Things in Movies That Don't Ring True

[Just_Believe18]

Every movie with guns:

The Villians have the WORST.SHOTS.EVER.

They always fire at the ground, they always fire too far ahead or too far behind. They shoot the walls and they can blow out a flower pot with amazing precision yet they can't even get a flesh wound off the good guy.

Oh and watch every Steven Siegal movie where he is the main star. He never gets hurt. He will hand-to-hand combat 50 men per movie but the most I've ever seen him hurt is a bloody nose (and that warranted an automatic horrific death to the bad guy).

 

[luminum]

That any wizard (or muggle) family would send their kids back to that death-trap called Hogwarts...

LMAO!

I'd add that no superhero (except for in X3, maybe) uses their superpowers with any form of logic or thinks about the technicality of their superpowers (usually only seen in the comics). Superman Returns actually addressed his invulnerability whent hey tried to put IVs in him. But has anyone considered the damage he's doing spraying people and buildings with X-Rays? You have to wear a lead apron for a reason, folks!

No one, not even superheroes, go for the sensitive parts, like the eyes, earholes, and the mouth. Yes, because when Leatherface is chasing you with a chainsaw, you should try to punch/stab/beat him in the chest isntead of possibly causing some good brain damage or blinding him.

I don't know how an average insane psycho killer above the weight of 180 pounds with no ninja training can move so stealthily in their loose jacket and jeans and humongous weapon without making a fucking sound as he walks up behind you in an old house made out of old wood or even as he opens the door or walks on your carpet when he's about to kill you. Do people not breathe anymore?

And sure,s ticking together in the location that you've sealed yourself in with the killer will save you. Running out the fucking door and driving into public wouldn't be half as safe.

 

[Aussieguy01]

what annoys me also is when the hero is captured and tied up , they only bind thier writs , this means that they can walk around and escape , why if you were a super genious villan would you not tie thier legs or ankles together?

And i cant stand the whole cop thing either where the two partners are the odd couple on the force , and also the son avenging his father ( who was also a cop)

 

[NedNickerson]

I've seen movies where there's a bomb with a timing device attached and the camera shows the clock ticking away the final minutes and seconds. Then the camera switches over to show the hero either trying to save someone from the bomb, or racing to stop the bomb, or trying to dispose of the bomb. The camera is switching back and forth from the bomb to the hero, while the seconds count down.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting there watching this, counting off the seconds in my head "10, 9, 8, etc...", and finally I realize that I've already passed ZERO 00:00 and the bomb hasn't gone off, and the camera's still switching back and forth from the action to the bomb, with the timer still counting down... That's when I feel like yelling at the screen, "Blow up, already!"

 

[NedNickerson]

I found this online and thought it would be appropriate to put here:

40 Things That Only Happen In Movies

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.

4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard.

15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

16. Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).

17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.

18. If a microphone is turned on, it will immediately feedback.

19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

20. All single women have a cat.

21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

28. It is not necessary to say "Hello," or "Goodbye" when beginning or ending a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.

29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone's Law).

30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.

33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).

 

[coco2006]

I've seen movies where there's a bomb with a timing device attached and the camera shows the clock ticking away the final minutes and seconds.

Why ?... I mean "Why ????"... who is supposed to be here to see that stuff when the bomb blows up ????

 

[HarryPotterHimself]

So when you're getting ready to kill someone, you dont have a bullet in the chamber until the gun's in the victim's face? Ri-ight. And when you need to put a new clip in the duel guns your carrying (if your guns aren't magic and don't need to be reloaded), then you put the new clips in by letting the empty ones fall out, slamming the guns onto your belt to get the clips halfway in, and then slamming the butts of the guns together. No, really, it actually works! Especially on fully-automatic handguns that only have 8 rounds but fire about 40.

 

[JesseNYC]

Mine is the most obvious one in all horror movie.

You hear a creepy noise or sound coming from the basement or dark room, I guess that means I must go check it out. NOOOOO Id bring running like hell!

Oh and another. When ever does the 250 pound beast who is walking catch up to the skinny young teen who is running? NEVER!

 

[NedNickerson]

After a savage death match fight with a villian who most certainly would kill the hero and his lady, the hero knocks out the villian and then runs to see if his lady is okay, without finishing off the attacker first.

When a woman or man takes off their hat or helmet, their hair always looks perfect.

In a chase scene, when a tire is shot out and the car flips over five times, the driver gets out, brushes himself off, and starts running without a limp.

 

[Paladin]

You make some good points Ned!

 

[dr_beat]

I found this online and thought it would be appropriate to put here:

40 Things That Only Happen In Movies

2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.


31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.

33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

The ones above are my favourites!!

#32 reminds me of this one: When the hero is captured, not only does the homicidal villain not kill the hero on the spot, he usually tells the hero his entire insane plot.

#33 reminds me of this one: Even if people are alone in their bedroom/bathroom, they always walk around with the naughty bits covered. Talk about shame issues!

 

[JSB_01]

People always investigate dark houses/dark hallways/dark alleys/dark abandoned decrepit buildings....

No matter how early it is, when the kids up for breakfast, it's daylight. And the entire family can sit together and talk and eat since school and work for everyone starts at exactly the same time.....

When the good guy(s) are attacking the killer/monster, they NEVER aim for the head, or any other areas that would kill the killer/monster immediately. Instead, they shoot/stab him in the shoulder or some other ridiculous spot, then continue to loiter around with their backs turned to the killer/monster.

People that fall apparently lose their ability to stand back up. Instead, they continue to crawl backwards (slowly) until they are killed or captured.

 

[luminum]

With the exception of Love and Basketball, spontaneous or planned sex never needs a condom and no girl ever got pregnant from spontaneous sex.

 

[coco2006]

No matter how early it is, when the kids up for breakfast, it's daylight. And the entire family can sit together and talk and eat since school and work for everyone starts at exactly the same time.....

Dont forget they NEVER finish their breakfast......

 

[coco2006]

The ones above are my favourites!!


#33 reminds me of this one: Even if people are alone in their bedroom/bathroom, they always walk around with the naughty bits covered. Talk about shame issues!

I heard it's not legal, in some States, to be naked in your own house... Maybe, when they make a movie in California, they think about export it to Texas ?

 

[roguehunter]

omg people chill out, they make movies for entertainment. you have things in real life already why do you want to sit and watch people in a 2 hour movie do every minor bit of detail. the movie owuld be boring and too slow. stop reading too much into movies. or instead go ahead and try to make a film yourself.

entertainment is just that, it entertains. movies dont show people taking dumps, or other random junk. people want to be entertained for the 2 hours its running.

saying that though, i hate it when music doesnt fit the scene thats playing. that pisses me off.

 

[coco2006]

omg people chill out, they make movies for entertainment. you have things in real life already why do you want to sit and watch people in a 2 hour movie do every minor bit of detail. the movie owuld be boring and too slow. stop reading too much into movies. or instead go ahead and try to make a film yourself.

Hahahahaha !!!... That kind of movies are so "french nouvelle vague"....

entertainment is just that, it entertains. movies dont show people taking dumps, or other random junk. people want to be entertained for the 2 hours its running.

saying that though, i hate it when music doesnt fit the scene thats playing. that pisses me off.

Samples of that ?... The worst I can think is "Sphere", an awful SF movie with Dustin H., Samuel L J., Sharon S., Peter C., Liev S. and Queen L. (I think they all want to forget that movie...) : the music was pure shit, and used to come in the movie always at the wrong time...

 

[JSB_01]

When characters use computers (especially government computers) they make the most ridiculous tones and beeps and show completely unrealistic graphics. Does any computer actually sound and look like that? How annoying would that be - with every stroke of the keyboard and click of the mouse, with every download and program opened, there's a sound.

 

[Paladin]

It also irks me when characters sit down in a restaurant or bar, and no sooner do they order their meals/drinks, when they have a fight and one of them walks out.

In real life you would wait for the dinner and continue the argument over food.

 

[dr_beat]

I heard it's not legal, in some States, to be naked in your own house... Maybe, when they make a movie in California, they think about export it to Texas ?