the whore phase

[Tony82]

No. I've never been through the whore phase. Nor do I plan on doing that. It's a question of values. I have control over my dick, it doesn't have control over me. I'm not an ugly guy, and it floors people when I tell them that I'm still a virgin. I've never been one to follow the crowd, so I always end up doing my own thing. To me, random sex is just getting someone else to "get you off." Quite frankly, I can get myself off without anyone else's help. BUT, when I do have sex, it will be with the man with whom I'm in love.

And to answer your other question. No. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I've been out for almost a year, and despite not having sex, I've still developed quite well. My values are at the heart of who I am. I will not compromise who I am, to simply satisfy a curiosity. I refuse to turn sex into something trivial like smoking a cigarette, or eating a piece of chocolate cake. I would like it to mean something....like working for a year to save up for a trip to Africa.

These are my values. I don't judge other people based on my values, because they are my own values...no one elses. Just as you wouldn't use your knowledge of health sciences as a barometre to measure the intelligence of other people, I wouldn't use my value-system to judge anyone either.

And tallguy, I don't really think the whoring stage has anything to do with what's easier at the time or even what's available. I think it really has to do with the excitement of being free. When Sadam's regime was toppled, there was bedlum in the streets. Likewise when there was the French Revolution (all those heads rolling...), American Revolution (tar and feathering), etc... When you feel free, you feel as though you can do anything...so you push your limits and try EVERYTHING. And you'll do things that the "old you" wouldn't necessarily have ever done.

This was all really well said. I agree 100%. You are a 28 year old virgin...may I ask?

 

[jockboy01]

woah, this is an old thread.... haha. Just fyi, you might have to PM Halubtsi as he is rather busy in offline life at the moment and I'm not sure how often he checks.

 

[JackFTwist]

Did you go through the whore phase? If so, was it a good thing, bad thing, neither? If not, do you feel like you missed out on anything, would you do it differently?

It seems to me that a lot of guys who thought they were straight who get in touch with being gay at an older age do the whore phase, it is like a second puberty, now with boys. I know I did, and so did some of my friends.

Not proud of it, and damned lucky I missed AIDS, and I don't recommend it. But would I do it over again? One part of me says you can't live life again, so what was, was. Part of me says, what a fucking whore you were and is not proud. Part of me says, hell, if I could do that again, I'd do it bigger and better. Depends on my mood and the time of day and how responsible I feel at the moment.

But really it was what it was and other than getting through without AIDS or any STD and learning yes they really do that in bathhouses and a few other things I learned, can't change it, and no use regretting what cannot be changed. And I wish I had some pictures and could rermember everyone's name, although I never knew everyone's name at the time so that's impossible.

Sometimes sex is just sex and nothing to get all out of shape about.

 

[hermanding]

'whore' fase - is that the one who accepts money? i've had a fair number of one-time experiences - when even the name wasn't important. i didn't think of them as moral issues - whether i had sex or not with a stranger had nothing to do with my not stealing, my supporting my friends, being there, etc. most of them were fun, and some were disappointing. i could have jacked off but decided to accept some invitations and to extend others. i don't regret them at all
ding

 

[JackFTwist]

i didn't think of them as moral issues -

agreed, it is not a moral issue

 

[thewizard]

I don't think I could have a whore phase.. I'm too afraid of STD's... I'd rather find one guy and act like a whore in the bedroom with him lol

Having lots of sex (both with girls and guys) is fine, but you have to have some common sense, and respect for yourself.. One thing I realized is that gay guys can get the "slut" stigma just like women can..

It's kinda weird to be on the other side of the coin lol

of course what do I know. I haven't gone all the way with anyone (well with a guy lol) Though i've had plenty of offers.. None of them seemed "safe" really..

 

[luminum]

I don't think I could have a whore phase.. I'm too afraid of STD's... I'd rather find one guy and act like a whore in the bedroom with him lol

Having lots of sex (both with girls and guys) is fine, but you have to have some common sense, and respect for yourself.. One thing I realized is that gay guys can get the "slut" stigma just like women can..

It's kinda weird to be on the other side of the coin lol

of course what do I know. I haven't gone all the way with anyone (well with a guy lol) Though i've had plenty of offers.. None of them seemed "safe" really..

That's sort of the way I am too. I just think my greater interest in sex is the whore phase, not necessarily sleeping with tons of guys. I'm not opposed ot hooking up, so long as I practice safe sex with my sexual partner, but ideally, I just want one guy I love and we can rock the bedroom 24/7.

 

[drhladnjak]

Look, nobody should do anything they're not comfortable doing. However, you shouldn't let a fear of STDs paralyze you from having sex.

 

[onetimething]

I haven't read this entire thread but just thought I'd chime in on the general topic.

I'm currently sort of winding down from my own whore phase. Since the time when I engaged in my first hook-up with another guy some 2.5 years ago, I have hooked up with around 25 different men, and around 10 of these men I have hooked up with more than once. It's always been safe, and I've only actually had anal sex with two of them, and some of these hook-ups consisted of nothing more than clothed groping and making out. I suppose it's subjective in that to some people, hooking up with 25 men in 30 months may seem incredibly slutty while to others, not so much, at least not compared to many people or enough to really call it a whore phase. Whatever the case may be, for me personally, it's a number far higher than I ever thought I'd get when I first started experimenting with guys. I'm bi and I guess just wasn't used to how relatively easy it is to put notches up on your belt with men as opposed to women, and sort of let my excitement and hormones get the best of me, especially when I first started fooling around. I remember when I hit double digits, just taking a step back and being sort of shocked with myself. When I started fooling around, I was thinking this was just going to be a bit of experimentation, a one or two time thing, but that became harder to convince myself of as that number climbed. Then I hit 20 and again was shocked. I hadn't been keeping track and then decided one day to just mentally take note and was shocked with the number I came up with, and also shocked that i had a difficult time remembering some names, locations, dates and situations, considering with women, just the paucity of action meant it was easy to remember all of the above. I guess it's just hard to offer a blanket comparison between the two due to differing sex drives, social roles and expecations. I mean, a straight guy or girl having sex with one guy a month would definitely seem slutty.

Anyways, after a particularly slutty week at some point last year where I was sort of disgusted with myself after having fooled around with three guys in one week, I sort of consciously decided to rein it in a bit. I've gone from placing ads looking for sex or responding to those ads, to just relying on guys I've already met, and even then, meetings are more infrequent, and I'm just finding myself sort of "over" the whole hook-up scene. I feel like when I first started acting up, it was just this massive release of all this repressed sexuality, and wanting to experiment with all sorts of things, with men of different ages, colors, sizes, and shapes, and now, I've sort of quenched my thirst and am satisfied. In some ways, I think it is something that I needed to do, to just get it out of my system. I'm not saying that I'll never have a random hook-up with some guy again, but just that it's no longer my main goal or something I seek out with men, and I don't really as hard-up to get off and experiment as I once did.

 

[halubtsi]

Holy smokes, this topic is old. haha. But Tony82, yes I'm a 28 year old virgin. Jockboy, I love the taste of freedom. I may be on here more often, but since snow fell on Ottawa, I hear the siren song of skiing calling for me. I check in periodically.

 

[Kulindahr]

Hey, Halubtsi! Long time no see.

I recall you being there for me back when I was (arguably) in my whore phase -- thanks again!