The Strange Condition Of J. Smithson 02

[rareboy]

I suggest getting one of those vibra-massager recliners.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Same here. it's brill to have someone with a fabulous sense of humour posting.

Thank you; I will keep trying to come up more stuff to make you and the other thread posters and readers laugh.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Pushing the recliner back when you sit and pulling it forward when you arise will burn up that fat.

I suggest getting one of those vibra-massager recliners.

Thanks for the advice guys; I will keep that it mind. I borrowed my sister's cellphone once. I left it on vibrator mode and put it in my hip pocket. They should add more warnings on those things. A call came in on the phone and I nearly had an organism.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I just had a visit to the Geico-cologists. I had some strange sounds coming from my pizza belly. It was a precautionary visit. I watched that demon baby YouTube video advertizing that new movie. Well anyway even though I am male, soon to be middle aged, and practically a virgin I just had to rule out the possibility. Just about the only way I could be pregnant is if I got sucked up to a mothership and illegal aliens from outspace decided to probe me and implant me. I don't have any memories of any such event, but they could of zapped my brain so I don't remember that happening.

There I was at the Gieco Cologist's office with the gown on and my legs in the stirrups. The Doctor was quite the salesman, I don't even own a vehicle or could drive one any way, but I am signed up for a year's automobile insurance. Well anyway he lifted the gown, and he reeled in shock, became cross eyed and his boss has sent him home for six months mandatory bed rest. But we now know for certain it was just gas and J. Smithson 02 is not in the process of multiplying. Unfortunately that gas let itself be known at the Gieco Cologist Office, why oh why did I eat those pickles with the extra garlic? Windows had to be opened, but it worked out to their benefit, they had ordered new wallpaper, and thanks to my little outburst the old wallpaper came peeling off the walls.

Oh the trials and tribulations of J. Smithson 02. I have been assured that they expect a full recovery for the Gieco Cologists, they say within twenty fours hours his eyes went back to their original state. The facial tick and shakes are expected to be gone in three months and the additional three months is for the psychological trauma.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

Everyone has a different constitutionality. I am finding that when I am constipated that I tend to lean toward the right wing of the political spectrum. Now that I have incorporated oat bran into my diet and I am regular, I am galloping to the left wing of the political spectrum. If I had a colonic I might become a peace loving hippy dippy flower power socialist.

Now that we are immersed into the 20th Century, one hears new phrases in the language. It is so easy to get confused. If one has a big butt, one has as they say "my junk is in my trunk". I suppose if one is sexually active and doesn't have very good hiegincals that one could have spunk and gunk in one's trunk. One does try to keep up with the lingo of the day. I have always said that one should get a firm grip on one's vanaculars. Not too firm a grip or one might end up going stirile.

What one watches can have an effect one's behavior. They say that Sadam Hussein's favorite movie during his formative years was "The Godfather". Now if he would have liked "The Sound Of Music" instead; he may have never took on the role of a dictator, but he could have been alive today trapsing the Alps wearing his laderhosen singing some catchy little ditty from that musical. Well I suppose it is just conjecturological or just a hypothereticalogical proposition, but he may of had a better fate. Well that was just some radom musilix that was rambling around in my brain and I just had to write it down.

 

[redfox70]

This thread has me

 

[J. Smithson 02]

This thread has me

I am glad that you are getting a laugh out of my posts.

 

[backagain]

I am glad that you are getting a laugh out of my posts.

*Shoves a Jaffa Cake between his cheeks*

 

[palbert]

Well, so much for these guys.

 

[cgymike]

How is OJ Simpson doing?

I hope he is well.

 

[rareboy]

Well, so much for these guys.

It is the problem when they peak too soon. Or put down the bong.

 

[cgymike]

^I have heard you orgasm in like a minute....

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I am still around. I just ran out of funny material.

 

[J. Smithson 02]

I remain a virgin. I think I must join the twentieth century. All these enhancements one can get these days. When it comes to the crotch area I think I can get GPS installed. Sometimes I think little J. Smithson 02 goes hitch hiking when I am fast asleep. Just the other day I gave him a talking to; he looked so deflated a mere shadow of his perky self. One could say he looked like he had been ridden hard and put away wet. I told him cheer up one can get extensions these days and one can have a WIFI hotspot installed to keep up with what is going on. I was a little too convincing; now he wants to join Starfleet and explore the universe and he will probably drag the rest of me along. Maybe I could find some new and better jokes out in the cosmos.

 

[rareboy]

Welcome Back.

Been too fucking long.

 

[Thad1527]

And it's no longer the twentieth century. But I envy your longevity.

 

[Vannie]

A cabbage a day keeps the Doctor away.