I used to be paralysed of HIV risks, but I have learned to put all that aside. I have determined for myself that there are far too many ways that the reaper can request an appointment that have a much more profound quantified risk than my dying of AIDS. I can count the number of times I have almost been in car wrecks, almost choked, almost had some sort of industrial accident... death can take you anywhere.
My personal rule is protected anal, unprotected oral. I can sleep at night with a one-in-ten-thousand risk factor, especially since I make every effort to keep my mouth in a state that would best deter infection. I do not go down if I have a sore of any magnitude, for example, and I do not let him cum. I also go so far as to wipe any precum that has built up demurely with my finger before I go to work, but when I do I have no worries at all. I have as much chance of being killed by lightning, or drowning, both of which I do not pay any mind to... so why should I worry about the remote possibility of catching a disease that, although horrible, is not even going to be the end of me for a decade or two?
About condoms ripping, I do not worry about that, either. You have to realise that, even if a condom does break, there is still only a small risk of infection (about 1 in 200) for that one instance. Of course you can be that one case that gets nailed on his first slip-up, but then again I could snag HIV by blowing someone, or a meteor could fall on your house, or you could die of an undiagnosed heart condition which, in the modern industrial world, happens to have odds of about 1 in 20. Infection usually occurs in the people who voluntarily choose to forego protection, and who regularly engage in unprotected sex, not the off-chance condom break.
Unless you are just snapping latex right and left, you should not even worry to a huge degree if one does go bad sometime in your career. Just use good, brand-name condoms that you know are not expired. (I like to supply people with my Trojans, just in case they are using some cheap crap, or whatever. I know mine are tough, not a bad precaution. I like to put it on anyway, so I can just demurely take initiative and make sure what is going in me is secure).
There is no super-safe no risk sex, but then again, there is no no-risk life. Even if you stayed home all day and slept, you still run the risk of falling out of bed and killing yourself. That gets about 600 Americans a year. For me, sex is too important to just cut out of my life, and I am going to get my licks in while I can. I do not want to be sixty and feel like my sexuality was completely unexplored.
I still worry about HIV, I worry a hell of a lot, I have an anxiety disorder, and I am obsessive-compulsive. If a condom broke in me I would piss a flood, but I would just get tested and move on. Once you take in consideration that whoever you are fucking probably does not have it (unless you are in some high risk area, I am in the middle of nowhere, so I am already running a sub-zero percentage of running into someone who is positive), and even if they are positive they might not have a viral load enough to pass it on, and the lessened risk by safe sex, and all that... the risk gets rather low. So be safe, and have fun... I am maybe delusional, but HIV seems like a disease you, in a relative sense, have to kind of try to get. The real risk of HIV is not being safe and leaving yourself regularly open to attack.
