valle12tom
JUB Addict
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The Jock with the Two Inch Cock
"Mr. Wilson! Mr. Wilson. Can you hear me Mr. Wilson! Come in Mr. Wilson! Earth to Mr. Wilson!!!"
Then the laughter started and I came awake and opened my eyes to see the entire class looking at me and laughing as Mrs. Butler, our history teacher, stood there by my desk calling my name. I had been off in a dream world and had not heard her ask me a question. I started to turn red with embarrassment.
I am usually a great student in fact I have almost straight A’s in all my classes. I am also what you might call a jock seeing as I am the captain of our high school soccer team, swim team and tennis team. I am also a senior at Cadberry County High School and I am 18 years and six months old and believe me I counted those six months. I was so happy to have finally turned 18 six months ago.
My name is Chris Wilson and to tell you a little about myself I am a very popular guy with loads of friends. I am smart, I am a jock and I am quite good looking if I must say so myself. So why was I lost in a day dream in Mrs. Butler’s history of the world class? Why did I wake up to find everyone laughing at me and my face turning bright red. I felt like I wanted to crawl in a hole and die I was so embarrassed.
Lately I have been so depressed. On the outside I am mister perfect who has the perfect life, the perfect family, perfect grades, perfect friends. People look up to me and respect me. Both adults and my peers. I have blond hair and I don’t mean dirty blond I mean really blond and gorgeous. Everyone loves my hair. I wear it a bit on the long side and am always tossing my head to get my hair off my face. My face looks like a models face with puffy sensuous lips, two big dimples when I smile, large pearly white teeth and blue eyes surrounded by long sexy eye lashes. In a word I am beautiful and I know it. Everyone knows it. Everyone has told me how beautiful I am for as long as I can remember.
I am about 6 feet 6 inches tall with long arms with great muscles from working out in the gym after school everyday. I have a great and very distinctive six pack that is the envy of every guy in the locker room and in the entire school. I know people watch me when I take off my shirt just to get a look and I get off on their getting off on how great I look. Shit it feels good to be admired. My nipples are large and well pronounced and my aureoles are dime sized and pinkish tan. I have a wonderful Apollo’s Belt with beautiful large veins cris crossing it on their way into my crotch.
Although I am naturally practically hairless I do have a slight treasure trail going from my outed down to my curly blond pubes which I keep trimmed. My legs are long and I must admit they are fine with well developed calf muscles and a very slight covering of very fine blond hairs that accentuate my legs natural tanned look. My gorgeous legs end with a pair of beautiful feet and toes. In a word I am what everyone says is handsome.
So what is my problem? My problem in a nutshell is my dick and my balls. They have never developed like the other guys my age. They are small and I just want to die every time I have to undress in the locker room. I steel myself for the looks from the other guys as they smirk and smile at my very small equipment. Oh shit sometimes I don’t know how to handle the feelings I get when I watch my friends looking at me in the locker room and the shower room. I want to kill them at the same time I envy what they all have between their legs. Even the Geeks all seem to have bigger dicks than I do and that really sucks. It sucks big time especially for a guy like me.
My dick is about one inch soft and on a good day two inches hard. My balls are like the size of small prunes and have never hung down like some of the other guys in the locker room. Usually I pick a locker that is away from the other guys and hold a towel in front of me while I walk around the locker room and I usually stand at a corner shower and turn my back to the shower room while I take a very quick shower and then get dressed as fast as I can. But they all know and they have all seen me naked. I don’t think I am being paranoid when I say I am sure they all talk about it behind my back. Even the geekiest of the Geeks talk about it.
Until I was about 16 it never really bothered me much at all. I mean I could look around and see the other guys developing but a lot of them were pretty small as well. Not as small as I was but still I thought I would grow. I knew I would grow. After all I was mister stud. Mr. Beautiful. How could I not grow?
But then it became a problem when I began to notice that all the other guys were looking at me kind of funny and weird like. I even overheard a few of them talking about me when they thought I was not around. So I finally got up the nerve to go in and see my swim coach about my "problem".
He listened very closely to what I was saying as I almost burst into tears I was so embarrassed. I had never before in my life felt so alone as I did at that moment. He assured me that it was probably OK and that I would surely grow in the next few years. Needless to say his little pep talk was not much help to me. In fact it made me feel worse than ever. He suggested if I was worried I might want to go see my family doctor. As if!
I thought about asking my dad but I chickened out on that. He was so proud of me in everyone other way. Shit what would he think if he knew that his son had such a small dick. He was always bragging to all his friends about "Chris this"and "Chris that". He came to all my games and meets and I just couldn’t let him down. I couldn’t. I felt so bad about letting him down.
Shit I had even seen him naked a few times and he was big in the crotch department as was my older brother Paul who was 20 and in college. So who could I talk to? No one that was who! Not a single person. There is no one out there for a young guy with a small dick. I certainly couldn’t talk to any of the guys about my problem.
I finally scheduled a physical when I turned 18 with my doctor thinking that maybe he could offer me some advice. That visit went over about as well as my visit with my coach. Here I had gotten up my nerve to go and see him in his office. I had even gotten up the nerve to strip down in front of him and all he could say was, "Chris some guys just have a small penis. There is nothing you can do to make it bigger. Don’t believe any of those ads you might read or what your friends might say. You can’t make your penis any bigger than it is. You just have to accept the fact that your penis is small. It might grow but if I were you I would just get used to the fact that you have small penis and scrotum and get on with your life. You have everything else going for you son so don’t let this one thing ruin your life."
Great Doc that is just what I did not want to hear I said to myself as I fought back the tears. I dressed and went out of his office to my truck where I sat and just cried for twenty minutes. I even drove over to the old railroad bridge and got out of my car and walked out to the middle. I leaned over the side and looked down to the gorge below thinking about jumping off. I almost did it but I chickened out when push came to shove and I saw some of my friends walking over the bridge. I pretended to throw a rock over the side and wiped the tears out of my eyes before they could see I had been crying. I just couldn’t do it and I certainly could never let them see me crying.
And how about dating I thought to myself? Everything was OK until the end of summer when I turned 18. I had always had of girl who wanted to be my girlfriend but was never ready to choose one special girl. After all I was hot and I was a star. All the girls wanted to date Chris Wilson. When I turned 18 I started to get a bit more serious with the ladies and began to make out and even on a few occasions copped a feel or two but nothing more than that. I was getting known as the make out king. I had the reputation of being a great kisser and I had to admit I liked to make out. Putting my tongue in a girls mouth and locking lips was one of my favorite pastimes and it took my mind off my small cock at least for a little while..
At my 18th birthday party I got a bit drunk on vodka and OF. I also smoked a bit of pot and I found myself on a bed in my best friend Larry’s house where we were having my party. I was not a big drinker or smoker at all but this was my birthday after all. I was making out with Cindy Lane and it was going great and I was feeling sweet. She was really pressing her body to mine and she was even letting me reach under her shirt and touch her breasts. I was hot and I was feeling good you might say.
With her help I finally got her bra off and I was fascinated with her boobs. I played with them and kissed them and made her nipples really hard. She took my shirt off and ran her fingers over my hard chest. After some more kissing I took her shorts off and then her panties. I had never seen a girl completely naked before and I just stared at her pussy and her crotch. I never even thought about what she might say about my small dick. It never entered my mind. I wish now that it had but my hormones had completely taken over my sex-muddled brain. She unbuttoned my pants and I pushed them off and then took off my boxer shorts.
I was excited and I was hard. All 2 inches of me! I was dripping precum and I wanted to fuck her so badly but then Cindy looked at my crotch and before she could stop herself she burst out laughing. She was pointing at my dick and laughing. I immediately turned red in the face and my dick went soft although who could tell it was so fucking small. I started crying as I hurriedly put my shorts back on and then my pants, shirt and shoes. I ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs and outside. I ran and ran and ran for miles crying and moaning to myself. I finally collapsed exhausted on someone’s lawn and just wept to myself.
Well it did not take long for Cindy to spread the word around to all the girls in school who promptly told all their boyfriends. Now the whole school knew about the size of my hard cock. Wherever I went I could see people looking at me and then felt them talk about me as I walked by. They would hold up their small pinkie finger when they thought I wasn’t looking. I was so embarrassed. I was red in the face all day long. If I had thought about killing myself before now I really thought about it long and hard. These past six months had been the longest and the hardest that I have ever faced. I felt so alone. I don’t know how I made it through each day pretending to smile and pretending that everything was OK with me. There is no one I can talk to and of course one wants to talk to me about it.
All the guys started avoiding me like the plague. What a great senior year this was going to be I thought to myself! This is supposed to be the best time of my life and all I can think about is killing myself. I tried to throw myself into my homework and my soccer but I just couldn’t take my mind off it. Kind of like when you have a pimple or scab you are always picking at it and touching it. It hurts so much but you just can’t help yourself.
So here I was sitting in my history class thinking about the past six months and about that night with Cindy and I started daydreaming and now the whole class is laughing at me and Mrs. Butler is glaring at me expecting an answer to her question and I had no idea what she had asked me.
"I’m really sorry Mrs. Butler. I - I - I have a lot on my mind right now and I wasn’t paying attention. I’m really sorry," I stammered and stuttered as everyone laughed at me and looked at me. I slunk down in my seat and looked down at the top of the desk for the rest of the period until the bell finally rang.
I waited till everyone had left the room and then got up out of my seat and walked to the door. As I passed Mrs. Butler’s desk she said, "Are you OK Chris?"
"Just some stuff I have to work through Mrs. Butler. I am really sorry about dozing off today," I said.
"OK Chris, if you need someone to talk with I am always here," she added.
Oh yeah right I thought to myself as I left her room. Like I am going to discuss the size of my cock with a 60 year old single lady! As I walked into the hallway I looked up and down to make sure no one was around before heading to my locker. I certainly was not going to lunch after what had happened in Mrs. Butler’s class. It would probably be all over the school in no time. As I passed the entrance to the men’s room I felt my arm being grabbed and saw Larry standing there. He opened the door and pulled me into the men’s room.
"Man come on you are losing it," he said to me still holding onto my arm.
Larry and I had grown up together and we were best friends. We played on the same teams and hung out together. And he had thrown me my ill fated 18th birthday party. He looked at me in the eyes and said, "Look Chris just let it go man!"
"That’s easy for you to say man," I replied. "They weren’t laughing at you were they? They haven’t been talking behind your back and laughing at you for the past six months man so please cut the crap and don’t tell me to let it go." I was defensive and I was hurt because Larry had been laughing at me as well. "Just what am I supposed to do?" I wailed as I leaned back against the bathroom wall tears welling in my eyes.
"Shit man I don’t know what to tell you. You just have to be bigger than they are and ride it out man. Things will calm down. I know they will. I am really sorry for laughing at you back there but you didn’t see the look on your face or the look on Battleaxe Butler’s face. It was a scream man." Larry told me trying to lighten things up.
I could see from the look on his face that he did care about me but still how could I talk about the size of my dick with my best friend? You just didn’t do that I thought to myself.
"OK man just let me go OK," I said at last pulling my arm out of his grip.
I was breathing hard. At that moment I knew that this was the day. It all became clear to me. I would go home and do it. I would kill myself. I had no other choice. I had to end it now before it got out of hand. I couldn’t go on like this and Larry was wrong it wouldn’t die down. He didn’t know. Stuff like this would never die down. I felt bad about letting Mom and Dad and Paul down but they would get over it I supposed.
Larry said, "I am here for you Chris OK. Let’s get together after practice and smoke some bud. OK man? I am your friend. Don’t forget that OK?"
"I’ll see how I feel later," I said to get him off my back but I knew what I had to do. Larry meant well but he just had no idea. After all he had a real dick between his legs and real balls swinging behind it. No one was laughing at him and no one was talking about his dick size all over school.
I watched as Larry turned and left the bathroom. I went over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled at myself and was at peace with my decision. I knew it was for the best. I turned on the cold water and splashed some on my face. I looked up again at my reflection and smiled. It was OK. No big deal I thought. No one is really going to miss me. I dried my face with a paper towel and threw it in the trash and walked out the door and down the hall. I left the building and walked to my truck. I got in and started it up. I felt good! I felt so at peace with myself for the first time in six months! No biggin I thought to myself.
I loved this truck but that couldn’t be helped. Maybe my dad would give it to one of my friends. I put it in gear and drove out of the parking lot towards my house. I was so calm and I felt so good. I would go home and take my fathers gun out of his study where he kept it locked in his desk drawer and just do it. I had seen where he hid the key. First I would have one last jerk off session with my little cock and then I would put the gun in my mouth and blow my brains out. For the first time I really felt like I could do it. I felt like I could go through with it. I had practiced before but this time I was ready.
I was just so tired of living like this. I was tired of keeping it all inside. I felt exhausted keeping all this shit inside. Everyone thought I was all OK but they couldn’t see inside of me. They didn’t know the hell I lived I each and every day. I drove along looking at all the familiar sights that I would no longer see after today. The Burger Bar where I hung out with all the guys.
I drove by Cindy’s house and thought about how it really wasn’t her fault. I mean if I had been her I probably would have laughed as well. I was a freak and my dick was freaky. Who wouldn’t laugh at the freak. I belonged in a sideshow for the whole world to see and point at and stare. They could bill me as "The Man with the Worlds Smallest Dick!" I just knew people would pay good money to see something like that. Most of them would be saying to themselves Jesus he is little. I am glad I am not that small.
I drove by Larry’s house and thought about my best friend. Should I leave him a note or write him an e-mail. No I would just do it. No notes! No e-mails! Yeah he was my best friend and he had tried to help me and talk with me but he just had no idea of the pain I was going through. After all he had a cock that he could be proud of. No one ever laughed at the size of his cock.
Finally, I turned into our driveway and drove around back where I parked in my spot and turned off my truck. I sat in the drivers seat for a few minutes just smelling my truck and smiling. Larry and I had driven all over the place in this truck. We had gone to parties, we had gone to the beach, to practice, to games. It was a good truck and had served me well. I had bought it with my own money when I was 16. I had earned the money cutting lawns and taking care of peoples yards in the neighborhood. My father was so proud of me for saving the money myself. He told all his friends how mature I was for doing that. I could see the pride in his face when he told the story.
I got out and walked into the back door of the house. I knew no one would be home as both my mom and dad worked. I walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter. It was from my mom. She and dad were going out to dinner tonight and would not be home until 11 PM. There was money for pizza on the counter next to the note. She said she loved me and that she would see me later when they returned. She signed the note love Mom and Dad. What would she think when she found my body I thought to myself? I knew she would be distraught. But it just could not be helped. I knew that now. I hated that part but what choice did I have?
I walked into my room and threw my backpack on the chair inside the door. I looked around and saw my familiar room. My double bed all neat and made up just like I left it each morning. My computer and my desk all neat and free of any clutter or papers. All my clothes put away in their proper places. Probably not the room of your typical teenage boy but then I was not your typical teenage boy was I? I was the teenage boy with the teeny tiny dick. I was the FREAK! I was the one everyone was talking about! I was the one everyone was laughing about!
I turned and walked into my fathers study and went to the book shelf and took the key from its hiding place. I went to the desk drawer where I knew he kept the pistol. I put the key in the lock and turned the key and opening the drawer and saw the gun laying there in the drawer and next to it a box of shells. I inserted 2 in the chamber just like he had shown me when we went to the range to shoot targets. He thought everyone should know how to shoot a gun just in case you should ever need to know how. I knew how to shoot the gun. That training would come in handy now. Would my dad feel guilty for showing me how to shoot the gun and for showing me where he kept it in his desk drawer. Would he feel guilty that I had found the key in such an easy hiding place?
I went back into my room. I thought about putting some music on the stereo but decided against it. I liked the silence. It felt good to have silence in the house. Usually I always had some kind of music playing in the background or the TV turned on or the computer turned on. There was always noise of some sort. Even if I was a freak I still was pretty typical in that respect. The silence was blessed. I looked at the clock and it was 1 PM. Larry would not know I was missing until 4 PM. We didn’t have any classes together this afternoon and practice was not until 4 PM. No one else would miss me and Larry would probably just figure I went home although I never ever missed a practice. After all I was the team captain. Everyone looked up to me. At least when they weren’t laughing at me and talking about my 2 inch cock behind my back.
No one would miss me until my parents came home later tonight. I hefted the gun in my hand and felt its weight. I put the barrel in my mouth to see what it was like. The blue steel felt cold on my lips. I set the gun down on the bedside table and looked around my room again. It was a comfortable room I thought to myself. I looked at my wall posters of Johnny Deep, Michael Phelps and Jennifer Lopez. I have lived here since I was a baby. I had grown up in this room and now I would die in the room. It seemed fitting somehow.
I was 18 years and six months old today. This has been my room for that long. I then turned and walked into the bathroom that I shared with my older brother Paul. His room was on the other side and the door to his bedroom was shut and closed. I thought about opening it and looking at his room one final time but decided against that as well. I didn’t want to see his room. I didn’t want to be reminded of my perfect brother with his huge cock. The brother who didn’t let his parents down.
I unzipped the zipper on my jeans. The sound of the zipper was so loud. It almost screamed out as I lowered it. I then reached my hand into the hole and into my boxers and pulled my tiny dick out into the air. I looked down at it between my fingers. God it was small. So fucking small as I held it. Damn was this a cruel joke played by God on me I wondered? I had so much except for this one thing that was so important to me. To all young men.
As I felt my cock and looked at it actually was sort of cute in a very small kind of way. I was used to its size. All you could see was the small purple head and a few stray pubes sticking out of the pee hole in my jeans. I felt my pee start and pointed the eye towards the open bowl. My pee splashed into the bowl with a satisfying sound. I shook my cock off when I was finished and flushed the toilet watching as the water swirled around and around down the drain. I took another look at myself in the mirror and smiled at myself. I had a nice smile I thought. I was truly one good looking guy! If only I didn’t have the world’s smallest cock! If only I wasn’t such a FREAK!
I left the bathroom and walked over to my chair where I had thrown my backpack. I kicked off my sneakers and reached down and placed them under the front of the chair. I then leaned down, while at the same time lifting my leg, and took off each sock one at a time. I smelled each sock and tried to memorize the smell of my feet. I then placed them on the chair. I stripped off my shirt and laid that on top of my socks and then took off my jeans and laid them on the chair as well.
I turned and looked at myself in the mirror on the back of my closet door. I flexed my muscles and my abs and made my stomach hard. I turned this way and that admiring myself in the mirror. If only I could strip off my boxers and find that my dick had suddenly grown into a man sized cock!. Even an inch or two would be OK I thought. I am not asking for much God just an inch or two.
Shit I had prayed that prayer every night for the past several years. God please make my dick grow. Please I will do anything. Damn I thought you are so fine as I looked at myself in the mirror except for one thing. If only I did not have to take off my shorts everything would be OK. But you always had to strip naked at some point in life. Someone would have to see me naked and then it would all start again. I could try and hide it but at some point your life had to become naked.
How would I ever face a woman again I thought to myself? How could I ever possibly find a woman to love me looking like a freak? How could I fuck a woman with a tiny little dick like mine? It would never work I thought. Better to just end it now and save yourself lots of pain and embarrassment later. I pulled my shorts off and brought them to my nose smelling deeply of my man scent. A hint of musk and sweat and a little hint of urine all mixed together. I placed them on the chair and then turned to look at my naked body in the mirror.
God I was beautiful I thought except for what was between my legs. The nothing dick that was between my legs. How could God have given this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I got everything else but why this? I didn’t deserve this I thought. I deserved more. I was a good boy. I loved my parents. I did well in school. I did well at sports. I was a good friend to my friends.
Tears were coming down my face by now as I looked at myself in the mirror. I was looking at the FREAK of Nature. I was seeing what everyone else was seeing when they looked at me. This is what they saw I thought as I took my dick in between my fingers and pulled on it.
"FREAK," I yelled at my image in the mirror, "FREAK," I yelled over and over again.
I tried my best to stretch it out and make it bigger but it didn’t work. It just hurt like hell. I pulled on it till it hurt and then I let it go and it popped back into my pubes almost hidden by my thick forest of hair. I could just see the little tip of the purple knob peaking out from the midst of my pubic hair. I could hardly even see my balls at all they were so small.
"FREAK, FREAK, YOU FUCKING FREAK!!!!" I yelled some more.
I reached down again and started to massage my dick and balls with my hand. It didn’t take long to make me hard. I looked at myself hard in the mirror and could not believe that I was this small. Two inches I thought. Two inches. The tears dripped off my face and hit my chest and my hand as they fell to the floor. I knew it was time. I turned from my refection in the mirror and was starting to walk to my bed when I looked up and was startled, surprised and completely caught off guard by a strange guy I had never seen before standing in the doorway to the bathroom.
Was he real or was this part of some crazy weird dream I was having? He looked at me and he looked at my dick but he wasn’t laughing. He was just looking. Jesus who was he I thought and how the hell did he get in my house? He looked to be about 20 years old and had jet black hair cut short. His eyes were deep dark black and his eyebrows and eyes lashes were black as well. He was standing there in his boxers looking at me looking at him. He was in good shape. Not as good as I was but obviously he worked out.
He looked up away from my dick and into my eyes and he smiled at me.
"Hi my name is John and I am a friend of your brother Paul’s," he said walking across the room holding out his hand to me. "You must be Chris. Paul has told me lots about you!"
I felt myself as if a dream hold out my hand and grip his with mine. As our hands gripped each other I felt electric shocks go up and down my body. What was going on here I thought? Damn this felt weird. I was speechless and stood there like a dork naked as a jay bird in front of a complete stranger.
"Look man Paul dropped me off on his way to Madison to visit a girl he knows. He said he would be back around 10 PM or so. We saw your mom’s note and he said it would be OK if I crashed in his room until he came back. We are going to a party at a friends house tomorrow and I came along for the ride," he said with a grin. "I really didn’t mean to startle you. I fell asleep and then when I heard the toilet flush and well when I heard you screaming at yourself I woke up and came in here and saw you standing in front of the mirror playing with yourself."
"Oh shit man I am sorry," I said getting red in the face from embarrassment as I started to walk to the chair and retrieve my clothes. Now everything was FUCKED! Shit a friend of my brothers had seen me playing with myself and had seen me naked and he was sure to tell my brother. SHIT SHIT SHIT. Just like my shitty rotten life now all my plans were SHIT. This was totally fucked up I thought.
"No wait man you don’t have to put your clothes back on. It’s OK. Really it’s OK! Look man why don’t we jerk off together? I could use a bit of release," he said.
"You want to jerk off with me?" I asked incredulously. "Isn’t that kind of queer? Are you a fucking queer?" I said backing up and covering my crotch with my hand.
"Last time I checked I didn’t think so," John said with a laugh. "Look man from the look on your face and those tears it seems like you could use a friend right now so why not? What do you have to lose? I’ll bet you’ve never even jerked with another guy have you?"
Before I could say anything else he stripped off his boxers and stood there in front of me naked. Holy shit! I stared at his body and especially looked his crotch. While he was in no way as small as I was he also was not very big in the size department. He appeared to be about half hard already and was maybe about 2 inches. He casually reached down and he started to play with himself and I watched as he brought himself to his full erection of maybe about 3 inches long. His balls were small like mine and were drawn up tight against his crotch.
"Hey man it looks like we have a lot in common Chris. Maybe you need a friend to appreciate what you have before you take any drastic actions," he said pointedly looking at the gun on my bedside table as he continued to play with his cock and balls.
Oh shit he knew what I was going to do and he didn’t seem to be upset. He was smiling at me as he walked forward and reached out his hand to stroke my chest. It felt like flames of fire when his fingers traced their way over my hard abs and up across each nipple. He squeezed my nipples one by one and they grew hard and erect. I could feel the heat from his hand and the electric shocks coursing through my body ending up in my tiny dick head.
Oh shit I thought this is so fucking queer. But damn it felt so fucking good. I had wanted to feel good for so long and all I had felt was pain. But damn this was queer what should I do? What was this I thought as I let John explore my upper body with his fingertips? Why am I letting him do this. He ran his finger tips over and around my outed making me gasp out loud and then he slowly traced my treasure trail up and down.
"It’s OK Chris. It doesn’t make you a queer or a fag. You are just experiencing the world. You want to feel good and I can make you feel good. I know what you are going through man. Believe me I have been there. Of all guys you know just look at the size of my dick and you know I have been there with you man. I thought about offing myself as well. They laughed at me and talked about me in school." he said tracing those hot electric finger tips of his across my rock hard abs and along my well defined Apollo’s Belt. This was driving me completely crazy. How could I possibly like this?
"But then a friend showed me that life was more than the size of my cock and he let me feel the pleasure of his love for me. He wasn’t gay and I don’t think I am but what we did together changed my life. And shoot most gay guys I have heard about are real size queens. They are no different than chicks in that department." John was looking me right in the eyes and I felt like I could travel in space and time and just go into those pools of dark black. He seemed so sincere and his voice radiated warmth and love which is something I could sure use at this moment in my life.
"Hell man I don’t know what I am and why do we have to label what we like anyway. I can’t tell you it will ever be easy Chris. I wish I could. Ever since that day with my friend I still have struggled with the size of my cock but I now I know that it is OK. I’m OK. Just let me help you. Let’s just talk and be with each other for a little while and then if you still feel like you want to kill yourself I will leave the house and let you get on with it." John told me.
I didn’t know what to do. I felt so conflicted inside. I was all tied up in knots. I wanted to believe John so badly but this seemed so weird to me. How could having sex with another guy be the way out of my black hole? It just did not seem right. Everyone said it was wrong. My dad hated queers and faggots and all the guys at school tormented anyone they thought might be at all gay. Our preacher had preached about hell and damnation and how all queers and faggots were going to hell and would burn for all eternity. Who should I believe my dad, my friends, my preacher or this guy I had never met before in my life?
Oh what the hell I thought things couldn’t get any worse than they already were and I had to admit for the first time in such a long time I felt good so I reached out my hand to touch John’s chest. It felt good to run my finger tips over the smooth surface of his muscles and across his nipples. Another person with me naked. Jesus I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I think in a way I expected to be struck down by a lightning bolt or something but nothing happened. I continued to explore John’s upper body while keeping an eye on his tiny hard cock down below.
Finally I went for it and ran my hands down into his pubic hairs and onto his cock and balls. It felt so weird to touch another guys cock especially a hard cock. In my 18 years and six months of life I had never imagined this before. I had never even thought about doing this to another guy. It wasn’t even on my radar. Sure I was interesting in all the other guys equipment because I hated mine so much but this was so strange and somehow exciting as well.
John gave a small gasp when my fingers started stroking his cock and my other fingers started to massage his tiny scrotum. It was nice to feel like I was making another person feel so good. Then I felt his hand touch my cock and the electric sparks were flying now. My whole groin area lit up and felt like it was on fire. My head was exploding and I felt faint. This was something I had never felt before. Oh Jesus it felt good to have someone touch my penis and not be laughing at its small size.
We stood there watching each other stroke one another’s cocks for what seemed like a long time. Both of us were leaking some precum on each others hands. We couldn’t use our fists like other guys could but had to be satisfied with using just our finger tips. It was OK. I felt good for the first time in such a long time.
"Oh shit that feels good Chris," John said. "Does it feel good for you as well?"
"Yeah it feels pretty amazing," I replied. " I never imagined I could feel this good before."
"Yeah I felt that way my first time. It just wasn’t on my radar. Killing myself was but not how good this could feel. Look let’s go over and lay on the bed and play with each other for awhile," John said.
Still holding onto each other we walked to the bed and somehow got up on it and lay down without letting go. But it was sort of funny and we both laughed. It felt good to actually laugh again. I hadn’t felt like laughing in the very long six months since my fiasco with Cindy. I knew I had a good laugh and it felt so good all over to be laughing with John as we lay on my bed facing each other playing with each others hard cocks. God I hadn’t laughed like this in a few years.
We looked into each others eyes and finally John moved his head towards mine while taking one of his hands and placing it behind my head. Oh shit I thought what now! He pressed his lips against my closed lips. I didn’t want to kiss him. I held my lips tight together. Shit no! Kiss another man! Oh shit this wasn’t happening but then I felt his tongue push my lips apart and enter my mouth. His breath was hot and warm and sort of salty and he felt good and I found myself opening my mouth and meeting his tongue with mine. Oh shit this couldn’t be happening could it?
More explosions in my brain as we kissed and made out on the bed. We let go of our dicks and instead pressed our bodies tightly together with our arms wrapped around each others backs and heads kissing tightly. Oh shit no girl had ever kissed me like this before. I thought I knew everything about kissing but I knew nothing about this. John was a great kisser and he was patient and kind as we kissed. I was a good kisser but I was learning a few new tricks from him. I could feel his dick pressing hard against mine and it felt so warm and sensual. Two tiny dicks touching each other.
We broke apart and continued to look at each other. He ran his hands across my face and swept my hair off my forehead. He kissed me on the face and told me, "Damn Chris you are a great kisser. I felt like you were going to suck me into your mouth. It was like you were fucking my mouth with your tongue."
I laughed and said, "Jesus man I felt the same way. I was going to tell you the same damn thing!"
"It feels good to laugh doesn’t it," John said
"Yeah it does," I told him sincerely.
"Want to talk about what brought you to your room today," John asked.
It all spilled out then. Everything I had been feeling and thinking for the past several years and especially what had happened at my birthday party with Cindy. I told him everything and it felt so damn good to get it out of me. Finally I could let it out and tell someone how I really felt. John watched me while I spoke and just let me spill it all out. He didn’t comment or speak and that was the right thing to do.
He just let me talk and spill my guts. Tears fell out of my eyes while I was talking and every once in awhile John would reach over and wipe them off my cheeks with his finger tips. Finally I was spent. I had told him everything that was inside. I was amazed that for some reason I no longer felt like a freak around John. He knew how I felt. He knew what I was going to say before I said it. Here was someone who had been through it before and had lived to be with me here on my bed.
We were silent for awhile just looking at each other. Finally I said, "tell me about you if you want to man. I want to know more about you and your.... your.....dick," I stammered.
He started to tell me about his life growing up. It was very similar to mine and to what I had been through. He, however, had avoided the showers and the locker room in high school and never let anyone see his dick. He told me about his girl friends and how he purposefully never went all the way with any of them. He told me about being frustrated and about wanting to kill himself. He told me about the number of times he had almost done it but something always came between him and the knife or the razor blade or the gun.
He finally graduated from his high school hell and went to college and had a roommate that he really liked. They got along great and one day when his guard was down he actually let his friend see him naked. His friend never said a word. He didn’t laugh and most importantly he didn’t tell anyone. He acted like a friend and just went about his business. He invited him to play basketball or go swimming and changed next to him in the locker room. They went out to eat and to the movies and drinking together. In a way his roommate became a sort of protector of sorts and it felt good when he was around. John said he felt good about himself for the first time in his life and he let his guard down.
His roommate even suggested they double date and they went out a few times with different girls. It was all innocent and fun and they had some good laughs. Finally at one point his roommate told him that one of the girls really liked him and she really wanted to sleep with him. John made the comment about how that would never happen and I think you know why. But he finally gave in to his roommate and his girlfriends repeated requests to go for it. He didn’t want to do it. He was afraid of what might happen.
John took a deep breath at this point and I saw he was crying. I leaned forward and kissed the tears from his cheeks and it felt good. Salty but good. "Thanks for listening Chris. It feels so good to get this out. I have only told one other person before." he said through his tears.
"So we went out and we had a good time and we went to her place and necked and fooled around for a long time. I was putting it off but she wanted me. I felt good as well and though it might just work. I took off her clothes and she was beautiful. She took off my clothes down to my boxers and we kissed some more. I was hot and definitely very horny and she was definitely hot. So I decided to go for it and I took off my boxers. She looked liked she would cry out when she saw my tiny dick and then she started laughing. She told me she wondered why I would not sleep with her before now and that now she knew why. There was no way this was going to work. She asked me to leave."
"I was so humiliated. I was so down and so depressed as I put on my clothes with my back to her. I turned and walked out the door without even looking at her again. I had never felt so low. I was beating myself up for even trying. I knew this would happen. Why did I let myself be talked into it anyway? At that moment I hated myself and I hated my roommate so much. I wanted to kill him but I wanted to kill myself even more. I knew I had to do it and this was the time. I would go and do it in our dorm room so that when he came in he would find me and then he would know what he had done to me. I would punish him for making me do this. He would know and I hoped he remembered it forever. I wanted to hurt him so bad."
"I was crying and I was mad and I was hurt all at the same time. All I could think about was slashing my wrist and seeing my blood gush out on the floor and on the bed. Maybe I would do it in his bed to really get back at him I thought as I walked back to my dorm room. I made it back to the room and stripped out of my clothes. I wanted to be naked when I killed myself. I wanted him to walk in and see my tiny dick and see me naked and know why I had killed myself."
"I found my single blade razor blades in my dresser drawer and sat down on his bed. I scooted over to the wall and held my wrist out and put the razor against my flesh. I pressed down lightly and saw some blood come out. It felt good to see my blood. At that moment the door to our room burst open and he stood there looking at me."
"Damn John don’t do this," he said as he raced across the room and grabbed my wrist taking the razor blade out of my finger tips and throwing it across the room. He was strong, much stronger than I had thought.
He sat beside me on the bed and I saw that he was crying. "Damn man please don’t."
He took me in his arms and hugged me but I just sort of flopped there in his embrace. "Look Mary called Sally and told her what happened. She is so embarrassed and sorry for making fun of you. I know you don’t believe it but she really is. I am still pissed at her. I gave her more credit than that. Shit I can’t believe it man. You don’t deserve it. You have enough to worry about without that kind of crap."
He hugged me even tighter and I finally responded to his embrace and put my arms around his back and began to cry my heart out. I couldn’t talk but I cried and cried and he hugged me and kept telling me how much he loved me and couldn’t have stood it if I had killed myself. Before I knew what was happened I felt his hand on my cock and he was touching it gently. No one besides myself had ever touched my cock before and I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Oh Jesus it felt so good to be held and be touched at the same time. But damn this was so queer I thought.
I didn’t even get it that it was a guy touching me until I was hard and aching. "You just need someone to really love you John and tell you how special you are. I thought you knew it but I am sorry I was wrong. Just lay back and let me show you," he said.
I lay back on his bed as he instructed and watched as he removed his shirt and stripped naked. His dick was soft but even so was about 4-5 inches long. He lay down next to me and started kissing me and touching me. I didn’t know what to do so I just lay there and let the sexual pleasures I was feeling for the first time overtake me. I moaned and I groaned as he touched my cock and my balls.
"Look John this is my first time so forgive me if I mess up. Just tell me what you like OK," he told me looking into my eyes.
"Your first time," I said. "You would do this for me? I don’t understand. "
"Hell yes man that is what friends are for. I would do anything for you man. Shit I have never even thought about doing this with another guy but if this is what I need to do to show you that there is a reason to live then shit what the hell." he said with this big goofy grin on his face.
I couldn’t believe it. Just a few minutes before I had wanted to punish this guy and now he was willing to suck on my cock to show me what friendship was all about. Oh God I couldn’t believe it. I let him kiss and lick my nipples and then he found his way down to my cock and balls. He may not have know what it was to love another man but he knew what it was to be a lover.
He caressed me and he loved my body in a way I didn’t think was possible. He took my cock into his mouth and licked it all over and sucked it. Oh it felt good. I had never felt this good ever before. Before I knew what was happening I felt my groin muscles contract and I shot off 3 small loads in his mouth. I couldn’t help myself it felt so good and I was not used to sex. He didn’t flinch or say gross or anything. He just kept on sucking my cock until I was finished, exhausted and completely spent.
He looked up at me and said, "not as bad tasting as I thought it might be. Damn man my fist taste of jizz! Was it OK for you John?"
"Yeah it was great. Sorry I came so quickly," I replied. "You are an amazing lover man."
We started kissing again and he told me over and over how much he loved me and how he wanted me to live and get through this. He knew it must be horrible to be born with such a small dick but he knew that there was someone out there who would love me for who I was and not just for the size of my dick. I found myself reaching down between his legs where I found his limp dick and squeezed it. He lay back on the bed and let me explore his cock and balls to my hearts content.
"Just think of it as yours for the night," he told me with a wicked sexy grin as I made him hard. His dick grew to be about 6 inches long which I knew was average but to me it was so huge, so gigantic, so enormous.
I pushed on it and I pulled on it. I smelled it and I licked it. I touched it and watched it. I touched his sagging balls and kissed them as well. He groaned when I put them in my mouth and pressed them with my lips. He let me suck on him and masturbate him and finally bring him off with a moan. He didn’t shoot much of a load as he had probably already cum with Sally earlier. I drank his jizz as he did with mine.
Afterwards we just lay in his bed kissing each other and holding and hugging each other. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt as if I could face the world again and I felt like I wanted to live. God what would I have done if he hadn’t left his girlfriend and come searching for me. If he hadn’t found me when he did I would be dead by now. I wanted to hurt him so badly and look what he had done for me.
John took a deep breath and looked at Chris and said, "Do you know who that person was?"
Chris croaked as the realization of who it was came to him. "It was my brother Paul wasn’t it?"
"Yeah, he saved my life and I owe him everything. I would do anything for him man even sleep with his little brother with this little tiny cock," he said taking my prick in his hand.
"He knew you were hurting after Larry called him a few weeks ago. He just didn’t know what to do. He has been worrying for the past two weeks about you. He wanted to call you but wasn’t sure how you would take it if you knew he knew. He felt like he couldn’t sleep with you himself and he didn’t think you needed a lecture on how ‘This too Shall Pass’." John told me.
"Larry called him about me?" I said incredulously.
"Yeah Larry is your friend man. Maybe not like Paul was for me but he really cared about you so he did the only thing he could think of and he called Paul. Finally, I told Paul that I would try and talk with you as I knew that out of anyone I would know what shit you were going through and what it was like to have a small prick it’s me. I thought maybe you would listen to me."
"So we came home today and I was going to try and find some way to talk with you tonight when you came home. We knew your parents would be out of town so we thought I would have some time. We weren’t sure how exactly all that would happen but we thought it was worth a try. Like I said your friend Larry really deserves the credit for calling your brother. If he hadn’t done that then none of this would have happened and I am sure you would be dead now. He must be a true friend," John said.
Oh God I thought how I had treated him today in the men’s room when he tried to tell me he cared about me. But when you are at the bottom you just can’t see how anyone could care about you or your problems. Your problems are everything and nothing else matters in your world. It is like a huge black hole. Oh God I thought how close I had come to fucking up my life and the lives of all those people who loved me. How stupid I was. How selfish I was.
"So are you and Paul lovers now?" I asked.
"No, we did it just that one night. But I know if I need him he would be there for me. We hug a lot and I am not afraid to be naked around him and we even jerk off together sometimes. I am going out again and feel like I can face this and learn from it and go on with my life. Yeah I got a dirty deal when it came to pricks and you did too but now at least I have you I can talk to and make fun of for this tiny thing," he said with a laugh as he squeezed my little dick.
I laughed with him as we watched him touch my cock. Suddenly the size of my cock did not matter as much any more. Oh yeah I would be lying if I said it did not matter at all but for the first time in a long time I felt loved as I lay back on the bed and John took my cock in his mouth. Oh shit that felt good as he worked on me. It felt so good and I needed to feel good right now...........
"Mr. Wilson! Mr. Wilson. Can you hear me Mr. Wilson! Come in Mr. Wilson! Earth to Mr. Wilson!!!"
Then the laughter started and I came awake and opened my eyes to see the entire class looking at me and laughing as Mrs. Butler, our history teacher, stood there by my desk calling my name. I had been off in a dream world and had not heard her ask me a question. I started to turn red with embarrassment.
I am usually a great student in fact I have almost straight A’s in all my classes. I am also what you might call a jock seeing as I am the captain of our high school soccer team, swim team and tennis team. I am also a senior at Cadberry County High School and I am 18 years and six months old and believe me I counted those six months. I was so happy to have finally turned 18 six months ago.
My name is Chris Wilson and to tell you a little about myself I am a very popular guy with loads of friends. I am smart, I am a jock and I am quite good looking if I must say so myself. So why was I lost in a day dream in Mrs. Butler’s history of the world class? Why did I wake up to find everyone laughing at me and my face turning bright red. I felt like I wanted to crawl in a hole and die I was so embarrassed.
Lately I have been so depressed. On the outside I am mister perfect who has the perfect life, the perfect family, perfect grades, perfect friends. People look up to me and respect me. Both adults and my peers. I have blond hair and I don’t mean dirty blond I mean really blond and gorgeous. Everyone loves my hair. I wear it a bit on the long side and am always tossing my head to get my hair off my face. My face looks like a models face with puffy sensuous lips, two big dimples when I smile, large pearly white teeth and blue eyes surrounded by long sexy eye lashes. In a word I am beautiful and I know it. Everyone knows it. Everyone has told me how beautiful I am for as long as I can remember.
I am about 6 feet 6 inches tall with long arms with great muscles from working out in the gym after school everyday. I have a great and very distinctive six pack that is the envy of every guy in the locker room and in the entire school. I know people watch me when I take off my shirt just to get a look and I get off on their getting off on how great I look. Shit it feels good to be admired. My nipples are large and well pronounced and my aureoles are dime sized and pinkish tan. I have a wonderful Apollo’s Belt with beautiful large veins cris crossing it on their way into my crotch.
Although I am naturally practically hairless I do have a slight treasure trail going from my outed down to my curly blond pubes which I keep trimmed. My legs are long and I must admit they are fine with well developed calf muscles and a very slight covering of very fine blond hairs that accentuate my legs natural tanned look. My gorgeous legs end with a pair of beautiful feet and toes. In a word I am what everyone says is handsome.
So what is my problem? My problem in a nutshell is my dick and my balls. They have never developed like the other guys my age. They are small and I just want to die every time I have to undress in the locker room. I steel myself for the looks from the other guys as they smirk and smile at my very small equipment. Oh shit sometimes I don’t know how to handle the feelings I get when I watch my friends looking at me in the locker room and the shower room. I want to kill them at the same time I envy what they all have between their legs. Even the Geeks all seem to have bigger dicks than I do and that really sucks. It sucks big time especially for a guy like me.
My dick is about one inch soft and on a good day two inches hard. My balls are like the size of small prunes and have never hung down like some of the other guys in the locker room. Usually I pick a locker that is away from the other guys and hold a towel in front of me while I walk around the locker room and I usually stand at a corner shower and turn my back to the shower room while I take a very quick shower and then get dressed as fast as I can. But they all know and they have all seen me naked. I don’t think I am being paranoid when I say I am sure they all talk about it behind my back. Even the geekiest of the Geeks talk about it.
Until I was about 16 it never really bothered me much at all. I mean I could look around and see the other guys developing but a lot of them were pretty small as well. Not as small as I was but still I thought I would grow. I knew I would grow. After all I was mister stud. Mr. Beautiful. How could I not grow?
But then it became a problem when I began to notice that all the other guys were looking at me kind of funny and weird like. I even overheard a few of them talking about me when they thought I was not around. So I finally got up the nerve to go in and see my swim coach about my "problem".
He listened very closely to what I was saying as I almost burst into tears I was so embarrassed. I had never before in my life felt so alone as I did at that moment. He assured me that it was probably OK and that I would surely grow in the next few years. Needless to say his little pep talk was not much help to me. In fact it made me feel worse than ever. He suggested if I was worried I might want to go see my family doctor. As if!
I thought about asking my dad but I chickened out on that. He was so proud of me in everyone other way. Shit what would he think if he knew that his son had such a small dick. He was always bragging to all his friends about "Chris this"and "Chris that". He came to all my games and meets and I just couldn’t let him down. I couldn’t. I felt so bad about letting him down.
Shit I had even seen him naked a few times and he was big in the crotch department as was my older brother Paul who was 20 and in college. So who could I talk to? No one that was who! Not a single person. There is no one out there for a young guy with a small dick. I certainly couldn’t talk to any of the guys about my problem.
I finally scheduled a physical when I turned 18 with my doctor thinking that maybe he could offer me some advice. That visit went over about as well as my visit with my coach. Here I had gotten up my nerve to go and see him in his office. I had even gotten up the nerve to strip down in front of him and all he could say was, "Chris some guys just have a small penis. There is nothing you can do to make it bigger. Don’t believe any of those ads you might read or what your friends might say. You can’t make your penis any bigger than it is. You just have to accept the fact that your penis is small. It might grow but if I were you I would just get used to the fact that you have small penis and scrotum and get on with your life. You have everything else going for you son so don’t let this one thing ruin your life."
Great Doc that is just what I did not want to hear I said to myself as I fought back the tears. I dressed and went out of his office to my truck where I sat and just cried for twenty minutes. I even drove over to the old railroad bridge and got out of my car and walked out to the middle. I leaned over the side and looked down to the gorge below thinking about jumping off. I almost did it but I chickened out when push came to shove and I saw some of my friends walking over the bridge. I pretended to throw a rock over the side and wiped the tears out of my eyes before they could see I had been crying. I just couldn’t do it and I certainly could never let them see me crying.
And how about dating I thought to myself? Everything was OK until the end of summer when I turned 18. I had always had of girl who wanted to be my girlfriend but was never ready to choose one special girl. After all I was hot and I was a star. All the girls wanted to date Chris Wilson. When I turned 18 I started to get a bit more serious with the ladies and began to make out and even on a few occasions copped a feel or two but nothing more than that. I was getting known as the make out king. I had the reputation of being a great kisser and I had to admit I liked to make out. Putting my tongue in a girls mouth and locking lips was one of my favorite pastimes and it took my mind off my small cock at least for a little while..
At my 18th birthday party I got a bit drunk on vodka and OF. I also smoked a bit of pot and I found myself on a bed in my best friend Larry’s house where we were having my party. I was not a big drinker or smoker at all but this was my birthday after all. I was making out with Cindy Lane and it was going great and I was feeling sweet. She was really pressing her body to mine and she was even letting me reach under her shirt and touch her breasts. I was hot and I was feeling good you might say.
With her help I finally got her bra off and I was fascinated with her boobs. I played with them and kissed them and made her nipples really hard. She took my shirt off and ran her fingers over my hard chest. After some more kissing I took her shorts off and then her panties. I had never seen a girl completely naked before and I just stared at her pussy and her crotch. I never even thought about what she might say about my small dick. It never entered my mind. I wish now that it had but my hormones had completely taken over my sex-muddled brain. She unbuttoned my pants and I pushed them off and then took off my boxer shorts.
I was excited and I was hard. All 2 inches of me! I was dripping precum and I wanted to fuck her so badly but then Cindy looked at my crotch and before she could stop herself she burst out laughing. She was pointing at my dick and laughing. I immediately turned red in the face and my dick went soft although who could tell it was so fucking small. I started crying as I hurriedly put my shorts back on and then my pants, shirt and shoes. I ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs and outside. I ran and ran and ran for miles crying and moaning to myself. I finally collapsed exhausted on someone’s lawn and just wept to myself.
Well it did not take long for Cindy to spread the word around to all the girls in school who promptly told all their boyfriends. Now the whole school knew about the size of my hard cock. Wherever I went I could see people looking at me and then felt them talk about me as I walked by. They would hold up their small pinkie finger when they thought I wasn’t looking. I was so embarrassed. I was red in the face all day long. If I had thought about killing myself before now I really thought about it long and hard. These past six months had been the longest and the hardest that I have ever faced. I felt so alone. I don’t know how I made it through each day pretending to smile and pretending that everything was OK with me. There is no one I can talk to and of course one wants to talk to me about it.
All the guys started avoiding me like the plague. What a great senior year this was going to be I thought to myself! This is supposed to be the best time of my life and all I can think about is killing myself. I tried to throw myself into my homework and my soccer but I just couldn’t take my mind off it. Kind of like when you have a pimple or scab you are always picking at it and touching it. It hurts so much but you just can’t help yourself.
So here I was sitting in my history class thinking about the past six months and about that night with Cindy and I started daydreaming and now the whole class is laughing at me and Mrs. Butler is glaring at me expecting an answer to her question and I had no idea what she had asked me.
"I’m really sorry Mrs. Butler. I - I - I have a lot on my mind right now and I wasn’t paying attention. I’m really sorry," I stammered and stuttered as everyone laughed at me and looked at me. I slunk down in my seat and looked down at the top of the desk for the rest of the period until the bell finally rang.
I waited till everyone had left the room and then got up out of my seat and walked to the door. As I passed Mrs. Butler’s desk she said, "Are you OK Chris?"
"Just some stuff I have to work through Mrs. Butler. I am really sorry about dozing off today," I said.
"OK Chris, if you need someone to talk with I am always here," she added.
Oh yeah right I thought to myself as I left her room. Like I am going to discuss the size of my cock with a 60 year old single lady! As I walked into the hallway I looked up and down to make sure no one was around before heading to my locker. I certainly was not going to lunch after what had happened in Mrs. Butler’s class. It would probably be all over the school in no time. As I passed the entrance to the men’s room I felt my arm being grabbed and saw Larry standing there. He opened the door and pulled me into the men’s room.
"Man come on you are losing it," he said to me still holding onto my arm.
Larry and I had grown up together and we were best friends. We played on the same teams and hung out together. And he had thrown me my ill fated 18th birthday party. He looked at me in the eyes and said, "Look Chris just let it go man!"
"That’s easy for you to say man," I replied. "They weren’t laughing at you were they? They haven’t been talking behind your back and laughing at you for the past six months man so please cut the crap and don’t tell me to let it go." I was defensive and I was hurt because Larry had been laughing at me as well. "Just what am I supposed to do?" I wailed as I leaned back against the bathroom wall tears welling in my eyes.
"Shit man I don’t know what to tell you. You just have to be bigger than they are and ride it out man. Things will calm down. I know they will. I am really sorry for laughing at you back there but you didn’t see the look on your face or the look on Battleaxe Butler’s face. It was a scream man." Larry told me trying to lighten things up.
I could see from the look on his face that he did care about me but still how could I talk about the size of my dick with my best friend? You just didn’t do that I thought to myself.
"OK man just let me go OK," I said at last pulling my arm out of his grip.
I was breathing hard. At that moment I knew that this was the day. It all became clear to me. I would go home and do it. I would kill myself. I had no other choice. I had to end it now before it got out of hand. I couldn’t go on like this and Larry was wrong it wouldn’t die down. He didn’t know. Stuff like this would never die down. I felt bad about letting Mom and Dad and Paul down but they would get over it I supposed.
Larry said, "I am here for you Chris OK. Let’s get together after practice and smoke some bud. OK man? I am your friend. Don’t forget that OK?"
"I’ll see how I feel later," I said to get him off my back but I knew what I had to do. Larry meant well but he just had no idea. After all he had a real dick between his legs and real balls swinging behind it. No one was laughing at him and no one was talking about his dick size all over school.
I watched as Larry turned and left the bathroom. I went over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled at myself and was at peace with my decision. I knew it was for the best. I turned on the cold water and splashed some on my face. I looked up again at my reflection and smiled. It was OK. No big deal I thought. No one is really going to miss me. I dried my face with a paper towel and threw it in the trash and walked out the door and down the hall. I left the building and walked to my truck. I got in and started it up. I felt good! I felt so at peace with myself for the first time in six months! No biggin I thought to myself.
I loved this truck but that couldn’t be helped. Maybe my dad would give it to one of my friends. I put it in gear and drove out of the parking lot towards my house. I was so calm and I felt so good. I would go home and take my fathers gun out of his study where he kept it locked in his desk drawer and just do it. I had seen where he hid the key. First I would have one last jerk off session with my little cock and then I would put the gun in my mouth and blow my brains out. For the first time I really felt like I could do it. I felt like I could go through with it. I had practiced before but this time I was ready.
I was just so tired of living like this. I was tired of keeping it all inside. I felt exhausted keeping all this shit inside. Everyone thought I was all OK but they couldn’t see inside of me. They didn’t know the hell I lived I each and every day. I drove along looking at all the familiar sights that I would no longer see after today. The Burger Bar where I hung out with all the guys.
I drove by Cindy’s house and thought about how it really wasn’t her fault. I mean if I had been her I probably would have laughed as well. I was a freak and my dick was freaky. Who wouldn’t laugh at the freak. I belonged in a sideshow for the whole world to see and point at and stare. They could bill me as "The Man with the Worlds Smallest Dick!" I just knew people would pay good money to see something like that. Most of them would be saying to themselves Jesus he is little. I am glad I am not that small.
I drove by Larry’s house and thought about my best friend. Should I leave him a note or write him an e-mail. No I would just do it. No notes! No e-mails! Yeah he was my best friend and he had tried to help me and talk with me but he just had no idea of the pain I was going through. After all he had a cock that he could be proud of. No one ever laughed at the size of his cock.
Finally, I turned into our driveway and drove around back where I parked in my spot and turned off my truck. I sat in the drivers seat for a few minutes just smelling my truck and smiling. Larry and I had driven all over the place in this truck. We had gone to parties, we had gone to the beach, to practice, to games. It was a good truck and had served me well. I had bought it with my own money when I was 16. I had earned the money cutting lawns and taking care of peoples yards in the neighborhood. My father was so proud of me for saving the money myself. He told all his friends how mature I was for doing that. I could see the pride in his face when he told the story.
I got out and walked into the back door of the house. I knew no one would be home as both my mom and dad worked. I walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter. It was from my mom. She and dad were going out to dinner tonight and would not be home until 11 PM. There was money for pizza on the counter next to the note. She said she loved me and that she would see me later when they returned. She signed the note love Mom and Dad. What would she think when she found my body I thought to myself? I knew she would be distraught. But it just could not be helped. I knew that now. I hated that part but what choice did I have?
I walked into my room and threw my backpack on the chair inside the door. I looked around and saw my familiar room. My double bed all neat and made up just like I left it each morning. My computer and my desk all neat and free of any clutter or papers. All my clothes put away in their proper places. Probably not the room of your typical teenage boy but then I was not your typical teenage boy was I? I was the teenage boy with the teeny tiny dick. I was the FREAK! I was the one everyone was talking about! I was the one everyone was laughing about!
I turned and walked into my fathers study and went to the book shelf and took the key from its hiding place. I went to the desk drawer where I knew he kept the pistol. I put the key in the lock and turned the key and opening the drawer and saw the gun laying there in the drawer and next to it a box of shells. I inserted 2 in the chamber just like he had shown me when we went to the range to shoot targets. He thought everyone should know how to shoot a gun just in case you should ever need to know how. I knew how to shoot the gun. That training would come in handy now. Would my dad feel guilty for showing me how to shoot the gun and for showing me where he kept it in his desk drawer. Would he feel guilty that I had found the key in such an easy hiding place?
I went back into my room. I thought about putting some music on the stereo but decided against it. I liked the silence. It felt good to have silence in the house. Usually I always had some kind of music playing in the background or the TV turned on or the computer turned on. There was always noise of some sort. Even if I was a freak I still was pretty typical in that respect. The silence was blessed. I looked at the clock and it was 1 PM. Larry would not know I was missing until 4 PM. We didn’t have any classes together this afternoon and practice was not until 4 PM. No one else would miss me and Larry would probably just figure I went home although I never ever missed a practice. After all I was the team captain. Everyone looked up to me. At least when they weren’t laughing at me and talking about my 2 inch cock behind my back.
No one would miss me until my parents came home later tonight. I hefted the gun in my hand and felt its weight. I put the barrel in my mouth to see what it was like. The blue steel felt cold on my lips. I set the gun down on the bedside table and looked around my room again. It was a comfortable room I thought to myself. I looked at my wall posters of Johnny Deep, Michael Phelps and Jennifer Lopez. I have lived here since I was a baby. I had grown up in this room and now I would die in the room. It seemed fitting somehow.
I was 18 years and six months old today. This has been my room for that long. I then turned and walked into the bathroom that I shared with my older brother Paul. His room was on the other side and the door to his bedroom was shut and closed. I thought about opening it and looking at his room one final time but decided against that as well. I didn’t want to see his room. I didn’t want to be reminded of my perfect brother with his huge cock. The brother who didn’t let his parents down.
I unzipped the zipper on my jeans. The sound of the zipper was so loud. It almost screamed out as I lowered it. I then reached my hand into the hole and into my boxers and pulled my tiny dick out into the air. I looked down at it between my fingers. God it was small. So fucking small as I held it. Damn was this a cruel joke played by God on me I wondered? I had so much except for this one thing that was so important to me. To all young men.
As I felt my cock and looked at it actually was sort of cute in a very small kind of way. I was used to its size. All you could see was the small purple head and a few stray pubes sticking out of the pee hole in my jeans. I felt my pee start and pointed the eye towards the open bowl. My pee splashed into the bowl with a satisfying sound. I shook my cock off when I was finished and flushed the toilet watching as the water swirled around and around down the drain. I took another look at myself in the mirror and smiled at myself. I had a nice smile I thought. I was truly one good looking guy! If only I didn’t have the world’s smallest cock! If only I wasn’t such a FREAK!
I left the bathroom and walked over to my chair where I had thrown my backpack. I kicked off my sneakers and reached down and placed them under the front of the chair. I then leaned down, while at the same time lifting my leg, and took off each sock one at a time. I smelled each sock and tried to memorize the smell of my feet. I then placed them on the chair. I stripped off my shirt and laid that on top of my socks and then took off my jeans and laid them on the chair as well.
I turned and looked at myself in the mirror on the back of my closet door. I flexed my muscles and my abs and made my stomach hard. I turned this way and that admiring myself in the mirror. If only I could strip off my boxers and find that my dick had suddenly grown into a man sized cock!. Even an inch or two would be OK I thought. I am not asking for much God just an inch or two.
Shit I had prayed that prayer every night for the past several years. God please make my dick grow. Please I will do anything. Damn I thought you are so fine as I looked at myself in the mirror except for one thing. If only I did not have to take off my shorts everything would be OK. But you always had to strip naked at some point in life. Someone would have to see me naked and then it would all start again. I could try and hide it but at some point your life had to become naked.
How would I ever face a woman again I thought to myself? How could I ever possibly find a woman to love me looking like a freak? How could I fuck a woman with a tiny little dick like mine? It would never work I thought. Better to just end it now and save yourself lots of pain and embarrassment later. I pulled my shorts off and brought them to my nose smelling deeply of my man scent. A hint of musk and sweat and a little hint of urine all mixed together. I placed them on the chair and then turned to look at my naked body in the mirror.
God I was beautiful I thought except for what was between my legs. The nothing dick that was between my legs. How could God have given this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I got everything else but why this? I didn’t deserve this I thought. I deserved more. I was a good boy. I loved my parents. I did well in school. I did well at sports. I was a good friend to my friends.
Tears were coming down my face by now as I looked at myself in the mirror. I was looking at the FREAK of Nature. I was seeing what everyone else was seeing when they looked at me. This is what they saw I thought as I took my dick in between my fingers and pulled on it.
"FREAK," I yelled at my image in the mirror, "FREAK," I yelled over and over again.
I tried my best to stretch it out and make it bigger but it didn’t work. It just hurt like hell. I pulled on it till it hurt and then I let it go and it popped back into my pubes almost hidden by my thick forest of hair. I could just see the little tip of the purple knob peaking out from the midst of my pubic hair. I could hardly even see my balls at all they were so small.
"FREAK, FREAK, YOU FUCKING FREAK!!!!" I yelled some more.
I reached down again and started to massage my dick and balls with my hand. It didn’t take long to make me hard. I looked at myself hard in the mirror and could not believe that I was this small. Two inches I thought. Two inches. The tears dripped off my face and hit my chest and my hand as they fell to the floor. I knew it was time. I turned from my refection in the mirror and was starting to walk to my bed when I looked up and was startled, surprised and completely caught off guard by a strange guy I had never seen before standing in the doorway to the bathroom.
Was he real or was this part of some crazy weird dream I was having? He looked at me and he looked at my dick but he wasn’t laughing. He was just looking. Jesus who was he I thought and how the hell did he get in my house? He looked to be about 20 years old and had jet black hair cut short. His eyes were deep dark black and his eyebrows and eyes lashes were black as well. He was standing there in his boxers looking at me looking at him. He was in good shape. Not as good as I was but obviously he worked out.
He looked up away from my dick and into my eyes and he smiled at me.
"Hi my name is John and I am a friend of your brother Paul’s," he said walking across the room holding out his hand to me. "You must be Chris. Paul has told me lots about you!"
I felt myself as if a dream hold out my hand and grip his with mine. As our hands gripped each other I felt electric shocks go up and down my body. What was going on here I thought? Damn this felt weird. I was speechless and stood there like a dork naked as a jay bird in front of a complete stranger.
"Look man Paul dropped me off on his way to Madison to visit a girl he knows. He said he would be back around 10 PM or so. We saw your mom’s note and he said it would be OK if I crashed in his room until he came back. We are going to a party at a friends house tomorrow and I came along for the ride," he said with a grin. "I really didn’t mean to startle you. I fell asleep and then when I heard the toilet flush and well when I heard you screaming at yourself I woke up and came in here and saw you standing in front of the mirror playing with yourself."
"Oh shit man I am sorry," I said getting red in the face from embarrassment as I started to walk to the chair and retrieve my clothes. Now everything was FUCKED! Shit a friend of my brothers had seen me playing with myself and had seen me naked and he was sure to tell my brother. SHIT SHIT SHIT. Just like my shitty rotten life now all my plans were SHIT. This was totally fucked up I thought.
"No wait man you don’t have to put your clothes back on. It’s OK. Really it’s OK! Look man why don’t we jerk off together? I could use a bit of release," he said.
"You want to jerk off with me?" I asked incredulously. "Isn’t that kind of queer? Are you a fucking queer?" I said backing up and covering my crotch with my hand.
"Last time I checked I didn’t think so," John said with a laugh. "Look man from the look on your face and those tears it seems like you could use a friend right now so why not? What do you have to lose? I’ll bet you’ve never even jerked with another guy have you?"
Before I could say anything else he stripped off his boxers and stood there in front of me naked. Holy shit! I stared at his body and especially looked his crotch. While he was in no way as small as I was he also was not very big in the size department. He appeared to be about half hard already and was maybe about 2 inches. He casually reached down and he started to play with himself and I watched as he brought himself to his full erection of maybe about 3 inches long. His balls were small like mine and were drawn up tight against his crotch.
"Hey man it looks like we have a lot in common Chris. Maybe you need a friend to appreciate what you have before you take any drastic actions," he said pointedly looking at the gun on my bedside table as he continued to play with his cock and balls.
Oh shit he knew what I was going to do and he didn’t seem to be upset. He was smiling at me as he walked forward and reached out his hand to stroke my chest. It felt like flames of fire when his fingers traced their way over my hard abs and up across each nipple. He squeezed my nipples one by one and they grew hard and erect. I could feel the heat from his hand and the electric shocks coursing through my body ending up in my tiny dick head.
Oh shit I thought this is so fucking queer. But damn it felt so fucking good. I had wanted to feel good for so long and all I had felt was pain. But damn this was queer what should I do? What was this I thought as I let John explore my upper body with his fingertips? Why am I letting him do this. He ran his finger tips over and around my outed making me gasp out loud and then he slowly traced my treasure trail up and down.
"It’s OK Chris. It doesn’t make you a queer or a fag. You are just experiencing the world. You want to feel good and I can make you feel good. I know what you are going through man. Believe me I have been there. Of all guys you know just look at the size of my dick and you know I have been there with you man. I thought about offing myself as well. They laughed at me and talked about me in school." he said tracing those hot electric finger tips of his across my rock hard abs and along my well defined Apollo’s Belt. This was driving me completely crazy. How could I possibly like this?
"But then a friend showed me that life was more than the size of my cock and he let me feel the pleasure of his love for me. He wasn’t gay and I don’t think I am but what we did together changed my life. And shoot most gay guys I have heard about are real size queens. They are no different than chicks in that department." John was looking me right in the eyes and I felt like I could travel in space and time and just go into those pools of dark black. He seemed so sincere and his voice radiated warmth and love which is something I could sure use at this moment in my life.
"Hell man I don’t know what I am and why do we have to label what we like anyway. I can’t tell you it will ever be easy Chris. I wish I could. Ever since that day with my friend I still have struggled with the size of my cock but I now I know that it is OK. I’m OK. Just let me help you. Let’s just talk and be with each other for a little while and then if you still feel like you want to kill yourself I will leave the house and let you get on with it." John told me.
I didn’t know what to do. I felt so conflicted inside. I was all tied up in knots. I wanted to believe John so badly but this seemed so weird to me. How could having sex with another guy be the way out of my black hole? It just did not seem right. Everyone said it was wrong. My dad hated queers and faggots and all the guys at school tormented anyone they thought might be at all gay. Our preacher had preached about hell and damnation and how all queers and faggots were going to hell and would burn for all eternity. Who should I believe my dad, my friends, my preacher or this guy I had never met before in my life?
Oh what the hell I thought things couldn’t get any worse than they already were and I had to admit for the first time in such a long time I felt good so I reached out my hand to touch John’s chest. It felt good to run my finger tips over the smooth surface of his muscles and across his nipples. Another person with me naked. Jesus I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I think in a way I expected to be struck down by a lightning bolt or something but nothing happened. I continued to explore John’s upper body while keeping an eye on his tiny hard cock down below.
Finally I went for it and ran my hands down into his pubic hairs and onto his cock and balls. It felt so weird to touch another guys cock especially a hard cock. In my 18 years and six months of life I had never imagined this before. I had never even thought about doing this to another guy. It wasn’t even on my radar. Sure I was interesting in all the other guys equipment because I hated mine so much but this was so strange and somehow exciting as well.
John gave a small gasp when my fingers started stroking his cock and my other fingers started to massage his tiny scrotum. It was nice to feel like I was making another person feel so good. Then I felt his hand touch my cock and the electric sparks were flying now. My whole groin area lit up and felt like it was on fire. My head was exploding and I felt faint. This was something I had never felt before. Oh Jesus it felt good to have someone touch my penis and not be laughing at its small size.
We stood there watching each other stroke one another’s cocks for what seemed like a long time. Both of us were leaking some precum on each others hands. We couldn’t use our fists like other guys could but had to be satisfied with using just our finger tips. It was OK. I felt good for the first time in such a long time.
"Oh shit that feels good Chris," John said. "Does it feel good for you as well?"
"Yeah it feels pretty amazing," I replied. " I never imagined I could feel this good before."
"Yeah I felt that way my first time. It just wasn’t on my radar. Killing myself was but not how good this could feel. Look let’s go over and lay on the bed and play with each other for awhile," John said.
Still holding onto each other we walked to the bed and somehow got up on it and lay down without letting go. But it was sort of funny and we both laughed. It felt good to actually laugh again. I hadn’t felt like laughing in the very long six months since my fiasco with Cindy. I knew I had a good laugh and it felt so good all over to be laughing with John as we lay on my bed facing each other playing with each others hard cocks. God I hadn’t laughed like this in a few years.
We looked into each others eyes and finally John moved his head towards mine while taking one of his hands and placing it behind my head. Oh shit I thought what now! He pressed his lips against my closed lips. I didn’t want to kiss him. I held my lips tight together. Shit no! Kiss another man! Oh shit this wasn’t happening but then I felt his tongue push my lips apart and enter my mouth. His breath was hot and warm and sort of salty and he felt good and I found myself opening my mouth and meeting his tongue with mine. Oh shit this couldn’t be happening could it?
More explosions in my brain as we kissed and made out on the bed. We let go of our dicks and instead pressed our bodies tightly together with our arms wrapped around each others backs and heads kissing tightly. Oh shit no girl had ever kissed me like this before. I thought I knew everything about kissing but I knew nothing about this. John was a great kisser and he was patient and kind as we kissed. I was a good kisser but I was learning a few new tricks from him. I could feel his dick pressing hard against mine and it felt so warm and sensual. Two tiny dicks touching each other.
We broke apart and continued to look at each other. He ran his hands across my face and swept my hair off my forehead. He kissed me on the face and told me, "Damn Chris you are a great kisser. I felt like you were going to suck me into your mouth. It was like you were fucking my mouth with your tongue."
I laughed and said, "Jesus man I felt the same way. I was going to tell you the same damn thing!"
"It feels good to laugh doesn’t it," John said
"Yeah it does," I told him sincerely.
"Want to talk about what brought you to your room today," John asked.
It all spilled out then. Everything I had been feeling and thinking for the past several years and especially what had happened at my birthday party with Cindy. I told him everything and it felt so damn good to get it out of me. Finally I could let it out and tell someone how I really felt. John watched me while I spoke and just let me spill it all out. He didn’t comment or speak and that was the right thing to do.
He just let me talk and spill my guts. Tears fell out of my eyes while I was talking and every once in awhile John would reach over and wipe them off my cheeks with his finger tips. Finally I was spent. I had told him everything that was inside. I was amazed that for some reason I no longer felt like a freak around John. He knew how I felt. He knew what I was going to say before I said it. Here was someone who had been through it before and had lived to be with me here on my bed.
We were silent for awhile just looking at each other. Finally I said, "tell me about you if you want to man. I want to know more about you and your.... your.....dick," I stammered.
He started to tell me about his life growing up. It was very similar to mine and to what I had been through. He, however, had avoided the showers and the locker room in high school and never let anyone see his dick. He told me about his girl friends and how he purposefully never went all the way with any of them. He told me about being frustrated and about wanting to kill himself. He told me about the number of times he had almost done it but something always came between him and the knife or the razor blade or the gun.
He finally graduated from his high school hell and went to college and had a roommate that he really liked. They got along great and one day when his guard was down he actually let his friend see him naked. His friend never said a word. He didn’t laugh and most importantly he didn’t tell anyone. He acted like a friend and just went about his business. He invited him to play basketball or go swimming and changed next to him in the locker room. They went out to eat and to the movies and drinking together. In a way his roommate became a sort of protector of sorts and it felt good when he was around. John said he felt good about himself for the first time in his life and he let his guard down.
His roommate even suggested they double date and they went out a few times with different girls. It was all innocent and fun and they had some good laughs. Finally at one point his roommate told him that one of the girls really liked him and she really wanted to sleep with him. John made the comment about how that would never happen and I think you know why. But he finally gave in to his roommate and his girlfriends repeated requests to go for it. He didn’t want to do it. He was afraid of what might happen.
John took a deep breath at this point and I saw he was crying. I leaned forward and kissed the tears from his cheeks and it felt good. Salty but good. "Thanks for listening Chris. It feels so good to get this out. I have only told one other person before." he said through his tears.
"So we went out and we had a good time and we went to her place and necked and fooled around for a long time. I was putting it off but she wanted me. I felt good as well and though it might just work. I took off her clothes and she was beautiful. She took off my clothes down to my boxers and we kissed some more. I was hot and definitely very horny and she was definitely hot. So I decided to go for it and I took off my boxers. She looked liked she would cry out when she saw my tiny dick and then she started laughing. She told me she wondered why I would not sleep with her before now and that now she knew why. There was no way this was going to work. She asked me to leave."
"I was so humiliated. I was so down and so depressed as I put on my clothes with my back to her. I turned and walked out the door without even looking at her again. I had never felt so low. I was beating myself up for even trying. I knew this would happen. Why did I let myself be talked into it anyway? At that moment I hated myself and I hated my roommate so much. I wanted to kill him but I wanted to kill myself even more. I knew I had to do it and this was the time. I would go and do it in our dorm room so that when he came in he would find me and then he would know what he had done to me. I would punish him for making me do this. He would know and I hoped he remembered it forever. I wanted to hurt him so bad."
"I was crying and I was mad and I was hurt all at the same time. All I could think about was slashing my wrist and seeing my blood gush out on the floor and on the bed. Maybe I would do it in his bed to really get back at him I thought as I walked back to my dorm room. I made it back to the room and stripped out of my clothes. I wanted to be naked when I killed myself. I wanted him to walk in and see my tiny dick and see me naked and know why I had killed myself."
"I found my single blade razor blades in my dresser drawer and sat down on his bed. I scooted over to the wall and held my wrist out and put the razor against my flesh. I pressed down lightly and saw some blood come out. It felt good to see my blood. At that moment the door to our room burst open and he stood there looking at me."
"Damn John don’t do this," he said as he raced across the room and grabbed my wrist taking the razor blade out of my finger tips and throwing it across the room. He was strong, much stronger than I had thought.
He sat beside me on the bed and I saw that he was crying. "Damn man please don’t."
He took me in his arms and hugged me but I just sort of flopped there in his embrace. "Look Mary called Sally and told her what happened. She is so embarrassed and sorry for making fun of you. I know you don’t believe it but she really is. I am still pissed at her. I gave her more credit than that. Shit I can’t believe it man. You don’t deserve it. You have enough to worry about without that kind of crap."
He hugged me even tighter and I finally responded to his embrace and put my arms around his back and began to cry my heart out. I couldn’t talk but I cried and cried and he hugged me and kept telling me how much he loved me and couldn’t have stood it if I had killed myself. Before I knew what was happened I felt his hand on my cock and he was touching it gently. No one besides myself had ever touched my cock before and I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Oh Jesus it felt so good to be held and be touched at the same time. But damn this was so queer I thought.
I didn’t even get it that it was a guy touching me until I was hard and aching. "You just need someone to really love you John and tell you how special you are. I thought you knew it but I am sorry I was wrong. Just lay back and let me show you," he said.
I lay back on his bed as he instructed and watched as he removed his shirt and stripped naked. His dick was soft but even so was about 4-5 inches long. He lay down next to me and started kissing me and touching me. I didn’t know what to do so I just lay there and let the sexual pleasures I was feeling for the first time overtake me. I moaned and I groaned as he touched my cock and my balls.
"Look John this is my first time so forgive me if I mess up. Just tell me what you like OK," he told me looking into my eyes.
"Your first time," I said. "You would do this for me? I don’t understand. "
"Hell yes man that is what friends are for. I would do anything for you man. Shit I have never even thought about doing this with another guy but if this is what I need to do to show you that there is a reason to live then shit what the hell." he said with this big goofy grin on his face.
I couldn’t believe it. Just a few minutes before I had wanted to punish this guy and now he was willing to suck on my cock to show me what friendship was all about. Oh God I couldn’t believe it. I let him kiss and lick my nipples and then he found his way down to my cock and balls. He may not have know what it was to love another man but he knew what it was to be a lover.
He caressed me and he loved my body in a way I didn’t think was possible. He took my cock into his mouth and licked it all over and sucked it. Oh it felt good. I had never felt this good ever before. Before I knew what was happening I felt my groin muscles contract and I shot off 3 small loads in his mouth. I couldn’t help myself it felt so good and I was not used to sex. He didn’t flinch or say gross or anything. He just kept on sucking my cock until I was finished, exhausted and completely spent.
He looked up at me and said, "not as bad tasting as I thought it might be. Damn man my fist taste of jizz! Was it OK for you John?"
"Yeah it was great. Sorry I came so quickly," I replied. "You are an amazing lover man."
We started kissing again and he told me over and over how much he loved me and how he wanted me to live and get through this. He knew it must be horrible to be born with such a small dick but he knew that there was someone out there who would love me for who I was and not just for the size of my dick. I found myself reaching down between his legs where I found his limp dick and squeezed it. He lay back on the bed and let me explore his cock and balls to my hearts content.
"Just think of it as yours for the night," he told me with a wicked sexy grin as I made him hard. His dick grew to be about 6 inches long which I knew was average but to me it was so huge, so gigantic, so enormous.
I pushed on it and I pulled on it. I smelled it and I licked it. I touched it and watched it. I touched his sagging balls and kissed them as well. He groaned when I put them in my mouth and pressed them with my lips. He let me suck on him and masturbate him and finally bring him off with a moan. He didn’t shoot much of a load as he had probably already cum with Sally earlier. I drank his jizz as he did with mine.
Afterwards we just lay in his bed kissing each other and holding and hugging each other. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt as if I could face the world again and I felt like I wanted to live. God what would I have done if he hadn’t left his girlfriend and come searching for me. If he hadn’t found me when he did I would be dead by now. I wanted to hurt him so badly and look what he had done for me.
John took a deep breath and looked at Chris and said, "Do you know who that person was?"
Chris croaked as the realization of who it was came to him. "It was my brother Paul wasn’t it?"
"Yeah, he saved my life and I owe him everything. I would do anything for him man even sleep with his little brother with this little tiny cock," he said taking my prick in his hand.
"He knew you were hurting after Larry called him a few weeks ago. He just didn’t know what to do. He has been worrying for the past two weeks about you. He wanted to call you but wasn’t sure how you would take it if you knew he knew. He felt like he couldn’t sleep with you himself and he didn’t think you needed a lecture on how ‘This too Shall Pass’." John told me.
"Larry called him about me?" I said incredulously.
"Yeah Larry is your friend man. Maybe not like Paul was for me but he really cared about you so he did the only thing he could think of and he called Paul. Finally, I told Paul that I would try and talk with you as I knew that out of anyone I would know what shit you were going through and what it was like to have a small prick it’s me. I thought maybe you would listen to me."
"So we came home today and I was going to try and find some way to talk with you tonight when you came home. We knew your parents would be out of town so we thought I would have some time. We weren’t sure how exactly all that would happen but we thought it was worth a try. Like I said your friend Larry really deserves the credit for calling your brother. If he hadn’t done that then none of this would have happened and I am sure you would be dead now. He must be a true friend," John said.
Oh God I thought how I had treated him today in the men’s room when he tried to tell me he cared about me. But when you are at the bottom you just can’t see how anyone could care about you or your problems. Your problems are everything and nothing else matters in your world. It is like a huge black hole. Oh God I thought how close I had come to fucking up my life and the lives of all those people who loved me. How stupid I was. How selfish I was.
"So are you and Paul lovers now?" I asked.
"No, we did it just that one night. But I know if I need him he would be there for me. We hug a lot and I am not afraid to be naked around him and we even jerk off together sometimes. I am going out again and feel like I can face this and learn from it and go on with my life. Yeah I got a dirty deal when it came to pricks and you did too but now at least I have you I can talk to and make fun of for this tiny thing," he said with a laugh as he squeezed my little dick.
I laughed with him as we watched him touch my cock. Suddenly the size of my cock did not matter as much any more. Oh yeah I would be lying if I said it did not matter at all but for the first time in a long time I felt loved as I lay back on the bed and John took my cock in his mouth. Oh shit that felt good as he worked on me. It felt so good and I needed to feel good right now...........
