There are weird people out there (hook ups)

[chrisdobro]

It seems to happen rarely but it does, maybe more often than I know.

one time there was a guy who made total plans with me to meet up, got my number, address, pics we talked on the phone, and then he just did not show up. I thought he got cold feet or something or whatever, but then I realized that he never had intention of meeting up with me at all.

How... A few month later he contacted me again. I don't know if he realized it was me, maybe not. But again, he made plans, asked for pics, this pic, that pic, one shirtless pic, talked to me on the phone (same phone number), and then he dropped off the earth again. He never had intention of meeting up.

Now on GrindR (iPhone hookup app), there is a guy who asked for face pic, genital pic, body pic, we made plans, he asked for address, he was 4 miles away. Things appeared to be a bit russhed and he was asking for lots of pics and not committing to a time. And guess what, he blocked me afterwards, which means neither him nor me could see each other or communicate anymore.

I had another account on the same phone, with another pictures that could not be identified as me, so I went on it. Surprisingly his profile said "no games, please be direct". Surprisingly he said "hii" first. I told him that playing games is not nice. He asked me what I meant. I said not following through is not nice. He replied with "?". And he blocked me.

I hope the message jarred him a bit, because I know that it will probably not get through to him. This strikes me as a behavior of a sociopath. The only way I could deliver a stronger message perhaps is come over his house and knock him out, but alas, that wouldn't help.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm sensing a pattern.

Lex

 

[chrisdobro]

ooh I got so mad I posted his GrindR photo on my extensive FB network with over 1000 friends.

Probably not the best thing to do. But when anger subsides, I will remove it.

Getting sex is ought to be made better.

This is one challenge I have not yet been able to address. But I am making progress, mostly in observation of behavior and experience so far. Some people cannot be trusted. There ought to be a registry of such people. But the way the world is, I'm sure it'd come with lots of legal and political problems, should there be an attempt to implement it.

 

[G-Lexington]

At the risk of repeating myself, I sense a pattern.

ooh I got so mad I posted his GrindR photo on my extensive FB network with over 1000 friends...Some people cannot be trusted. There ought to be a registry of such people. But the way the world is, I'm sure it'd come with lots of legal and political problems, should there be an attempt to implement it.

Lex

 

[chrisdobro]

Lex

it is great that you are sensing a pattern.

However, I recall that your posts were usually more insightful before, say a few years ago. Today I am not taking a guess at what you might be alluding to, because I can be wrong.

 

[jensu846]

i agree with you that some guys just like to play games. I cant count how many guys have flaked out at the last minute and using some serious lame excuses. I dont know if lying or just not showing up is worse, but it does make a person angry, so I understand where youre coming from.

 

[chrisdobro]

ok

well I don't know what to say to that.

I guess I don't know how to deal with online hookups.

I am a guy who is very much to the point. But I get tied up in all these games because I don't always see through them and I do not always catch myself going down the wrong path, until it is almost completed, at times. I don't misinterpret "maybe I will", although there were times where I had misinterpreted things like when I said "Let's meet up!", and the guy said "okay", to me it means "ok, let's meet up". It doesn't mean "no, let's not meet up I just said 'ok', cuz that's what I do or whatever".

But here I am complaining about something else...

let's say your mom sent you to the store to buy eggs. You say, sure mom!! And you cheerfully skip to the store. At the store you call your mom and ask her what kind of eggs she needs - white or brown. She tells you white. Okay. You want her to txt you a picture so you will buy the right kind. She does. She wants a picture of the actual eggs to see if you got it right. You send one to her. 10 minutes later mom calls you to aks you where you are. You tell her you are on your way back and are just around the corner with the eggs. Awesome, says mom! "We'll make a great omelet together", says mom. 30 min pass and mom calls you again to find out where you are and where the eggs are. You never bought the eggs, nor you had intention to buy the eggs. You were just playing with your mom this way. But now she is calling you and you have to do something. That's where you block your mom.


THAT type of behavior is one that is getting me a little riled up. Perhaps I need to step back and calm down and do something else.

 

[gsdx]

I had another account on the same phone, with another pictures that could not be identified as me, so I went on it. Surprisingly his profile said "no games, please be direct". Surprisingly he said "hii" first. I told him that playing games is not nice. He asked me what I meant. I said not following through is not nice. He replied with "?". And he blocked me.

I hope the message jarred him a bit, because I know that it will probably not get through to him. This strikes me as a behavior of a sociopath.

Perhaps he thought you were challenging his statement and, in effect, accusing him of doing what the other guys did to you before you even gave him a chance to see if he would do it to you as well. Perhaps he thought YOU were the sociopath and that's why he blocked you. His question mark message rather proves it. He was probably thinking, "What in hell did I do?"

I probably would have blocked you, too.

 

[gsdx]

Sorry. Double post.

 

[chrisdobro]

Umm are you reading my posts, gsdx?

I challenged his statement only after he blocked me first. Then he did not want to face what he did and blocked me again.

 

[cgymike]

Well that's what you get when you are in hookup mode. Had it happen too many times where you do all the things you mentioned (test msg, trade pics, phone, etc) and he doesn't show or sends lame texts after apologizing and giving some improbable excuse ("my cat died" or whatever). He probably didn't even have a cat. More than likely he was horny at the time but in the time it took him to do all the preparations to meet he found some juicy porn on line or a cam and jacked off. Then a few days later he got horny again (press rewind and play ...same old tape!). In any case, it had nothing to do with you.
My best advice is just consider it's all very trivial and don't occupy your brain with it in useless analyzing. I just laugh about such things and think "wow...what a pathetic person"...then I go find some porn/cams and jack off....ROFL.

As long as you are in hookup mode expect a hangup a lot of the time!

 

[altlover85]

I think cgymike and NA hit the nail on the head.

 

[RonR18]

It seems to happen rarely but it does, maybe more often than I know.

one time there was a guy who made total plans with me to meet up, got my number, address, pics we talked on the phone, and then he just did not show up. I thought he got cold feet or something or whatever, but then I realized that he never had intention of meeting up with me at all.

How... A few month later he contacted me again. I don't know if he realized it was me, maybe not. But again, he made plans, asked for pics, this pic, that pic, one shirtless pic, talked to me on the phone (same phone number), and then he dropped off the earth again. He never had intention of meeting up.

Now on GrindR (iPhone hookup app), there is a guy who asked for face pic, genital pic, body pic, we made plans, he asked for address, he was 4 miles away. Things appeared to be a bit russhed and he was asking for lots of pics and not committing to a time. And guess what, he blocked me afterwards, which means neither him nor me could see each other or communicate anymore.

I had another account on the same phone, with another pictures that could not be identified as me, so I went on it. Surprisingly his profile said "no games, please be direct". Surprisingly he said "hii" first. I told him that playing games is not nice. He asked me what I meant. I said not following through is not nice. He replied with "?". And he blocked me.

I hope the message jarred him a bit, because I know that it will probably not get through to him. This strikes me as a behavior of a sociopath. The only way I could deliver a stronger message perhaps is come over his house and knock him out, but alas, that wouldn't help.

Hook-up sites are no different than forums, in that there are trolls on them. And their "specialty" is stringing guys along with someone else's pic, making them think they're definitely going to show up. Butt they have every intention of standing them up, hoping they'll think they were "rejected."

Basically, they want to psychologically torment people the way they were tormented by their parents/bullies when they were kids, continuing "the cycle of abuse." In other words, they feel miserable and "misery loves company." So expect to encounter these fakes and just move on without giving them a second thought, because they're a "normal" part of the process when hooking up online.

 

[jdubbj]

Here's my advice: get up and move on. If a guy leads you on and then disappears just before anything happens, forget about him and move on to your next target. If they were that much of a douchebag to keep flaking on you, then why would you want to do anything more with them anyways? Set a limit for yourself - give like 5 pics and then tell them if they want to see more, then you'll have to meet in person. Otherwise, tell them to fuck off and just keep moving along

 

[rareboy]

At the risk of repeating myself, I sense a pattern.



Lex

You too?


Weird.

Isn't it?

My advice?

Try going out and actually meeting people face to face.

You can cull the flakes more easily.

 

[cgymike]

You too?


Weird.

Isn't it?

My advice?

Try going out and actually meeting people face to face.

You can cull the flakes more easily.

Bingo. And by doing that you sidestep all the screen bull shit and all the endless excuses NOT to actually meet. A LOT less work!

 

[G-Lexington]

You too?


Weird.

Isn't it?

I don't know if it is or isn't. Although my hunch is that it isn't.

Back when we were studying fractions, my fourth grade teacher used to say "find the common denominator". Still good advice.

Lex

 

[Telstra]

Lex

it is great that you are sensing a pattern.

However, I recall that your posts were usually more insightful before, say a few years ago. Today I am not taking a guess at what you might be alluding to, because I can be wrong.

Lex is ruder than before now ....

 

[Georgiadude]

I don't understand why you played his game a second time. The guy sounds like a pic collector or a psycho. When he contacted you again you should have told him to go pound sand. Instead you played along and now wonder why he did the same thing. How many times do you have to touch a hot stove before you learn it's going to burn your fingers?

There are many sketchy guys on hookup sites. pic collectors, game players, psychos, guys that pretend to be someone they aren't. I've been given fake addresses and had my share of no shows. If your going to go on these sites you going to run into these types. You need to learn how to deal with it and not react like you did.

Steven.

 

[yeahright1991]

No shade to the OP but is this not the third thread about hookup issues you have posted in the last week? Clearly they are not working for you and because they are not, we continuously have to hear about the topic of your (failed/issues with) hooking up.
Insanity is defined by doing the same thing consistently and expecting different results.

With that said either continue and deal with the fact that the people who are also looking for a quick hole to fill are beyond your control (and respectfully, stop whining) or try a new model of finding random sex (if you really cannot control your need for it) or just stop looking for random sex altogether.