In Albuquerque, I was a program manager and my team was fairly progressive, although not all, and the homophobia was by no means limited to the least educated in the team.
One of my chief electrical engineers was a good guy, divorced, and fully accepting of gays, but was just so used to the normal homophobic humor of straight guys among themselves, that he forgot one day, and at work teased another guy in the cube farm something like "if you don't like this girl, "we're gonna start worrying about you".
I was two cubes down, and heard the remark and the giggling of those in earshot, so I stepped out into the aisle and in mock indignation, asked, "and exactly what would you be worried about?"
They all laughed and got the point. In Albuquerque, discussing orientation would not be unusual, although coarse conversation would never have occurred such as "top" or "bottom" any more than I would have asked a friend "do you enjoy eating pussy, or just have to do it?" Discussing sex with people I'm not having sex with is just not acceptable in the societies that I have been within, and I like that. However, coarse conversation was the norm when I was in some gay groups, which I found unseemly.
When I was a youth, and among rednecks most of the time, "cocksucker" was an epithet I heard often, both in white and black circles, and was a quick go-to insult, usually in reference to someone, not in confrontation with that man.
