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Things in Movies That Don't Ring True

I was in the military and know what a weapon can do and what it can't. Cars exploding from a 9mm pistol? What? Hiding behind a car while being shot at? Bullets go right through cars. You hide behind the engine block!

And why is everyone a crack shot? Very few folks are marksman.
 
How EVERY vehicle that goes over a cliff explodes into spectacular flame.

If I rolled a car over the edge, it would most likely tumble gracefully and slowly to a dignified stop.
 
No one's mentioned this one yet:

I hate in movies when a couple wakes up in the morning and start kissing each other right there in bed. Ummm.......eww. Morning breath people! Brush your teeth before you start sticking your tongue down someone's dirty mouth LOL!
 
"My pet peeve in movies is: someone pulls up in a car at night-time, turns off the ignition - but not the headlights! - and gets out of the car to take a closer look/investigate/go for a wander."

That reminds me of one of my pet peeves: I hate it that people always turn the car off when they stop to let someone off--even if they aren't sitting there having a lengthy conversation. Then they have to restart and go. I assumed it was a movie convention due to the car noise being picked up on the soundtrack or something, but it still bugs me. Or is this what people do, and I'm the only person who leaves the car running when I'm sitting in it talking?

Another pet peeve I have is when a couple is fleeing from danger, they always hold hands. Who would run that way? It would slow you down. I first noticed this phenomena because Roger Ebert talked about it in one of his books. I hadn't been consciously aware of the hand-holding thing before that, but ever since I read about it, I've been aware of it, and now it drives me crazy.
 
When people visit a bar or eatery of some sort -- they get the check, pull out a wad of cash, toss down some bills, and then leave.

THEY NEVER GET CHANGE OR PAY BY CREDIT CARD!

Seriously! Who has that much cash on them that they can just toss down the full amount and then some, and not even need change back?


My second pet peeve is that blue lighting they use to pour threw the windows in "night" scenes. Why is nighttime always blue?!
 
I was in the military and know what a weapon can do and what it can't. Cars exploding from a 9mm pistol? What? Hiding behind a car while being shot at? Bullets go right through cars. You hide behind the engine block!

And why is everyone a crack shot? Very few folks are marksman.

Bad guys can shot billions of bullets without hurting the hero... the hero can destroy an army with only one shot....

You can read this, too :


WEAPONS
Major characters never run out of ammunition, nor do they ever have to reload. (If the movie _does_ make them reload, they never have to actually carry any spare ammo until that scene)

Guns never run out of ammunition unless escape would be otherwise impossible.

The first shot or burst of fire from a bad guy _always_ misses, and is there just to announce that a fight will be taking place.

Bad-guy hand grenades make noise and smoke, but no real damage; good-guy hand grenades are devastating but selective; they will destroy tanks, but won't hurt the thrower, even if he drops one on his toe. Bad-guy grenades used by good guys become good-guy grenades, and _vice versa_.

When the villain runs out of bullets, he'll throw away his gun. When the hero does so, he'll conveniently come across another.

Machine guns submerged underwater for a long time won't jam or misfire when the hero pops up to use them. (see any Rambo movie)

A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet.

When the hero faces a ridiculously large number of shooters with high powered weapons, they will all miss after several shots. Then, the hero will pulls out this gun that looks like a toy and start picking off the bad guys from half a mile away, usually hitting them in the forehead.

People always pump out a few (probably used) shotgun shells at each corner when chasing someone.

When people aim a rifle with binocular-sight at someone on a very long distance, they manage to keep them in the bull's-eye all the time even if they move around.

When faced with dozens of armed opponents, the good guy will show up and appear to be shot, perhaps dozens of times. He will fall down, and presumably be dead, but will later miraculously turn out to have had the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest, armor plating, or even a silver tray to protect his torso (Batman).

No one will ever shoot him in the head, where he is unprotected. Afterwards, instead of learning from his extremely good fortune, he throws his protection away, confident that the same situation cannot recur in his movie.

When superheroes like Batman or Robocop use high technology to protect themselves, the bad guys never take advantage of obvious weaknesses, such as no face protection.

Characters shot with guns will fly backward, or upward and backward, through the air - the laws of physics notwithstanding.

Characters use silencers on revolvers... and it works.

In 50% of action movies made after 1988, "Teflon Coated Cop Killer Bullets" will be referred to.

No movie character will ever use or refer to a safety on any firearm.

No movie character will ever use a .22-caliber weapon.

The cowboy who exchanges a dozen shots with the bad guys without hitting one will nevertheless be able to hit and detonate a stick of dynamite from 150 feet away with a revolver on the first try.

Once a character has flipped up the long range site on his rifle, he will always make his next shot.

Bullets removed from shooting victims and displayed to the camera will not be misshapen in any way from the impact - and will sometimes still have the casing attached.

Shots fired at the rear of a vehicle will cause the gas tank to explode.

Shots fired at windshields never deflect; they always penetrate and hit the bad guy in the forehead. If the good guy is driving, he'll simply have to duck a little to avoid them.

Shots fired at guys hiding around corners never whiz past; they always strike the edge of the building near the character's face.

Shots fired in Westerns that do not hit a character always ricochet loudly.
If there is a trough of water present in a Western gunfight scene, at least one shot will splash spectacularly in the water.

Western characters are never shot in the legs while hiding behind wagons.
No gun will ever jam or misfire after a quick-draw.

In a duel or in a gunfight between two characters standing in a street, at least one charcter is always hit on the first exchange of gunfire.

No debris will ever fall from a ceiling after a gun is fired upward into it.

Shurrikens and thrown knives never miss, unless they pin a character's clothing to a wall or tree.

Horses are never wounded in horseback gunfights.

Assassins will always wait 'till the very last moment to assemble their complex sniper weapon (often a pistol the size of a rifle).

Even weapons experts will freeze when confronted with a weapon which is not in firing condition-ie an un-cocked single action revolver or a submachine gun with its breech closed (also un-cocked). The person holding the gun must make several moves to fire the gun, and the adversary could just reach out and take the weapon, but the dropee just freezes even though often it is obvious that the cylinder is devoid of any ammo.

Movie gunmen never lock and load their weapons when anticipating a life-or-death confrontation. Oh they have their weapons drawn, but not charged with a round in the chamber. They usually (always when carrying a pump-action shotgun) wait until they confront their quarry to slam a round into the chamber with a dramatic ca-chunking noise.

Bullets, even though they are only pieces of lead-sometimes encased in copper, always make little explosions when they strike any kind of inanimate object.

Photos of loved ones, religous medals, and bibles can stop bullets better than a bullet proof vest.

All sub machine guns sound alike and have the same rate of fire

NEW requirement: all automatic pistols must be held sideways in order to be fired.
If you are a cowboy, aiming your rifle while using your horse as a support will always assure a first round hit.

All automatic weapons must be cocked in order to be fired, but bolt action weapons can fire two or three times without being cocked!

You can never un-jam a weapon by just pulling back the bolt and rechambering another round, 'though that will work 99 times out of 100 in real life.
 
Another thing I hate : in US movies, when a scene takes place in France, you always see old cars as Citroen 2CV or DS in the streets. I live in France. I (almost) never see those models in the streets. They are antiques. As if they still had Ford T everywhere in LA.... :rolleyes:
 
When people visit a bar or eatery of some sort -- they get the check, pull out a wad of cash, toss down some bills, and then leave.

THEY NEVER GET CHANGE OR PAY BY CREDIT CARD!

Seriously! Who has that much cash on them that they can just toss down the full amount and then some, and not even need change back?


So true.
They don't even count it or bother to check whether they've left too much or not enough!

As if!
 
My pet hates:

Idiot Jock/cheerleader/fresh meat is locked in house with serial killer. At no point do they decide to turn the bloody lights on.

The 'I hit him with a spatula, so he's out cold and we're safe' approach. Decapitate the fucker.

People only start listening to the guy saying 'lets get out of here' when the bodies are three feet high. For staying with them he's inevitably fucked.

Every Christmas film ending with a happy ending. I know they're 'feel good' but six year olds finding their recently widowed mum the man of her dreams in time for christmas eve is just lazy.

The jocks getting impaled while protecting the 'girlies'. If given a chance they'd probably beat the shit out of the killer.

'Oh, no...there are TWO killers'. Thus papering over any glaring time inconsitencies.

Millions die. The pet terrier survives.
 
How come they thought it would be easier to teach oil rig guys to be astronauts and not teach astronaughts to use a fucking drill?

I mean really...
 
That any wizard (or muggle) family would send their kids back to that death-trap called Hogwarts...
 
When people visit a bar or eatery of some sort -- they get the check, pull out a wad of cash, toss down some bills, and then leave.

THEY NEVER GET CHANGE OR PAY BY CREDIT CARD!

Seriously! Who has that much cash on them that they can just toss down the full amount and then some, and not even need change back?

Seriously, have you ever visited Italy ?... italian people were so sad when they got their money converted into euros : they used to have HUGE bundles in their pockets, to pay anything...

Talking about money :

MONEY
Gangster's Briefcases either contain weapons or banknotes. No one ever got coins at a robbery.

Briefcases are designed to hold exactly three rows of banknotes. As if it had power by itself money likes to be sorted in nice packs and rows, even if it had been thrown into the briefcase ba a terrified casher at a bank.

When you use a movie taxi don't ever give any change. Drivers won't know what to do with it. Just say "thank you" when you pay a bill, reach into your pocket without looking, take out whatever note is in it - it will just fit. (see also CABS)
Same is true in restaurants. Checks are always designed to be 15 percent under the sum the male customer has in his hands first.

... and about cabs :

"Movie people can get cabs instantly, unless they are in danger, whereupon no cab can be found "

...script writers really think we are all morons...
 
Millions die. The pet terrier survives.

Exactly !!!..... it works equally with a spaniel or a yorkshire... Die, dog, die !!!! :badgrin:

... and what about computers ?

-You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
-Movie character never make typing mistakes.
-People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
-No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

And have you tried to use a computer just after having pushed the "on" button ?... Does "Windows" allow to do that ? At home, I have to wait at least 2 minuts before I can open anything on the desk...
 
Another pet peeve are shootouts, when people are running in plain sight and manage to escape all 65 shots that are just thisclose to getting them in the back of the head. Especially in movies where the shooters are supposed to be expert hitmen, trained assassins or some type of law enforcement agency.

Yeah. Okay. Like a SWAT team will leave such a huge margin of error for you to escape.
 
Why is it that movie and tv lawyers never immediately ask the damning case destroying question when the viewer thinks of it?

Why don't people have call display? It's the 21st Century!

Why do all middle-American homes have windows without screens so the teenagers have easy access in and out of their bedrooms?

And why are there no normal/average looking people as main characters? They're either hot or fat/ugly/dumpy, and if it's the latter, it's a plot point.
 
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