The gay or straight debate. My thoughts on it.

[nightmareman]

I see a lot of posts here where people say bi guys are actually gay, but don't wanna admit it. That is very true in some cases, but not that easy. Even women if they find out their B/F was with a guy they think he's gay, but again not that easy. I never understood how being bi meant being gay. I'm very blunt about things and I'm not gonna hold back.

I think we all might have one sex we prefer over the other, but that doesn't mean we can't like both. I've had feelings for women that were very deep that go beyond sexual. This girl I'm into right now is like that. I really like this chick and don't think of her in a sexual way. I mean I do, but what I'm saying is I really like her and its not just I wanna hook up if you get my meaning. Id like to LOL. But I am interested in her as a person not just some girl I wanna fuck.

I've never felt that for a guy, but that doesn't mean I can't. I had this one sort of friend. We weren't really friends, but would chill every so often, and I was into him, but only in a sexual way. Nothing happened, but I won't lie when I would chill with him my only thought was wow I'd like to blow you right now. He was cool, but kinda selfish and uncaring and that's the main reason I could never get deeper feelings for him.

When it comes to sexuality. I'm sure people here have been in love right? And assuming it ended does that mean you can't ever fall in love again? No that would be a silly thought right? And that's how I feel about sexuality. Why not both?

That guy I brought up. Lets say I did blow him. By sucking his dick and the a week later I get with a girl I'm not gay, but not staight either.

I only met one guy I sort of clicked with, but it didn't work. He had problems with women, and yes there's a point with that. But he couldn't accept I liked women at all. He was very whiney about that, but was also dominant, whcih is good since I'm laid back. Same with women. Too dominant is no good, but I prefer that since I'm such a calm person.

Me and this guy never fully clicked because of his problem with me liking women. His thought was well suppose down the road you meet some girl how do I know you won't leave me for her. So I said straight out. If I'm willing to suck you off a guy how do you know I won't leave you for another guy? He had no answer for that one, but it seemed that if I did it would be ok, but if it was a girl it wouldn't be.

Point of it all. I told him listen if we get together we are together simple as that. I won't cheat at all. Not with a man and not with a woman. I hate cheaters so I'm not gonna be a hypocrite about it. As long as we are together I won't think of being with a woman.

Does that mean I won't look at a women? Or have any thoughts? Of course not. But I have self control and I can control my impuleses. But I can't just say I'll never look at a woman ever again. His loss not mine since I would have been faithful to him. I couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear since it would be a lie.

Had I got with him I wouldn't be with a girl. If we never broke up than I guess in a way you can say I'd live my life as a gay man.

But that girl I brought up earlier if I did get with her I'd never be with a guy or another girl for that matter unless we broke up.

So if I can develope feelings for both its clear I like both sexes. I don't know why people both men and women have problems accepting it.

Just my thoughts. Anyone wanna add or have any questions I'll answer

 

[nightmareman]

It just bothers me when people say you can't like both. I mean like I said if you can fall in love more than once you can like both sexes.

We don't know what the future holds. When it comes to a LTR odds are it would be with a girl. But if I also like guys whose to say I won't get into a serious relationship with a guy?

There was that one guy, I brought up and I did like him and would have commited to him. So it is possible.

I don't say to myself I can only get with only girls or guys. Who knows maybe I'll never meet a girl I click with I'll only get with guys or it could go the other way.

Thanks for the response

 

[AngelFromAbove]

I consider myself "metrosexual" if you have to label it. You can't help who you are attracted too.

Is this a new usage for metrosexual? Last I heard, it had nothing to do with sexuality, but the style of dress.

 

[Caaake]

^ yea!. *confused* so, levistjames, you're hetero? Metrosexual means you dress and care about your appearance like the stereotypical homosexual but is heterosexual.

 

[hermanding]

for those that are bi, would you say - that at some times you might prefer guys a little bit over girls, and at another time, the reverse - but at all times - able to enjoy both - i hope what i am getting at makes sense
ding

 

[nightmareman]

for those that are bi, would you say - that at some times you might prefer guys a little bit over girls, and at another time, the reverse - but at all times - able to enjoy both - i hope what i am getting at makes sense
ding

Well I cannot speak for all, but only myself. But what you said does strike true with me. While I might like both, there are times where I'm only into women and don't really think about guys at all.

But there are times where I mainly only think about guys and have no interest in women.

I do however have one I might prefer more overall than the other, but yeah there are times I might only be into one more than the other. But some people might question someone like me in being comitted, but I can be faithful to someone and if that happens to be a guy I'd be done with women as long as we are together and never act on any impulse and if it was a girl I was with it would be the same way.

But interesting you brought that up since right now I'm more into guys right now.

So I guess I could settle down with either a man or woman depening on who comes around and if its the right time. My luck I'd meet the perfect guy and girl LOL

 

[sumyungguy]

Dude... YOU'RE SO NOT ALONE!!!! I'm currently in the same situation, and it's not easy for most people to understand anyway, so I just let people make their own judgements or whatever and live my life. All people, no matter what their orientation can think what they want, but truthfully, sexuality is very complex and it's just something that can't be completely explained. You have these feelings or urges for whatever reason and you act on them and people want to all of a sudden label you when the label doesn't interpret who you truly are, and most importantly, what you want to be known as. I think its complete bullshit-_-. Still they have the right to think what they want, even though you know it's not true.

for those that are bi, would you say - that at some times you might prefer guys a little bit over girls, and at another time, the reverse - but at all times - able to enjoy both - i hope what i am getting at makes sense
ding

Not going to lie, most times I think about guys, but mostly it's sexual and non committal. For me at least, I don't think about a romantic relationship with a guy. I do think more romantically being with a girl and the romance does include sex (for me), but on a more meaningful level. I do think about certain girls erotically too especially at the moment I look at them, but I must admit I do think about guys alot too. I think that even though I think more about guys, that doesn't mean I'm "completely" gay cause I still have sexual desire for women as well. When it comes to preference, it depends on what I feel like at that moment. If I want a relationship with either or it will be with either or, although at the moment I haven't engaged in a romantic relationship with a guy as of yet.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I think it's largely un-understandable by the man in the street because they have had no contact with it.

Gay pops up everywhere now - there are plenty of gay characters on tv in non-gay shows, there are plenty of gay people in prominent positions. There aren't too many people who are bi that everyone knows about. I think that if it were to become more commonplace, the understanding would be come with it.

Perhaps it might even filter down to our gay brethren in here

-d-

 

[Rex]

I can understand why some gay guys would want to identify as bi but I don't think that's the case with me.


I like men and I like women. That's just the way it is. I will always be this way. I can settle down with someone eventually but that doesn't mean the feelings will just stop. You like what you like.

 

[HornyBiGuy]

post deleted.

 

[Reprobate]

I have no idea what I am, I thought I was gay as a kid, then got married and thought I was straight. Marriage went off the rails so to speak and recently had my first experiences (only two guys, at different times) and now I have no idea what in the hell I am. Love looking at women but right now it is men I can't get out of my mind.

My problem is meeting the right guy. It is so difficult to meet the right people in a military town of 10,000 people.

 

[sumyungguy]

I think it's largely un-understandable by the man in the street because they have had no contact with it.

Gay pops up everywhere now - there are plenty of gay characters on tv in non-gay shows, there are plenty of gay people in prominent positions. There aren't too many people who are bi that everyone knows about. I think that if it were to become more commonplace, the understanding would be come with it.

Perhaps it might even filter down to our gay brethren in here

-d-

I think your right

 

[bullwing413]

So nigthmareman, why can't you be "in love"with more than one person at a time? Then what happens? Who would want to fall in love with someone who says we're loers until I fall in love with someone else? I'm yours until someone better comes along? Do you have to keep all but one of your loves platonic? I understand committment and monogamy, but in the end isn't monogamy just a committment to not share your physical sexual intimacy with anyone else but the man or woman you're with? In short, why can't you be in love with more than one person but monogamus as well?

 

[luckyass69]

Why must it be so Black and white for men? I do not understand the double standard. if a guy say's his bi why dose he have to be in denial of his sexuality? If a guy want's to experiment why dose he automatically be gay?

a girl try's to experiment she's an awsome girl. everyone has a blast!

 

[nightmareman]

Yo luckyass. I think the difference is in society there is that double standard. A chick with another chick is hot, but two guys is disgusting (NOT my feelings so hope nobody takes that wrong).

Sort of like you are a fag. Its a term meant to make you less of a man and sadly that's how gay guys are seen.

 

[nightmareman]

So nigthmareman, why can't you be "in love"with more than one person at a time? Then what happens? Who would want to fall in love with someone who says we're loers until I fall in love with someone else? I'm yours until someone better comes along? Do you have to keep all but one of your loves platonic? I understand committment and monogamy, but in the end isn't monogamy just a committment to not share your physical sexual intimacy with anyone else but the man or woman you're with? In short, why can't you be in love with more than one person but monogamus as well?

Well it is possible to be in love with more than one person. My whole point was simply if you are in love its more than possible to be in love again it doesn't have to be one person and same with sexuality. its possible to like both and not be in denial.

Like I said in my post I firmly believe some people are in denial. But I can only speak for myself and say with me that's not the case. Though for me personally if I'm with someone I only wanna be with that person.

But I do think for others what you bring up is fine. Right now there are two people I'm sort of into, but if I had a choice it would be one and not both

 

[cklover]

I consider myself bi because I like women and men. I have emotional feelings for women and also for transexual women. With men though it's mainly just sexual feelings that I have. I would rather have sex with a man than with a woman. I love the feel of a man's body and and I especially love to feel a cock in me whether it's orally or anally. I don't like kissing men though and I don't think I could be in an LTR with a man.

Now contrast this with a woman. I always for a deep emotional attachment with a woman. I like looking at women and I like kissing women. I like having sex with women, but not as much as I like sex with men. I could see myself in an LTR with a woman.

I also like transexual women very much. I form a deep emotional attachment with them. I love looking at them. I love kissing transexual women. I also love everything physical about transexual women. When I have sex with a transexual woman I am versatile. I like to top, but I have no problem whatsoever being a bottom. I would love to be in an LTR with a transexual woman.

 

[bulge]

Most guys I have(had) sex with identify(identified) as str8. So, whether self-confessed as bi, str8 or gay is totally irrelevant and indifferent.

 

[JustMe891]

I see a lot of posts here where people say bi guys are actually gay, but don't wanna admit it. That is very true in some cases, but not that easy. Even women if they find out their B/F was with a guy they think he's gay, but again not that easy. I never understood how being bi meant being gay. I'm very blunt about things and I'm not gonna hold back.

I think we all might have one sex we prefer over the other, but that doesn't mean we can't like both. I've had feelings for women that were very deep that go beyond sexual. This girl I'm into right now is like that. I really like this chick and don't think of her in a sexual way. I mean I do, but what I'm saying is I really like her and its not just I wanna hook up if you get my meaning. Id like to LOL. But I am interested in her as a person not just some girl I wanna fuck.

I've never felt that for a guy, but that doesn't mean I can't. I had this one sort of friend. We weren't really friends, but would chill every so often, and I was into him, but only in a sexual way. Nothing happened, but I won't lie when I would chill with him my only thought was wow I'd like to blow you right now. He was cool, but kinda selfish and uncaring and that's the main reason I could never get deeper feelings for him.

When it comes to sexuality. I'm sure people here have been in love right? And assuming it ended does that mean you can't ever fall in love again? No that would be a silly thought right? And that's how I feel about sexuality. Why not both?

That guy I brought up. Lets say I did blow him. By sucking his dick and the a week later I get with a girl I'm not gay, but not staight either.

I only met one guy I sort of clicked with, but it didn't work. He had problems with women, and yes there's a point with that. But he couldn't accept I liked women at all. He was very whiney about that, but was also dominant, whcih is good since I'm laid back. Same with women. Too dominant is no good, but I prefer that since I'm such a calm person.

Me and this guy never fully clicked because of his problem with me liking women. His thought was well suppose down the road you meet some girl how do I know you won't leave me for her. So I said straight out. If I'm willing to suck you off a guy how do you know I won't leave you for another guy? He had no answer for that one, but it seemed that if I did it would be ok, but if it was a girl it wouldn't be.

Point of it all. I told him listen if we get together we are together simple as that. I won't cheat at all. Not with a man and not with a woman. I hate cheaters so I'm not gonna be a hypocrite about it. As long as we are together I won't think of being with a woman.

Does that mean I won't look at a women? Or have any thoughts? Of course not. But I have self control and I can control my impuleses. But I can't just say I'll never look at a woman ever again. His loss not mine since I would have been faithful to him. I couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear since it would be a lie.

Had I got with him I wouldn't be with a girl. If we never broke up than I guess in a way you can say I'd live my life as a gay man.

But that girl I brought up earlier if I did get with her I'd never be with a guy or another girl for that matter unless we broke up.

So if I can develope feelings for both its clear I like both sexes. I don't know why people both men and women have problems accepting it.

Just my thoughts. Anyone wanna add or have any questions I'll answer

Yeah, always a strange one this, I've had guys who insisted they were straight and prefered women but still came back for more, personally I think these guys are bi but some swing towards being fully gay if you can understand that.

 

[nightmareman]

Yeah, always a strange one this, I've had guys who insisted they were straight and prefered women but still came back for more, personally I think these guys are bi but some swing towards being fully gay if you can understand that.

I totally understand. That's why I said in some cases the guys are indeed gay, but aren't comfortable with coming out or family and or friends won't accept. The one thing I can say for myself is if I were gay 99% if not 100% of the people I cared about wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

But it just bothers me when people insist you cannot like both and are really gay. Like I said I cannot speak for other guys or girls for that matter.

But I like women way too much to be only gay, but I also like enough enough to know I'm not fully straight either. As far as deeper feelings I've never had to deep of a feeling for guys where as with girls it goes beyond just sex. There is this girl I'm really into, but I really like her and want to get to know her and don't just see her as some chick I wanna have sex with.

So far I never got that feeling for a guy. But its possible. I wont rule anything out