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"There's no such thing as bi-sexuality..."

I know lots of guys who identify as gay now that went through a "bi phase" during their coming out / coming to terms. It's the "bargaining" part of the stages of grief that lots of guys go through while they are dealing with identifying and accepting their sexuality. People base their world views off of their own experience (so do you, I bet), so it's not surprising that some gay men will joke or poke fun telling you it is some sort of phase.

That said, I happen to place more stock in bisexuality than I do homo or heterosexuality. Sexuality is fluid, and I believe most people have just a little bit of that bisexuality in them.... even if it fails to show itself.
 
Just as Humans are born Omnivores, we are also Omnisexual. Heck! Most guys spend more time screwing their own hands than nearly anything/anyone else! *|*

Yes, there are cultural boundaries of who/what we are "supposed" to screw, but a huge majority of people cross those lines, to some extent, at some times during their lives. :badgrin:

The labels come from Expectations. The activities come from our own Nature. How far, or how much, we will "experiment" is up to our own individualities, and/or what we think we can get away with while not getting "caught"/labeled! (!w!)

Humans are also highly judgmental in trying to figure out where we/others "fit in" with the rest of Society. But it is also up to us as to just how much weight we grant those judgments. #-o

I say, "Screw the labels!", and just be YOU! If anyone has problems with that, it is just that ... Their Problem! :cool:

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Gee, I always thought about 80% of the population was to some degree bisexual. Most people just are predominately one or the other or choose to behave as one or the other.
 
No one can convince me that there is not a range in sexuality, just as there are ranges in mental personae (such as types of intelligence, interests, outlooks) and in body types. I don't see how it can make sense for there not to be a range... that just seems unnatural.
 
It isn't that most gay men deny that there are men like yourself who are genuinely bisexual.

It's that we've dealt with so many "bisexuals" who are really gay, but aren't ready or willing to admit that.

It certainly isn't fair of gay men to question your sexual identity, but, if you'd had our experiences with many men who have labeled themselves as "bi", maybe you'd at least understand where the suspicions come from.
 
labels are just fine with me, they're only adjectives.

I try not to judge people on labels attached to them, just their actions and the way they present themselves.
 
Now you know how Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy feel. ;)

But seriously, that's an asshole thing to say to someone: you don't exist. Just because a lot of people say they're bisexual when they're not, just because a lot of bisexuals fuck men on the sly and treat them as a dirty little secret, doesn't mean that bisexuality itself doesn't really exist.

But it's like good-hearted Christians... until you meet some, you think they're all assholes like the ones you see on TV.
 
Meh.

At least your little melt-down didn't include that "everyone is really bisexual and they're just too lame to admit it" or words to that effect.

That's the one that really grosses me out.
 
Soilwork said:
Meh.

At least your little melt-down didn't include that "everyone is really bisexual and they're just too lame to admit it" or words to that effect.

That's the one that really grosses me out.
Click to expand...

Awww, Jasun, I'm so proud of you.

That was quite succinct and, even more shockingly, tame...

:p

:kiss:
 
Absolut said:
Awww, Jasun, I'm so proud of you.

That was quite succinct and, even more shockingly, tame...

:p

:kiss:
Click to expand...

If anyone wants to know my position on the subject, they can use the search function.

The post-rehab Soilwork just doesn't have that confrontational spirit, I guess.
 
Our society loves to lable everything, and thats why people feel the need to lable sexuality too.
But as we all should know the fact is that sexuality is far to wide a spectrum to base it in the 3 main categories our society has created of being either straight, bi, or gay.
As we all know not everyone falls into these 3 categories actually the majority of people dont.

But I also think that bisexuality confuses and scares people who arent bi and thats why they feel the need to tell you its "only a phase", because they dont understand how someone can be both, they think its either one or the other because again thats what for the most part society has taught us, that we need to be labled.

The simple fact is sexuality is not black and white there is a huge huge grey area in between, and those who dont realize that are frankly just ignorant.
 
like there is 1 and 2 and then 1.5 thats bi tell them that next time i do the same
 
i know the feeling about that phrase. i am bi-sexual, but i do lean more towards men. my g/fs mom thinks that im just in a phase, but i dont think so. otherwise i still wouldnt be with her.

i also think that people in general are bi-curious. its human nature. some just act on it, others just leave it to a phase. and others only just fantasize about it.
 
Nacreous said:
But yes, I do take your essential point, which is (I think) that pre-judging someone on the basis of whatever label thay happen to adhere to (Christian, Atheist, HIndu, Liberal, Conservative, Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual, whatever) is fundamentally flawed.
Click to expand...
Well, yes, my essential point was based on how we judge groups rather than the intrinsic nature of those groups, however...

There is an element of choice involved when we take on our labels. I had a long (and ultimately fruitless) debate with someone on this board a year or two ago, in which I maintained that while our sexual orientations were hardwired and not subject to choice, the labels and lifestyles we subsequently adopt based on that sexual orientation are a matter of choice.

My correspondent did not agree, feeling that all of these things were completely well-defined and it was only human dishonesty that led to the perception of the gray area. He felt that I was dishonest in labelling myself as gay when I am sometimes attracted to women and am capable of performing sexually with a woman... though I never have had sex with a woman and don't particularly want to have sex with a woman, he felt that since I could have sex with a woman, I should call myself bisexual.

The thing is, the entire construct of straight/bi/gay is cultural and, in a way, artificial. I mean, why do we even say bisexual? Straight and gay are cultural terms rather than descriptive of a particular sexual act, so why do we persist in defining bisexuals purely by the sexual practices? Why aren't you called "orange" or "heffalump"?

I believe there are very few people who are completely homosexual or heterosexual; and I believe that very few people are precisely fifty-fifty bisexual... it's fluid, there are a million points in between each of these definitions. But in our cultural climate in which other people's sexual practices are the subject of so much prurient interest, labels become necessary as the banners under which we gather for support and strength. In today's world, you have to choose a team to be on.

However, we shouldn't throw away our choices when we choose our team; and sometimes we change teams midgame. But there is a tendency in the human mind, the same tendency that draws us into religions and nations and political factions, to pretend we never had a choice, that there is only one right way of doing things... and consequently to villify those who have made different choices. I mean, if I am capable of making a choice, you are capable of making a choice, and so your belief that you had no choice is obviously a lie. Nobody likes to be told that their beliefs are false, and so they fight tooth and nail with anyone who suggests so.

And that is what you are encountering when you hear these ignorant remarks about bisexuality being false. People don't want to believe that it exists because it muddies the waters of a nice tidy black-and-white mindset. Straight/gay is so much easier to encompass in your mind than all the dazzling complexity of human sexuality. People don't want to believe that fluidity exists because then they'd have to admit that they did, in fact, have a choice in their sexual identity and practices.

This is what I went around and around about with the gentleman last year... the belief that we don't have a choice in our sexual practices is false, and the need to believe that we don't have a choice is based on purely political principles: we say we didn't have a choice so that we have an excuse for being different from everyone else. But the truth is that we have just as much right to choose our sexual practices as we have the right to choose our religion or our political party.

Anyway, I've probably wandered rather far off the topic. My point is that we choose our labels the same as we choose our religions... not from the same nearly limitless number of choices, and certainly not for the same reasons, but we do choose what we call ourselves and I don't think anyone has the right to tell us we can't be whatever we wish.
 
Just means you get more choice of the crop. Huge knockered whores or horse-hung meat heads.
 
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