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The Pearly Gates

Matthew 25:21 Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
 
How could you forget???

Deliveries are only taken in the rear.
 
"Well, bugger me, you made it! Get down on your knees, boy, and suck my cock!"
 
I think there would just be a lot of pointing and laughing.
 
Wrong door, Hun. The way to Nirvana is over there. This one is to keep to the crazy white people isolated for eternity.
 
"Awkward........So....i guess you saw the things ive done and said about you eh.....I'ma just go......."
 
"I know what you're thinking, and I'll clarify, it's called the Pearly Gates because it's made out of pearls, not cum."
 
He would say to me
"You did your best, but your best, wasn't good enough"
Then I would ask him how lonely he is in there.
 
I'll be wrestling jesus for his snuggie...

jesus-freedom-tray.jpg
 
"You are found to be not listed in the Book of Life. I will have to evaluate you myself. Now kneel down in front of me and work it."

Like hell that will happen :rotflmao:
 
Well, it would be something like this...

Peter: Hello Callum. There appears to be a mix-up.
Me: Oh? (As I bashfully remove my halo, peaking through the gates witnessing kinky heterosexual sex)
Peter: Yes. Stand a little to your left.
Me: Here?
Peter: No. A little further.
Me: 'Peter' means penis.
Peter sighs and pulls a lever.

Then I land in Hell on a fantastic plaid papasan chair with a Flaming B-52 and Lady Gaga is entertaining everyone on an elaborate yet intimate stage, with the American military and everyone else God hates because we were all wrong...the Westboro folk were right all-along.
 
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