CHAPTER
EIGHT
WE GET TO GO TOGETHER CONTINUED
The first time Brendan had tried it on himself, in fact the first twenty times, he’d been afraid. And when he’d seen it in the pornos, the whole time he’d wanted to do it, and have it done to him, he’d winced with imagined pain, especially in the movies where they announced: THIS IS HIS FIRST TIME!!!—the boy screamed like a pig while being fucked, his face turning red, and gritting, tears coming to his eyes even while he moaned with the need for it. And of course, the first time with Kenny he’d been afraid he was hurting him, and he was, actually.
But Brendan was surprised by how much he wanted it, and how it bruised at first, burned a little, but not enough to make him not want it, and then Kenny found entry, and it felt good to have him there. He was amazed by the hollow place now filled with Kenny, all of that firmness entering him, beginning to shuttle in him, touching him in the deep place, was Kenny.
“You… all right?” Kenny began, trying to say something solicitous, thinking he should speak. But that was all he said. Brendan’s legs went around him, his thighs drew him in. He ran his hands over Kenny’s back, trying to pull him in more and more, kissing his face over and over again, running his hands to the small of Kenny’s back, to smoothness of his ass. They came closer and farther, Brendan pulling him in more and more, murmuring:
“Oh, God, oh yes. Yes. Kenny.”
“I’m here Bren, I’m here,” he murmured over and over again, his jaw slackening now, his body slamming into him harder now, now that Brendan could take it, now that Brendan wanted it, his voice coming up in sharp little cries.
“Yes Ken, oh, oh, God oh, God Oh…oh no. Oh, no. Stop! Stop. Oh, God, oh, my God!”
Somewhere in that, Kenny slowed down. They were ecstatic sometimes, but Brendan’s sudden wailing, his, “Oh, my God. Oh stop… Oh, no…” of course, made Kenny do just that.
He pulled out of Brendan, whose arms loosed on his waist, and whose legs fell now. And Brendan was crying, and he was saying over and over again, “Oh, my God!”
There was nothing wrong with him, which was the first thing Kenny checked, and then he turned around dumbly, following Brendan Miller’s expression.
And while Brendan continued crying and reaching for his clothes, covering his genitals, Kenny beheld Liane Miller, Brendan’s mother.
“Brendan, stop it,” his mother ordered, tiredly.
Brendan and Kenny were both standing in the kitchen, Kenny’s face white, his body cold and his hands jammed into his pockets. Brendan stood beside him with his face in his hands crying.
“Brendan,” his mother repeated.
“I’m gay, Mom,” Brendan sniffed. “Kenny’s my boyfriend.”
His mother looked to Kenny, and then looked back to her crying son and said, “I had figured that out, Bren. Mostly.”
She shook her head.
“Go wash your face,” she told him.
Brendan nodded, and then, still sobbing lightly, left the kitchen, and Mrs. Miller, looking at Kenny standing there awkwardly, said, “And you go with him.”
“This is awful,” Brendan was saying as he ran cold water over his face. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to be gone all day…”
“Well, it’s done now,” Kenny said shutting off the water for Brendan who turned around to towel his face. “And it could have been worse. It could have been your dad.”
“Oh, my God!” Bren said. “Still, to have your mother walk into your bedroom while… Kenny, it was so perfect. I was so in the moment, and then door opened and over your head, there she was. It was a nightmare. I’ll never forget it. I…” Brendan stopped, touching his stomach.
“Wha?” Kenny said.
“I wanna throw up.”
“Save it for later.”
“How do I look?”
Brendan Miller’s face was green white except for around his eyes and nose where he was completely red.
“Terrible, baby,” Kenny told him, and led him back to the kitchen.
“When I woke up this morning, and left this house, I thought you were still a virgin,” his mother said, at last. “I thought you still had to learn about sex. And now it turns out you’re not even a heterosexual. I… This is what the whole Dena thing was about, wasn’t it?”
Brendan nodded. He didn’t feel like telling his mother he’d been sleeping with Dena. This was enough. If he could have he would have told her that right now was his first time. He could. Technically it was. He almost thought of blurting that out.
Instead he said, “What are you going to do, Mom?”
“I…” she looked at a loss. “What am I supposed to do? If you come home too late, you’re grounded. If you use drugs, you’re grounded, but this is the big one, honey.”
“I know, Mom.”
“I mean this is the big one that’s supposed to be the… no-no. And it is a no-no Bren, on so many levels. And… I don’t know what to do. You’re my son, you’re my baby.”
Kenny felt awkward. This was the woman who had seen him fucking her son, and he felt like this was not the place for him. She didn’t even know he was there. But if he moved to leave, then she would know, and then he would be in a position he did not want to be in.
“I can’t do anything. There is nothing for me to do,” she said.
“You can’t tell Dad,” Brendan said.
“No,” his mother agreed. “I can’t.
She added, “And I’m not sure you can either, right now.”
“I didn’t want to tell either one of you,” Brendan said. “This is…”
“Yes,” his mother said. “It is.”
“This is bad,” Will observed.
“It sure in the shit is,” Layla said. “Why didn’t you dummies have the sense to lock the door?”
“We…” Brendan began. “Mom wasn’t supposed to... We…”
“We really should have locked the door,” Kenny said.
“It’s really one of those things that it’s too late to change now,” Will told them.
Layla nodded.
“Have the two of you…?” Kenny said.
“Two of us what?” Layla said. Then, “Oh, no! Hell, no!”
“Hell no?” Will said, looking at her.
Layla looked at him.
“Oh,” she said. “Well, Will, it’s not that I don’t love you. Or that I don’t want to... But… I just don’t see the point in everybody throwing down. I’m not ready for that. Mind you—” she put up her hands, “I’m not judging. I’m just saying… I’d like to keep the mystery a mystery a little longer.”
Brendan nodded.
“I thought I’d be a virgin till my wedding night,” he said.
“Well, I never said that,” Layla said.
“Oh, good,” Will said.
“Whaddo you mean good?” she looked at him.
Will shrugged and Kenny said, “You mom’s not going to like… call my mom or anything? Is she?”
Brendan shook his head. “She’s not like that. I just hope she doesn’t want me to talk about it. This is the most embarrassing day of my life. I’ll never be able to… do it again without thinking of my mom.”
“I hope,” Kenny said, touching Brendan’s hair, “that’s not true.”
“It is sort of funny,” Layla said.
At the look from Brendan and Kenny she amended: “From a distance.”
“Distance plus tragedy,” Will observed, “equals comedy.”
“Well, I need a little more distance,” Brendan said, sharply.
“Do you want to stay the night?”
“That’s not even an option,” Brendan shook his head. “Mom’s going to be wondering what we’re doing. I mean, if she said yes.”
“Well, then I could spend the night at your place.”
“That’s definitely out now.”
“I wasn’t exactly serious. Howabout,” Kenny said, “you stay with Will and Layla. I mean, you tell your mom that. And then you just come home with me.”
In the darkness of the car, outside the Klaskos’ house, Kenny leaned into Brendan and murmured: “I’ll have the sense to close the door.”
Brendan snorted and shook his head after kissing Kenny’s mouth.
“No, we can’t do that, Ken.”
“Why not?”
“Mom’ll…”
“Fuck your mom,” Kenny said. “Which is, incidentally, not nearly as exciting as you fucking me. Or me fucking you.”
“You liked it,” Brendan said.
“I loved it.”
“I liked it too,” Brendan said in a small voice.
Kenny kissed his throat, sucked on it till Brendan moaned. He leaned forward and around so that he kissed Brendan on his mouth, and his hand went to his jeans.
“You thinking of your mother, now?”
Brendan, still caught in his kiss, shook his head.
Kenny touched him, and stroked him.
“What about now? Even when I bring her up.”
Brendan moaned and Kenny said, “I see I brought something else up. Whaddo you say?”
In a thick voice, Brendan said, “Hurry up and try not to run any red lights. Let’s go to your house.”