu and Matthew must outwit them and get the plane back on course to Lisbon, with much gory fighting, including a fistfight on the wing of the speeding plane, where Keanu finally knocks one of the Nazis into the propeller, getting spattered with Aryan blood in the process. The other one gets the drop on Keanu, but Reese blows his brains out from behind with a gun she could not possibly have had in any preceding scene, or found on the plane.
Keanu parachutes into Paris to join the resistance, Reese and Matthew fly on to Lisbon, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Until, that is, the aliens destroy Paris, Lisbon, Casablanca, and Berlin with their super-destructive Destruckto-rays™.
Looks kinda like the original crossed with Independence Day. This is like crossing a thoroughbred horse with a nematode, but it's apparently the only way to update the movie for today's special-effects-obsessed audiences.
Why can't they leave the classics ALONE?!?! Stupid assholes.
I mean, what's next, Casablanca with Keanu as Rick and Reese Witherspoon (but There Is No Spoon To Wither) as Inga? Will the Marseillaise scene become a full-scale riot with much gunfire and bloodshed? Will Matthew Lillard (as Victor Laszlo) have to drag himself bleeding to the plane to Lisbon, after having used Hollywood Tae Kwon Krav Majitsu to kill the 45 Nazis who were trying to take him prisoner?
No doubt a spectacular air battle will ensue, during which the plane will lose both wings and its tail, but somehow continue to fly (but only for 42 seconds, shown on a countdown clock), and Keanu will string a wire between it and another nearby plane, and tightrope-walk to it, carrying Matthew and Reese in his arms, getting there 10 minutes later at second 41, after which the original plane will plunge to Earth with much fire and explosion.
But there will be Nazi sleeper agents aboard the new plane! They kill the pilot and copilot and take control of the plane (perhaps yelling at each other in Arabic while they do)! It's going to Berlin O noes! Keanu and Matthew must outwit them and get the plane back on course to Lisbon, with much gory fighting, including a fistfight on the wing of the speeding plane, where Keanu finally knocks one of the Nazis into the propeller, getting spattered with Aryan blood in the process. The other one gets the drop on Keanu, but Reese blows his brains out from behind with a gun she could not possibly have had in any preceding scene, or found on the plane.
Keanu parachutes into Paris to join the resistance, Reese and Matthew fly on to Lisbon, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Until, that is, the aliens destroy Paris, Lisbon, Casablanca, and Berlin with their super-destructive Destruckto-rays™.
