LOL. You are great, habibi* You know that?
Great but wrong. Wrong on a number of levels.
First of all, you're making this argument into something it's not. Did I not say that racist people are not necessarily evil or horrible people? Did I not acknowledge socializing factors as those that could culminate in racist language and racism? Yes I did. Oh but I did. Please read my post carefully next time. Yes, racist language and racist people can still NOT BE HORRIBLE PEOPLE (explicit enough?), but -- and pay close attention now so that you hear only exactly what I'm saying and nothing else -- that still makes them racist. It doesn't mean they are horrible, but it does mean they are racist. Words have meaning habibi and we should not forget that. If these people aren't racist, then the word "racist" has no meaning. If you think racism is only hating people based on their race or treating them with violence, or longing for segregation and slavery, then once again (you know the drill by now) you are wrong. Racism is often more subtle than that, especially today and in a way that makes it more insidious (more difficult to spot). But it is there. And once again, these people are not horrible people. Someone can be loving, and a good parent, and a person with terrific other qualities and still be racist.
Secondly, Huck Finn? Are you kidding me? Of course I've read it. But, correct me if I'm wrong here, is it not set way before 2008? Did you somehow not get that? The lack of cell phones, the fact that they're always on a raft, that Jim was a runaway (though it turns out he was free the whole time) slave? In case you missed it, a lot has happened between the time Twain wrote Huck Finn and now. Yes, even to the people in your neck of the woods. The reason I don't think Huck Finn is a racist text is because of the specific time period it was set in. Of course it's not racist. Not in terms of how we define racism with a modern lens anyway (No more so than I would call Dickens Anti-Semetic in modern terms for his portrayal of Fagin in Oliver Twist.) Oh the characters are racist sure, but only in the sense that they are products of their time, and to expect them not to behave this way would be to expect behavior and experience far beyond their years. That would be asking too much of them, and I won't do that (though YOU are asking too much of the side that feels wronged today habibi, but we will get to that later, I promise). It's all about context, sure.
But we are in 2008 now, habibbi. Check your clocks. America is older, wiser, has been through not only emancipation but a civil rights movement too! Imagine that! And now we have television and movies and the internet and other ways to connect us, so it's really difficult to make the claim, "Well I don't really know much about black people because I never grew up around them." Bull plop. Expecting someone today to be more enlightened than the characters in Huck Finn in terms of race is NOT expecting a lot in 2008.
Yes habibi, your grandparents (and mine too, let me assure you) grew up in a different time. But our parents, and you and I, and others who are younger, should know better. Steven should know better. And if he doesn't (and if they don't), then OK, I agree (and I agreed even before you became upset and defensive) that doesn't make them or him horrible. But it is racism and we should be able to identify that if we're ever going to change it. And people who exhibit this kind of racism are the opposite of what one would have to expect of Huck Finn to call him racist by modern standards -- these people are behind the times in terms of their prejudices.
And furthermore, you expect us to be sympathetic and understanding of those who grew up in ignorance -- and even understanding to the members of your own family who you cite -- you expect us to see that these people are still people, with feelings and emotions and good qualities (which I have no doubt they possess, I'm sure your father is a wonderful man and of course all people deserve to be treated with love and compassion) yet you can't understand how a member of the maligned race, the oppressed race, and those who sympathize with them, would be hurt and offended by these remarks? Can you not see that the people receiving the insult, have feelings and emotions as well? Oh habibi -- and here we get to what I promised we would get to before -- you ask way, way too much of them.
If both sides need to understand each other, then fine. But my sympathy will always fall more on the side of the ones who did nothing wrong. If someome makes a racist remark or reveals themself to be racist, then they should be ashamed and should be told why this is problematic and why they shouldn't do it. We should not scold the wronged party -- and this should not be difficult to understand, maybe for your hero Huck Finn, but certainly not for you -- for feeling wronged. It is their right to feel wronged. And we can understand where ignorance influences this behavior, but we should not excuse it. We should never, ever excuse it. It should be a place and time to open the discussion and to tell the party in error, "Hey, NO. I love you, but that was wrong." And we should never, ever make the other side feel bad for reacting in a way that a wounded party should react.
If you make a racist remark, you cannot blame the wronged side for being upset and then become angry yourself when they call you a racist. You see how absurd that is? Because maybe yes there are mitigating factors, and you can still be a good person and all of this is true. But at that moment, you are in fact guilty of racism. And calling it when we see it is not something we should be timorous about.
And I never once -- not once -- said I was more experienced or better than you or anything of the sort because I have traveled more etc. My dear, I think you will find that those words never entered any of my posts (go on, re-check them, I will wait), so your bringing it up speaks more to your own insecurities, not my arrogance. (OK I made one joke about your age but I deflated it with "I kid! I kid" clearly delineating its humorous content).
And if you are going to respond to a long post of mine, please answer all the issues I raised. You convenienetly ignored the point I made about Steven, regarding myself and aijalon. (Undoubtedly because you know you are unequivocally wrong about this one) Answer me this habibi, do you really in your heart of hearts, and as the intelligent person you clearly are, do you really think it was a coincidence that we found the "big black buck" and the "colored woman" remark to be racially loaded (which so many of you denied! And with such passion too! It makes one wonder...) and then the very same person goes on to make an incredibly offensive, blatantly racist joke, that even you yourself said was racist? Did that not give you pause? Did that not make you think, "Hey maybe they were right about the first remark, because that would be an incredible coincidence or at least make Nik and aijalon claairvoyant?" (I assure you, I am not clairvoyant. I am only able to spot these problematic and racially loaded terms.) Face it habibi, you were wrong. Dead wrong. Couldn't be more wrong. Doesn't that shake your confidence on this particular issue even a little? Shouldn't it make you less cock sure?
And so then maybe, perhaps maybe, it's possible, you are wrong now? Wrong especially to expect so much from the maligned party and so little (in fact almost nothing) from the party that did the wrong?
* The word "habibi" is an Arabic word that loosely means "beloved." It's a term of endearment -- one of the sweetest and most intimate terms -- and one you would use only towards someone for whom you have great affection.
) The more I think about this I've become curious because I feel there may be a fundamental misunderstanding that is prompting in ability to reach a final conclusion between us. Now I know where Aij stands and I understand and respect his position though I disagree. 
