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Re: The post something funny thread.
^Yea, immediately. What the hell?
^Yea, immediately. What the hell?
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The post something funny thread
- Thread starter Poozy1
- Start date
- Featured
Re: The post something funny thread.
Typically graphic errors abound anymore.
Typically graphic errors abound anymore.
Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
Re: The post something funny thread.
https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net...=596958f21701b42085a6b6ce9593828b&oe=52F06074
https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net...=596958f21701b42085a6b6ce9593828b&oe=52F06074
Re: The post something funny thread.
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Re: The post something funny thread.
MissAnne
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Re: The post something funny thread.
Lefty decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Lefty, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”
Lefty says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
---
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
---
Lefty caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, your next!!"
---
An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum" he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"
"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the shit out of them!!"
---
Little Lefty gets home from school and says
"Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Lefty. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"
---
Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"
...
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
...
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
...
The last is always best
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVOURITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
~~~ Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!
Lefty decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Lefty, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”
Lefty says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
---
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.
---
Lefty caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, your next!!"
---
An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable?"
"Red Rum" he replied
"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"
"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the shit out of them!!"
---
Little Lefty gets home from school and says
"Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Lefty. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"
---
Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"
...
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
...
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
...
The last is always best
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVOURITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
~~~ Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!
Re: The post something funny thread.
Loving them, Dustin.
Loving them, Dustin.
Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
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Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
Poozy1
Maverick Hunter
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- Jul 6, 2005
- Posts
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- Reaction score
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- 0
- Location
- Home is where the heart is
- Website
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Re: The post something funny thread.
^ looool!
^ looool!
Re: The post something funny thread.
Poor Peyton.
