ChrisGibson
JUB Addict
IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE CONCLUSION TO CHAPTER FOUR POSTED A LITTLE EARLIER, MAKE SURE YOU READ THE PORTION ABOVE BEFORE READING THIS
F I V E
MERCIES
 
My soul, where are you? Do you hear me? I speak. I call you—are you there? I have returned. I am here again.
-The Red Book
 
The sky was turning black. It had been blue so recently, and now the wind rose, and the door from the kindergarten opened and Mrs. Wyle called, “Come on in, kids. There’s a tornado! Come in. Hurry!””
All of them began to run inTo the school, but Seth turned around and there was another door and a house, and why had he not seen it before? He knocked on the door and when it opened, Owen was looking down at him and at that moment Seth he realized he was a child. Owen said, “Get in this house right away. There’s a storm coming. Can’t you see it?”
Seth came in, and Owen shut the door. Seth went into the wide living room. The windows were curtained, and Owen said, “No no, not there. In the bathroom,” which was in the center of the house. Seth followed Owen, and then went in.
“Mustn’t shut the door,” Owen said. “Mustn’t shut the door or we’ll never know when the storm is ended. “
“Where should I go?” Seth asked, surprised by the smallness of his little boy voice.
“Hide in the bath tub. You don’t want the storm to smell you. Better take a bath.”
The little boy nodded and turned the stops, and warm water fell over him. The wetter he was, the clearer the sky became. When the sky was clear, Owen said, “That’s enough, little Seth. Run along now.”
“I love you, Owen,” Seth said.
“I love you too. You know that Seth. Sometimes I’m gruff with you, but you know I love you.”
“Did mom and dad love me?”
“Why don’t you go to church and ask them?”
Seth nodded and went down the hallway, opening the front door of the ranch house Owen had never lived in, and found himself in the west transept of an enormous church filled with people milling about. It was a college chapel, but he couldn’t remember where, and it was the size of a normal church or bigger, so calling it a chapel was misleading. The ribs of the ceiling arched above. The nave, painted in gold and saints and angels, looked down on him. On the altar white candles burned and Kyle, his shaggy haired father, said, “Seth, you’re here. You were almost late.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Don’t sweat it, little man. You know what you could do for me? Go in the kitchen, and get me a cup off coffee.”
Seth nodded and walked across the front of the church, past the altar, not crossing himself, and into the large white kitchen where the women sat drinking coffee. Birds were singing on the window ledges. The kitchen hadn’t been cleaned in ages.
“How do you stop from killing yourself?” the first woman asked. “Life is such a pile of shit, how do you not just end it all?”
“Fuck the world and fuck people,” the other one said, “I just use lots of cocaine and feel that it will get me through.”
“Drugs is the only thing that helps me.”
“What the fuck do you want ” they asked Seth.
” they asked Seth.
“He’s got a nice cock on him,” the other woman said.
Seth realized he was naked. Had he taken his clothes off when Owen had told him to bathe? No, but that hadn’t happened. As he tried to remember exactly when this had happened, he also knew he should be either embarrassed or pleased, but somehow the embarrassment or the pride did not quite reach him, and he said, “Can I get a cup of coffee?”
“You can get a snake for an egg and a stone for bread,” the redheaded woman said. She got up went to the refrigerator, gave him a snake and then gave him a stone, and the blond woman said. “You’re naked. You can’t go back like that. Here’ put this condom on.”
Back in the church, he came to his father with the snake and the stone, and Kyle smiled at him and said, “Thanks son. Go up to the altar before everything starts.”
Seth nodded and walked up to the altar and he thought, “I’ve done this before. I should know what’s about to happen. The priest was chanting while the altar boy swung incense:
“Lamb of God,
you take away the sins of the world.
Have mercy on us.”
	
The congregation sang it back. No one seemed to mind that Owen was up here with Seth. Laid out on the altar, the four candles on either side of her was his mother, her white dress covered in blood. He knew it was his mother because the two sides of her head split open and bloodied were his mother’s face, and between them the crablike mani eyed face said, “You’re finally here. Maybe you can stay. You should have come with us that day.”
The congregation sang in a stately unison:
“You should have come with us that day!”
“Seth, son!” Kyle called.
Seth turned around. His father was so handsome, taller than him, younger than he was now, small traces of his Black blood in his deep complexion and broad nose, in the thick curl of his shoulder length hair.
“look at this!” Kyle called. “You missed it before.”
Just like that, the two tons of automobile leapt onto the altar and slammed into Kyle pinnig him to the wall, his oranges splashing along the church wall, and Seth leapt into consciousness in his bedroom on the house on Bryn Mawr.
He was awake now, trembling and awake, but while he tried to leave his bed, all around him, the newly wakened him, the walls transformed into that church again and the murals of saints transformed, the angels shifting into demons, the saints sprouting several eyes, arms and tenracles, their mouths opening, their skins flipping inside out, the heads of the dead coming through the wall. Above his bed stood Kyle, smashed as any bug, his head crushed but still talking.
“Look at me son!”
He opened his mouth full of broken teeth. “Look at me.”
Seth screamed until the images faded, and he was left soaking in his bed, trembling from the dreams that never went away.
 
 
“You know this can’t go on,” Owen said that morning.
On the other side of the table, Seth ate his cereal while Owen sipped his coffee, and before him, black as graphite, stretched the blade of the Sword, its hilt silver and black, the rich grain ot the steal glinting in the morning.
“I hoped the Sword helped,” Owen said.
“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to touch it. After what happened to Eve.”
A small smile passed over Owen’s mouth and, turning the page of his morning paper he said, “Yes, that was unfortunate. But no, nephew, anyone who is allowed to touch the sword can touch the sword, but anyone who is not…” Owen shrugged.
“But back to what I was saying. You cannot keep sleeping with the sword in your room and still be protected. Your dreams have grown too powerful. They overwhelm you.”
“I think they’re just bad dreams.”
“Bad enough to put bags under your eyes,” Owen said. “And it they’re only bad dreams, then why are they still present when you wake? If they are merely bad dreams then why do I see them when I come into your room to quell them?”
Seth blinked, wide eyed, at Owen.
“Do you?”
“I do. Your dreams have become too powerful. You cannot neglect your family heritage. It is time to begin your training.”
Seth received this news with much glumness and he hung his head a little, not knowing how silly he looked as a grown man with a fringe beard in dress shirt and vest, sulking.
“When do we start?”
“Oh, we don’t start,” Owen said. “It’s Lewis who will teach you. You will be his Adept.”
“When did you all agree to this?”
“We’ve never spoken of it,” Owen closed his newspaper. “But we will discuss it when he and his most interesting lover come to dinner tonight.”
A Blessed New Year to you all and peace to Australians suffering in the bush fires. Peace to everyone who right now is suffering in this world.
	
		
			
		
		
	
				
			F I V E
MERCIES
My soul, where are you? Do you hear me? I speak. I call you—are you there? I have returned. I am here again.
-The Red Book
The sky was turning black. It had been blue so recently, and now the wind rose, and the door from the kindergarten opened and Mrs. Wyle called, “Come on in, kids. There’s a tornado! Come in. Hurry!””
All of them began to run inTo the school, but Seth turned around and there was another door and a house, and why had he not seen it before? He knocked on the door and when it opened, Owen was looking down at him and at that moment Seth he realized he was a child. Owen said, “Get in this house right away. There’s a storm coming. Can’t you see it?”
Seth came in, and Owen shut the door. Seth went into the wide living room. The windows were curtained, and Owen said, “No no, not there. In the bathroom,” which was in the center of the house. Seth followed Owen, and then went in.
“Mustn’t shut the door,” Owen said. “Mustn’t shut the door or we’ll never know when the storm is ended. “
“Where should I go?” Seth asked, surprised by the smallness of his little boy voice.
“Hide in the bath tub. You don’t want the storm to smell you. Better take a bath.”
The little boy nodded and turned the stops, and warm water fell over him. The wetter he was, the clearer the sky became. When the sky was clear, Owen said, “That’s enough, little Seth. Run along now.”
“I love you, Owen,” Seth said.
“I love you too. You know that Seth. Sometimes I’m gruff with you, but you know I love you.”
“Did mom and dad love me?”
“Why don’t you go to church and ask them?”
Seth nodded and went down the hallway, opening the front door of the ranch house Owen had never lived in, and found himself in the west transept of an enormous church filled with people milling about. It was a college chapel, but he couldn’t remember where, and it was the size of a normal church or bigger, so calling it a chapel was misleading. The ribs of the ceiling arched above. The nave, painted in gold and saints and angels, looked down on him. On the altar white candles burned and Kyle, his shaggy haired father, said, “Seth, you’re here. You were almost late.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Don’t sweat it, little man. You know what you could do for me? Go in the kitchen, and get me a cup off coffee.”
Seth nodded and walked across the front of the church, past the altar, not crossing himself, and into the large white kitchen where the women sat drinking coffee. Birds were singing on the window ledges. The kitchen hadn’t been cleaned in ages.
“How do you stop from killing yourself?” the first woman asked. “Life is such a pile of shit, how do you not just end it all?”
“Fuck the world and fuck people,” the other one said, “I just use lots of cocaine and feel that it will get me through.”
“Drugs is the only thing that helps me.”
“What the fuck do you want
 ” they asked Seth.
” they asked Seth.“He’s got a nice cock on him,” the other woman said.
Seth realized he was naked. Had he taken his clothes off when Owen had told him to bathe? No, but that hadn’t happened. As he tried to remember exactly when this had happened, he also knew he should be either embarrassed or pleased, but somehow the embarrassment or the pride did not quite reach him, and he said, “Can I get a cup of coffee?”
“You can get a snake for an egg and a stone for bread,” the redheaded woman said. She got up went to the refrigerator, gave him a snake and then gave him a stone, and the blond woman said. “You’re naked. You can’t go back like that. Here’ put this condom on.”
Back in the church, he came to his father with the snake and the stone, and Kyle smiled at him and said, “Thanks son. Go up to the altar before everything starts.”
Seth nodded and walked up to the altar and he thought, “I’ve done this before. I should know what’s about to happen. The priest was chanting while the altar boy swung incense:
“Lamb of God,
you take away the sins of the world.
Have mercy on us.”
The congregation sang it back. No one seemed to mind that Owen was up here with Seth. Laid out on the altar, the four candles on either side of her was his mother, her white dress covered in blood. He knew it was his mother because the two sides of her head split open and bloodied were his mother’s face, and between them the crablike mani eyed face said, “You’re finally here. Maybe you can stay. You should have come with us that day.”
The congregation sang in a stately unison:
“You should have come with us that day!”
“Seth, son!” Kyle called.
Seth turned around. His father was so handsome, taller than him, younger than he was now, small traces of his Black blood in his deep complexion and broad nose, in the thick curl of his shoulder length hair.
“look at this!” Kyle called. “You missed it before.”
Just like that, the two tons of automobile leapt onto the altar and slammed into Kyle pinnig him to the wall, his oranges splashing along the church wall, and Seth leapt into consciousness in his bedroom on the house on Bryn Mawr.
He was awake now, trembling and awake, but while he tried to leave his bed, all around him, the newly wakened him, the walls transformed into that church again and the murals of saints transformed, the angels shifting into demons, the saints sprouting several eyes, arms and tenracles, their mouths opening, their skins flipping inside out, the heads of the dead coming through the wall. Above his bed stood Kyle, smashed as any bug, his head crushed but still talking.
“Look at me son!”
He opened his mouth full of broken teeth. “Look at me.”
Seth screamed until the images faded, and he was left soaking in his bed, trembling from the dreams that never went away.
“You know this can’t go on,” Owen said that morning.
On the other side of the table, Seth ate his cereal while Owen sipped his coffee, and before him, black as graphite, stretched the blade of the Sword, its hilt silver and black, the rich grain ot the steal glinting in the morning.
“I hoped the Sword helped,” Owen said.
“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to touch it. After what happened to Eve.”
A small smile passed over Owen’s mouth and, turning the page of his morning paper he said, “Yes, that was unfortunate. But no, nephew, anyone who is allowed to touch the sword can touch the sword, but anyone who is not…” Owen shrugged.
“But back to what I was saying. You cannot keep sleeping with the sword in your room and still be protected. Your dreams have grown too powerful. They overwhelm you.”
“I think they’re just bad dreams.”
“Bad enough to put bags under your eyes,” Owen said. “And it they’re only bad dreams, then why are they still present when you wake? If they are merely bad dreams then why do I see them when I come into your room to quell them?”
Seth blinked, wide eyed, at Owen.
“Do you?”
“I do. Your dreams have become too powerful. You cannot neglect your family heritage. It is time to begin your training.”
Seth received this news with much glumness and he hung his head a little, not knowing how silly he looked as a grown man with a fringe beard in dress shirt and vest, sulking.
“When do we start?”
“Oh, we don’t start,” Owen said. “It’s Lewis who will teach you. You will be his Adept.”
“When did you all agree to this?”
“We’ve never spoken of it,” Owen closed his newspaper. “But we will discuss it when he and his most interesting lover come to dinner tonight.”
A Blessed New Year to you all and peace to Australians suffering in the bush fires. Peace to everyone who right now is suffering in this world.


 
						





 
 
		



















