Thinking about asking my straight friend

[Rex]

One of my friends who's in the military with me is separating from the service in about a month and going back to upstate New York, where he's originally from. We get along really well and he's very cool and laid back.

Because he is separating and I will probably never see him again, I figure, fuck it... I think I may decide to ask him if he wants a BJ because I think it would be fun if I gave it to him. I haven't told him I'm bi yet, but I don't think he would really have much of a problem with it aside from a surprise or slightly confused, but I figure I should tell him that first.

Then one of of his last days after we have a few beers or something, I figure I will just bring up the subject of sex, the females at work, etc. and ask him straight up if he wants one, but say it in a way where it's not a big deal and not much is to be thought of it. I'm not sure what the most casual way of asking is.

I figure I should feel out his reaction from the bi thing first before I decide to ask him that. I know there is a possibility that he could get creeped out if I brought up the BJ thing and it would change his entire perception of what kind of person I am but I really can't say if that will be true. I suppose it could go either way, and to be honest I will never see him again after he separates so I don't really have much to lose.

What do you think?

 

[giorgiobaby]

good luck with that, you never know. Unless you ask

 

[Jerry]

I had a friend I wanted to blow when I was in the Army (well more than one, but that's not the point).
I actually posted about it here when it was happening

Anyway, I did end up sucking his dick twice, but we "all of a sudden" weren't friends anymore after that. Do I regret it? No. Haha he was fucking cute and I was happy to have gotten in his pants. Besides, we weren't all that good of friends anyway.

There was another friend who I was much closer with, and I wanted in his pants too. Well, more at first. I still find him very attractive, but I'm not interested in him sexually anymore because I know he wouldn't have it and I respect him. We're still friends and I'm really glad I never did anything to jeopardize that. Sure I never see him anymore, but we're still friends.

Lots of guys will come on here and tell you to just go for it (they did with me), but I think you should really think about it before you do. You know him, you know your relationship, and you know how you might feel if you lose him as a friend. I'm not saying don't do it, just think about it and make a decision you won't regret.

 

[Rex]

^^

Good post, and I do think he is a really cool guy and I'd probably become close friends with him if he was going to stay in the military, but I sort of figure that since he's moving away in about a month and I'm more than likely never going to see him again, there isn't much to lose. I'd probably feel a little bad if he suddenly never wanted to talk with me again but I'm not really going to be talking with him regardless, aside from maybe typical facebook small talk.

 

[bw92116]

Timing is everything. If you know him well, identify his horny mood, and wait for that mood, then ask. If necessary talk a little dirty about whatever turns him on, when you see that he is getting hard, smile and say, "Are you feeling good?" and he says, "Yeah..." say, "I'm feeling good too... and then "Oh man are you getting hard?" When he says softly, "yeah..." then "Well let me suck your dick... yeah, right now..." Don't phrase it as a question, phrase it as a suggestion. And if he hesitates, add, "You can come in my mouth...." which may push him over the top. Talk directly to the horny man in him. Get him "thinking with the wrong head," as someone else put it on this forum. A hard dick has no conscience.

 

[Rex]

Timing is everything. If you know him well, identify his horny mood, and wait for that mood, then ask. If necessary talk a little dirty about whatever turns him on, when you see that he is getting hard, smile and say, "Are you feeling good?" and he says, "Yeah..." say, "I'm feeling good too... and then "Oh man are you getting hard?" When he says softly, "yeah..." then "Well let me suck your dick... yeah, right now..." Don't phrase it as a question, phrase it as a suggestion. And if he hesitates, add, "You can come in my mouth...." which may push him over the top. Talk directly to the horny man in him. Get him "thinking with the wrong head," as someone else put it on this forum. A hard dick has no conscience.

Good post dude and I've always liked your posts lol. I actually wasn't going to pose it as a question and just suggest it as if was no big deal and very casual. The only problem is trying to get him or catch him in the horny mode, which may be tricky.

 

[TiGS84]

You mean guys in the military aren't horny 24/7? Don't spoil all our hopes and dreams!

 

[Telstra]

Timing is everything. If you know him well, identify his horny mood, and wait for that mood, then ask. If necessary talk a little dirty about whatever turns him on, when you see that he is getting hard, smile and say, "Are you feeling good?" and he says, "Yeah..." say, "I'm feeling good too... and then "Oh man are you getting hard?" When he says softly, "yeah..." then "Well let me suck your dick... yeah, right now..." Don't phrase it as a question, phrase it as a suggestion. And if he hesitates, add, "You can come in my mouth...." which may push him over the top. Talk directly to the horny man in him. Get him "thinking with the wrong head," as someone else put it on this forum. A hard dick has no conscience.

geee you make me horny LOL.

yeah maybe afew beers while watching porn together and wanking together.
If he is hard, maybe just grab his cock playfully. If he is ok with it, then suck it playfully

 

[Rex]

You mean guys in the military aren't horny 24/7? Don't spoil all our hopes and dreams!

For the most part, yeah.

geee you make me horny LOL.

yeah maybe afew beers while watching porn together and wanking together.
If he is hard, maybe just grab his cock playfully. If he is ok with it, then suck it playfully

Hmmm... straight guys don't typically jerk off together and I've never done that with any of my straight friends so I'll have to find a different route lol. Beer will definitely be involved though.

 

[FlaMan]

Sultan...Even though I dont post much on here I read your post and you seem to ne a rather intelligent man but somehow you seem to have gone off track on this one...I say dont go it..even though you may never see him again just enjoy the memories of a great friendship...Being ex-military myself I had plenty of opportunies to do a friend buy chose the "high road: and enjoy ttheiir friendship even though I knew we would never see each other again...I am sure at whatever base you are stationed at that there are plenty of guys who you could have..Dont ruin a good friendship with him over sex and let his memories of you be the fun you guys had together..very seldom does sex with a friend turn out to be a good thing..my opinion..feel free to disagree..

 

[palemale]

This must be item one on the homosexual agenda. Convincing straight men to let you give them a blow job. One of these days, we should publish the agenda on here and send a copy to Rick Santorum.

 

[Rex]

Sultan...Even though I dont post much on here I read your post and you seem to ne a rather intelligent man but somehow you seem to have gone off track on this one...I say dont go it..even though you may never see him again just enjoy the memories of a great friendship...Being ex-military myself I had plenty of opportunies to do a friend buy chose the "high road: and enjoy ttheiir friendship even though I knew we would never see each other again...I am sure at whatever base you are stationed at that there are plenty of guys who you could have..Dont ruin a good friendship with him over sex and let his memories of you be the fun you guys had together..very seldom does sex with a friend turn out to be a good thing..my opinion..feel free to disagree..

Yeah you know what... I think you may be right because he really is a cool guy and if I was ever back in New York I'd wanna hang out with him. He is also a really good person and has helped me out with stuff and you don't find that many genuinely kind people. I just don't want his last memories of knowing me to be a pervert.

I guess it's not worth it, but I'll probably still tell him I'm bisexual just to see what his reaction will be. lol

Maybe my whole mentality was a little immature, because it is a hot fantasy, but if he ever tries to initiate a curiosity after I tell him I'm bi... you better believe it's gonna go down. I kinda wanna show you guys a pic of him but obviously I can't here. If you PM me I can show you in private. lol I'm curious to see what other people's opinions on him are.

 

[FlaMan]

Glad you decided against it.But if he initiates it then go ahead..But if he says stop then by all means do do..

 

[Ninja108]

Unless they make the move or suggestion..no.
You never when you might see someone again..and more to the point,ruining a good friendship isn't worth it,which is what happens 99% of the time when people try something like this (at least in my experience anyway)

 

[bw92116]

Every man is different and a little mutual j/o or sex play does not necessarily "ruin a good friendship." It's possible, depending on the guy's attitude towards gay sex. But I think in general it's less likely to ruin a friendship than it would have been 30 years ago. In some cases, I think it can actually make a friendship deeper and more honest. Any act of intimacy, even just shared nudity, can be a bonding experience or at least make the 2 guys feel a little closer. It all depends on the guy's attitude towards these things. I just don't believe that sex automatically ruins a friendship. Lying, using, disrespecting, hurting, distrust - there are many ways to ruin a friendship, but having a little pleasure together is not necessarily going to ruin it.

If the guy is hung up about sex, or has homophobia, is deeply religious, or is deeply closeted, then yes, it could have the potential to ruin a friendship. But I think you'd be surprised at how casual and open-minded a lot of men are these days. The key factors for this to work, besides the guy's general attitude, are that he has to be in a horny mood, which you can tell if you know him, and he has to have no current woman available to him, and it has to be a totally secret situation, with him believing that nobody else will ever find out. I think all of these factors must be in place for it to be successful.

I don't think beer or other alcohol is even necessary. If you are in the custom of drinking beer together than maybe it's appropriate, but otherwise I wouldn't. You will have to observe and gauge his behavior carefully to determine his mood and decide if he is in a horny mood. If you think all of the factors are in place, especially the horny mood, I don't think it is too risky or harmful to just suggest it. If he says no, then of course you stop right there and change the subject. If he says no and you keep trying, then yes that would ruin the friendship because you didn't respect his decision. But just suggesting it isn't going to ruin a friendship. And if he says yes, then you can proceed without ruining the friendship.

 

[JNewYork]

Sounds like a fun situation to be in.

You already seem to know how to proceed. It's all in the feeling out the situation. Hang out with him, go out to grab pizza, have a few beers.

Maybe you can bring up the subject and of DADT. Say something like, "DADT situation never bothered me. I'm not offended by gay people."

Sample dialogue... "I love me my pussy, no doubt. But in all honesty, if there were not women around, I'd do it."

See where that goes. Then maybe the timing will be right to suggest blowing him.

I think it's all in the feeling out and seeing what signals you get back, what vibes you get.

I also know that when you think you've overstepped yourself and probably offended the dude and/or done irrevocable damage to the relationship, that dude eventually comes around later on and surprises you, as he thinks about what you suggested, etc.

Don't pin him to a corner and keep him feeling comfortable. If you see he's too uncomfortable, turn it around, say Chill dude, I'm just talkin shit.

You have nothing to lose. You're really into cock so that's the truth. If he's a great friend then a friendship that's ruined over your tendency for cock is not a true friendship that you ever had. Go for it.

SUCK HIS COCK!

 

[PKMO]

bw92116 is spot on here Sultan.

 

[Ganoderma]

Yeah you know what... I think you may be right because he really is a cool guy and if I was ever back in New York I'd wanna hang out with him. He is also a really good person and has helped me out with stuff and you don't find that many genuinely kind people.

hi Sultan,

I do have some doubts about your hot fantasy, although I can understand very well why you would like to do this.

I tend to think that you should better first tell him that you are bi, and see how he reacts on this. I have the idea that he is one of your good friends, so why not tell him you are bi. DADT is over, and you might even use the end of DADT to tell him abit more about your private life.

On top of that, you can also test the waters about possible future events with him (as described above). I mean, do you plan to hang out with him (although maybe in a far future) without letting him know that you are not only into girls?

Somehow, I have the idea that you might better tell him that you are bi. And who knows what happens. So I don't want to tell you that you should not try to have a blowjob with him (why not, and ofcourse only if he is totally comfortable about this), but I tend to think that you are more honest when first telling him that you are also into guys (do you also want to tell him that he is hot)?

Is he single?

Well, think about it, and do what you think is good and wise.

 

[Jerry]

Timing is everything. If you know him well, identify his horny mood, and wait for that mood, then ask. If necessary talk a little dirty about whatever turns him on, when you see that he is getting hard, smile and say, "Are you feeling good?" and he says, "Yeah..." say, "I'm feeling good too... and then "Oh man are you getting hard?" When he says softly, "yeah..." then "Well let me suck your dick... yeah, right now..." Don't phrase it as a question, phrase it as a suggestion. And if he hesitates, add, "You can come in my mouth...." which may push him over the top. Talk directly to the horny man in him. Get him "thinking with the wrong head," as someone else put it on this forum. A hard dick has no conscience.

That is a PERFECT way to lose a friend.

Sure you might be able to coerce him into "thinking with the wrong head", but what happens as soon as the deed is done? All that horny bullshit is gone and there's nothing left but the two of you. My bet is that he's going to want to immediately distance yourself from you and you're going to feel like shit. And your friendship, yeah that's gone.

But hey, what do I know? I mean it happened to me twice in the military, but I'm sure your experience will work out just like the fantasy portrayed by the horny gay guys on the internet.

Do whatever you want man, just know the outcome may not be what you're hoping for. At the very least, you'll be setting yourself up to be his cum dumpster. So congrats on that if that's always been an aspiration for you, but it didn't really make me feel very good.

I will agree that you should tell him you're bi though. I told all my Army buddies I was gay well before repeal of DADT and they were more pissed that I hadn't been honest with them than anything else. I think our friendships are stronger now. Again, that's just my experience

 

[perfectionist]

Let us know how it goes!