Bi Married Male
JUB Addicts
[h=2]The Types of Gay Guys There Are[/h]
Which One Were You Before You Came Out & Which One Do You Relate To Now?
- THE DL HOMOPHOBE – He can spot any gay guy anywhere at anytime. He always has something negative to say to or about the gay guy, but in reality he just wants the gay boy’s attention. Homophobes are usually attracted to masculine gay men as the feminine ones will blow their cover. Also Statistics show that the HOMOPHOBES are the messiest of them all.
- THE AVERAGE STR8 GUY - This is the most difficult type to detect. He’s the typical straight guy, he loves sports, he adores cars, he can fix almost everything….nothing out of the ordinary till u walk in on him doing something with a dude. We call these men TRADES. You had no clue they were gay…and chances are they can teach the OPENLY gay guys a few tricks.
- The SUPER DL NINJA – This is the guy who is TERRIFIED of people having the slightest clue he is gay. He will surf gay chatlines and send people to a dozen different websites until he finally reveals himself. The kind of guy that meets you on the docks at night…you sleep with him… and if you see him in public again he will DENY your existence.
- THE DL COUPLE – Now this is the most prevalent type of gay guys on campus. Two guys that always hang out together, they maybe work out buddies, members of the same fraternity, same sports team or school organization….Chances are if you see one the other is close behind and if you see one alone…….he’s on his way to the other. THEY ARE A COUPLE. No straight guy will spent 90% of his day with another guy unless they are in Iraq and that’s a whole nother story child.
- MR DON’T ASK DON’T TELL – IF YOU AINT ASKING HE AINT TELLIN…SHIT EVEN IF YOU ASK HE AINT TELLIN. This is the guy in class you always suspected but never had any concrete proof to nail him. Unfortunately for you that you can’t nail him….but every other dude on campus is…….OKAAAAAAAY!!!
- THE AVERAGE GAY GUY – He is professional, a great friend, a honor student, your RA, that guy that’s in the ROTC. He is awesome everyone on campus knows him all the girls have a crush on him…..you invite him out one night and he comes with a dude he introduces as his BOYFRIEND………..yes your honor student is in a relationship with a man and as popular as he is he managed to keep his personal life out of the spotlight. This is what most gay people should aspire to be like.
- The I-Swear-I’m-Not-Gay Gay. We all know this gay. He has a “girlfriend” and they watch Glee together and go shopping together and the only difference is he doesn’t refer to her as his fag-hag. I mean, we all know exactly what she is and what purpose she serves, but in every possible situation, he refuses to succumb to his body’s natural desires and admit that he just wants to sit on a veiny, triumphant one. He’ll probably drunkenly “admit” to you some night that he’s wondered before what it would be like to get a blowie from a dude – that’s your cue either to make a move or run the fuck away (I suggest the latter, but who knows, maybe you’re into guys that will make every sober situation from that point forward extreeeemely awkward).
- THE PRETTY BOI – This is the guy that looks better than 50% of the girls on campus. He wears designer clothes, has a body to die for..usually light skinned or Hispanic, hair you wish you had has the accessories of a typical pretty boi (contacts, earrings, photoshopped). You can find them prancing around your local mall or around town. Thye are usually conceited and not very nice.
- THE TRENDSETTER – They are the social mecca of fashion and social rituals. They start the latest trends, know the latest songs and the matching dances, knows your business before you do, and pretty much puts you out there. Only down side is that they are either fat, darker than sin and 9/10 BUTT UGLY.
- The Gym Gay. Sometimes confused with the aforementioned gay, this gay can be annoying simply because he seems hell-bent on being exactly like every horrible jock that tortured him mercilessly throughout high school. He works out at the gym all the time and shamelessly advertises that fact on his Facebook and Manhunt accounts. He owns six too many sleeveless t-shirts and is convinced everyone wants to S his D. I hate him because usually everyone does want to S his D.
- THE OBNOXIOUS QUEEN - He greets you with a HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GIIIIIRRRL!!! He refers to people as MISS THANG, he is the loudest motherfucker you have ever met, flirts with anything that breathes and is a club addict. Ladies and Gentlemen…this is THE POSTERCHILD FOR GAY. You can spot him on the map, his sexuality is as big as Texas and he doesn’t care who knows. Infact he wants you to know so he can have you next… RUN CHILD RUN…..
- The Artsy Gay. I can appreciate a quality artsy gay because he’s usually good to have around to boost your cool-cred. He listens to good music, drinks good alcohol, and has not only heard of but also often reads literary greats like Stoppard and Vonnegut. This gay can be a pain, however, as he makes clear the superiority complex that other gays try so hard to pretend we don’t have. He also might drink PBR, and I’m judging him for it. (As a side note, I used to fancy myself artistic but really I just went to a private boarding school in New England where anyone who wasn’t wearing Lily Pulitzer was considered bohemian. Le sigh.)
- Gay Bears Body Type: Large, hairy, often with facial hair Description: The bigger, generally older subset of the population is new but increasingly popular both in the community and pop culture. They have their own social calendar that is well populated with events to support the flannel-clad butch lifestyle of beards and beer guts.
Which One Were You Before You Came Out & Which One Do You Relate To Now?
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