The Prayers in Rossford

[ChrisGibson]

This was definitely Noah's breakthrough chapter. But I thought you'd be more excited about Brendan and Kenny!

 

[CharmedFan28]

This was definitely Noah's breakthrough chapter. But I thought you'd be more excited about Brendan and Kenny!

I was excited about Brendan and Kenny, its good to see them doing so well. I was just concentrating on Noah as he has had a fair bit of story recently.

 

[ChrisGibson]

Ah, yes, and there will be a lot more of Noah. I love him.

 

[ChrisGibson]

CHAPTER
TWO

ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT





“Put that baby to bed, Thomas. Danasia, take your coat off and come into the living room. We’re going to open presents.”
“All of them?”
Lee looked at her.
“When did we ever open all of them on Christmas night? Don’t be simple. Just take off your coat.”
“Do I have to go to bed?” Tom squeaked in what must have been his baby voice, as he dandled Dylan, “I wanna stay up on Cwistmas too!”
Danasia and Lee both looked at Tom.
“Okay,” he said in his normal voice. “I’ll put the baby away.”
“That was disturbing in so many ways,” Danasia commented to her father, as Tom headed to the bedroom to put the baby to sleep.
“He’s a good man, though,” said Lee. “Go get undressed and come back out here.”
Tom, being Tom, had immediately gone to a store and purchased a crib. Lee didn’t have a mechanical bone in his body, and even though he tried to be helpful, in the end Tom had just asked him to go into the kitchen and “make cookies or something.” The only person Tom knew who was really mechanical was Brian, and he was afraid to call him. But Tom was also paranoid, and he weighed spending time building a crib with an ex lover against the life of a baby in a down come cradle and all situation, and chose Brian. Lee said nothing over this, but shook his head in wonder, and when the two men had finished building the crib, Lee commented, “Civility, at last.”
Brian shrugged, rubbing his hands, and said, “There really hasn’t been much civility between us, has there?”
Tom opened his mouth, but looked at Lee.
Lee said, “Don’t look at me. I’m just the niggah in the kitchen who makes the cocoa.”
“Did he really just…?” Brian began as Lee opened the refrigerator to, indeed, prepare the cocoa.
“Yeah,” Tom said. “Ever since Lee’s moved in things have gotten… a little more thick skinned. And a little more R rated.”
Brian shrugged and grinned.
“Lee,” he said, into the kitchen, “to get some cocoa, do I have to refer to you as… a nig—”
“Only if you have a deep need to get hit in the face. One cup coming up.”
Tom looked to Brian, who was still handsome, and remembered that at one time, this man who he often despised and distrusted, he had been so attracted to. He’d ruined a relationship to climb into bed with him. When he’d met Brian he had thought, here is someone so like me. He had honestly thought, as he always did, Fenn and I are nothing alike. Here is someone, a musician, like me, who will understand me. The attraction had been instant. The lovemaking had been staggering, and not staggering the way it was in books and movies. It had been, for lack of a better word, revelatory, almost frightening. In the past all there was had been Fenn. Now, here was another man with whom he had that connection. Fenn was a trickster, perhaps always a step ahead of him. Look into Fenn’s eyes and you learned very little, or only what they wanted to show you. Brian, who always pretended, was always so suave, changed when you looked into his eyes. His eyes told everything behind them. Back then they revealed that they were intensely in love, and that the two of them were connected.

Back in the present, on Christmas night, Tom still thought of that as he returned to the living room the same time Danasia did, and Lee said, “Get that big box under the Christmas tree. That’s you, girl.”
Like a child, Danasia put her hands together, stood up with a bright smile, pushing all of her troubles out of her head, and then went to the tree and the big box. After a few moments of her fiddling around, Lee said, “Just open the damn thing.”
She ripped the paper off, uncovered the box and began tearing away the tissue paper, a little dismayed the further she tore. From the mess of paper came another box.
“What the hell is this?” she murmured, opening it and tearing away more paper.
“Language, language, young lady.”
Out of the second box came still another box, and then Danasia lifted this lid, raising an eyebrow toward her father.
“Open it.”
She lifted the lid, and pulled up a sheet of paper, and then read it.
“Oh… my…”
Danasia covered her mouth, not completely able to talk or understand, caught in that place of sudden and unbelievable rescue.
“Thank Noah,” Tom said.
“He told us what you wouldn’t.”
“But… where?” she looked at the check, shaking her head. “I mean, how did you…?”
“That’s something you don’t even need to worry about,” Lee said.
“I’m so…”
“And if you notice,” Tom said, “there’s more than enough for you to have a little something for yourself. That was my idea, I’d like to say.”
“Yes, it was, Tom,” Lee said, slitting his eyes.
“That was,” Tom went on proudly, “so that you don’t have to get in trouble like this again.”
“I…” Danasia was quiet for a long time. “I don’t know what to say.”
Lee, being Lee, suggested, “You might try saying thank you.”

 

[CharmedFan28]

What a great Christmas night! I am glad Tom and Lee could help Danasia like that. Excellent writing and I look forward to more! (Just so you know I have Jury Duty again tomorrow and might for a few days after that so my comments may be late.)

 

[ChrisGibson]

Oh, thanks for that. But there is no such thing as a late comment. You know they had to come through for Dani! Everyone should get what they need on Christmas. Since I'm currently posting two things at once, I kept this Rossford portion shorter than usual,

 

[ChrisGibson]

CHAPTER
TWO

ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT




They sat on the sofa, Fenn yawning, Todd taking another sip from his mug of cider before putting his head back on Fenn’s lap.
“The house is quiet again,” Fenn said, looking around the large living room, at the winking Christmas tree, to the waxed over menorah that needed cleaning. Todd surveyed the presents under the tree and said, “You want one?”
Fenn covered his mouth as he yawned again and shook his head.
“I’m good till morning. I mean, unless you want to open one.”
Todd grinned at him, put his head on his chest again and snuggled up.
“I’m good too.
“Imagine, pretty soon we’ll have a little baby around here sometimes. If all goes right.”
“All will go right,” Fenn said. “It will go right.”
Todd looked at him.
“I was just remembering,” Fenn said. “Especially with it being Christmas and Dan saying the Mass and all… How I used to be. I used to be afraid all the time.”
“Of?”
“Everything,” Fenn said. “Scared of that money, scared it would run out. Scared that I couldn’t manage things. And I forgot things are simply not mine to manage. My whole life, almost forty years, I have thought that being courageous, being fearless, meant overcoming your fear. I thought it meant that I was courageous because I had overcome all the terror in me, the anxiety. And now… I think that being fearless means being fearless. Means having no fear.”
Todd sat up and said, “Baby, you didn’t tell me anything about this.”
“I thought it was just part of life,” Fenn said. “But you know, I take care of things. That’s what Fenn does. He takes care of them fearlessly, calls the shots. Most people like it that way.”
“You’re who I rely on,” Todd said. “Because… when we were afraid we couldn’t make the mortgage, or when I was afraid we’d get caught with the money… you weren’t. And now you’re telling me…”
“I’ve always been afraid,” Fenn sat up. “I think of all the times I thought I was depressed. It was low grade fear. It was exhaustion from fear. It’s so… I don’t know what I’d do without fear. It makes me a good actor. It makes me a good schemer. That’s what I found myself thinking when I skipped out after Communion tonight. And… I was sort of having a moment because it was like I was really seeing myself, who I had become. You made your decision to be a Jew. I made mine to stay a Christian. We both decided to be godly. You know? And that means having some fucking faith.”
Todd nodded.
“I had been thinking about last Lent. I was really, really, pissed off with God. I think I hated God. You’re discovering you were full of fear and I’m discovering I was full of fear and resentment and… this is the first Christmas I feel like something’s happening. This is the first time I feel like I’m breathing.”
“Yeah,” Fenn discovered. “That’s what it’s like, isn’t it?”
On the stereo, the choir was singing.
Fenn and Todd waited, half grinning, fingers pointed at each other. Todd opened his mouth, but Fenn shook his head and said, “Wait for it… wait… wait…”

And then with the choir they sang at each other:

“Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,
On on they send,
on without end,
their joyful tone to every home
Dong…. Ding…
Dong… Ding…
Dong

And Todd sang: “Bong!”

“There is no one I would rather grow old with than you,” Fenn told him.
“Oh, see I felt that way the day we got married at Saint James,” Todd said. “You thought it was silly. I knew it was right.”
Fenn pushed himself into Todd’s chest so that their positions were reversed now, and he said, “Todd Meradan, just because I complained all the way down the aisle doesn’t mean I didn’t always know it was right.”


“WE THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER get back!” Naomi said, rising from the couch and pushing her washed out blond hair behind her head.
“I thought you all would be asleep,” Noah said.
“None of that,” Paul told him. Claire rose up, lugging a bag, and they were both in winter caps, Paul’s sky blue to match his jacket. “We had to say goodbye before we left.”
“Left?” said Noah. “Leaving?”
“Family dinner in East Carmel,” Claire. “We’re about to head out now.”
“It’s two in the morning.”
“That’s what I said,” Naomi told them.
“Did Danny go, yet?”
“Danasia left and hour ago,” James said.
“And now,” Paul said chewing his ever present gum, “we’re about to do the same.”
He handed Noah a present and said, “See, I even wrapped it.”
“Thanks Paul,” Noah said, turning red. “I’m an ass. I didn’t get you anything.”
Paul shrugged. “That’s not what it’s about. Hey! Don’t shake it.”
“And put it down,” Claire said. “For now. Here’s mine.”
“You got me—”
“Yes,” Claire said. “And here it is.”
“This is a long one. And wrapped, and… it looks professional.”
“It is professional,” Claire said. “I can’t wrap to save me life. Or anyone else’s for that matter.”
“Can I open it?”
“You sure can,” Claire said. “On Christmas morning.
“I mean, it,” she said at the expression on Noah’s face.
“And believe me,” James said, “I’ve only known her for about two hours, but I’m pretty sure she means what she says.”
Claire nodded approvingly at James.
“Now hug us,” she commanded. “And let us go.”
They embraced, and then Noah hugged Paul. From the couch Naomi said, “And call us when you get in, to let us know you’re safe.”
Paul smiled at Noah, but Noah said, “Actually, that’s not such a bad idea.”
“It’s just East Carmel. It’s just a little over an hour away on a country road.”
“Good,” Naomi said, reaching for her Newports. “Then you won’t have any problem calling when you get in.”
After Claire and Paul had gone with the promise to call exacted from them, Noah looked out of the window, down below to the departing Jeep, and then he turned around and that was when Naomi said, “Now, I can go to bed, and you all can sit up and talk.”
“Mom,” Noah said, “I’m sure James is too tired to talk.”
“No, I’m not,” James said. “Besides, we need to do something while we’re waiting for Claire and Paul to get home.”


“Why did you come?”
“That’s a horrible question.”
“It is the way I asked it,” Noah acknowledged. “I didn’t mean to sound that way. It’s just… You’re the last person I expected to see. Not the last one I wanted to see, though.”
“I came because I missed you.”
They spoke slowly. At first Noah had been looking out of the window. Now he came and stood on the back of the couch. James rose up. So as they spoke they circled the couch
“And now you’re here.”
“Yes,” James sat down.
Noah said, “So much has happened to me. I can’t tell you any of it. I want to tell you everything. This is so strange for me.”
“It was never strange before. We were never strange before.”
“No,” Noah said. “But I made it strange.”
“Oh,” James said. “You still remember that.”
“Of course I remember it,” Noah shook his head in frustration. “It was only four years ago.”
“It seems like it never happened at all.”
“You should have stopped me.”
“Why?”
“I had no right.”
“Noah, you didn’t do anything. Not really.”
“Still,” Noah said down. “And then you disappeared. Or I disappeared. Whoever disappeared, I haven’t seen you since.”
“I think, Noah,” James said, “that it was you who disappeared.”
“Maybe. Yes. Probably. And… the things I’ve been up to. Well…”
“I have the Internet too. Besides, I was at the house today. Remember? That’s where I found you.”
Noah looked at him. “I didn’t know how much you knew.”
“I’m not a fool,” said James.
“No,” Noah said. “I don’t guess that you are. “You never were.”
Then Noah said, “How do you feel about it? About what I do?”
“How do you feel about it?”
“See!” Noah said. “There you go! That was always you. Why can’t you just tell me how you feel about the fact that I make movies?”
“Because it doesn’t matter how I feel,” James said. “Why won’t people get that! It doesn’t matter how I feel or you feel about someone else’s business. That’s between them and God.”
“God spoke to me tonight.”
“Oh?”
Noah looked at him closely.
“I just… needed to say that to you. I needed to look you in the face and see how you reacted when I said that.”
“How did I react?”
Noah shrugged. “I dunno. Like you always do.”
“Why does it matter how I react, or what I think? I’ve been gone for three years.”
“Now I think it’s you who’s asking silly questions,” Noah said. “If you really think how you feel doesn’t matter. If you think I don’t care about one of the only real friends I ever had.”
James nodded, betraying a touch of embarrassment, and then he pushed his glasses up with his middle finger.
“But you still haven’t answered my question,” he said. “About how you feel about the business.”
“I want to stop. I’ve wanted to stop. But I’m afraid, James.”
“Afraid of what?”
“You see those guys who get out and become part of the religious right, or something like that? I… Tonight I met someone who used to do pornos with me and he’s a priest. He’s not a bad person. I see that now. But I don’t want to be some reformed, oh my gosh I learned my lesson person. I don’t want to be… penitent. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like the only thing worse than being a porn star is someone who says, ‘Oh, I used to be a pornstar, but that’s in the past.’”
“You don’t want to be a hypocrite.”
“Yes!” Noah said. “That’s it. Why couldn’t I say it like that? And I don’t want to be someone who says I’ll never do it again when one day I might. And… who am I going to sleep with if I’m not doing dirty movies? I’ve… never been on a real date or had a real boyfriend or… anything like that. I’ve gotten drunk and got up to mischief. That’s about it. I…” Noah’s voice faltered.
“Go on,” James said, touching him tenderly.
“That’s why you’re one of the only people I love,” Noah discovered. “You make me able to say things that… that I never could to myself. You make me know things about me I was just too stupid to know. Like… I thought I was bored by life, that doing those movies was the only thing that excited me. But that was only part of it.
“One part of it is I don’t want to be one of those people that says, ‘I did it until I saw the light.’ Or… even worse, ‘It was just a stage for me, a part of necessary growth, and I moved past it. No regrets.’
“I do have regrets. I have lots of fucking regrets. How could I say ‘no regrets’? But then, the last part of me is just… I want to be this brand new person. I do, James. I want to be the person I’ll bet I was always supposed to be. But… I don’t know how to be him. Or where to start.”
James nodded, his tongue running along his gums.
“What?” Noah shifted in his seat. “What’s that mean?”
“Just that you’ve got a point. It is hard to become a new person.”

 

[CharmedFan28]

A great new portion! I am excited to read what happens next with Noah and James. Fenn and Todd are cute! Its good to see them happy.

 

[ChrisGibson]

I know, right? And it's good to have some happy endings tonight. At least for a while. Thanks for reading.

 

[ChrisGibson]

CHAPTER
TWO

ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT CONTINUED



“BITCH, YOU’LL DO WHAT I tell you!”
He moved toward Naomi with the baseball bat. Noah jumped in front of her. Butch knocked him to the ground. Noah scrambled up, but the bat came in his direction and Noah dodged it, lifting his hand, the top of the wood slamming his fingertips.
“Get off her!”
And Naomi screamed out his name.
From the corner of his eye, as Noah rose up, he saw the door open. But he turned around heading for Butch again, and then Butch came at him and Noah hoped he could catch the bat and not be hit in the groin, but just then Butch went down.
Noah turned around.
In his jeans and tee shirt, James stood there with the crowbar.
“Apparently I didn’t come back a minute too late,” he said, sighing. He tried to smile.
“You miss me?”
“James, shut up,” Noah said, standing up to hug him.
Naomi was crying on the floor and James said, “Mrs. Riley, you have to stop that.”
“James, help me get Butch the fuck out of here.”
Huffing and puffing they dragged Butch’s fat, smelly body out of the house, James harnessing him under the arms. Once he started to wake up, James casually hit him over the head one more time.
“Whaddo we do with him?”
“Put him in the car,” said James. “Drive the car far away. You get in mine all right. Follow us.”
Noah did not ask where this plan was going. He just nodded.
They went east down Route 13, literally nothing but the occasional stoplight and intersecting road, farm fields pale yellow because it was autumn. James stopped at the side of the road and drove into a ditch. Noah parked behind him.
James came out of the car with the keys and said, “Let’s go. I had to keep hitting him upside the head. If he’s not totally retarded when he comes to, he’ll feel like he is. Take these keys, Noah?”
“How’s he gonna get back?” Noah said, as he moved over and James took the driver’s seat.
James started up the car.
“Why the fuck do you care?”
*******

That night they sat with the car parked in a field outside of town. The moon rose up high and large, and Noah said, “If Butch comes back he’ll make straight for Naomi.”
“Maybe Naomi’ll get some sense and call the police. I don’t think anything ever happened to her that just had to.”
“I don’t know,” Noah said. “But I gotta get the hell out of here. I mean, as soon as I turn eighteen.”
“You can go to my school,” said James.
Noah shook his head.
“That’s not for me. I’m just going to go to California.”
“That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard.”
“James!”
“Well,” James shrugged. “Do whatever, Noah. But just get the hell out of here.”
They sat quiet like that for a while. James’ hand was casually placed on Noah’s thigh and just then Noah gave into his wonder. He placed James’ hand between his legs.
“I’m sorry,” he said as his hand rested lightly on James’ after his friend started in surprise.
“It’s just… my whole life people have been touching me there when I didn’t want to be touched. And I just wanted to know how it would feel to be touched in a good way. When I wanted it. It feels good, James. Please don’t stop. I’m not ready for you to.
“You don’t… have to do anything. You don’t have to make me come or anything like that. Just… I just need to feel you touching me right there. All right.”
James placed his head on Noah’s shoulder and nodded, and under the moon, Noah opened his legs and let down his pants and closed his eyes, feeling for the first time loved by another man.


Brendan Miller jiggled the key into the door slowly and, closing the door quietly, he locked it, untied his dripping shoes, left them on the mat, and then tiptoed through the black stone foyer beside the large, low living room. He was on his way up the stairs when he heard a voice drawl:
“Well, well, well.”
Carol sat on the couch in her white housecoat, looking pleased and sipping a cup of coffee. How could he have not smelled the coffee, he wondered?
“Little brother was up late last night,” she commented.
“And you’re up early.”
Carol shrugged. “It’s Christmas.”
Then she said, “Wanna talk?”
“I guess,” Brendan said. Then, “Yes. But I want to go upstairs and take all this stuff off.”
Upstairs Brendan threw his clothes in a pile and changed into his pajamas. He yawned. Part of him wanted to go to sleep. In a few hours it would be sunrise. The other part of him was almost happy about the interrogation Carol was sure to give him.
When he came back down she was not on the couch, but in the kitchen and she had poured coffee for him into a white a mug.
“Were you with Kenny?”
“You know I was.”
“Um.”
“Um what?” Brendan said, reaching for the powdered creamer.
“Nothing. Just… Ho Ho Ho.”
“You’re a horrible person.”
“And you’re wrong as hell if you’re going to use powdered creamer. Use this.” Carol handed him the hazelnut liquid. “It’s the holidays.”
“Maybe you should get your own love life,” Brendan said. “And then you won’t have to be so concerned with mine.”
“You could have something there,” his sister said as they crossed the foyer and settled back down on the couch in the wide living room.
“Or maybe I just need to get laid,” she said. “I miss getting laid. The boyfriend was sort of incidental.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“If you don’t think I mean it, then you don’t know me, Bren. God, men are so… They really are a mess.”
“I know I’m a mess.”
“No,” Carol put her hand on his knee. “I mean, yes. I mean I suppose you are your own type of mess, but not like some of the messes I’ve dealt with. I think if I could go into a dark room, have some stranger come and give me a good shagging and then leave, I would be completely happy.”
“Then you’ll like the Dildo I bought you for Christmas.”
“I bet that’s what you didn’t buy me,” Carol said. “But I think I could appreciate something like that.”
“Well,” Brendan shrugged, “That’s what birthdays are for.”


When Fenn Houghton woke up, he could hear Christmas music and pots and pans dinging downstairs. He knew the house was more or less full. This morning was bright and sunlight was struggling through the thick curtains.
He was on his stomach, face buried in pillows. Todd must have been downstairs. At least, he wasn’t here. Fenn turned over slowly. His throat was dry and his mouth was gummy. Sipping from the glass of water he kept by the bed and downing two Aleves he acknowledged how youth had flown by, quick and full of its own pains. Now middle age approached and there wasn’t a morning he didn’t pop pills. Time to be reflexive about this. If he had the same longevity as everyone else in his family, or most people in the world these days, the bulk of his life would come after thirty-five. He wasn’t at the end of anything, no, he thought, drifting back into sleep. He was at the beginning of at least fifty more years of infirmity.

“Are you going to get up or what?” Todd demanded.
Fenn turned over, shielding his face while Todd put a cup of coffee down beside him.
“Do you remember that time,” Fenn said, “before we were married, when you had your place and I had mine and I slept as long as I wanted to, and you never came into my room and told me to get up? Let’s pretend we’re back there again.”
“It’s eleven o’ clock,” Todd said, dragging Fenn out of bed and pulling him into pajama pants, as he raised his arms up to put on his tee shirt.
“It’s Christmas, goddammnit. It’s eleven on Christmas day which translates to wake up sleepy head.”
Todd dragged him out the bedroom and Fenn said, “I despise you sometimes, Meradan.”
“Yeah, I love you too, baby,” said Todd.
Downstairs his mother was stirring the sweet potatoes, and his grandmother was finishing off the macaroni while Adele put the finishing touches on turkey.
“It’s about time,” his mother said.
Adele added: “We could hear you calling hogs for the last hour.”
Fenn looked at all of them and said, “From hogs to heifers.”
Lula cackled, but his mother wagged a finger and said, “Now, see here.”
“Here you go.” Lee, holding Dylan, slipped Fenn a glass of something.
“Damn!” Fenn swore. “It’s more nog than egg in here.” He went from the cup of coffee in one hand to the egg nog in the other, and then said, “I need a cigarette. Danny, could you get my cigarettes? Where’s Tom?”
“Tom’s playing organ for the Christmas morning Mass,” Lee said, handing the baby to Todd whose fingers were aching for him.
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” said Lee. “Brian drove back home early this morning to be with his family.”
“Here you go,” Danasia handed Fenn his cigarettes and he said, “Thank you, baby,” as he lit one.
“Noah, Naomi and James are still at the apartment,” Danasia continued. “And Milo and Dena will be here later with Nell after they’ve had dinner at the Affrens.”
Fenn frowned and looked around the kitchen, “Where’s my niece?”
“She’s with Will,” Adele said, moving to the potato salad to chop onions.
“She said she had some sort of surprise for me.”
“That’s never good,” Fenn said, and putting his cigarette down, he reached for the baby.
“You know?” Fenn continued, “I never thought Brian would go back to Pennsylvania for Christmas. I sort of thought we were his family.”
Adele barked out a laugh.
“What?”
Adele pushed her hair back, and lifting the large casserole dish full of macaroni, said, “How could someone who slept with your man and broke up your house be family?”
And just then Layla opened the door and entered with her surprise.
The macaroni just missed crashing and Adele vacantly placed it in the stove and shut the door, staring murderously at her daughter.
Lee said, “Goddamn.”
Lula said, “Goddamn.”
Beside Layla Lawden stood Vanessa Lawden, Julian’s mother, Hoot’s mistress.
Layla said, “I brought your sister.”


“How could she…? How could…?” Adele choked on her words as she walked back and forth in the little study Todd used as his office. “That little… That treacherous heifer. I should… I will,” Adele crushed her fist into her palm.
“Adele,” Simon began. He had arrived approximately five minutes after Vanessa Lawden, and four minutes after Adele, in a rage, had locked herself in Todd’s study.
“That… bitch!”
“Vanessa? Or Layla?”
“Hell,” Adele exploded. “Both of them.”
The door opened and Adele made to fly for it with her fist, but it was just her brother.
“Is everything kosher in here?”
“Fuck no—” Adele began.
“Nothing,” Simon said calmly, “is kosher in here. Not yet.”
“Well, you have to come out sooner or later,” Fenn said. “Because I’m having a hell of a time being the happy host with the sister we never knew.”
“Who is a treacherous slut!”
“Who is Julian’s mother,” Fenn reminded her.
Adele stared wildly at her brother.
“Layla had a point.”
“Layla had no right!” Her mother fired back. “When we get home I’m gonna light a fire in that little girl’s ass.”
“Layla is seventeen, almost eighteen, and I doubt she’d let you do that,” Fenn said.
After a moment, he added, “In fact, I doubt that I would let you do it.”
When Adele’s eyes lit up, Fenn gave her a look that said her anger was irrelevant, and continued:
“When you get home, all you can do is be pissed off with her, and what’s the point in that?”
“Look,” his sister said, “I’m not you. I… you just forgive Tom, invite Brian into your house. Make him family and shit. I am not you.”
“No, you’re not,” Fenn agreed. “You haven’t even forgiven them for something they did to me ten years ago, almost.”
“That’s right. That’s who I am,” Adele said. “And… Hoot and that woman made a fool out of me for twenty years.”
“And,” Fenn added, “the wound is still fresh.”
For some reason, Adele hadn’t expected Fenn to understand. She was subdued. She nodded.
“I know,” he said. “If… If I had to accept Tom into my house, or Brian… A month after what had happened, I know I couldn’t do it. And I’m sorry you have to. It’s only been sixth or seven months. But… you do have to, Dell. We both do. She’s here.”
Fenn kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll see you out here in a couple of minutes.”
And then left the room.
Hands folded across her chest, Adele said, “Fenn has spoken.”
“Is what your little brother says always law?” Simon asked, amused.
Adele said, “Well, you know him… Yes, it is.”
Simon nodded and touched Adele on the elbow.
“Listen. You and me… We’re going to go out there, and you’re going to be civil and decent not for her sake, but because it’s who you are. That’s the woman I know, and you’re not going to let this…. You’re not going to let her get the better of you. You’re not going to sink to her place. And,” Simon said, touching her under the chin and grinning down at her, “I’m going to be with you the entire time.”
Adele nodded giving an almost smile, and then, taking his hand, she headed out of the room with her man.

 

[CharmedFan28]

Sad to read more of Noah's tragic childhood. At least he had James. I am glad Brendan had an honest conversation with his sister. Big drama at Christmas lunch! I can't wait to read what happens next! Great writing!

 

[ChrisGibson]

There really was a lot going on in this portion, wasn't there? And we haven't even gotten out of Christmas yet. Noah's life until he left Rummelsville is nothing but a valley of tears, and though on one hand you can say it's over, on the other hand it is the trauma that always effects him, and its still current. Explains a lot that happens to him and especially the rage of chapter one.

 

[ChrisGibson]

ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT
CONTINUED


There was a long rapping on the Millers’ door, and then another long rap.
“I’ll get it,” Brendan said, rising from the table.
“Dena!”
“Get your ass over to Fenn and Todd’s right away!” Dena burst into the house followed by Milo.
“Merry Christmas,” she said as Carol came out of the dining room.
Milo waved, awkwardly, and said, “Merry Merry, all!”
“You have got to get over to Fenn and Todd’s.”
“I had planned to. Eventually,” Brendan said.
“Not without me,” Carol said.
“Brendan, bring your friends inside,” his stepfather called.
Brendan shrugged and gestured them inside.
In the dining room, Liane Miller stood up and said, “We’ve got plenty. Sit down.”
“Oh, we’re on our way somewhere, ma’am,” Milo told her. “We just wanted to invite Brendan—and Carol—” Carol nodded, “over later on.”
“Well, we’ll be there,” Carol said.
“But do you know who else’ll be there?”
Brendan opened his mouth, and then raised an eyebrow.
“I suppose a bunch of people will be there. But… anyone special?”
“If you count Julian’s mother who had a secret affair with Layla’s dad for twenty years and also happens to be her aunt, then yeah.”
“Shit!” Brendan said.
“Bren!” his mother reprimanded.
“I… I mean…” Brendan put a hand over his mouth.
“I know I’m missing something,” Carol said.
“You know Layla?” Dena looked at her.
Carol nodded.
“Well,” Milo explained, “her mother found out that her father was having an affair with another woman and this woman had a son: Julian.”
“Knew that. For the most part.”
“And then it turned out that this woman had been married to Layla’s dad. And divorced. And they’d gotten back together and been fooling around for the last sixteen years or so.”
“Oh, my,” Liane Miller, who had not meant to be listening, said.
“Yeah,” Dena said. “And then it turned out that Layla’s mother’s father had an affair too, and that this woman, the other woman, is actually—”
“Fenn Houghton and Adele Lawden’s half sister,” Liane said. She knew Fenn and Adele, though not well, and here Dena nodded.
“That,” Mr. Miller said, “is one story.”
“And—” Milo added, “today Layla decided to surprise her mother and her uncle by bringing the woman to Christmas dinner.”
“Oh, no,” Brendan wailed.
But Carol clapped her hands together, laughed and cried, “Oh, Snap!”

“I can’t believe I did it.”
“Yeah, but we know why you did it.” Will said, sitting in the window seat beside her.
“I don’t even know why I did it,” Layla said.
“Just,” she said, “it seemed like it was time. I am becoming friends with Julian. I couldn’t stand Julian. Why? Because of something his mother and our father did. That’s it. That and his name’s Julian, which I still think is pretentious, but you know what, that’s not his fault either.
“And… she is my aunt. We are a family, so…”
“So you brought her here.”
“Layla!”
“Oh, shit,” Layla said.
“We’ll go out together,” Will offered his hand.
“You want to march out in front of my mother.”
“I’ve seen your mother.”
“You’ve never seen her angry.”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Says the white boy about the middle aged Black woman.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Will said, leading her out of the room. “You’re my girl, and that means I’m at your side.”
Adele was on the other side of the door, and she said, “Will, I need to talk to my daughter.”
“All right,” Will nodded.
“Alone.”
“If she wants that,” Will said. “And I don’t think she does, Mrs. Lawden. Layla was just doing what she thought was right. And I support her. I agree.”
Adele entered the room and looked at Will for a very long time, and then said, “Layla, you are very lucky.”
“Will,” Layla said, “I need to talk to my mother.”
Will looked at her carefully, and Layla said, “Yeah. It’s okay.’
Will nodded and walked away slowly.
“You should have told me what you were planning.”
“If I had told you, you would have said no.”
Adele opened her mouth.
“You,” her daughter repeated, “would have said no. And I couldn’t have that.”
Her mother looked at her.
“Because we’re a family,” Layla said. “And we’re going to act like one. Now…” Layla shook her head in frustration, “Get over it.”
And then she turned around and went down the hall.

“Don’t we need to get to your friend’s house?”
“Not yet,” Noah said, hopping out of the car. “Damn, isn’t any place open?”
“On Christmas day?”
“Half the stores in the mall are closed,” Noah said, ignoring James as the doors opened and he entered the large, lit lobby.
“I can’t believe anyone is actually here,” James took off his gloves, and shoved them into the pockets of his large, black overcoat.
“What do you want?” Noah said, turning around and taking his hat off so that his red brown curls bobbed. His nose and eyes were ringed in red from the cold.
“Whaddo you mean?”
“For Christmas,” Noah said. “I would like to surprise you, but you’re here with me.”
“This is nuts.”
“Anything you want,” Noah said. “Anything you want, and make it something big.”
“Noah, I don’t understand you.”
“I didn’t get anything,” Noah said, “For anyone. I… I was so convinced that… no one would get me anything. That I didn’t matter. I don’t buy Christmas presents. Not ever, really. And I thought…
“Look, last night when Paul and Claire gave me their gifts I felt so bad. I mean a gift means people are thinking of you, and…”
James waited a long time. They had arrived at the first center court, where there was a little water fountain.
“And I don’t give people gifts because… I don’t want them to know I think about them. I’m not supposed to let folks know I care. So… I didn’t give anything. And… I do care. I don’t want to be how I used to be.”
“And you think spending lots and lots of money on people will change you?”
“It’s not even about that,” Noah said, frustrated. “See, you always do this.”
James recognized familiar old territory and said, “Fine. Never mind. Let’s go shopping.”
“Thank you,” Noah said.
“I’m no fool. If the choice is between fighting with you and making you buy me something expensive, I know what I’m going to choose.”


“It’s feeding time!” Todd shouted into the living room.
“Don’t say feeding time,” Lula said. “This ain’t a zoo. It’s a civilized household. Say, gather ‘round.”
“Leave the boy alone,” Leroy told her.
“Look, don’t say shit to me.”
“Look,” Fenn said, “No one say shit to anyone. Let’s just,” he made a gesture toward the dining room table.
“Mind your manners,” his grandmother and his father said at once.
“My house,” Fenn declared. “My manners.”
“I don’t know what’s come over you, boy,” Leroy shook his head, shambling to the table beside his other daughter, who he probably thought needed some protection from Adele. “First this white baby, and then no manners. You’ve just lost yourself, boy.”
“Says the man who fathered his son-in-law’s mistress,” Fenn noted as he sat beside Todd in the middle of the table.
“Todd, you wanna say the blessing?”
“I’m Jewish. “
Fenn looked at him.
“It’s Christmas.”
Fenn just looked at him.
“All right, to heck with it.”
Todd put out one hand for Fenn to take it and another for Nell, and as they linked hands and bowed their heads, there was a heavy knock on the door, and then it came open and, between Lee and Adele, Danasia stood up.
“We need a little help, here,” James’s voice came through the door.
“I like that boy,” Fenn commented. “Is he Noah’s?”
“I can’t see that,” Julian said, coming to the front door with Danasia.
“Noah… what the hell is all this?” she said, sweeping bags and boxes into the living room now filled with cold air.
Now Fenn got up too, and Noah said, “There’s more in the car.”
“There’s a lot more in the car,” James added.
“I think he’s lost his mind,” Danasia commented as if Noah wasn’t there.
“I have not,” Noah shouted, running back to the car. “I’m just full of Christmas cheer.”
Before heading back to the car, James whispered to Danasia: “Yes, I think he has too.”

 

[CharmedFan28]

Great new part of the story! This thing with Julian's mother coming over is interesting. I am wondering what is going to happen next. I am glad that Noah feels he has friends now. I don't know if he had to spend a lot of money but I guess ill have to wait and see if he did. Good writing as usual!

 

[ChrisGibson]

Well, everyone he's spending money on already has it. But Noah is like a radio dial that jumps all over the place trying to find the right station. He just isn't a subtle creature. Tomorrow night: The Good Guys, a Jay and Michael Story.

 

[ChrisGibson]

ON CHRISTMAS NIGHT
CONCLUSION

A few moments later, Noah was at the dinner table and Todd said, looking around, “Is anyone else supposed to come.”
“Well, anyone could come,” Tom said. “I mean, anyone does come here.”
“Let’s say some damn grace!” Leroy said.
Todd nodded his head and said, “Thank you, Lord, for bringing us all here, and all together on this Christmas day. Thank you for… new members,” he looked to Dylan. “Thank you for making us all a family and bless all of those we love who aren’t here today—”
“In Jesus’ name,” Anne cut in.
“Sure,” Todd said, noncommittally, and added, “Amen.”
“Um, pass some turkey,” Leroy rubbed his hands together.
“Mom,” Julian said, “Could you pass the sweet potatoes?”
Vanessa reached for them at the same time Adele did, and the two women’s eyes met.
“Here, you have it,” Adele said.
“Adele?” Vanessa began.
“Um hum?”
“Do you think we could begin to be friends?”
Adele frowned and said, “How about we just restrict it to me passing you the potatoes?”
“I thought of inviting Daddy,” Layla began, and her mother said:
“But then you knew it would be too much.”
“Yes, Mother,” Adele said, smoothly. “I did.”


“This,” Fenn held the speaker of the stereo on his lap, “is beautiful, Noah.”
Noah nodded his head up and down, so pleased he looked vaguely stupid.
“But, Noah…?”
He nodded.
“Why? I mean… this is really expensive.”
“Fenn, you got me a beautiful coat!”
“I didn’t get you a million dollar coat.”
“I… I don’t get it.”
“Noah, this is very expensive. The stuff you got is very expensive.”
“But… we have money. We’re rich. I… just want to give things to people I care about. That’s all!”
Fenn opened his mouth, closed it, was quiet a while, and then he decided on: “Well… Thank you.”
“Thank you, Fenn,” Noah said.
Fenn looked at him.
“For worrying. I mean, there were times when I used to buy stuff for people. Try to buy them and all and, they never worried about it. They never said I shouldn’t. They just took it. When I had cash they were there to get as much as they could. And then when the stuff was gone so were they.”
“Well,” Fenn said, he and Noah hefting the stereo out of the next box, “there is a difference between me and those people.”
“Yeah,” Noah grunted as they set the stereo on the carpet. “You’ve got a heart.”
“No,” Fenn said.
Noah looked at him.
“The difference is that I’m a lot richer than you.”

More on Friday. Tomorrow, The Good Guys, Part II

 

[CharmedFan28]

Sorry for the delayed response I missed this post! An interesting Christmas night conclusion! I sense Noah and Fenn might be about to have a huge fight but I might be wrong. I think Adele is taking being in the same room as Julian's Mum better then expected. Great portion and I look forward to more!

 

[ChrisGibson]

I think if Noah and Fenn stay in a room too long there is always a danger of a fight. I thought you might have missed the post, but I figured you would find it eventually, and there won't be more Rossford until Friday at any road. By then there will be some other folks coming back, and we can finally be done with Christmas! Cheers.

 

[ChrisGibson]

CHAPTER
THREE

OLD IS
NEW AGAIN

When he returned from Pittsburgh it was early in the morning and he’d driven all night. Brian smelled, to himself, like the cold and like musty clothing. He parked in one of the large car ports behind the apartment building and then, once he’d made it to his place, made an almost beeline for the shower and stayed under its heat for the better part of a half hour. His neck and his face and his chin itched, but he was too tired to shave. Christmas seemed to have lasted forever. In his head danced his brother, his sisters and his nieces and nephews, his aunts and uncles and his impossible father. Pictures of himself smiling, dandling babies, laughing along with his brothers and cousins rained down on him. As he toweled off and climbed into joggers and sweatshirts he thought:
“They’re so much better before I get there.”
He wouldn’t see them again until Easter. He wasn’t ready to admit he could afford not to.

Once he woke up to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet. For some reason being in your own home loosened the orifices. He was there half asleep for a long time, and then, yawning, went back to bed.

In his dreams there was a steady thumping. Thump, thump, thump, thump.
“Go away, Rabbit,” Brian murmured and turned around rubbing his unshaved face into the pillow.
Thump thump, thump thump.
“Ummmmm,” Brian mumbled.
“I know you’re there! I saw your car.”
Brian woke up. He jumped out of bed and ran to the door. He threw it open and pulled in Chad by his face, kissing him.
“I missed you,” Brian breathed through kisses. “I almost forgot I was alive,” he said, bringing Chad into the house. “I almost thought you were a dream.”
Chad, hands ivied in Brian’s hair said, “No, I’m real enough,” and kissed him again.
Brian lifted him up, and Chad’s legs went around his waist.
“Let me get my coat off!”
“I’ll get your coat off,” Brian said. Putting the boy on the coffee table, he unpeeled the car coat from Chad, and kissed his throat, unwrapping the scarf from around his neck. Chad pulled off the stocking hat and Brian said, “How was your Christmas?”
“Weird,” Chad said. “Everyone I wanted to be with was here. Unless you count Radha and Jesse.”
“Um,” Brian said, trying to sound sympathetic. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
He shimmied out of his jogging pants and they made love like that, Chad’s thighs wrapped around him, Brian’s hands planted on the base of the table, fucking him, a look of exhilaration on his face, nostrils, flared, drops of sweat forming under his tee shirt, on the small of his back.
“Uh… ahh…” Chad groaned, and he pulled Brian in harder, and they didn’t say much of anything, just occasional gasped and cried out in pleasure until it was over. Brian was bent over him. Chad’s fingers were loosely resting on his back and in his hair.
“We can go to bed for awhile,” Brian whispered.
“Yes,” Chad said, half dazed. “I think I’d like that.”


“I kept thinking about calling you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“The last thing you’d want is this old man harassing you all the way from Pittsburgh.”
Chad rolled over on his side to look at Brian, to run his hands over Brian’s cheekbones, and brush the back of his hand against his neck.
“Do you just say that so I can reassure you and say, no, no, you’re not old at all?”
“Compared to you, I am.”
Chad took his hand away and placed it on the pillows.
“Yes. I suppose you are.”
At the frown of Brian’s face, Chad laughed.
“See,” he said, sitting up. “I got you!”
Still on his side, Brian looked up at him with a little smile.
“The whole time I was back home I kept wanting to come back. I felt like Christmas was twice as unbearable as before, and I wondered if you were a dream. Or what we had was a dream. I wondered,” Chad said, running a hand over one of Brian’s long hands, down the long arm dusted with dark hair, “if you’d found another boy.”
“No you didn’t,” Brian said.
Chad shrugged. “You’re so beautiful. You can have anyone you want. Of course I thought it.”
“I thought that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Brian told him. “All I’ve been able to think about is you coming back. That’s the truth.”
Chad smiled down at him, and then Brian sat up so that they were side by side. He stretched out his arm against Chad’s and said, “We’re so alike….” He took Chad’s hand and twisted it with his own. He stretched out their arms, “But not. All at the same time.”
“I’m littler than you.”
“And smoother, and not at hairy,” Brian told him.
“I think you have the most beautiful hands.”
“You’re screwing me for my hands are you?” Brian flashed him a grin.
Chad shrugged again. “You were my piano teacher. It’s the first part of you I saw.”
Brian shook his head, and with a hooked grin he reached around Chad and held him to him.
“I’m so glad I’m not your teacher anymore.”
“Yeah, that was getting a little difficult.
“You’re still gonna write me a letter of recommendation for grad school, right?”
Brian spread out his arms and said, “Chad North is an accomplished musician, has a wonderful mind where musical history and theory are concerned, and is the fuck of the century.”
“That sounds about right,” Chad said. “As long as you put fuck of the century in bold print.”
“Well but, of course.”


“Every time we come back here, I never know quite how I feel,” Radha said from the passenger seat.
“Like Chicago. Well, it’s Chicago, and that’s what it’s got going for it. But as soon as we cross that Mile High Bridge and we’re coming back into Indiana, even when we’re passing through Gary, and you can smell it, I think, ‘We’re almost back in Rossford.’ Almost back at school.”
“And you like that?” Jesse didn’t take his eyes off the road. He didn’t believe in people who multitasked too much in anything while driving.
“I didn’t before,” Radha admitted. “I used to hate it, last year. But this year we’ve got friends.”
“I had Chad last year, and didn’t feel that great about going back to tell you the truth.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t know anything about him last year.”
“I can’t believe he’s gay.”
“I can’t believe you can’t believe it,” Radha said. “How stupid are men?”
“Men aren’t stupid. We just don’t feel the need to know everything.”
“Then men are ignorant?”
“I’m going to pay attention to the road now, Radha.”
Radha shrugged and said, “I can’t wait to see what Claire got for Christmas. Actually, I can’t wait to find out what kind of dirt she might have learned.”
Jesse said nothing.
“But really,” Radha said, “this is the semester I’m going to get laid by lots of guys. I can feel it.”
She looked at Jesse. No reaction.
Radha pouted a little.
“You hear what I just said?”
“I believe you just declared you were going to be a slut.”
“I said—”
Jesse sighed, “Since you’re obviously not going to let this be a quiet ride, what you said was, ‘This is the year I’m going to get laid by a bunch of guys. I can feel it.’”
Radha curled up in as much of a ball as one can when she’s in a seat belt, and played with a strand of her dark hair.
“What I meant is... I can feel it in my snatch.”
“Oh, God!”
“Or I will feel it in my snatch. I mean, I’m going to feel it, and feel it and feel it as much as I possibly can in my snatch this year.”
“You’re really…. You know? What the hell is wrong with you? You’re a really whacked out baby sister.”
Radha shoved out her bottom lip.
“I wish I could get high right now,” she said, wistfully. “I wish we had a jay.”
“That,” Jesse told her, as they approached the first of the toll stations, stretching across the highway, “is the first smart thing you’ve said all day.”


When the door opened, Nell Reardon blinked.
The man standing in Barb Affren’s door smiled and tilted his head:
“Nell Meradan?”
“Nell Reardon… Who is Meradan again…”
She stared at him. He was a little taller than she, in glasses with wavy, short blond hair.
“Bill…?”
“Yes. Yeah. Come in. Don’t stand there in the cold. Mom, we’ve got a visitor.”
Nell heard no response from Barb as she walked into the living room, but Bill said, “What brings you here?”
“Well, I was looking for my daughter,” she said. Then, when Bill seemed confused, “Dena. She’s dating Milo.”
“Wait a minute?” Bill snapped his fingers. “You’re… Oh, this is too much. We haven’t seen each other since... Sit down. You just sit right down, and I’ll be right back. Hey, can I get you something?”
“Uh… just my daughter?”
“Oh—she’s a beautiful girl. She and Milo went out. How about egg nog? We got some from New Year.”
Nell realized that Bill was not going to let her go.
“Great,” she said with a forced smile, and Bill said, “I’ll be right back.”
He returned with two tumblers of egg nog and said, “What about a shot of bourbon?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m driving.”
“Oh, well,” said Bill. “Well, then I’ll refrain myself. This is great. Nell Meradan! And you had a little brother.”
“Todd. He’s a… big brother now.”
Bill grinned and said, “What are you up to now?”
Nell opened her mouth, and then she said, “You know what? This is just very strange for me.”
“I’m sorry,” Bill said.
“No, it’s just… I haven’t seen you in… Wow, almost thirty years. Not quite thirty. But…. And here you are. And…”
“I know,” Bill said. “Actually, when you think about it, it’s strange that it’s been that long. And… we haven’t seen each other since.”
“I heard,” Nell said, “that you did really well for yourself. Actually, a friend of mine—do you remember Adele Houghton?”
“Of course! And Fenn. Mom talks about Fenn a lot.”
“Yeah, well, my little brother is Fenn’s partner.”
“Wha? Like, life partner?”
“Life partner, partner in crime. All of it.”
“So he’s that Todd,” Bill marveled. “I’ve heard about him a while, and Dena. I’ve seen her since I got back here. But I never imagined…” Bill sat on the sofa, his legs wide apart, and rubbed his considerable chin in appreciation of life’s many surprises.
“Well, anyway,” Nell said, taking a sip from the egg nog, and liking it, “Adele told me you had gone off to….UCLA, I think it was.”
“That was a while ago,” Bill nodded.
“And then Wharton was it? The business school. And you were insanely rich.”
“Well, I remember the insanity part better than the rich part,” Bill said, and Nell said, “You know what? I will take a shot of that bourbon.”
Bill nodded at her. “One shot coming up. And I will too.”
As he poured the bourbon from the bureau on the far side of the room, Bill said, “And what else do they say about me? I mean… how insanely rich did they tell you I was?”
“Frankly?” Dena said.
“Oh, very frankly, please.”
“That you’re a millionaire.”
Bill came back with the bourbon, hit her glass first, and then said, as he touched his and closed the bottle.
“Can I share a secret with you?”
“I’m waiting.”
“If,” Bill said, “you find yourself in the position of being a millionaire, you might find yourself buying million dollar houses and million dollar cars, and sending your kids to million dollar schools. You may not ask yourself why you need a million dollar house. You may not ask yourself why your children need a million dollar pre-school. You just do it, and then you realize that… you don’t feel very much like a millionaire.”
Nell nodded. “I never thought of it that way,” she said.
“I went to business school to get one of those jobs that started at a hundred thousand a year.”
“And you got it?”
“And lost it. And now most people are going to have a very hard time getting those kinds of jobs again. What with what’s happened and all. Back on Long Island it’s a lot of people with heavily mortgaged houses, very long faces and a lot of stress about right now.”
“Are you going to tell me,” Nell began, “that you look back and wish that you had seen the simpler things in life, stayed in Rossford and not been seduced into working for Lehman Brothers?”
“It was Merrill Lynch, actually, and no I wasn’t,” Bill told her. “Because right now I don’t know what I wished I had done. I don’t really know much of anything.
“I… have had a very good life, but I don’t know if it is an important one. I mean, I do have a sense I could have had another one. And I think I made mistakes, only I don’t know what they are. I… There are a lot of people I know who I think feel the same way.”
“All of those people,” Nell said, sipping her egg nog, “think that people like me, in Rossford, don’t understand that, right?”
Bill looked at her.
“Or you do, right?”
Bill said, “You are not like my wife at all.”
She blinked.
“You’re like I remember you,” Bill said. “You’re… to the point. I… No,” he sat up. “I did not think that ‘the common man,’” he made quote marks with his fingers, “would be unable to understand my rich white guy problems. I thought, which is why I am talking to you, that Nell Meradan wouldn’t understand. Because… Nell Meradan knew who she was. You haven’t changed in that respect at all.”
Nell nodded and said, “Nell Meradan fell in love when she was eighteen with the man of her dreams who still thinks, Bill, that one day he will be what you’ve already been. He uh… had to have the finest of everything, had to trot me out to every party. Had about as much of a sense of humor as… a billy goat—”
“And not one of those funny billy goats, either.”
Nell raised an eyebrow and said, “Hardly. And… in the end he decided to molest my younger brother, and when Todd was barely sixteen and Dena was a baby, I found the two of them in bed together.”
Bill sucked his breath in.
“On top of that, William, I am so messed up that I have spent the intervening fifteen year, yes count them, living like a nun, untouched, not even thinking dating a man is a possibility because I have convinced myself there is nothing to me but a woman who is Dena’s mother, past love and long past her prime.”
Bill laughed out loud here and Nell looked at him sharply.
“I’m baring myself to you.”
“I see that.”
“I don’t bare myself to anyone.”
“And I respect that,” Bill told her.
“But you are not even close to being past your prime.”

 

[CharmedFan28]

Brian and Chad are so good together! It was nice to hear more about Nell. Great writing! Excellent section and I look forward to more soon!