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the guy on msn

H

hhoiffk2004

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ok so i have this guy's email address on msn. he gave the email to me coz i saw his account from a gay dating site. we do chat a ccouple of times. we both have cams so the first time i talked to him, i already saw what he looked like and told him he was cute and hot. lol! but he didnt say anything back about me so i thought maybe hes not interested, maybe he just wants to be friends.

anyway, weve been talking a couple times a week and i start to bond with him and kinda get close to each other. i found out hes a nice guy with a nice personality and i thought that maybe he can be a real good friend. eventually, weve been "hinting" to each other that we wanna meet up in person so we decided to meet up. however, he said he couldnt make it coz he has other stuff to do (even if we do meet up i think it will just be a friendly date). so i went online the next few days after that and he was there. we were talking again and he said hes just a really busy person (he said being busy is one of the reasons why he ended his past relationships).

one night we were both online talking about stuff and eventually we were talking about sex. i was horny and so was him. i was hinting that i want to play with him and so was he, so we decided to meet up the next day. i was actually shocked that he wants to meet me coz i thought all along that he wasnt interested in me. anyway, the next day he messaged me saying he had to do other stuff again so he couldnt make it.

i havent spoken to him for a couple of days online after that. so i messaged him but he hasnt replied.

now my question is that is he interested in me or not?? is he interested but is just a busy person or he just not interested at all?? im asking people about this because i feel something for him not just sexually. hes a nice guy and i really think we could get along. i really like him but i dont kbnow if he likes me. i really wanna get to know him even at least as a friend. what do i do?? i dont really wanna message him all the time and think that im desperate about his answer although i kinda am desperate. what should i do??any suggestions??
 
He chickened out and is probably hoping you just forget about him. I'd say move on.
 
gabriel1 said:
He chickened out and is probably hoping you just forget about him. I'd say move on.
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move on? we have been talking to each other online as if ive known him for a long time. do u really think hes just gonna throw that away??if thats the way he is, well, he really hurt me then.
 
i dont think hes trying to avoid me otherwise hes already blocked me off his account on msn.
 
It sounds like he's happy with the relationship just the way it is. He likes talking to you, and perhaps some camming when he's up for it. His actions seem to indicate that he's uninterested or unwilling to move the relationship beyond that. I'd say it's up to you whether you're satisfied with the way things are now, or you want to press the issue.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
It sounds like he's happy with the relationship just the way it is. He likes talking to you, and perhaps some camming when he's up for it. His actions seem to indicate that he's uninterested or unwilling to move the relationship beyond that. I'd say it's up to you whether you're satisfied with the way things are now, or you want to press the issue.

Lex
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i was actually happy and contented that we are just friends until he hinted to me that he wanted to meet up and go out. we have been talking before and he just doesnt want sex, he doenst mind being in a relationship as well and so do i. (when i said camming, i didnt mean cybersex. its just a friendly face-to-face camming. lol!)

i was happy just the way it was until suddenly he wanted to meet up. i understand hes a very busy person (which is his problem) if he just wants to be friends, why would he say that to me??i thought before that maybe hes just making up excuses not to meet up with me. but the thing is, im not asking him out, hes the one asking me out, twice! but it was both cancelled. i told him before that if hes really not interested and he just wants to be friends, he can tell me and doesnt need to make excuses up, but he said hes not making excuses and hes totally up for it hes just really busy. am i just being impatient coz im scared to lose him or what?? rite now i need someone especially now at my saddest moments when i often feel alone and hes the guy that i want to be with when i feel alone. so what do u guys think??is there something wrong with me or is it him??
 
OK, when he cancels, does he just say "Wow, I'm really busy"? Or does he attempt to reschedule, even in a perfunctory manner? Something like "Things look like they should start easing up early next week. Maybe we could meet up sometime then." If not, I'd say he's chickening out.

As far as "needing someone", I wouldn't look to this guy. Even if you do meet up, if he's as busy as he says, you can't count on him to "be there for you" when you feel alone. I'm not saying dump him, but don't stop looking for someone else. Get out there, and keep meeting people.

Lex
 
It sounds like he's scared and unusure about meeting face to face with someone he talks to on the internet.

It's understandable. I know I would be shy about meeting in person with someone I met online. I would just keep things the way they are for now.
 
G-Lexington said:
OK, when he cancels, does he just say "Wow, I'm really busy"? Or does he attempt to reschedule, even in a perfunctory manner? Something like "Things look like they should start easing up early next week. Maybe we could meet up sometime then." If not, I'd say he's chickening out.

As far as "needing someone", I wouldn't look to this guy. Even if you do meet up, if he's as busy as he says, you can't count on him to "be there for you" when you feel alone. I'm not saying dump him, but don't stop looking for someone else. Get out there, and keep meeting people.

Lex
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the thing is everytime he asks me out he always says that hes "not sure if hes definitely coming". he says that he "will message me" if he cant come on that day which he always does anyway.

the last time he planned to meet up the next day which was on a wednesday. that day he messaged me and said that he couldnt come because he had alot of stuff to do (its a personal thing i cant tell sorry). he rescheduled it and asked if i "was available on the weekend". i messaged him back and said that "i will message u if im not doin anything on the weekend"

the thing is i didnt message him on the weekend coz i had stuff to do and thinking maybe hes also busy (as usual) so we didnt meet up on the weekend. what i did was i messaged him the next wednesday i said "just messaged me if u have spare time so we can meet up" he didnt reply to that. he such a busy person and its not just stupid excuses, he has reasonable explanations to it and before he plans it, he always tells me that its just a plan and that he will message me if hes not coming. so is it my fault for getting my hopes up coz i like him?? after all, hes not aactually confirming that hes coming. its just a plan.

i should understand him coz my friends do that to me too. they plan something but they dont come.

i think im just being a little impatient coz i really like him. what do u guys think??
 
Tizinsane said:
It sounds like he's scared and unusure about meeting face to face with someone he talks to on the internet.

It's understandable. I know I would be shy about meeting in person with someone I met online. I would just keep things the way they are for now.
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hes been meeting people online. like i said i feel as if weve gotten really close as if weve seen each other in person already. we have talked about our lives to each other and i told him some of my problems as well which i dont usually tell random strangers.
 
i guess im just a person who will reply to text messages as soon as i get it and im just expecting that hes like that as well. as u guys can see, i have proven it here because i have replied to everyone that posted in this thread so far. lol!!
 
Why not ask him for a date and time that you definitely - not possibly, not "unless something comes up", but definitely - can meet with you? It doesn't have to be this week or next, but whenever it is, set it in stone. If he can't do that, well, I honestly don't see this as being much of a priority for him at all.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
Why not ask him for a date and time that you definitely - not possibly, not "unless something comes up", but definitely - can meet with you? It doesn't have to be this week or next, but whenever it is, set it in stone. If he can't do that, well, I honestly don't see this as being much of a priority for him at all.

Lex
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i understand he cannot prioritise me. he told me before that he cant prioritise his past relationships first because of his personal stuff which ended those relationships. so i shouldnt be expecting him to prioritise a person he just talks to over the internet. i feel as if im expecting too much from him. wel i guess its his fault he made me expect for something right??
 
Hey, you can put the blame anywhere you want to. But if he has told you in the past that you can't be a priority, it seems pointless to expect otherwise from him.

This really does appear to be an utter dead end as far as a true "relationship" goes. Keep him as an occasional online bud, and go out and find yourself somebody who actually wants to meet up with you. :)

Lex
 
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