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the "Father looking for a son" relationship?

ZonerTC

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What exactly is this about, and vice versa? I see a lot of people looking for 'dads' and 'sons' but I was never sure exactly what that was, or what it entailed. Can anyone explain this to a very confused person.

:help:
 
^ Well, there's more to it than that. Generally, the "daddy and son" thing works like this. The son TENDS to be younger, smaller and trimmer than the dad. The dad takes an authorative role, often pressing the son to improve his appearance, correct bad habits (real and imagined), and "become more of a man". The son looks up to the dad, attempts to please him, and thanks him for his guidance - usually by performing a submissive role sexually. There may or may not be an element of S&M and/or humiliation involved as well.

The "daddy and son" is somewhat like the classic Greek form of homosexuality. The elder male, who had made his way in the world, was the "erastes" (lover), and he took a youth (an adolescent or very young adult male) as his "eromenos" (beloved). The adult would teach the youth the finer points of becoming a civilized male, and the youth would repay him sexually, during which encounters supposedly only the adult would find gratification.

Lex
 
I think that the whole thing is just twisted. I want someone who is looking for a friend, and my equal, not my dad type or my son type. I feel that this type of sexual interpretation is mostly perverse, being as it implies sexual relations between father and son, even if in acting.
 
There's flexibility in every type of categorization.

Some times the Daddy/Son thing is only in the bedroom; otherwise they are equals in day-to-day life. It varies.
 
may december is already a little sketchy but im willing to accept it as peoples preferences. but father/son is disgusting. dont you already have a father? no, he was absent or abusive. ok, go to therapy!
 
>>>I think that the whole thing is just twisted. I want someone who is looking for a friend, and my equal, not my dad type or my son type.

Well, yeah, that's what YOU want. That's not what THEY want. And I'm cool with that. To me, it no more means they really want to bang their father/son than furries really want to bang animals. It's just what turns them on. So be it.

And yes, most relationships with an age difference are NOT of the "daddy/son" variety. But in those cases, the ad would read "40-something seeks 20-something", not "daddy seeks son".

Lex
 
>>>I think that the whole thing is just twisted. I want someone who is looking for a friend, and my equal, not my dad type or my son type.

Well, yeah, that's what YOU want. That's not what THEY want. And I'm cool with that. To me, it no more means they really want to bang their father/son than furries really want to bang animals. It's just what turns them on. So be it.

And yes, most relationships with an age difference are NOT of the "daddy/son" variety. But in those cases, the ad would read "40-something seeks 20-something", not "daddy seeks son".

Lex

Very good point Lex.

To each his own has been one of the major keyes of understanding human sexuality.

I have made it a habit to think long and to think very hard before using the words like 'perverse' or 'disgusting', when it comes to human sexuality, as these are nothing else but my personal views of very little relevance to the others.

Father/Son relationships have been with us for many thousands of years. No doubt, they are not everyone's cup of tea. (But what would really be precisely, 'everyone's cup of tea?', when it comes to a matter as complex as human sexuality?) For some guys, such relationships have been very beneficial and for the others, rather destructive and demoralizing.

Before you discard the model, consider the fact that many young men grew up without the father figures, and that some of them feel very insecure in the world that surrounds them for a variety of reasons, one of them being the absence of the father figure. Equally so, many young men stand pretty much left to their own devices in a possibly unfriendly environment at the very beginning of their adulthood. Some of them have no problems in trying to conquer the world around them and become great survivers. The others need a guiding hand, support of social networks and very often, direct financial or material help, too.

There are guys out there, whom we all ought to applaud to, because everything they have achieved is nothing but the product of their wits and their own very hard work. I have nothing but respect and admiration for these guys.

However, there are other guys, who see it all differently. They believe that they can get much further and much faster, if they catch a ride, so to speak. More often than not, they are right, too.

SC
 
I think that the whole thing is just twisted. I want someone who is looking for a friend, and my equal, not my dad type or my son type. I feel that this type of sexual interpretation is mostly perverse, being as it implies sexual relations between father and son, even if in acting.

Well, you just sit down in a nice quiet place and analyze why you look for a particular type or age group. Then get back to us.
 
The age difference between me and my partner is about 20 years. We never even mention "dad" and "son." I wouldn't even know how to go about entering into one of those "hey dad" "hey son" conversations. There are some clear differences between me and my partner due to age, but if I didn't think he were my "equal" in some very important ways, I wouldn't be with him.

Plus, he tells me I'm hot, and I think he's hot, so that's all good.
 
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