The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

[J. Smithson 02]

What ever happened to marvtha?

I don't know what happened to her. She is probably glad she didn't have the misfortune of running across J. Smithson 02.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

It would be healthy for you if you addressed your unresolved milk issues.

I am bad to the bones, I guzzle down the 1 percent milk and think "lactose intolerance be damned".

 

[J. Smithson 02]

That Charlie Hunnman is a hottie. I just started watching "The Sons Of Anarchy". It airs on the Superchannel Movie Channel here in Canada. I started watching mid way through this last season. I may have to get get Netflix someday to get caught up on the show. The man has a nice butt. He was on the English Queer As Folk years ago. You wouldn't believe it is the same guy, quite a difference in looks and character portrayal.

Sorry for straying off topic. I am running out of humorous things to write. He is a hottie though. I especially liked the episode where Walton Goggins from Justified came on playing a transsexual person.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I did have a bit of a worry awhile back. Someone said I have a certain "Genesechois". This caused a bit of anxiety as I worried that there might be a picture of my "Genesechois" somewhere and I could end up in a scandal. That "Genesechois" causes a lot of trepedation; it is two sizes too small and sometimes I lose track of it. Last week I went out and I had left it in my other pants. A man should always have a tight reign on his "Genesechois". Oh the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02. This thread has turned into J. Smithson 02 The Mini-Series. It isn't anywhere as funny as Carol Burnett's Fresno. You might be dating yourself if you remember that funny spoof of the mini-series and primetime soap opera.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Indeed, he's a hoot.

Thanks but I have exhausted my entire repetoir of humor. I doubt you all want to here me bitching about my Stories, the Soap Operas that I watch. I am empty, I am spent, now the short walk back to mediocrity.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

That's exactly what we want to hear about, could you tell us a bit more about this other forum atkoler, can't say i've ever heard of it.

Well it was the Atkol Forum. It hurts to refer to in the past tense, but I just did a Google search for "Atkol" and its footprint on the Internet or Google is shrinking. Each day that passes the links to the various subforums are disappearing.

The most popular forum was "General Discussion". We would gather there and launch various topics. There were long running threads there such as the one I founded about "Daytime Soaps" but for the most part it was just me bitching about some storyline that irritated me. Other posters would chime in on occasion. Rylons who is a terrific researcher and fellow Canadian would often post to the various threads with what he had gleaned of interest from searching the internet. We had vchip who like so many posters is a real gem of a person. Maybe someone here remembers Vincent Chip's Houseguests. He used to capture nude scenes from movies featuring the hunky men of mainstream cinema and TV. His collages are excellent, they captured the essence of the scene and he had a bit of an artist's eye.

So many great posters. We would on occasion and in the earlier days we talked quite a bit about gay porn and even straight porn. I know straight porn sounds yucky to some, but you would be surprised how many closeted men watched straight porn and lusted after some of the straight male porn stars. There was this rich knowledge base focused on porn but it rather waned as the years rolled by. Of course Atkol had it all archived and it was a treasure trove of information. If Atkol is truly dead and all that has been lost, it will be a very sad thing.

We had posters who passed away, but made an impact at the forum and we missed them not being around anymore. TimidJim was one of the posters who endeared himself to many at Atkol. He was a friendly man, who contributed so much to the forum with his posts. His health had been on the decline for years, I believe Diabitis was one of his afflictions. One of his real life friends informed us one day that he had passed away.

dkeith was the man who had a passion for Game Of Thrones and his thread which was spoiler free was excellent. He was so inciteful and enthusiastic in his observations about the show. He wasn't the only poster to the thread but he became our expert, our fount of knowledge. He restrained himself as he read the books and he was ever so careful not to spoil things for us.

laofalang I gather had a bit of infamy in her earlier days at Atkol. But I found him to be quite mellow. He had a thread about the treatment of his Melanoma. He was fortunate that finally the Doctors had tracked down some medication that has put it in remission. Whatever faults he may have had at one time, I found him to be a positive influence during the waning days at Atkol. It was nice to read about his health improving.

Then there is esckey, the bane of my existance this written with great affection. We would have our bitching back and forth, but we traded the barbs with love.

That is just part of the rich tapestry that was Atkol. I hope it hasn't not been lost for all time.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I had a dear friend that passed away in November of 2012. I got him laughing in the Hospital. I said "You are a great friend", "You put my name down to compete in the Demolition Derby", "You said, you and your bicycle your in it to win it". We laughed up a storm over that zinger. I was blessed to have his friendship and it was a blessing to have got to know him.

I suppose in this life we all have those "I Think I Got My Butt Kicked On A Slow Train To Georgia" moments. I don't know where the Americans come up with these sayings, but they are catchy. Though I could be confused that might be a line from an old Willie Nelson song.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Sounds like a wonderful place, hopefully it's still out there somewhere.

Thank you for that. I am glad I was able to convey what a great place it was. That being said, I am so very grateful for how kind everyone has been to me here at JUB and I have had some fun today. Maybe some of my old pals will find me here at JUB and I think I am on my way to making new friends.

 

[Alnitak]

April 2009, that's about the time I started posting.

 

[rareboy]

April 2009, that's about the time I started posting.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It was a good year to start and we're glad that you did.

Hopefully Smithson won't be shy.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

It was a good year to start and we're glad that you did.

Hopefully Smithson won't be shy.

Don't worry I am as much a blabberpuss maybe even more so in written form that I am when I talk. My Mom has a solution duct tape and a baseball bat.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Ha, i love your sense of humour, reminds me so much of Bessler, he'd have loved you.

Thanks; I am curious about Bessler. I will have to do some research.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I can't get into any specifics at this juncture but I have reason to believe that Atkol will be back at some point. This has put a smile on my face and I slept so much better after I got the news last night.

I think I may have to join the Jason Stratham Fan Club. Since I live with my Mom and sister I thought I should get in touch with my femine side and try to get a grasp on how women think. This is underscored by the fact that either one of those gals could kick my butt. So I hunkered down and watch a marathon of chick flicks. I have a delicate constitution and by the time I got to the end of "Steel Magnolias", my manboobs were lactating in empathy. I booked a vagasil, but out of desperation I took a chance and put in a Jason Stratham movie and my machizmo was back to its regular levels and I cancelled the vagasil. If you can believe I had such a pep in my step that I had to resist the temptation to put on my butt kicking slippers and go on the prowl for villains to practice my Tic Tack Toe skills on. Tic Tack Toe is a form of martial arts in case you didn't know. Thanks Jason Stratham, to think I was just half and hour away from the dreaded vagasil. Oh the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02. Maybe I should lobby for them to put warning labels on chick flicks for men like me.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Classic, you crack me up. i sure hope we ain't gonna be losing you ?

I am going to stick around here at JUB as well. I think I am on my way to making some new friends.

 

[palbert]

I am going to stick around here at JUB as well. I think I am on my way to making some new friends.

Good to hear.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

The only thing is I ran out of humorous things to write about. I might end up resorting to writing down the events from my boring life and trust me that can put people to sleep faster than any sleeping pill on the market.

I have often thought I should launch an Anti-Sex Phone Line for nymphomaniacs, sex addicts, politicians and anyone tempted to cheat on their significant other. I could record a five hour recording where I blabb about Aunt Betty's hemoroid operation. Let's just say after a minute of listening to me drone on there is going to be major shrinkage of the penis, five minutes might make it retreat inside the person's own body, leaving them in a fetal position and requiring them to have shock treatments.

Does anyone else use telemarketers as free therapists? I never let them actually get around to selling the product, I launch into chapter 1 of J. Smithson 02's life history. It doesn't take long before they are offering me money to shut up. I have to be careful, my babbling on could be declared against the Geneva Convention. Telemarketers are human beings too.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I remember in Grade 7 or 8, I was day dreaming in health class and the teacher asked me, "Where's vagina?", and I must of been confused as I snapped out of my revier. I said "It's in Saskatchewan". It took a long time to live that one down.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I remember in Grade 7 or 8, I was day dreaming in health class and the teacher asked me, "Where's vagina?", and I must of been confused as I snapped out of my revier. I said "It's in Saskatchewan". It took a long time to live that one down.

"I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque"

 

[Essex Boy]

Let's just say after a minute of listening to me drone on there is going to be major shrinkage of the penis, five minutes might make it retreat inside the person's own body, leaving them in a fetal position and requiring them to have shock treatments.

Fun fact: this is a real fear in some parts of the world. It's called "koro".
www.io9.com/5944722

- - - Updated - - -

 

[dpnice]

Fun fact: this is a real fear in some parts of the world. It's called "koro".
www.io9.com/5944722

- - - Updated - - -

"So nobody gets it until they've heard about it? io9 just killed us all."