On Topic Discussion The suicide cycle on JUB

[ibill1]

My thoughts on suicide were actually pushed on me by others. I have never been a depressed individual. When my Steve passed away suddenly, my brothers and a friend moved in for 2 weeks because they thought I would do myself in after losing him after all those years. They knew how much in love we were and assumed I could not carry on without him. To some extent, it was true.

It was never a depressed type of thought but a pleasant one as people would say we will be together again in the afterlife. These were thoughts I never had before and they didn't last long and were never serious. I never discussed this with anyone at the time. I do believe if there was absolute proof that there was an afterlife and I could be with him again I wouldn't be here today.

I believe these type of feelings from an older guy are quite different from young guys who contemplate suicide because something is going terribly wrong in their lives. I don't think guys my age would come to a forum for advice and help like a guy in his teens or 20's would. We would either do it or seek professional help. I suspect we might see an increase in such posts as the holidays approach.

 

[Kulindahr]

Sorry, I do not catalog things in that way. (Seems kind of maudlin.)

Having myself been on a suicide watch I defer to those more professional in this area and move myself forward.

Having been on both sides of this issue, I can say with certainty that for a fair number of suicidal people, being told to go to a professional is the same as being told to "fuck off and die". For me at one point, hearing that said meant "you're such shit the only way anyone will listen to you is if you pay them".

It's not common that I run into it, but yes, telling a severely depressed person to "look on the bright side" is akin to telling a guy with two broken legs to "walk it off".

Lex

Make that two broken, bleeding legs. Too many people think that depression is just feeling bummed, but there's no comparison; it's not just a difference in degree, but in kind. As someone who suffers from bipolar disorder, I know the difference between being bummed and being depressed, and really unless you've suffered actual depression you can't understand.

So....

Only second to: "I know how you feel".

Some of us of course, having been there, do "know how you feel" -- but even so, saying that is just a spit in the face. I've helped some people back from the edge by letting them see that I do know how they feel, but I let them figure tat out by asking questions that serve to let them know how far down I've been (like, being certain that if I removed myself from existence, aliens on worlds billions of light years away would suddenly look around with the awareness that the universe had just become a better place). In short, if they come to realize that I know how they feel, there's a connection, but if I just tell them I know, it's counterproductive.

 

[Kulindahr]

I have to say I don't remember ever seeing a suicide thread here at JUB. I might block them out though...It is maybe the most difficult subject for me to address. In all the years I have spent on the Internet...the one time I addressed someone who was thinking about suicide was the single hardest post I have ever made.

Just knowing that there are people like you here, who go to that effort despite the difficulty, will be helpful to many. I remember one serious plunge into the dark end of bipolar when I heard of some guys at college suffering through trying to help a friend, and it was enough to stabilize me -- because of the thought that though none might be my friends at the time, there are people out there who will go through agony to help.

 

[medic1]

Just knowing that there are people like you here, who go to that effort despite the difficulty, will be helpful to many. I remember one serious plunge into the dark end of bipolar when I heard of some guys at college suffering through trying to help a friend, and it was enough to stabilize me -- because of the thought that though none might be my friends at the time, there are people out there who will go through agony to help.

Well said sir.