ChrisGibson
JUB Addict
T  H  R  E  E 
MONSTERS
 
  
I myself am a murderer and murdered, sacrificer and sacrificed. You all have a share in the murder.
-The Red Book
 
“That was the best concert in the world,” Alease declared.
“We need a night away from the kids. Every once in a while at least,” he said, his eyes not leaving the road as he squeezed her hand.
“Looks like we’ve still got the magic, Mr. Goodson.”
He smiled at his wife and kissed her quickly.
“Did you ever doubt it?”
That night the traffic lights on the rainy streets made red and green glowing patterns on the asphalt. Jack Goodson was driving home with his wife from the Aragon. and he stopped to let the man in the parka cross the street As the man was crossing, suddenly he fell on his back.
“Oh my God,” Alease said.
As the man trembled on the ground, Jack got out of the car and cried, “Alease, call 911. I’ll see what I can do.”
Alease nodded as her husband stepped out into the rain while the lights of the SUV flowed yellow on the street mixing with traffic lights, and other drivers slowed their vehicles to move around them.
“Sir,” Jack said, “are you alright? I can’t even see your face. Say, we’re going to—”
Jack made a startled noise, and pain exploded in the back of his head as he fell in the street, and the man with the metal stick in his hand jumped up, laughing and ran across the street into the night. Through the thick pain, Jack heard his wife calling his name, but he could not get up, not just yet.
 
“So, we had sex,” Erika said. “And it was the best sex I’d had in a long time. Of course, it was the only sex I’d had with someone who wasn’t Jordan. And I forgot what it was like to be with a man whose body I actually like looking at. He looks so good. I mean, look at him.”
Erika took out her camera and showed a picture of a man who looked much like every other man she’d dated and said, “Isn’t he beautiful? But Vera’s dad just moved back into town and though people can’t understand, I’ve got to stop myself from fucking him because good things never happen when I’m with that man, except Vera, but aside from that—good things never happen. And that man just got out of prison anyway. So, but anyway, it’s all about Mike now.”
“Well, I’m happy for you,” Lewis said, and he almost meant it.
“When am I going to meet that man of yours? I mean, meet him again?”
“I suppose you could stay a bit . He’s going to be here soon.”
“Well. I’d like to, but Mike is saying he wants me to come over.”
“Doesn’t he live across the state line?”
“Well, it’s only an hour and a half trip.”
“You mean one way?” Lewis said neutrally.
“If you could just be there for the sex. My God, the man’s so big he kind of hurts me. Have you ever been with someone so big it hurt?”
“Yes,” Lewis said. He wondered if Erika was asking about Chris, but he didn’t like to talk about Chris and bed. Their love was personal to him and not an object of discussion. God knows there had been plenty of men before Chris who were completely up for gossip.”
“He stretches me so bad I can hardly walk. The hole next day I could just feel that man in me. I mean he really damaged my bpussy. But I needed to have some more. You know what he said the other night?”
“Huh?”
“He growled, ‘This cock is yours!’ I mean he was like, ‘This cock is yers!” And oh my God it made me shiver. I let that man fuck me sideways.”
She drifted off on a reverie and then said, “and the shadows on the wall of our doggystyle. I’ve never been able to see that, but just being able to see the reflection of yourself. Oh, my God, and the way he makes it clap when he’s… “
Erika crossed her legs.
“I want to be a good friend and stay, but I don’t know if I can. I need to be with that man again.”
Lewis hated the way some gay men talked about sex as if it just weren’t very important. As if it was a low thing. He wondered, if Chris didn’t stay here every night what would he do to be with him? But then, being with Chris was a lot more than the sex, he told himself. No, the sex is a significant part of it, and wouldn’t Chris think it was funny when he repeated this story when he came home?
“I don’t begrudge you,” Lewis said. “I think you ought to go. What you’re in is new, and you deserve.”
“Thank you so much,” she was forking around the last of the Chinese food and she said, “I’m not going to eat the rest of this. Do you just want to keep it?”
“Thanks. Yeah..”
“Can I use your bathroom before I go?”
“Absolutely. Toilet paper’s in the closet across from the door.”
While Erika got up. Lewis wondered if he’d gotten fifty words out, or if he trusted fifty words out. There was so much on his mind, so much to say, and it wasn’t that he didn’t wish to tell Erika, just that it took far too long to process it and express it. She was so here, there and everywhere and now the toilet was flushing, and she was coming back in, and she kissed him and said, “Are you going to walk me out, friend?”
“Of course I am.”
On their way out Erika said, “Mike says he wants to build me a log cabin in the woods. He told me that after we had sex last night and were all curled up in his bed, and he is a construction worker. I love a man who can build. He’s thinking our kids should meet, and that could be real nice too.”
Privately, Lewis thought that Mike should build himself an apartment and get out of his grandmother’s house before talking about building a log cabin, but he kept this to himself. He walked Erika to the car and returned, going down the long hall and past the former ballroom to the elevator, going up the five stories and to his apartment, through the main room and into the kitchen where he flung back his head and screamed.
“Oh, hey!” Chris was opening the refrigerator and taking out coffee creamer. He cocked his head.
“Did I scare you?”
“Did you come through the back door?”
“No,” Chris said, “I actually came in through the window.”
Chris said it so matter of factly that Lewis realized it wasn’t a joke, and he said, “You’re like a bat.”
Chris shook his head, pouring them cups of coffee.
“That bat business is a myth. I just climbed up the walls.”
“Like Spider Man.”
“Yeah!” Chris snapped his fingers.
“If you can’t see why that’s not scary—”
“It shouldn’t be scary to you cause you’re my boyfriend,” Chris gave him his coffee. “However, Erika was here and I was like, shit. So I waited for her to leave and then climbed in. She sure does talk a lot.”
“She does,” Lewis said, then, “And how long were you just hanging outside on the wall.”
“Chris shrugged. “I dunno. Twenty minutes or so. I really wanted to shout, Lewis! I’m here.”
“You could have called. Or do you need both hands to hang on?”
“I’ve never tried to make a call and hang on to a wall,” Chris said, sitting down across from him. They were both in their spectacles and Chris said, “Ey?”
“Yeah?”
“I feel like I’m not small.”
“No, you’re six’ two.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
Lewis raised a mildly irritated eyebrow and then said, “Oh! No, you’re not small at all. You’re… more than adequate.”
Chris smiled like the Cheshire Cat and Lewis said, “Now what?”
“Well, when she was going on about Mike I thought… I just feel like you could have said that I was—”
“Oh, really! For real? You’re a grown vampre and you were hanging off of my wall eavesdropping—”
“I wasn’t eavesdropping!”
“Hoping I’d tell me best friend about how big my boyfriend’s penis is?”
“Well,” Chris squirmed. “A little.”
Lewis cleared his throat and sipped his coffee.
“I don’t like talking about you that way. This Mike or whoatever he is just some moron who’s going to be gone in a couple of weeks. You… well, I wouldn’t talk about you that way. What we say in bed is no one’s business. If I didn’t love you it would be something different, but I do, so there.”
“I’m just being a goon.” Chris said, putting his coffee down and rounding the table ot kiss Lewis on the cheek.
“I haven’t been someone’s beau in a long time.”
“Holy Little House on the Prairie, did you just say beau?”
“That’s what it is, right?” Chris raised an eyebrow.
“I forget how old you are until you start talking.”
“Fuck,” Chris said.
“Huh?”
“Fuck Fuck Fuck. Do I sound old now?”
“Now you just sound silly. Besides, that’s not even a new word.”
“Everyone thinks it is.”
“That’s because everyone thinks they just discovered sex. Say, how would you feel about Erika and her daughter coming to dinner tomorrow night with my uncle?”
Chris’s eyes opened and he gave an obviously fake smile. “Sure, I think that would be—”
“See, I can tell jokes too.’
“You’re a cruel man.”
“Besides, it’s likely you’ll never see Erika again.”
Chris raised an eyebrow.
“That sounds ominous.”
“It’s just the way she is. She comes into my life and then disappears more and more frequently, the way some friends do. It’s more than likely I won’t see her again for at least half a year.”
While Chris contemplated this, there was a knock at the door, and Lewis murmured, “Who the fuck can that be at this time of night?”
But he went to answer it anyway.
A woman was at the door with a fevered child and she said, “He’s not waking up, and before you ask, I can’t get him to the hospital.”
“Bring him in here,” Lewis said, nodding to the bed, “Place him there. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Lewis went through the kitchen, and then to the bathroom. and cleaned out the tub and then he said, “Bringing him in here, and in the bathroom, Lewis began to undress the sweating boy and place him in the tub that was semi full of cold water. Chris watched as more water rumbled into the tub, and Lewis told the mother. “You just sit there. Right on the toilet, and I will hold up his head.”
While Lewis submerged the boy in cold water, Chris wondered why this woman hadn’t had the sense to do the same thing, and why she would come to Lewis this late at night, but Lewis said, “What happened before?”
“I put him in the water, but it didn’t seem to do anything, and this is the third time it’s happened in a week. He speaks to himself, and even after the fever is broken, he doesn’t always wake up right away. I spent three hours in the emergency room waiting for them to do anything, and do you know how much it costs me?”
Lewis did not answer, but put the back of his hand to the boy’s head.
“The fever is gone. Chris, lay out one of the old blnakets on the bed for me.”
Chris nodded and left and a moment later, Lewis brought the dripping boy back into the living room, and laid him on the bed, opening the windows.
“I need you all to be very quiet,” he said. The woman nodded., Chris did nothing, and Lewis pulled out a chair and sat down across from the boy, closing his eyes and resting his head in his hands. For a long time the boy lay there in deep sleep, and Lewis in silence, and it was at the time when Chris almost spoke that Lewis stood up and went into the kitchen and retrieved from behind one of the portraits on the altar, a vial, and from the vial he began to pour oil into his hands, anointing the boy.
“Blessed be thy feet which have brought thee here, and blessed be thy knees which kneel. Blessed be thy navel, which is the source of thy fire. Blessed be thy breastbone, blessed by thy throat which speaketh to praise the Lord.”
And while Chris looked on, Lewis continued, “Blessed be thy limbs which carry you. Blessed be thy arms and thy legs, blessed be thy mind, blessed by thy lips. Blessed be the space between the eyes. Chris bring me the sage. It’s half burnt. You can’t miss it.
And while he burned the pungent sage, moving it across the sleeping boy, he continued to murmur over and over again:
“Blessed be thy feet which have brought thee here, and blessed be thy knees which kneel. Blessed be thy navel, which is the source of thy fire. Blessed be thy breastbone, blessed by thy throat which speaketh to praise the Lord.”
And while Chris looked on, Lewis continued, “Blessed be thy limbs which carry you. Blessed be thy arms and thy legs, blessed be thy mind, blessed by thy lips. Blessed be the space between the eyes...”
His voice became quieter until it was a whisper, until it was nothing but a groan, and his body trembled in trance, and now his hand went to the boy’s chest, and now he lay himself across the boy, and it was as if he were asleep too. The mother watched, saying nothing, and Chris watched with a frown until, at last, Lewis rose, and blowing out his breath he said, “I expel thee. Trouble him no more. I expel thee,” and as he spoke the boy’s eyes began to flutter.
“Mama…”
“I expel thee,” Lewis continued, taking the sage and burning it again, “Trouble him no more. I expel thee. Clothe the boy,” he said as an aside, “I expel thee, trouble him no more.”
And he took from under the bed, the thin metal wand Chris had seen before, and he began to trace over the boy and over the room a pentagram, and then another and then to describe another five pointed star. And now he took his wand through it, and though Chris saw nothing, he saw the boy’s expression, and the woman’s, and he felt as if a great heaviness had been lifted or scattered, and then Lewis put down the wand and said, “I need to sit down, but by all means, don’t feel like you have to leave. Chris, could you get some juice for the boy. Madam, what would you like?”
	
		
			
		
		
	
				
			MONSTERS
I myself am a murderer and murdered, sacrificer and sacrificed. You all have a share in the murder.
-The Red Book
“That was the best concert in the world,” Alease declared.
“We need a night away from the kids. Every once in a while at least,” he said, his eyes not leaving the road as he squeezed her hand.
“Looks like we’ve still got the magic, Mr. Goodson.”
He smiled at his wife and kissed her quickly.
“Did you ever doubt it?”
That night the traffic lights on the rainy streets made red and green glowing patterns on the asphalt. Jack Goodson was driving home with his wife from the Aragon. and he stopped to let the man in the parka cross the street As the man was crossing, suddenly he fell on his back.
“Oh my God,” Alease said.
As the man trembled on the ground, Jack got out of the car and cried, “Alease, call 911. I’ll see what I can do.”
Alease nodded as her husband stepped out into the rain while the lights of the SUV flowed yellow on the street mixing with traffic lights, and other drivers slowed their vehicles to move around them.
“Sir,” Jack said, “are you alright? I can’t even see your face. Say, we’re going to—”
Jack made a startled noise, and pain exploded in the back of his head as he fell in the street, and the man with the metal stick in his hand jumped up, laughing and ran across the street into the night. Through the thick pain, Jack heard his wife calling his name, but he could not get up, not just yet.
“So, we had sex,” Erika said. “And it was the best sex I’d had in a long time. Of course, it was the only sex I’d had with someone who wasn’t Jordan. And I forgot what it was like to be with a man whose body I actually like looking at. He looks so good. I mean, look at him.”
Erika took out her camera and showed a picture of a man who looked much like every other man she’d dated and said, “Isn’t he beautiful? But Vera’s dad just moved back into town and though people can’t understand, I’ve got to stop myself from fucking him because good things never happen when I’m with that man, except Vera, but aside from that—good things never happen. And that man just got out of prison anyway. So, but anyway, it’s all about Mike now.”
“Well, I’m happy for you,” Lewis said, and he almost meant it.
“When am I going to meet that man of yours? I mean, meet him again?”
“I suppose you could stay a bit . He’s going to be here soon.”
“Well. I’d like to, but Mike is saying he wants me to come over.”
“Doesn’t he live across the state line?”
“Well, it’s only an hour and a half trip.”
“You mean one way?” Lewis said neutrally.
“If you could just be there for the sex. My God, the man’s so big he kind of hurts me. Have you ever been with someone so big it hurt?”
“Yes,” Lewis said. He wondered if Erika was asking about Chris, but he didn’t like to talk about Chris and bed. Their love was personal to him and not an object of discussion. God knows there had been plenty of men before Chris who were completely up for gossip.”
“He stretches me so bad I can hardly walk. The hole next day I could just feel that man in me. I mean he really damaged my bpussy. But I needed to have some more. You know what he said the other night?”
“Huh?”
“He growled, ‘This cock is yours!’ I mean he was like, ‘This cock is yers!” And oh my God it made me shiver. I let that man fuck me sideways.”
She drifted off on a reverie and then said, “and the shadows on the wall of our doggystyle. I’ve never been able to see that, but just being able to see the reflection of yourself. Oh, my God, and the way he makes it clap when he’s… “
Erika crossed her legs.
“I want to be a good friend and stay, but I don’t know if I can. I need to be with that man again.”
Lewis hated the way some gay men talked about sex as if it just weren’t very important. As if it was a low thing. He wondered, if Chris didn’t stay here every night what would he do to be with him? But then, being with Chris was a lot more than the sex, he told himself. No, the sex is a significant part of it, and wouldn’t Chris think it was funny when he repeated this story when he came home?
“I don’t begrudge you,” Lewis said. “I think you ought to go. What you’re in is new, and you deserve.”
“Thank you so much,” she was forking around the last of the Chinese food and she said, “I’m not going to eat the rest of this. Do you just want to keep it?”
“Thanks. Yeah..”
“Can I use your bathroom before I go?”
“Absolutely. Toilet paper’s in the closet across from the door.”
While Erika got up. Lewis wondered if he’d gotten fifty words out, or if he trusted fifty words out. There was so much on his mind, so much to say, and it wasn’t that he didn’t wish to tell Erika, just that it took far too long to process it and express it. She was so here, there and everywhere and now the toilet was flushing, and she was coming back in, and she kissed him and said, “Are you going to walk me out, friend?”
“Of course I am.”
On their way out Erika said, “Mike says he wants to build me a log cabin in the woods. He told me that after we had sex last night and were all curled up in his bed, and he is a construction worker. I love a man who can build. He’s thinking our kids should meet, and that could be real nice too.”
Privately, Lewis thought that Mike should build himself an apartment and get out of his grandmother’s house before talking about building a log cabin, but he kept this to himself. He walked Erika to the car and returned, going down the long hall and past the former ballroom to the elevator, going up the five stories and to his apartment, through the main room and into the kitchen where he flung back his head and screamed.
“Oh, hey!” Chris was opening the refrigerator and taking out coffee creamer. He cocked his head.
“Did I scare you?”
“Did you come through the back door?”
“No,” Chris said, “I actually came in through the window.”
Chris said it so matter of factly that Lewis realized it wasn’t a joke, and he said, “You’re like a bat.”
Chris shook his head, pouring them cups of coffee.
“That bat business is a myth. I just climbed up the walls.”
“Like Spider Man.”
“Yeah!” Chris snapped his fingers.
“If you can’t see why that’s not scary—”
“It shouldn’t be scary to you cause you’re my boyfriend,” Chris gave him his coffee. “However, Erika was here and I was like, shit. So I waited for her to leave and then climbed in. She sure does talk a lot.”
“She does,” Lewis said, then, “And how long were you just hanging outside on the wall.”
“Chris shrugged. “I dunno. Twenty minutes or so. I really wanted to shout, Lewis! I’m here.”
“You could have called. Or do you need both hands to hang on?”
“I’ve never tried to make a call and hang on to a wall,” Chris said, sitting down across from him. They were both in their spectacles and Chris said, “Ey?”
“Yeah?”
“I feel like I’m not small.”
“No, you’re six’ two.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
Lewis raised a mildly irritated eyebrow and then said, “Oh! No, you’re not small at all. You’re… more than adequate.”
Chris smiled like the Cheshire Cat and Lewis said, “Now what?”
“Well, when she was going on about Mike I thought… I just feel like you could have said that I was—”
“Oh, really! For real? You’re a grown vampre and you were hanging off of my wall eavesdropping—”
“I wasn’t eavesdropping!”
“Hoping I’d tell me best friend about how big my boyfriend’s penis is?”
“Well,” Chris squirmed. “A little.”
Lewis cleared his throat and sipped his coffee.
“I don’t like talking about you that way. This Mike or whoatever he is just some moron who’s going to be gone in a couple of weeks. You… well, I wouldn’t talk about you that way. What we say in bed is no one’s business. If I didn’t love you it would be something different, but I do, so there.”
“I’m just being a goon.” Chris said, putting his coffee down and rounding the table ot kiss Lewis on the cheek.
“I haven’t been someone’s beau in a long time.”
“Holy Little House on the Prairie, did you just say beau?”
“That’s what it is, right?” Chris raised an eyebrow.
“I forget how old you are until you start talking.”
“Fuck,” Chris said.
“Huh?”
“Fuck Fuck Fuck. Do I sound old now?”
“Now you just sound silly. Besides, that’s not even a new word.”
“Everyone thinks it is.”
“That’s because everyone thinks they just discovered sex. Say, how would you feel about Erika and her daughter coming to dinner tomorrow night with my uncle?”
Chris’s eyes opened and he gave an obviously fake smile. “Sure, I think that would be—”
“See, I can tell jokes too.’
“You’re a cruel man.”
“Besides, it’s likely you’ll never see Erika again.”
Chris raised an eyebrow.
“That sounds ominous.”
“It’s just the way she is. She comes into my life and then disappears more and more frequently, the way some friends do. It’s more than likely I won’t see her again for at least half a year.”
While Chris contemplated this, there was a knock at the door, and Lewis murmured, “Who the fuck can that be at this time of night?”
But he went to answer it anyway.
A woman was at the door with a fevered child and she said, “He’s not waking up, and before you ask, I can’t get him to the hospital.”
“Bring him in here,” Lewis said, nodding to the bed, “Place him there. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Lewis went through the kitchen, and then to the bathroom. and cleaned out the tub and then he said, “Bringing him in here, and in the bathroom, Lewis began to undress the sweating boy and place him in the tub that was semi full of cold water. Chris watched as more water rumbled into the tub, and Lewis told the mother. “You just sit there. Right on the toilet, and I will hold up his head.”
While Lewis submerged the boy in cold water, Chris wondered why this woman hadn’t had the sense to do the same thing, and why she would come to Lewis this late at night, but Lewis said, “What happened before?”
“I put him in the water, but it didn’t seem to do anything, and this is the third time it’s happened in a week. He speaks to himself, and even after the fever is broken, he doesn’t always wake up right away. I spent three hours in the emergency room waiting for them to do anything, and do you know how much it costs me?”
Lewis did not answer, but put the back of his hand to the boy’s head.
“The fever is gone. Chris, lay out one of the old blnakets on the bed for me.”
Chris nodded and left and a moment later, Lewis brought the dripping boy back into the living room, and laid him on the bed, opening the windows.
“I need you all to be very quiet,” he said. The woman nodded., Chris did nothing, and Lewis pulled out a chair and sat down across from the boy, closing his eyes and resting his head in his hands. For a long time the boy lay there in deep sleep, and Lewis in silence, and it was at the time when Chris almost spoke that Lewis stood up and went into the kitchen and retrieved from behind one of the portraits on the altar, a vial, and from the vial he began to pour oil into his hands, anointing the boy.
“Blessed be thy feet which have brought thee here, and blessed be thy knees which kneel. Blessed be thy navel, which is the source of thy fire. Blessed be thy breastbone, blessed by thy throat which speaketh to praise the Lord.”
And while Chris looked on, Lewis continued, “Blessed be thy limbs which carry you. Blessed be thy arms and thy legs, blessed be thy mind, blessed by thy lips. Blessed be the space between the eyes. Chris bring me the sage. It’s half burnt. You can’t miss it.
And while he burned the pungent sage, moving it across the sleeping boy, he continued to murmur over and over again:
“Blessed be thy feet which have brought thee here, and blessed be thy knees which kneel. Blessed be thy navel, which is the source of thy fire. Blessed be thy breastbone, blessed by thy throat which speaketh to praise the Lord.”
And while Chris looked on, Lewis continued, “Blessed be thy limbs which carry you. Blessed be thy arms and thy legs, blessed be thy mind, blessed by thy lips. Blessed be the space between the eyes...”
His voice became quieter until it was a whisper, until it was nothing but a groan, and his body trembled in trance, and now his hand went to the boy’s chest, and now he lay himself across the boy, and it was as if he were asleep too. The mother watched, saying nothing, and Chris watched with a frown until, at last, Lewis rose, and blowing out his breath he said, “I expel thee. Trouble him no more. I expel thee,” and as he spoke the boy’s eyes began to flutter.
“Mama…”
“I expel thee,” Lewis continued, taking the sage and burning it again, “Trouble him no more. I expel thee. Clothe the boy,” he said as an aside, “I expel thee, trouble him no more.”
And he took from under the bed, the thin metal wand Chris had seen before, and he began to trace over the boy and over the room a pentagram, and then another and then to describe another five pointed star. And now he took his wand through it, and though Chris saw nothing, he saw the boy’s expression, and the woman’s, and he felt as if a great heaviness had been lifted or scattered, and then Lewis put down the wand and said, “I need to sit down, but by all means, don’t feel like you have to leave. Chris, could you get some juice for the boy. Madam, what would you like?”


 
						





 
 
		






















