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"Things You Have To Believe To Vote Republican Today..."

J-23

Want a slice? :)
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1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

2. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

3. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation, especially so if they are paying women less than men.

5. Jesus is GOD, and He created everything! He loves *you*...and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in flowery speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

11. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

12. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet (and listening in on your international calls without obtaining a warrant).

14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
 
So many threads in Hot Topics with a political bent have surfaced. Should they not be in Current Events??

I don't know; I think ALL politicians lack some chromosome that creates within them a conscience, and therefore, a commitment to the people whom they represent.

Just a thought.
 
I love this list.

Ironically it's the second thread I ever started. I wonder if I killed that one too...
You Know You Are Still a Republican If ...
You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib.

You can’t stand Hilary Clinton’s hair but you have no problem with Tom
DeLay’s.

You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a
major problem.

You support the "war on drugs" but think Rush Limbaugh is being
prosecuted unfairly.

You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton’s
kids deserve everything they have.

You like the way George Bush walks.

You think Al Gore is "wooden" and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma.

You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral.

You like the sound of Newt Gingrich’s voice.

You are sure the United States has the best education and health care
systems in the world.

You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter.

You think Michael Chertoff’s beard makes him look distinguished.

You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers.

You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress
than to locate weapons of mass destruction.

You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and
does, but burning a flag should be illegal.

You can be in the same room with Brit Hume.

You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off
now than [6] years ago.
 
Hillary Clinton is public spirited and capable.
Republican investment portfolios and massive church property investments demand that she be labeled a scheming witch.
 
To be Republican means to deny reality. It really is that simplistic.
 
Yeah, this should probably be in CE&P.

Yeah, it's hostile, simplistic, idiotic . . . AND pretty funny!

I think one of the major differences between Democrats and Republicans (or Liberals and Conservatives, if you prefer, although I see a difference between the terms) is that Republicans don't mind laughing at themselves.

A4A

(BTW: Dick Cheney IS a good shooter! How many of us would like to shoot a lawyer or two?)
 
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