I have been trying to figure out this situation for a really long time. So one of my close friends (let's call him Jon) has been steadily changing in his verbal and physical interactions with me over the past 1.5 years of our friendship. We are both college students. I am 21 and he is 20. Just to be clear, I am a gay man and he claims to be a straight one. However, things have happened that seem to throw his self-ascribed label into doubt. It began February 2012. We were leaving a movie and I commented on the impressive abs of one of the characters. He responded "His abs aren't that great. Mine are better. I've been working on my core a lot lately." I was confused, but shrugged it off as an awkward sentence. After that, things continued to move in an odd direction. When we would hang out in groups, he started attaching himself to me and would hang on to me, hug me, or touch me quite often. Again, I didn't think much of it. I figured it was just drunk hugginess or whatever. Anyway, things continued to escalate, especially last semester. He would be "too drunk" and pass out in my bed. He never tried anything, but this happened four times last semester alone. He would then lie about it to others, claiming I asked or invited him to sleep in there with me. He also regularly positioned himself next to me in group settings when we would watch movies or television and I began to notice him pressing his knee against mine or sidling up to me and placing his head on my shoulder.
I have been down the "reading signs that aren't there" road with straight guys before, so I tried not to take it to heart. Then, other, very trustworthy friends began to come to me and ask if something was going on between the two of us. I said no and they responded that they had noticed him attaching himself to me and being overly physical. I was glad to find that this was not just something I was imagining. Then things got weirder.
My 21st birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and I did not ask for any presents. Despite this, "Jon" got me a present. But it wasn't a card, or a bottle of vodka. It was a shirt. From J. Crew. Last time I checked, people our age did not give each other clothes. To me, a shirt that nice means "I think you would look really good wearing this." I was dumbfounded. I just couldn't understand why he gave me this. I thanked him for it but informed him that it was not really something I felt like I would wear, and asked if we could go back to J Crew and pick something out together. He was fine with that as he had already told me he saved the gift receipt. So we went last Saturday and it turns out the closest J crew was a womens only. The saleswoman gave us an iPad and told us to browse the catalog and that she would order anything we found. So we picked out a shirt, Well actually, he kept picking out shirts and occasionally asking what I thought. I finally settled on something he showed me without paying too much attention. I just wanted to be out of there. Anyway, the woman informed him he would receive a $10 refund because this shirt was less than the one we returned. I looked at the iPad to see how much the one we decided on was. It was $65. HE SPENT $75 ON A SHIRT FOR A PLATONIC MALE FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY. At this point, I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what to do. I eventually confronted him about spending so much and he lied about the cost and claimed he set aside a "gift budget" each year because he likes giving people things. Bullshit. Last Christmas, he got me one 6th of an expensive concert ticket with some other close friends. Then he got me an additional, separate gift that could not have been less than $30. It's not everyone. It's me.
I just can't do it anymore. Is he in love with me? If so, what do I do? I can't put up with the lies. What do you think, JUB?
I have been down the "reading signs that aren't there" road with straight guys before, so I tried not to take it to heart. Then, other, very trustworthy friends began to come to me and ask if something was going on between the two of us. I said no and they responded that they had noticed him attaching himself to me and being overly physical. I was glad to find that this was not just something I was imagining. Then things got weirder.
My 21st birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and I did not ask for any presents. Despite this, "Jon" got me a present. But it wasn't a card, or a bottle of vodka. It was a shirt. From J. Crew. Last time I checked, people our age did not give each other clothes. To me, a shirt that nice means "I think you would look really good wearing this." I was dumbfounded. I just couldn't understand why he gave me this. I thanked him for it but informed him that it was not really something I felt like I would wear, and asked if we could go back to J Crew and pick something out together. He was fine with that as he had already told me he saved the gift receipt. So we went last Saturday and it turns out the closest J crew was a womens only. The saleswoman gave us an iPad and told us to browse the catalog and that she would order anything we found. So we picked out a shirt, Well actually, he kept picking out shirts and occasionally asking what I thought. I finally settled on something he showed me without paying too much attention. I just wanted to be out of there. Anyway, the woman informed him he would receive a $10 refund because this shirt was less than the one we returned. I looked at the iPad to see how much the one we decided on was. It was $65. HE SPENT $75 ON A SHIRT FOR A PLATONIC MALE FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY. At this point, I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what to do. I eventually confronted him about spending so much and he lied about the cost and claimed he set aside a "gift budget" each year because he likes giving people things. Bullshit. Last Christmas, he got me one 6th of an expensive concert ticket with some other close friends. Then he got me an additional, separate gift that could not have been less than $30. It's not everyone. It's me.
I just can't do it anymore. Is he in love with me? If so, what do I do? I can't put up with the lies. What do you think, JUB?
