The Institution of Heterosexuality

[bigdaddyhorse]

I've been invited to 2 heterosexual weddings this year and the thought of going is dreadful. How does one get out of going without hurting those who are inviting you? i could easly say plans were made, but I've already been sent the "save the day" card months in advance.

I've always felt that weddings are a bit self-centered, overrated and wasteful. Not only that, but the traditions and get-togethers that heterosexuals take part in nauseate me to no end. I feel sorry for the husbands whose time is taken from them to attend monotonous family functions and evenings out with other couples that their wives arrange. Any of you who have ever been present during one of these or any traditional family type gathering will know what I'm talking about. The conversations all seem so rigid and the interest so forced that it makes me wonder why these people choose to carry on these traditions. It's obvious that there is no real enjoyment in them. Just the wife wanting to keep up with the Jonses.

it gets worse once the wife starts popping out kids and subjecting everyone to endless discussions about their babies bowel movements and spit-up. The husbands in their manly self-righteousness with their sons. I remember spending the holiday with friends of the family and listening to this guy boast about how he going to take his son fishing, make a man of him, blah blah blah... then he puts his son down and the kid heads straight for his sister's make-up purse and starts playing with the lipstick. The look of humiliation on dad's face was classic especially after giving us that blowhard lecture about raising boys. Don't get me wrong about kids. Kids can't help being kids, it's just the annoying way their parents behave around others with them that bothers me. The way they seem to have everything mapped out for their newborns just to satisfy their own egos.

I don't know if it's just me looking at this all from a gay perspective or maybe just the particular heterosexuals that I hang around, but it all just seems so forced and unpleasant. I don't necessarily see much of the same pattern in gay couples because they don't seem to adhere to the same set of standards set by heterosexuals. It amazes me how many of my straight peers have lost their own sense of individuality upon entering the "institution" of marriage and family.

How do the rest of you feel about weddings and heterosexual tradition?

 

[SonOfSlobone]

I have no objection to people who choose to lead a "heterosexual lifestyle" or to advance the "heterosexual agenda" as long as they keep it private and don't force me to watch.

 

[Rex]

I'm going to my cousin's wedding this saturday and I'm looking forward to it.

I think you just have a negative attitude to be honest. I don't like to go to weddings all the time but they can be fun depending on the people you'll be with. I usually skip the church part and just go to the part.

 

[bigdaddyhorse]

as long as they keep it private and don't force me to watch.

one can only wish.

 

[bigdaddyhorse]

Who invited you to these weddings? It doesn't sound like they were people you care about.

co-workers

 

[bigdaddyhorse]

I'm going to my cousin's wedding this saturday and I'm looking forward to it.

I think you just have a negative attitude to be honest. I don't like to go to weddings all the time but they can be fun depending on the people you'll be with. I usually skip the church part and just go to the part.

If you skip the church part you're actually not going to the wedding.

 

[kevbo]

I only go to open bar wedding receptions.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I'll tell you... I hate weddings for the most part and straight weddings are the worst. It's all some silly collection of dumb-ass traditions that are just annoying and not enjoyable for anyone.

I tell everyone they get one wedding out of me. That's it. If you get divorced, I'm not coming to the second one. End of story.

Gay weddings are fine because they're just.. different. Not about some big, huge, pointless show.

My sister's wedding was a three-day ordeal. Rehearsals, receptions and traditions... hours of taking pictures and suffering through prying questions from people... "so jasun.. when are you getting married? you know there's lots of girls here for you.." "What is it that you do for a living?".. toast after toast and annoying story after annoying story... silly ceremonies like cutting the cake and throwing the bouquet and throwing the garter and stomping on glasses and shit like that.

I hated my sister and didn't like her husband... but I was forced to be an usher. Not because she wanted me to be one, but because "the people will ask why you're not." I was 3 months out of rehab the first time and I was NOT in the mood to have people forcing champaign at me and trying to guilt me into drinking because "it's your sister's wedding..."

The only thing worse than family forcing you to do it is co-workers. They don't want you there.. they want you to give presents. They want swag. I've heard from some people that if they work with a lot of women, they get invited to their daughter's weddings even if they don't know the daughter. They get invited to endless "showers" which is just a nice name for "even more presents for people who haven't done anything to deserve them."

The best policy is to just say "I really can't make it. I have something else going on." You don't owe them anything and they just want you to pony up and give them gifts. You think they'd show up and give you stuff if you married your boyfriend? Neither do I.

 

[Lukeee]

I haven't been to many but I do like some parts. Mostly though, as with any family gathering, they are annoying. I hated it when I was younger and twice a year we would go and see family, they would offer drinks then we would sit around for the next half hour asking the same old questions that had the same old answers.

 

[maxpowr9]

I only go to open bar wedding receptions.

I am the same way. I have a few friends getting married at the end of May/beginning of June and I asked if there was an open bar and if there either is a DJ or band.

Free drinks and good music? Who could ask for a better day.

 

[belamy]

First off, I wonder what sort of friendship or relationship do you have with people whose invitation you find annoying. If you let them see very clear that they annoy you they won't think of inviting you when the occasion arrives.
But then if, for whatever inimaginable reason, you must keep that "friendship", then you should consider going to the doctor, first to prescribe you formally the interdiction of attending breeder ceremonies and, second, to begin treatment for your lunacy.

 

[EwanSF]

Never been to one, although my cousins wedding is either gonna be at the end of this year or the beginning of next. Don't think I'd be to bothered. It'll probobly be a church one, but I sit up the back it'll mean I get away with singing any hymes (presbytarian family,) and once we're out of the dump, open bar!

 

[belamy]

hours of taking pictures and suffering through prying questions from people... "so jasun.. when are you getting married? you know there's lots of girls here for you.." "What is it that you do for a living?"...

I never knew Jasun's posts could be such fun

 

[bigdaddyhorse]

I'll tell you... I hate weddings for the most part and straight weddings are the worst. It's all some silly collection of dumb-ass traditions that are just annoying and not enjoyable for anyone.

I tell everyone they get one wedding out of me. That's it. If you get divorced, I'm not coming to the second one. End of story.

Gay weddings are fine because they're just.. different. Not about some big, huge, pointless show.

My sister's wedding was a three-day ordeal. Rehearsals, receptions and traditions... hours of taking pictures and suffering through prying questions from people... "so jasun.. when are you getting married? you know there's lots of girls here for you.." "What is it that you do for a living?".. toast after toast and annoying story after annoying story... silly ceremonies like cutting the cake and throwing the bouquet and throwing the garter and stomping on glasses and shit like that.

I hated my sister and didn't like her husband... but I was forced to be an usher. Not because she wanted me to be one, but because "the people will ask why you're not." I was 3 months out of rehab the first time and I was NOT in the mood to have people forcing champaign at me and trying to guilt me into drinking because "it's your sister's wedding..."

The only thing worse than family forcing you to do it is co-workers. They don't want you there.. they want you to give presents. They want swag. I've heard from some people that if they work with a lot of women, they get invited to their daughter's weddings even if they don't know the daughter. They get invited to endless "showers" which is just a nice name for "even more presents for people who haven't done anything to deserve them."

The best policy is to just say "I really can't make it. I have something else going on." You don't owe them anything and they just want you to pony up and give them gifts. You think they'd show up and give you stuff if you married your boyfriend? Neither do I.

I think you understand where I'm coming from. While I don't hate those whose wedding I've been invited to I do hate the tradition and all the phony social niceties that go with attending the reception. I think a congratulations is all a married couple really deserves. Yeah, the gifts and all the showers really get out of hand, and these women seem to live for that shit.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I think you understand where I'm coming from. While I don't hate those whose wedding I've been invited to I do hate the tradition and all the phony social niceties that go with attending the reception. I think a congratulations is all a married couple really deserves. Yeah, the gifts and all the showers really get out of hand, and these women seem to live for that shit.

I once knew a woman who told me that at least once per month and often more, she was asked to attend a wedding reception, a baby shower, a wedding shower, a Jack & Jill or some other stupid "GIMME GIFTS" event that straight people put on.

She said she never knew any of the people involved.. it was always children or even nieces and nephews of her co-workers. She was expected to buy a gift and suffer through hours of inane chatter with someone she didn't know and didn't like. She would be given "save the day" cards months in advance.

She said she felt like her whole social calendar was being planned by a bunch of people who only invited her to things when gifts were needed. She never once got an invite to a party or over to dinner at anyone's house unless it was to give something to someone she didn't know.

Apparently some women live for this shit. Their whole lives revolve around throwing parties and getting stuff. Disgusting, isn't it?

 

[Apollo]

Most of us are a product of "heterosexual tradition". That said, I don't like or dislike weddings. I've been to a few myself, heck, I've even flown through 3 countries and 3 time zones to go to one, because it was my bests friend's wedding.

My being gay doesn't make me anti-straight. So I don't really mind, and I usually can have a good time, it's all in the attitude one takes on the event.

thank you so much for that post.

 

[Telstra]

i don't like going to weddings but i'm getting paid to go to weddings .... long hours ..... sucks.
I'm a wedding expert. LOL

 

[Telstra]

I once knew a woman who told me that at least once per month and often more, she was asked to attend a wedding reception, a baby shower, a wedding shower, a Jack & Jill or some other stupid "GIMME GIFTS" event that straight people put on.

She said she never knew any of the people involved.. it was always children or even nieces and nephews of her co-workers. She was expected to buy a gift and suffer through hours of inane chatter with someone she didn't know and didn't like. She would be given "save the day" cards months in advance.

She said she felt like her whole social calendar was being planned by a bunch of people who only invited her to things when gifts were needed. She never once got an invite to a party or over to dinner at anyone's house unless it was to give something to someone she didn't know.

Apparently some women live for this shit. Their whole lives revolve around throwing parties and getting stuff. Disgusting, isn't it?

Unless she is getting paid to go, she should not go.

 

[Telstra]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpTMwBcQHdM&feature=related[/ame]

interesting short film. They should add the sex bit.

 

[bankside]

I think all of you who complain about heterosexual weddings should consider meeting a different class of straight people if the only ones you know dedicate themselves to shallow, commercial, selfish, pointless rituals.

The ones I know have had sweet, moving, simple, delightful weddings. Same goes for the gay ones.

Well, to be fair, I should really say "The ones I keep in touch with" because I do know about the kind of weddings you complain about. I've been to those. Sad when it is family. BTW you forgot to complain about the "Mother of the bride" mega wedding, which isn't really for either person in the actual couple, who usually end up looking like deer in the headlights at the day which is supposed to be about them.