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The Impotence of being Earnest.

I think that's where Ernest's mind is, too! LOL

Great Writing, Nick. You got my PM.
 
Thanks to those of you who have rated my story. It was so nice to log on and see five shiny stars alongside the story title!
:gogirl::gogirl::gogirl::gogirl:
 
Yay, Team!
I knew we could do it.

Thanks to everyone -- especially you, Jobbio!

:wave: :=D: (*8*) (UU) :king:
 
Chapter 13- What The Fuck?!

“What the fuck?” I yelped as I sat up. “What are you doing?” I shouted at Matt.

“Whoa! Calm down, Ernie.”

“Calm down? Calm fucking down? I’ve just woken up with your hand on my dick!”

“Yeah, and you had yours on mine!” he retaliated.

Shit, he had a point.

“What happened?” I said slightly more calmly than I felt.

“I dunno, Ernie. I was sleeping and felt you stroking me so I reciprocated. I assumed that, seeing you started it, you wanted me to do the same.”

“Of course I fucking don’t! Why the fuck would I want another man’s hand on my dick?”

He didn’t say anything, he just sat there looking the other way. We sat in silence for the longest 10 seconds of my life.

“Look, Ernie. I’m sorry.” He broke the awkward silence. “I’m going to go and sleep on the sofa.” He got up and walked to the door.

“Did I really start it?” It was all I could say.

“Yes. You did.” He shut the door behind him.

I lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling. I had no idea why that had just happened. I’d just got a hand job from another guy and, despite my repulsion, it actually felt awesome. Matt’s hand stroking up and down my fat cock had been one of the best feelings I’d had for years but it’d left me feeling odd, disturbed and really fucking horny. Shit.

Was it worth it? Could I actually bring myself to let another guy touch my cock just to have the release I’d so badly craved for years and years? I have no idea how close I was to cumming but the sensation of Matt’s masculine hands on my cock was addictive, I wanted him to do it again. No, I needed him to do it again. I didn’t care if it made me a fag, I had to cum and, at that moment, Matt was the only option.

I got up and went downstairs.

I opened the door to the living room, Matt was curled up uncomfortably on the sofa with his back to me. I closed the door behind me and he turned over as the latch clicked shut.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. He’d been crying.

“I’m the one who should be apologising, I freaked out and I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know what was going on.”

“I’m telling the truth, Ernie. You know I’d never do anything like that but I just assumed that since you were doing it to me, I could do it too. What was going on anyway?”

“I didn’t know I was, I was asleep.”

“Oh…well, there must be some reason. Straight men don’t just start jerking off other guys.”

He had me there. There was no excuse I could give so I had to tell him the truth. I told him all about my last meeting with Dr. Hillard and he listened to it without comment.

“So, that’s probably part of the reason I did what I did.”

“You’ve not cum in nine years? How can you walk?” He smiled

“You’re a cheeky fucker!”

“ I know!” he said, still beaming.

“Look, Kiddo. I’m really sorry. It’s such a fucked up situation.”

“Let’s stop apologising and forget about it.”

“Deal.” We shook hands.

“Right, I’m going back to bed. You coming?” I said as I got up.

“It’s probably not the best idea tonight, not after what’s happened. I’ll sleep down here.”

“I thought we said we were forgetting about that?”

“Yeah…sure…but…”

“No buts, Matt.”

“Ok, but what if it happens again?”

“Well, if it does, I promise to not freak out. In fact, I’ll not say a word.” As I said this our eyes met and we shared a flash of understanding. Then he followed me from the room and we said nothing as we walked upstairs.

He was lying beside me in the bed; we were awkwardly silent again. Although neither of us said anything, we both knew the other was awake. I could hear Matt breathing which only served to intensify the tension that was evident, although we were laying fairly close, that gap between us felt huge.
Matt had been laying on his side and I on my back. As he turned over onto his back the knuckles of his right hand brushed against the back of my left hand. I flinched slightly but didn’t move, we were lying like this for a few minutes, neither of us dared to make any motion for a long while. Slowly, I allowed my hand to fall to the side and gently held his fingers in my palm. He turned his hand over in mine and, once again, we allowed out fingers to intertwine.

After I few minutes, I plucked up the courage and pulled his hand towards my body. He didn’t resist and allowed me to guide him. I unclasped out hands and his manly right hand now rested on the fabric of my boxers at my left hip. Slowly he began to stretch out his finger tips which made the cotton slide against my skin, the slight abrasiveness of the material caused a pleasant tingling sensation which spread around my groin, to my balls and finally my expanding cock.

His hand remained in the same location and my dick began to stir, my breathing was slowing becoming shallower as the long forgotten sensation took over my body. My dick was now semi hard and becoming rapidly harder, within a few more strokes of his finger tips, the tip of my dick would be nearly touching his hand.

He didn’t stop or say a word, he just kept stretching out his fingers until my dick got in the way. He briefly paused and moved his hand to the right, his whole hand now covered my cock as he began to gently knead it to get it to its full hardness. He rolled the ball of his hand against my dick through my boxers and I felt it grow even more. It was now almost fully hard.

He continued to stroke me through the fabric; I wanted to tell him to take them off as I longed to feel his skin against mine. But, at the same time, I wanted to savour this sensation so I said nothing.

His fingertips now played with the head of my dick, causing it to tingle and leak pre-cum which began to make my boxers transparent. I was breathing quickly, trying my best not to moan. I didn’t think I could get any harder until he slid his hand under the waistband of my boxers and I felt the skin of his hand make contact with my hot cock. My dick sprang into action and I nearly came there and then but he didn’t stroke it at first, he just held it as if he were trying to get accustomed to the size and weight of the tool he had to work with.

Starting at the base, he began short, slow strokes getting higher each time but always returning the bottom; the hard skin from his dedication to the gym gave extra sensation and feeling.

By the time he got to the head, about a minute later, I could already feel the start of an intense orgasm building. He obviously felt my dick stiffen ready as he sped up his strokes to bring me to the climax. The wave of orgasm started in my toes and quickly spread up my legs towards my groin. As it reached my cock I was squirting out nine years worth of cum. I lost count after the seventh squirt but it went everywhere, even the wall behind the bed was covered as well as my face and chest.

For the next two minutes I lay there shaking after the most intense feeling I had ever experienced, the orgasm didn’t seem to want to stop and my body was enjoying it far too much to protest.

Matt, hand covered in cum, was still slowly stroking my still-hard cock. I could hear myself panting, trying to regulate my breathing but I was more interested in basking in the feeling of this incredible moment. At that point in the proceedings, I didn’t care that it was another guy who’d given me the best orgasm of my life, I was just happy in the post-orgasmic glow.

As the feeling began to wear off, I turned to Matt who was still lying awake.

“Thank you,” I said.

He smiled, he had a killer smile. “It’s ok, Ernie. I’m glad I could help.”

“You’re special, kiddo.”

“Thanks, Ernie. Anyway, I’d better get to sleep.”

“Yeah, see you in morning.”

He leant over to kiss me on the cheek, for some reason that I still can’t work out, I turned to face his kiss and his lips met mine for a brief moment. He pulled his head away slightly and then moved it towards me again, this time I turned and presented him my cheek.

He quickly turned over and with his back to me he fell asleep. Moments later, I did too.

***

In the cold, hard light of the day, I began to regret my decision the previous night. Although it felt great at the time, it now felt wrong- really wrong. To have a guy that close to me and touching my cock wasn’t right, it wasn’t natural. I was straight! I was meant to be with women, not men.

Matt was sleeping next to me; at that moment in time I hated him. I would have been happy to never see him again, he was a faggot and he took advantage- if only that were true. The truth is I was hating and doubting myself and I blamed Matt for that.

I got out of bed, pulled on some clothes and left the house. Even though I could have just told Matt, I phoned the gym and cancelled my appointment, I couldn’t bring myself to face him.

I went to a local café and ordered breakfast, just as I was starting to eat I had a text from Matt: Just got to work, told you cancelled. If it’s about last night, I thought it was what you wanted? Sorry, I should never have agreed if it’s going to cause upset.
I hit the ‘delete’ button without replying.
 
Nick,
A powerful chapter. Super HOT intimacy in describing his feelings during the hand job. I'm about to explode, but there are others around!

When is poor poor Ernie going to be able to let himself go. He has a great friend in Matt that could bring him so much relief and pleasure, and whom he could bring pleasure to.

Intead, he mentally accuses Matt of taking advantage of him, when just the opposite is really true. Ernie is egging Matt on to help Ernie get the release of a lifetime, then shunning him, instead of saying Thank You in a very tangible way.

Your literary skills are definitely growing nicely, as are aspects of my body as I ready your work!

Thanks for all of the effort you've obviously put into this story for us.
Is there any doubt you earned your 5 stars? Not in my book!

:=D: :wave: (UU) :hurray:
 
Wow, Nick! That was intense. My initial feeling is to be pissed at Ernie. Using Matt to obtain a long overdue orgasm and then turning against him. Particularly since he initiated the entire episode. However, then I realize this is a "straight" man trying desperately to find himself. Confusion and turmoil boiling within him. Haven't we all, at some point, used someone else for our own pleasure. Hopefully Matt will understand and be strong enough to withstand the turn of events without blaming himself. And I look forward to the time when Ernie will get over his macho self.

Anyway, great chapter and I can hardly wait for the next installment.

Craiger
 
Great chapter, Nick. Thank you.
Poor Matt, he is getting very mixed signals from Ernie !
I do hope Ernie can get over his 'straight' stance & accept that he has feelings for Matt.
More please
Harry
 
Update: Hey guys, thanks for all your support with the story. Sorry I've been slack with the updates, the last few weeks of work took over my life and I couldn't find time to do anything.

Anyway, it's summer break now so I have six weeks off and loads of time to write. I'll try and get the next chapter done by the end of the week.
 
Thanks for being so patient guys. Hope you enjoy chapter 14; I'm already a hefty chunk in to chapter 15 too. Apologies for errors; it's not been checked. It's not the best chapter but I'm getting warmed up again after such a long break.

Nick.

Chapter 14- Smoothing It Over.

To be honest, the next few days were actually pretty shit. Sandra was still being unusually curt with me, despite numerous apologies. She had stopped to ask me what was wrong but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her and this pissed her off even more.

Matt wasn’t giving up either; he kept texting me to see if I was ok, or to ask if I wanted to talk. I didn’t reply to a single one. On the plus side, I’d managed to avoid him at the gym as I found out from Stephen when he would be working. Both Stephen and Grant had noticed something was up but I didn’t tell them what and I knew, despite everything, Matt wouldn’t tell them. This should have been a great week, I’d found a way to fix my problem but I’d satisfied a physical urge in a way that fucked me up mentally.

The weekend was fast approaching again and I knew they were planning another big dinner party/night out. I hadn’t asked if Matt was coming; I just assumed he was. Despite numerous attempts to make other plans, it looked like I was going to have to stay in and face him. I toyed with the idea of calling him but couldn’t think what to say the idea of saying “I know you jerked me off but lets forget it,” didn’t really appeal to me.

As I was leaving work on the Thursday evening my phone beeped again 1 Message: Matt. He was persistent, if nothing else. I’d deleted his last few without even reading them but I thought I’d see what he had to say:

Umm…hey. I’ve been invited round on Saturday but don’t want to come if you don’t want me there. If you don’t reply, I’ll take it as a sign that you don’t mind me being there. So, let me know. Matt.

Fuck! He was a clever fucker- he was playing me with this text. If I didn’t reply he’d be there on Saturday but if I did he’d think I was willing to have a conversation about it. With some trepidation, I deleted the message and headed to the gym where I stayed until it closed.

* * *

“Oh. Look who it is!” Grant remarked sarcastically as I arrived home. “I’m sorry, I think I’ve forgotten your name.”

“Oh fuck off.” I replied dryly.

“Fuck that,” he sounded pissed “you’ve been like a damn ghost for the last week. You’re hardly ever here and when you are you’re locked in your room. Now, you’re going to sit here and tell me what the fuck is wrong and you’re going nowhere until you do.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ernie,” he was looking me square in the eye, “we’ve been friends now for over 25 years and in that time how many secret have we kept from each other?”
I went to reply but he carried on talking. “None, that’s how many. Now, there’s no fucking way that you’re going to sit here, in my house, moping like a spoilt little bitch. Either you tell me what’s wrong or you can pack your shit and consider our friendship over.”

“Grant! You don’t mean tha…”

“Yes. I do. You’ve been acting like a dick and I’m getting sick of it Ernie. I’m doing you a favour here and you don’t seem to appreciate any of it. You’re so wrapped up in your selfishness that you can’t see how trying you can be. Now, tell me or get the fuck out.”

Once again, he was right.

“OK,” I said “but there are two provisos. One: you don’t interrupt me and two you don’t offer any advice and you let me deal with it in my own way.”

He nodded.

“Well, after our conversation about Hillard’s advice, I began to think about what he’s said and what I wanted. I didn’t make a decision as such, but it made me realise that to cum had been my goal for years and I had to make that happen. Last weekend, after you guys went out, Matt came up and slept next to me. I woke up…fuck…I woke up and we were jerking each other off. I went mad and told him to get out but the sensation had me addicted and he came up and finished me off.

“At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do; it felt so fucking good. But, now, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been with another guy and it’s been playing on my mind ever since. Matt’s not helping as he keeps texting me, even though I don’t reply, and Sandra’s fucked off with me as she knows something’s wrong but, if I told her, she’d never speak to me again.”

Grant sat there.

“Fucking say something then!” I shouted.

“You told me not to.” I retorted.

“Yeah, but I know you want to.”

“Well, I’m not surprised. Your brain has been in your cock since I first met you, Ernie. I knew you were considering Hillard’s advice and it looks like he was right about you having to get it from guys. To be honest, and I know you don’t want to hear this, I knew it would be Matt. You guys get on well and he thinks the world of you.”

“Don’t say that!”

“It’s true, Ernie. You can’t tell me you’ve not noticed it?”

“I s’pose.” I had noticed it but I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself. “So what am I gonna do?”

“You want my advice now?”

“I’m gonna get it anyway.” I grinned, it was amazing how telling Grant always seemed to help.

“Clear the air with Matt when he comes round on Saturday. Don’t do it by text; do it face-to-face. When you go back to work on Monday tell Sandra that you’re taking her out to dinner that evening and won’t take ‘no’ for an answer- give her some flowers too.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem, it’s what I’m here for. You know I’d never judge you, Ernie.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just so messy.”

“Too right it is! But I’m used to it with you!”

“Fucker!”

“You’re cooking tonight.” He said sharply, as if to remind me I had no say in the matter.

“Take-out it is then! When’s Princess home?”

“You lazy fuck! He should have been home a while a go, I’ll give him a call.”

I called for Chinese and ordered.

“He’s gone out with work, again!” Grant stormed back into the room, “did you order for him too?”

“Well…uh…yeah but, it’s ok, we can eat his.”

“Yeah…sure.” He was annoyed, I could tell. “He really fucks me off when he goes out without letting me know.”

“Don’t dwell on it, you know what he’s like; too impulsive for his own good.”

“Too selfish for his own good.” Grant said solemnly.

“Bad TV?”

“You betcha!”

We spent the rest of the evening eating far too much stodgy Chinese and drinking far too much semi-chilled-because-we-couldn’t-be-bothered-to-keep-going-to-the-fridge beer. In our drunken haze we reminisced about all the things we had been through together; the good, the bad, the awful and the depraved which served to remind me just how good and strong our friendship was. I know it sounds faggy, and fucking soppy, but Grant really was the guy I could turn to in any situation. I felt we’d bonded more in the last few months than we had in a long time and the evening was going swimmingly. Until Stephen walked in…

Grant stood up as soon as Stephen’s head poked round the door and he walked past him without saying a word.

“Where are you going?” Stephen asked nervously, in the least confrontational voice he could muster.

“I’m making some room for you on the sofa, seeing that’s where you’re going to be sleeping tonight.” He bounded up the stairs to the bedroom and locked the door from the inside.

“What the…?” Stephen looked at me to say something.

“Sorry Steve-o, I’m not going involved. Good night.” I said, as I patted him on the shoulder. The living room door slammed behind me.

* * *

The mood in the house was pretty fucking tense on Saturday morning so I decided it was best to get out for a while. Without thinking I headed to the gym and who should be sitting at the desk? Do I even need to say his name?

He took my card without speaking or making eye contact.

“Thanks,” I managed as he handed it back to me. I went to walk away but I had to say something else to him. “Can you come round a little earlier tonight? You know, before the others get there. I think we should talk.”

He looked up and smiled that great smile, I noticed, for the first time in a while, the bruises from that attack. “Thanks, Ernie. I’d like that.”

* * *

After spending more time at the gym than was probably good for me, I returned home to find Grant and Stephen in the kitchen, deep in conversation. They both turned to look at me as I walked in.

“Oh! Shit! Sorry for interrupting.”

“No worries, Ernelia! We’ve sorted it all out. We were actually talking about you.”

Grant’s fake smile dropped suddenly.

“You told him?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry.” Grant mumbled in response.

“Oh. Well, I guessed you would anyway. But, please Stephen, not a word to anyone- even Matt.”

“You know I wouldn’t!” Steve squealed in mock innocence.

“Good, thanks.” I didn’t mind Stephen knowing but I was still a little angry towards Grant for telling him. Although I know they are very close, it really wasn’t his place to say.

“Are you joining us tonight?” Stephen asked.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Club as well?”

“If I must, but just cuz I let one faggot touch me it doesn’t mean it’s open season on the straight guy.” I laughed.

“Shame.” Stephen pretended to cry.

“Fuck off you queer! Oh! Is it ok if Matt comes around a little earlier than planned? I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Grant interjected before Stephen could make a snide remark.

“Thanks.”

I spent the rest of the day helping tidy and cook dinner for the evening. The guests were arriving at 7 and I knew Matt finished at 6 so would probably be arriving by 6:30. To say I was nervous was an understatement, I had absolutely no idea what to say to the guy so, when he turned beaming his perfect smile, I was lost for words.

“Eeeerrrrrnnnneeeeeellliiiiiiaaaaaa!” Stephen called as I’d just pulled my t-shirt on, “you’re gentleman called is here.” I had to hand it to Stephen, he was probably the only person in the world that could have made the situation even more awkward.

“Hey Matt,” I smiled awkwardly, “let’s go through to the lounge, we can talk more privately in there.” I spate the word privately in Stephen’s direction as he winked at me.

Matt followed me through to the lounge and sat in the arm chair opposite me.

“I just wanted to say,” I began, “that I need to apologise for being a jerk to you. I just haven’t had any idea of what to say to you because I’ve never been in this situation before. I think you should know that it was a one-off and that I can’t let it happen again for two reasons. One: I’m not gay and two: you’re too good a friend to let this happen to. You’re a great guy, Matt. You’ll make someone a wonderful boyfriend but I’m straight and that guy won’t be me. Thanks for helping me out though, I really appreciated that.”

“I bet you did!” He grinned, “you made enough of a mess! Look, Ernie, you’ve said exactly what I thought you were gonna say. I didn’t have my hopes pinned on marriage if that’s what you think. As far as I’m concerned I was helping out a friend and that’s the end of that.”

“Well…” I was lost for words “that was easier than I expected!”

“You weren’t expecting my to cry and beg for you to love me, were you?”

“I don’t know what I was expecting!” We both laughed, “come on then, let’s go help the others.”
 
Another chapter to make up for the lack of updates. I hope you like 15; it's my favourite one yet.

Chapter 15- Crazy Feelings.

“That was quick!” Stephen squealed as we came out of the living room.

“All good?” enquired Grant.

“All good!” Matt and I replied in unison.

“Good, good. You can stir that pot,” he said to me “And you Matty-boy, can lay the table.”

“Yessir,” Matt replied, saluting Grant in an ironic way.

“Don’t fuck with me, Army Boy, or I’ll have you court marshalled!” We all laughed.

* * *

Right on time, Tyrone, Rob and Chase arrived. Michael, the librarian, was at some sort of conference so couldn’t make it but sent his apologies. I wasn’t really that bothered to be honest; he wasn’t exactly the most ‘rock n roll’ of Grant and Stephen’s friends.

As soon as they arrived Stephen whisked Chase off to talk wedding plans. In my own selfishness, I’d completely forgotten about he impending nuptials and now realised they were about 3 weeks away. I made a mental note to get my speech started as soon as I could. Stephen and Chase were at the table, giggling over the ‘wedding book,’ as Matt and I helped Grant in the kitchen. More than once, I saw Chase looking over in Matt’s direction and Matt return a few of his smiles. Tyrone and Rob were in the lounge with some beers, flicking through the cable channels.

Dinner, as always was a light-hearted affair. Once again, I learnt far more about gay sex than I ever needed to know in my lifetime but they had a way of talking about it that made it seem so off-hand and normal. I sat next to Tyrone again and we spoke about ideas for our speeches, he had some great ones but, then again, he was allowed to as he was a hell of a lot more educated than I was. I didn’t actually mind that my speech would pale in comparison to his, as he was such a decent guy.

The rest of the table were conversing freely. Grant and Rob were talking animatedly about something which they were obviously passionate and, at the other end of the table, Stephen, Chase and Matt were laughing at something undoubtedly outrageous that Stephen has just said. Matt and Chase continued their conversation as Stephen went to get more wine, they were laughing still- after all that had happened, it was good to see Kiddo laughing.

Two taxis arrived at suitably-drunk O’clock and we stumbled in to them to begin our night of trying to maintain conversation over bass and noise.

The club was jam-packed when we arrived, there was nowhere to sit so we ended up hanging by the bar and getting evil looks from skinny queens who were having trouble getting their drinks. As always when you go out in a group, we ended up splitting off. The younger ones (Matt, Stephen, Chase and Tyrone) were dancing like they were auditioning for a Rihanna video while Rob, Grant and I watched on, wincing at the more-often-bad-than-good dance moves.

As the night progressed, I got to find out a bit more about Rob. Like Tyrone, he was a bloody nice guy and owned his own small property company, dealing mostly with business rentals and office space. He’d been with Tyrone for a few months and said he’d never been happier- especially after the ex that reared his ugly head a few weeks ago. For the first time, I was actually having a good night in Pretty. Whether it was fuelled by the alcohol or the company didn’t bother me, I was in a really good mood.

I turned back to look at the wannabe-starlets on the dancefloor. Stephen and Tyrone were still throwing some pretty impressive shapes but Chase and Matt had disappeared.

“Where did Chase and Matt go?” I asked Grant.

“Over there.” He replied, raising his glass to point in their direction.

I turned round to see Chase pushed up against the DJ booth with Matt’s tongue firmly down his throat. I looked away in shock as Grant and Rob laughed.

Moments later Matt came over to the bar; he was absolutely wasted.

“I don’t think you need any more, Matt.” I advised him.

“I’m just having one more, Hetero.” He smiled.

“No Matt, no more.” I said, forcefully.

“Ernie, fuck off. I’m having another drink.”

“No Matt, you’re not. You’re making a show of yourself.” I grabbed the top of his arm as he tried to push past me.

“You’re the one making it into a show, Ernie. Now let go of me!”

“No, Matt, not until you sober up a bit.”

“What’s your problem, Ernie?”

“Nothing, I don’t have a problem you’re just too drunk”

“Is this about me having a drink or about me kissing Chase? I saw you watching, Ernie.”

“You’re being a prick, Matt.”

“Answer the question, Ernie.”

“Grow up, Matt.”

“No!” he was shouting now, “Answer my fucking question! Are you in a bad mood because I’m drunk or because I was kissing Chase?”

“You’re being stupid, Matt.” I let go of him, “I’m going outside for some air.”

* * *

What the fuck had gotten into me? Why was I acting like such a jerk? I sank to the floor and buried my head in my hands. Within seconds, Matt was standing in front of me; I rose to my feet.

“You’re a fucking prick, Ernie Carmichael! A grade ‘A’, top-quality prick, you know that?” Matt screamed at me.

“Shut up, Matt and go back inside. Just a moment ago you were desperate for a drink. Maybe it’s time you went and got it.” I didn’t want to have this conversation.

“No! Not until you answer my question! It’s just you and me out here now. No one can hear you, so answer me. Was it the drink or Chase?”

“It was the drink. I told you I don’t like you like that.”

“You’re a fucking terrible liar, Ernie.”

“I’m not lying.”

“You’re ridiculous, Ernie. You’re a damn clown.”

“Go away, Matt.” I said calmly.

“No, I’m not going to pander to you anymore.” He was shouting again, “I do everything you tell me to, when you tell me to. I don’t question you; I just go ahead and do it. And do you know why? DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHY, ERNIE?...”

He stopped and looked at me; his body language changed.

He continued “…because I thought I loved you. Pah! What a fucking joke.”

He turned to go. “Matt! Wait!” I called.

“What? There’s nothing you can say to make it better, Ernie.”

What I wanted to say wouldn’t come out “I….I’m sorry.”

“You’re always fucking sorry!” and he went back inside.

I had no intention of going back inside anytime soon, so I was relieved when Grant came out to find me.

“Well,” he said in his big-brotherly voice, “you royally fucked that up.”

“Yeah, like most things I do.” I replied.

“You gonna come back inside?”

“I can’t face Matt at the moment.”

“You needn’t worry, he’s gone home,” he paused before adding “with Chase.”

“What?”

“Yeah, they just got in a taxi.”

“Oh…” I should’ve known it was coming. “I guess I’ll come back in then.”

“Good, cuz it’s your round!” Grant smiled at me and whacked me on the big with his huge hand.

I managed to salvage some of the night by drinking myself into oblivion and attempting to shuffle-dance my way through some songs that I’d never heard. The LCD alarm clock read 5:17am when I got into bed and passed out.

* * *

My head was throbbing the following morning. Going to the window to get some air, I noticed Matt’s car was still in the driveway. My argument with Matt was the only thing I could remember from the previous night and, if that had been the main event, I didn’t want to be reminded about the rest.

“Moooorrrrnnniiiinnnnnngggg,” Stephen sang whilst dancing around the kitchen in his underwear; making breakfast for everyone. Rob and Tyrone were sitting at the table nursing cups of coffee and, from the looks on their faces, sore heads.

“Morning all,” I managed to mumble as I poured a coffee and got a banana and two aspirin.

“I don’t think I need to ask you how you feel,” Rob giggled.

I smiled at him and sat at the table. “The less we mention about last night, the better.” They all looked uncomfortable. “And don’t say a word about the dancing either.” They all laughed at this.

“You are a brilliant dancer, Ernie!” Stephen said dryly, “you’ll have to teach me that move. You know. The one where you step in time to the beat but clap just after it.” We all laughed.

The door opened and Grant came in removing his earphone. “Don’t say you’ve been for a run!” Tyrone said, appalled.

“Yeah, best thing for it.” He replied grabbing a mug and pouring some coffee for himself.

“Crazy man!” Tyrone sighed as he held his head in his hands. “Surely having fun shouldn’t be this painful?”

“I agree!” Rob said, slumping forward.

The doorbell rang and Grant went to answer it. A few seconds later Grant returned to the kitchen and shot me a you’d-better-behave-yourself look as Matt and Chase appeared, hand-in-hand behind him.

“Morning girls!” Stephen squealed, “did you have fun last night?”

The both smiled nervously before Matt answered ambiguously; “Yeah, it was a good night. Chase gave me a lift round to pick my car up.”

“You staying for breakfast?” Stephen asked, “there’s plenty to go round!”

“I don’t want to put you out,” Chase said, unsurely.

“Nonsense. Grab a coffee and sit down.” Stephen barked.

The only two spare seats at the table were the two either side of mine. Without saying a word, or looking at them, I moved across to the right to let the happy couple sit together. Matt whispered a ‘thanks’ but I pretended not to hear. It seemed that everyone else in the room was really happy for them and wanted all the gossip. I couldn’t handle hearing about it so, I quietly got up, made my excuses and headed back upstairs to sleep off my hangover.

What felt like about 5 minutes, but was actually an hour and a half later, Matt knocked on my door- waking me up in the process. He’d already entered before I asked him to come in.

“I just came up to check on you. You know, see if you’re ok?” He smiled nervously as I sat upright.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Now, you better run along, Chase will be waiting.” I said in the most nonchalant way I could.

“Drop the unconcerned prick act, Ernie. Besides, Chase has gone.”

“Oh…” I said, bringing my feet up to my chest.

“Is that all you have to say?” He sounded annoyed.

“Well, there’s not much else to say to be honest.”

“How about ‘Sorry for being an idiot last night?’”

“I’m not apologising for that, I had your interests at heart.”

“No, Ernie. You had YOUR interests at heart.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I was sitting bolt upright by this point, my feet on the floor; I was getting angry.

“Don’t play dumb, Ernie. We both know what it means.”

“No! I don’t! That’s why I’m asking!” By now, I was standing up in just my boxers.

“Then you need to do a lot more fucking soul searching that I thought you did!”

I sprang out of bed, grabbed him by the neck and pushed him up against the wall. We stood nose to nose; my blood was boiling. “You. Little. Fucking. Prick.” I spate; I gripped his neck harder as he struggled for breath. “I have no idea what you think I am, but I’m not gay and I’m not in love with you!” I let go of him, pushing him backwards as I did so.

As I turned away, I felt a heavy blow to the back of my head where he had punched me. As I turned to face him, he hit me again with a heavy left hand, knocking me onto the bed where he jumped on me and put his hands round my throat and hit me for a third time. In the struggle, I managed to bring my legs up and force him backwards off the bed. He landed on the floor, his back slamming against the wall. I took him by the scruff of his neck and punched him in the face; a clean right hook to his left cheek. We were both panting heavily and, still holding his shirt, I pulled him to his feet so our faces were level and I caught a glimpse of my anguished face in his eyes. I moved my face closer to his and through gritted teeth I told him “You’ve made a fucking fool of me, Matt. I never want to see you again, do you understand?”

I let go of his shirt and, still standing, he slumped against the wall and began to cry. He managed to compose himself enough to speak through the tears. “Please, Ernie. I can’t cope without seeing you, you’ve been my rock for the last month and I need you. Don’t you understand? I went home with Chase to hurt you, I wanted you to know how I felt when you used me and then didn’t want to know anymore. I fucking love you Ernie Carmichael and I can’t stop myself.”

I'd not moved since I let go of his shirt; we were standing with out faces just millimetres apart. He put each hand either side of my face and pulled me into his lips where he kissed me and the entire world seemed to stand still. He opened his mouth slightly to allow my tongue to enter and I did the same, our tongues met in the middle, wrestling each other in a show of ultimate passion.

I broke away after a few seconds; looked him in the eye and said; “You know this can’t happen, don’t you?”
 
Another awesome chapter. The twinge of jealousy Ernie is displaying is so obvious to everyone but himself. Even with the macho denial and physicality with Matt he tries to deny his true self. But then, wow! The passion of those last few paragraphs are stunning................

Craiger
 
Nick,
Welcome back from end of term.
Thanks for a pair of get the blood flowing chapters.
Poor poor Matt and Poor, Confused Ernie.
Looking in the mirror can be a very difficult thing to do - especially when the mirror at hand is a pair of eyes that scream "I Love You", and you see your own despair reflected back.

I remember a timid, budding author who questioned his talent. Don't be questioning yourself, sir. You have morphed into a very embracing scribe.

It was a great way to start my birthday off.
Thanks for writing and sharing it with us.
Have a great weekend.
 
Happy Birthday Don! An extra birthday chapter, just for you!! x x x

A pretty short chapter this time but a good one nontheless (if I do say so myself.) I've decided that I need to start thinking about where this story should end and I've come up with an idea that, while it will probably be very unsatisfying/unsettling for most, will be the most necessary outcome.

Don't forget, a while back I said that you are going to see a very nasty side to one of the characters. (I'd like some guesses as to who!) This will definitely be happening soon as chapter 25 (or thereabouts) will be the final chapter.

Chapter 16- Where One Door Closes…

“You keep telling me that, but then you go and do something that changes it all again.” Matt pleaded.

“I know I do,” I was still holding him “but…but…Oh fuck, I don’t know what to say.”

“Just don’t say you’re sorry, I can’t stand it when you do that!”

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry. But you need to realise that if anything happens between us, it’s just sex- nothing more. I only need men to help me out, it’s not about you Matt. Any man will do.”

“You’re a cunt.” He pushed me hard and I fell onto the bed.

“Call me what you like, Matt. It’s not my fault you’ve fallen in love with me!” I said as I sat up angrily

“You heartless sonofabitch!” He snarled through his teeth.

“You should go.”

“I’m not leaving until you admit it.”

“There’s nothing to admit!” I said getting to my feet again.

I moved towards Matt and pushed him towards the door. In our struggle he managed to land a couple of punches on my chest. He swung for a third time and I managed to duck; the ferocity of his swing caught him off balance and I was able to get behind him and put his arms into a full nelson above his head. Using my powerful legs, I pushed him into the door but couldn’t get it open, I tried to use my feet but all I could hear was Matt laughing at me.

“You look like a fucking idiot,” he giggled.

“Shut up!” I snapped but he continued laughing.

“Ernie,” he stopped laughing and his tone had changed “your dick is hard. I can feel it against my ass. You want me, don’t you?”

I looked down, it was at full mast and poking out through the hole in my boxers.

“Fuck,” I let go of Matt in order to adjust it.

Without saying a word, he turned and dropped to his knees in front of me.

“Matt, stop!” I said half-heartedly.

“If you still want me to stop in one minute’s time just say, and I will.”

He grabbed my waist and pulled my hips towards his open mouth. He began to lick the base of my dick through the thin cotton of my white boxers. His tongue felt warm and my cock began to twitch; bringing itself to life. His tongue was now working with his lips against my cock, he was passionately kissing my cock like he did with my lips just moments ago, I could feel his heavy breathing on my pulsing meat- I was in ecstasy.

He gripped the waistband of my boxers and pulled them to the floor. My seven inch cock was now exposed in front of his face. Expertly he kissed the tip; opened his mouth wide and took the whole thing to the back of his throat where he held it for a few seconds before releasing again; allowing himself to breath.

He took my hands and placed them on the back of his head, willing me to fuck his mouth. I thrust my cock in and out of his mouth several times and not once did he gag. At one point, whilst holding my dick at the back of his throat, he managed to extend his tongue and start to work on my balls. With this, I pulled my dick out and he took both balls in his mouth and sucked on them gently. He licked up the shaft of my cock and began to work in the head of my dick with his tongue while slowly jerking me off.

His expertise in cock sucking was soon rewarded when I could feel a load ready to blow. I told him I was about to cum but he didn’t move, he carried on sucking the tip and began to jerk me faster.

As I experienced an even better orgasm than the previous time, I shot my load into Matt’s mouth. He swallowed every drop and began sucking my cock again to clean up the mess, he sucked me until he had milked me dry and I collapsed back onto the bed.

Without a word Matt got up and headed to the door. I turned and smiled; it wasn’t just a great smile, it was a beautiful smile- I smiled back and he left.

* * *

This time, I felt fine about it. Matt knew exactly where the land lay and, as he said before, he was just helping a friend out and I let him satisfy my needs. It was a perfect agreement.

On Monday morning, I followed Grant’s advice and took Sandra some flowers.

“What’s this for?” She eyed me suspiciously.

“It’s a peace offering and it’s followed by an invitation to dinner tonight.”

“What if I’m busy?”

“Then you’ll cancel.”

“Oh, will I? And why’s that?”

“Because, I like you. You like me and you want to know what I’ve got to say.”

“Hmmm…”

I smiled at her. “I’m picking you up at 7:30 from yours.” And I walked off, turning me head after a few steps to smile at her. I had her eating out of the palm of my hand.

* * *

I arrived at Sandra’s just after 7:30 and she was waiting for me.

“You’re late.” She smiled.

“I know. Cancelled your plans then?”

“Don’t be a jerk; you should think yourself lucky. You have one chance to make it up to me tonight, it’s all or nothing.”

“OK, I hear ya.”

I drove to a restaurant that I knew she liked and had already booked us the perfect table in a quiet corner. We were talking again like nothing had happened between us which gave me the courage to apologise for being so stressed out and distant. I didn’t tell her the exact reasons for it but I told her that it has something to do with my ‘problem,’ (which, in a way, it did) and when I mentioned that she seemed to understand a bit more.

“The thing is, Sandra…” I continued “I think you’re pretty special and I’d love to start spending more time with you. And just you, if you know what I mean.”

“I’d like that,” she smiled coyly.

I smiled. “But…I…err…don’t want my ‘problem’ to become a big…uh…problem.”

She smiled, “I know exactly what I’m getting into.”

I smiled again.

We spent the rest of night like a couple, after the meal we went, hand-in-hand, for a walk along the promenade and watched the sunset in the distance. I held her against me as we sat on the rocks and we shared each other’s warmth. It sounds soppy but it was a picture postcard moment and I memory I hoped I would be able to treasure forever.

I dropped her home just after 11, she invited me in but I decided to act in a gentlemanly manner and decline her offer. As I drove home, I felt like everything was on my side at last. The situation with Matt had been resolved and Sandra and I were now a couple at last.

“Good night?” Stephen squealed as I walked in.

“Yes. Very!” I smiled.

“It went ok then?” Grant asked.

“Better than ok…”

“Ooooh.” Stephen screeched in a child-like way “is she your girlfriend now?”

“Haha, I guess so.”

“Congrats.” Said Matt dryly as he came down the stairs.

“Oh. Uh, hey Matt. I didn’t realise you were here.”

“That’s ok. Mum and Dad had another argument and I was asked to leave.”

“Shit. Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s ok, none of your fault.”

“Right,” I stretched in an over-dramatic way, “I’d better be getting to bed. Night all.”

I locked my door as I didn’t want Matt to come in tonight, we’d been through too much and, despite me feeling that our situation was resolved, it was still awkward to see him.
 
Hmmm maybe sandra's nasty side? We've already seen the others have mean sides.

Anyway another great chapter.
 
An interesting chapter all around. We've definitely seen the backside of Ernie vis a vis relationsips. I suspect he'd be a lot more appreciative of his friends if someone did just that - filled his backside and pumped it full.

Poor, poor Matt - I see his animosity growing - Ernie thinks Matt understands, but just WHAT it is that Matt understands, I'm NOT so sure!

Well, I guess Ernie is trying to make the best of a "bad" situation, forcing any sexual interplay with Matt to be strictly fun and therapeutic, nothing "relationship building".

I suppose he's hoping that being able to have some release, while dating Sandra and developing that relationship slowly but satisfactorily will let him hop back in the hetero saddle sooner or later.

3 weeks to the wedding as far as his Best Friend/Lover. No stress in that house!

I have a bad feeling that Matt might be the one fighting psychoses, what with his folks, now Ernie.

I guess we'll all see!

Thanks, again, for putting as much energy into your craft as you have been -- it shows!
:wave: (*8*)
 
Wow 3 chapters. I had some catching up to do. All very well written, I like where this story is going!
 
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