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The Starbuck's Guy

boy0boy

boy0boy

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So on an "outing" with my best friend. (the first person I told) We decided to go to Starbucks and have a drink so we're sitting in the corner in view of the whole store and this cute guy who works there walks out from the back room he was apparently in when we got there.

So he's cute and I point him out to my friend Grace and she's all trying to get me to do something like make a move. I kept glancing at him and caught him looking a few times! haha It was so great my first time being out and being "out." So we continue chatting and glancing and Grace telling me to make a move, and to my surprise he comes over and sits in the nice comfy chairs (the nice ones at starbucks usually like two of them) right in front of me! I had just been telling my friend about how I needed to learn "cruising" techniques or actually anything about cruising since I'm such a newbie.

I had told Grace at her constant prodding, "you can't just come on to anyone, what if he's straight that would not be good" and i guess being new to all this it feels like EVERYONE is straight, haha. So he's sitting in front of me and I look and notice his keys had a RAINBOW keychain!!! I WAS SO STUNNED AND HAPPY!!!

I was like OMG, he came over here on purpose!! After all those looks! So Grace is more pushy telling me to give him my number... I wait for a few minutes and he gets up and goes to the counter. So I get sad and look down and Grace tells me "awwww you missed it, he gave you a look like he was sad that you didn't make a move" so then he goes and gets his stuff like he's leaving and i got real sad, and we come up with a deal after struggling and letting myself and Grace writing my number on a piece of paper- that i'm going to leave and she'll give it to him. So thats what happened. i was so nervous i just about ran back to the car and she told me the details

she just went up to him and said "this is from my friend who i was sitting with"
and he smiled and said "okay"


i thought it was a funny story since its like my first experience:D
 
actually i put it together afterwards that my friend wrote the wrong area code...

so if he really wants to i guess he could figure it out, dial without the area code


but i don't know if i would answer either ways:(
 
I sincerely hope he was on a ten or a half when he sat down with you...

I work for starbucks, haha.

Something similar happened to me not too long ago, 'cept I was the barista, and we've been dating for the last couple of months.
 
lol that sounds eerily close to what happened the other night I was with my friends. We went to see SuperBad, then I stopped off at starbucks shortly after we got out, and it was right down the strip... tons of people were around the area as its packed for dinner / movie night.

Anyways... went into starbucks, and noticed 2 guys sitting at a table I passed, my friends came trickeling in shortly after, but I was waiting for my coffee, and glanced over to see one of them checking me out, lol.

And apparently while I wasn't looking my friend caught the other guy checking me out.

Boy was that flattering... and a turn on at the same time, haha....
So I guess in a way I had a similar experience =P
 
>>>i'm just too shy i guess

Or too inexperienced. The first time is tough, but it gets a lot easier. Remember - we're not some sort of alien species. We're people. We're not that foreign. We like to be talked to and smiled at. :)

If the phone rings, answer. You won't get any better at it until you start practicing. ..|

Lex
 
Good advice, Lex.

I'm just like you, boy0boy. Just started college tuesday and there are alot of cute guys. And many wandering eyes I've noticed. Hopefully soon you and I can both make something about our situations.
 
You and your friend should return to the same Starbucks.
You're just a beginner so it's understandable that you don't want to come accross as obnoxiously aggressive, but you can't be too reticent either.
Just be friendly and natural and let things find their own level.
You don't want your life full of regrets for missed opportunities.
 
I hope he calls, but I know I probably wouldn't call if I received the number through someone else in the way he did. I wouldn't know if the guy really wanted me to call or if it was the friend who really wanted me to call the guy. I wouldn't want to call and make a fool of myself if it was all the doing of your friend (I made that mistake once).

You should definitely go back to Starbucks and give him your number yourself. His smile was a good indication that he had some interest, but he really needs to know from you that you have interest. You need to put yourself out there and take some risks to get the rewards. Good luck!
 
wow all good ideas and thoughts, thanks a bunch.

well i thought of the same thing actually afterwards and my friend also told me, yeah he might be wary to call because it wasn't actually me who gave him the number and actually i kinda ran out the store right before haha....

its just wierd i guess because of the type of person i am. its like, i am a great talker and have no problems conversing but it's extremely hard for me to make the first move, not even dating even socially. as soon as someone starts a conversation then i become active and involved but i usually keep quiet if not.

another thing is that it seems like i would have a hard time meeting "my type" just because i want a guy that is nice, idk probably just inexperience talking but WHERE on earth do you find a nice guy? clubs are full of horny guys... hmm well it seems like it, i've seen some guys who appear to be nice at the club...
 
:wave: haha thanks


yet another aspect i hadn't mentioned or been brought up, yeah why can't i just wait for someone to hit on me, i give signals and such!
 
having been on the offense for quite a while, I got kind of bored with it, so im waiting for some guy to hit me up for some conversation. Reckon no biters yet, Im sure he will find me when I least expect it.
 
Borrowed and adapted from Wayne Gretzky:

We don't make every shot we take, but we miss 100% of the shots we don't take.
 
>>>why can't i just wait for someone to hit on me

Because most guys are like you. Most guys either are too shy, or too preoccupied with other things to make a move.

It's like a high school dance. Not one in the movies, but one in real life, where everyone is standing on the side of the dance floor waiting for someone else to make the first move. And the music keeps playing...and nobody's dancing...

Think about it. If you really want to dance with somebody, what's the best way to go about it? Wait to be asked? Or go out and ask somebody else? :) Will you get turned down sometimes? Almost certainly. But you'll also get a lot more dancing.

Lex
 
boy0boy said:
why can't i just wait for someone to hit on me, i give signals and such!
Click to expand...

Because too many of the type of guys you want are like you. If both of you remain too shy to make the first move, nothing will ever happen. You limit your chances if you are not willing to make the first move.
 
boy0boy said:
yet another aspect i hadn't mentioned or been brought up, yeah why can't i just wait for someone to hit on me, i give signals and such!
Click to expand...

I know what you mean, I always used to think like that, but there are plenty of guys that are the same, which means everyone is waiting for someone to make a move and no one does!

I think its the fear of rejection or homophobia that sets me back....

Allthough I guess if you are staring at or checking out a guy, you can always just say you were daydreaming...

Good luck! ;)
 
Sorry, but for the most part the guys aren't going to come to you unless you put in some effort. If you're not going to approach guys, you need to learn to play the other side of that game where you entice them with flirty smiles and other gestures of interest. That's still no guarantee though, so I'd work on getting better at approaching other guys.

It's all about finding an opening. In the story above, the opening that immediately came to mind was his keychain. You could have said something like "I really like your keychain. I've seen those before but not been able to find one. Where did you get it?" It doesn't even matter if you like the keychain. It's an opening based on something you noticed about him. Moreover, because it's rainbow it has the added effect of tying the gay angle in too.

At some point, everybody learns (or needs to) that life is what you make of it. Rarely do things just fall into your lap. They may not turn out the way you intended and certain things cannot simply be made to happen (like finding Mr. Right). However, spending effort in the right way to make yourself into the person you want to be has a way of paying off eventually.
 
All very good thoughts.

I guess as much as I deny it. The basic problem, probably for not me but most of us is what electrostar said

>its the fear of rejection or homophobia

most likely my whole response of "you cant just hit on anyone because they might be straight" was just a defense so that I could hold myself back even more. And even after that was tossed out the door with the keychain, I let myself get to me.

Yeah I also thought the keychain was my foot in the door for conversation but eh.

Fact is I am getting better at openly giving signals that I'm interested in people. I actually give looks when before I would only glance.


PS. he didn't call :D
 
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