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The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

Oh this big blabbermouth of mine. If gay men avoid Saskatchewan in the fear of landing in vagina, I will have that Province's real estate board on my case. For all I know Elton John and hubby may of had plans to build a cottage there and word of vagina may have nixed the deal.

Then this fear of a disappearing penis, that I have inadvertingly inspired Essex Boy to discover. I sure hope that doesn't spread like the flue or we will be crotch deep in misery.
 
With age one learns to accept the march of time, and koro syndrome is part of that march. I have at times had to report my genitals to missing persons. Once, in a store, I prevailed and got an Amber Alert. My genitals were found in the Family Planning aisle.
 
palbert said:
With age one learns to accept the march of time, and koro syndrome is part of that march. I have at times had to report my genitals to missing persons. Once, in a store, I prevailed and got an Amber Alert.
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That was funny. Self-depricating humor is the best humor there is. On a more serious note when it comes to the penis. I have a fear of kidney stones. My father before he died had what is termed kidney gravel stones and he was given some medication to pass them. I think they gave him some pain medication but it wasn't enough, because he was in absolute misery.

I think if I ever get diagnosed with them I will give them instructions to drop a ten megaton bomb on the suckers to eliminate them, but that might seriously damage the rest of me. They better medicate me to the wazzoo and back.
 
I ran out of funny stuff to write. I thought I should give more insight into what makes me tick. My favorite show is "The Republic Of Doyle". I like it so much that I would throw The Game Of Thrones under the bus, if I had to chose one over the other. The show starts and I am in the Doyle Zone. It airs here in Canada and I am hopeful it will return for a sixth season. CBC cancelled a slew of shows last month and I am hoping ROD is going to avoid that fate for a couple more years. I like the show so much I would watch the guy solve cases when he is 90 years old aided by a mobility scooter. I finally memorized the theme song. I find it so catchy. Here is a YouTube clip of the theme song:


I don't know how I ever memorized the theme song, but somehow I did. I should hate Alan Hawco because he probably had only one percent body fat. I don't whether I could ever get that toned.
 
I was thinking of that recent thread about nipples. Alan Hawco possess nipples. I read that they air "The Republic Of Doyle" in the U.K. If you haven't checked the show out, warning this little clip has male nudity. Maybe someone here at JUB who lives in the U.K, will decide to watch the show. I caught Leslie Bennet the lady cop taking a look at Jake's butt. I can't blame her, just saying she took a look. Don't watch the clip if you are offended by a handsome man with a well toned body. I imagine YouTube will yank it down someday and I didn't post it there. I just ran across it. I hope it doesn't break any rules here at JUB. Here is the clip:


I lost track of how many times I have paused that video at a certain spot.
 
He does have a cute butt. I was hoping for frontal though.

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I just love that show. It has just the right amount of humor mixed in with the action and suspense. I really hope it continues for many years to come. CBC needs to get this show released on Blu Ray. I know I certainly would enjoy watching Jake Doyle in high definition.
 
borg69unimatrix said:
He does have a cute butt. I was hoping for frontal though.

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Yes I agree about his butt. A frontal is pretty rare when it comes to North American television. I am certainly appreciative that Alan Hawco had this scene in the show. But even without the nude scene I am hopelessly hooked on the show. My Mom is hooked on the show as well and I get a bit of a laugh because she yells at the TV when Leslie Bennet and Jake Doyle have a romantic scene. She says "Get your hands off him you hussy". If I wasn't in the closet I would join in on that comment.
 
You may remember reading earlier in this thread about sudden realization that my butt has a crack in it. I was looking around the house and discovered a tube of caulking. It said that it seals cracks. So I put in a generous amount. But the strange thing is now I am feeling awful bloated. Oh, the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02. You know maybe I am not the only one in the world who had a crack in their butt, maybe there was a support group, maybe I didn't half to remedy the situation in this way.
 
It looks like sealing the butt crack was a bad idea. I am expanding and spreading all over the place. I may soon need my own zip code. The things one does to fit in. I should of been satisfied with my unique situation. If I expand into a neighborhood near you, remember I can be placated with triple cheese pizza and butterscotch ice cream. Along with the bloated feeling I am feeling a tad biotchy.
 
borg69unimatrix said:
psst... hate to tell ya this Sparky... but it's got a hole in it too! ;)

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Please don't add to my worries. I have learned my lesson I ain't gonna have any more of my exit holes plugged.

If I am truly full of sh*t now, there is only one remedy a career in politics. I think I could become a Republican front runner with these qualifications.
 
To become a politician do they accept individuals who can stretch the truth until it loses all credibility? Do they accept people that are a little out of touch with commonplace reality? As long as I don't have to abandon my pajamas and my ratty old bathrobe, I will have to give this some serious thoughts. I will have to invest in some abestos lined undies as my buns get overheated if I think too much. It is bad enough I smell of mothballs, scorch marks on the undies I have to get away from that, that could sink my political ambitions before I even get started. Maybe I should become a master of this new fangled social media. Maybe it is time for J. Smithson 02 to embrace the 20th Century.
 
They were talking one day on "The View" about periods. Yet another way to signal out the uniqueness of J. Smithson 02. Here I am a man who will soon me in his mid forties, and I can't recall ever having a period at any point in my life. I feel like a unicorn. So I ask my fellow men what have I been missing? I feel so deprived. You all get to have this monthly visitor and I am left lonely. Some people get to have all the fun. Guys I think I need a cyber group hug, I am starting to get a complexion. Maybe I should consult a Gieco Cologist, they do double duty advice on issues like this and sell car insurance. I am a bit anxious about letting that computer generated lizard near my genesecouis though. Oh the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02.
 
Your posts bring a smile to my lips and a laugh from my mouth each and every time. Thanks..........:D
 
Maybe I should start a fitness regime. Find a way to transform the manboobs into spectacular pecs. Trade the pizza belly in for washboard abs. Then there is my big fat butt. There was a legal question about my big fat butt. You see I didn't see my big fat butt coming; it just snuck up behind me. Well I thought that meant plausible deniability; but then I am reminded that posession is nine tenths of the law. There is probably an exercise to make my butt more upwardly mobile.

So I may buy Sweatin' To The Oldies, hunker down in the lazy boy chair with pizza on hand and butterscotch ice cream and watch the people exercise, that should mean the pounds should just melt away. I am a man with a plan.
 
Watching the exercise tape while pigging out, sitting in the lazy boy chair is not working; I have gained a pound or two since starting.
 
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