they have to meet him

[Taralen]

I'm flying in to meet my folks for the thanksgiving bullshit.

I met this cute as hell guy at school. He looks just like joey off of friends.

anyways, i really want to introduce him to my folks but there's one problem.

My family knows I don't like women but they don't know I'm in a relationship with a guy. I want to bring him to dinner but I have a really bad feeling about this. There are some family members who do not know I'm gay and I have brothers and sisters who are still in junior high and I don't want them being confused.

What do you guys think? Should I just fly in by myself, or bring him with me?

 

[AstareGod]

How long ago did you meet this guy, and how long have you been together?

You are the one that knows your family most, and usually what's best for them.

I've been in your situation in the past where I've wanted to string a guy along. The latest was when I wanted to bring my most recent ex boyfriend to fly with me to see my sister and bro-in-law and their new baby. I had been with my bf for about 2 months, but knew him for 9. My family said that a family get-together like the one I was flying to, even if it was in mid-December, should really only be for family. My bf still got to meet everyone June of the next year.

I guess my criteria would have to be: do you regard this new guy as family? In my case, I am fortunate to have a very accepting immediate family, but even if I didn't, that criteria would still apply for me. If I'm engaged or married to the guy, obviously I would consider him family, and I would bring him along to any family function (just like my sister brings her husband along to family vacations and such). But if I don't consider him family, then it boils down to if the get-together is super family-oriented or just casual.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Taralen,

Any idea about his opinion? I mean, would he like to fly with you and meet the rest of your family? So is he comfortable about the idea that you want to introduce him to the rest of your family?

Both of you agree with each other that your relationship / friendship is stable enough to meet each other's family?

When both is the case, then I would like to advise you to take him with you. You are out to your family, so they might expect that, sooner or later, you will bring home a boyfriend.

Bringing home a boyfriend is also a very good way to let know all the other members of your family, including friends back home, that you are 'not into girls'.

I would not bother at all about your junior family members. Hey man, a gay guy is not some weirdo or so. What's the problem? You are gay, and having a boyfriend is an easy way for them to get used you are gay.

Besides that, you don't seem too happy to join thanksgiving together with your family? Taking him with you will provide you with a nice excuse to have some time together with him ('I want to show him the surroundings etc'). , or feel less bored or whatever.

Best wishes & feel free to ask addition questions.

 

[Seasoned]

Boy, you must have pushed some of my buttons because I feel strongly about what I have to say. First, no one needs a surprise house/dinner guest. Ask first. Second, if we homos treat being gay as an abnormality so will everyone else. You have nothing to hide from younger people. The earlier kids see loving gay relationships the better for them, us and society at large.

Don't act too cool for the Thanksgiving "bullshit." It sounds as if you have plenty to be thankful for.

I think it's time the parents know you have a boyfriend. All that being said, Happy Thanksgiving.

 

[nfgrls]

Second, if we homos treat being gay as an abnormality so will everyone else. You have nothing to hide from younger people. The earlier kids see loving gay relationships the better for them, us and society at large.

could not agree more with this!!!!!
As others have said Thanksgiving can be a stressful time I honestly wouldnt want to put him throught it unless they all knew already. Since it sounds like you might be ready to be out, take this time to maybe come out, and then if all goes well bring him along for Christmas. But make sure you ask first.

 

[KaraBulut]

It depends on your family.

If your family is the type who believes in extended family and friendships, then there shouldn't be a problem bringing a friend to Thanksgiving dinner- especially if your boyfriend doesn't have plans with his own family.

If your family is more insular and believes that holidays are for only family, then this is probably not the time nor place to introduce him to your family. And these situations also bring up complicated questions- like sleeping arrangements that can complicate holidays.

What you can do while you are home for Thanksgiving is tell your parents that you've met someone and you would like for them to meet him. You can talk with him about how to make that happen (maybe they can visit you one weekend?) and how best to handle your coming out with your younger siblings.

 

[TurdPuncher]

I'm flying in to meet my folks for the thanksgiving bullshit.

I met this cute as hell guy at school. He looks just like joey off of friends.

anyways, i really want to introduce him to my folks but there's one problem.

My family knows I don't like women but they don't know I'm in a relationship with a guy. I want to bring him to dinner but I have a really bad feeling about this. There are some family members who do not know I'm gay and I have brothers and sisters who are still in junior high and I don't want them being confused.

What do you guys think? Should I just fly in by myself, or bring him with me?

i'm going to go against the grain of advice so far. i say, bring him home with you! you love or like him enough to consider dating him, so they will have to get used to it at some point anyway. fuck 'em i say!

bring him home with you. that said, be honest with your new boy and make sure he realizes you've never liked someone so much as to introduce them to your family. that way he knows how special he is to you, and can be sympathetic to your plight.

good luck! let us know what you decided and how it went. besides, if you don't like stuffing for thanksgiving dinner, you and he can always stuff each other in your twin bed.