Thinking about coming out.

[Koolcali559]

Now, I'm bi-sexual which is what makes coming out a bit different. I'm not "full blown" gay. Yet, I do tend to lean more towards liking men. For the past year, I've been thinking about telling certain friends about my sexuality, but the friends I have are not the type to accept it. Yet, I could be very wrong. I believe one or two might accept it, but the other one won't. Not one of us care too much for him. The first person I thought I could tell is my co-worker. Now, I do have some speculation that is his gay. I have asked him many times, but he doesn't seem to answer the question at all. He won't say no or yes, but I feel that I can trust him. I just don't know how to even tell him or how to start off the conversation.

My family, there's a whole different story. They will never know. I'm outlined to be the person that stands out throughout my WHOLE entire family. My family is very religious and conservative. I may have a few supporters from my family, but a majority will just count me out of their life. I'm very close to all my family members. I know some will say, "you don't need them." That's easy for you to say. It's not that simple for others and I don't even want to hear that. If I were to come out as bi-sexual, to family, I might as well tell them I'm gay instead.

I have had my first and only run-in with a man once. Back seat of my vehicle and decided to blow him. It was something new, and I didn't like it. Yet, I still like girls too. Tough decisions. lol

 

[HunterM]

You have to realize that a coworker is not as close as a close friend or best friend, right? That means, once you told him, he might talk to somebody else at work. Just be prepared for that scenario.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Koolcali559,

I was wondering if you have experiences with girls and/or if you had a girlfriend before and/or if this co-worker is aware of your history with 'girls' (or aware that you don't have any history with girls). Apparently, he does not has a girlfriend / wife, and he also does not seem to have alot of interests in 'girls'? Am I right?

How old are you, and what's the age of your co-worker? Do you live by yourself, or still together with your family? Do you consider him as a -good- friend, and do you also meet each other outside work? In general, I tend to advise you that its good to discuss this topic with a co-worker. I tend to think its more easy to discuss this with your co-worker when you are not on duty.

I also think that its time that you should think about making friends who are no bigots / homophobes / narrow-minded, and -bit-by-bit stop with being friends with people who are bigots / homophobes / narrow-minded. I think you should also start to decrease the contact with your family, at least with the ones who are bigots / homophobes / narrow-minded.

I tend to think that people over here can give you a better advice when you tell abit more about yourself.

Thanks in advance for a reply.

Best wishes & take care.

 

[hotnerdsex]

I like that you say you are not "full blown" gay and yet you have blown guys.

You are right...there is not reason to come out as bi...you might as well just tell people you are confused. Why bother?

Just wait until you can face being gay and then do it.

 

[Koolcali559]

You have to realize that a coworker is not as close as a close friend or best friend, right? That means, once you told him, he might talk to somebody else at work. Just be prepared for that scenario.

hi Koolcali559,

I was wondering if you have experiences with girls and/or if you had a girlfriend before and/or if this co-worker is aware of your history with 'girls' (or aware that you don't have any history with girls). Apparently, he does not has a girlfriend / wife, and he also does not seem to have alot of interests in 'girls'? Am I right?

How old are you, and what's the age of your co-worker? Do you live by yourself, or still together with your family? Do you consider him as a -good- friend, and do you also meet each other outside work? In general, I tend to advise you that its good to discuss this topic with a co-worker. I tend to think its more easy to discuss this with your co-worker when you are not on duty.

I also think that its time that you should think about making friends who are no bigots / homophobes / narrow-minded, and -bit-by-bit stop with being friends with people who are bigots / homophobes / narrow-minded. I think you should also start to decrease the contact with your family, at least with the ones who are bigots / homophobes / narrow-minded.

I tend to think that people over here can give you a better advice when you tell abit more about yourself.

Thanks in advance for a reply.

Best wishes & take care.

My fault. I use "co-worker" to at least better explain the person that I'm associated with. I do hang out with him outside of work. So, he is a really good friend of mine. I met him when he started working there several years ago. In fact, I was his trainer. Now, to say if he did tell anyone at work, I don't think I'd really mind. As long at my parents don't find out. I already came to terms that I wouldn't tell them. The age of my friend is 21 years old. I'm 25.

I do live with my parents, am single. I'm currently going to school and just recently switched my major to registered nursing. So, I did waste my time going for political science major.

Now, I could find new friends, but I'd tell my current friends about what's going on and wait to see how they take the news. If they can't accept it, oh well. I don't have time with them. Making new friends would be hard to do, since, I do wake up EARLY in the morning for work which requires me to go to sleep earlier the night before. I rarely get days off. So, after work, I usually go straight back to bed. It doesn't really bother me to not have any friends since I rarely get to hang out with my old friends.


Lastly, I have blown ONE guy. Not guys. It was something that I wanted to try and when the opportunity came, I took advantage of it. It wasn't as bad as I thought.

 

[Rolyo85]

Haha, one guy, a thousand guys or NO guys at all - it doesn't make any difference for your orientation. I think you need to deal with your feelings regarding being gay/bi/whatever first, before coming out.

Most guys use the term "bi" not because they don't prefer other guys, but because they're afraid to not live a heteronormative life, and therefore, if they are "bi" the whole male on male thing could be "on the side".

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Koolcali559,

Thanks alot for your extensive answer. So he is a really good friend of you, and I think you are right to tell him something more about yourself. I.e. you -also- have feelings for guys, you think you are bi / gay (or whatever).

I tend to think that you have a quite clear picture of yourself, based on what you have told us. Good that you have already realized yourself that it has no sense to stay friends with people who are narrow-minded / bigots / homophobes etc.

Well, find a moment when you and your friend can talk about personal items without bothering other people and just announce him that you would like to tell him something about your private life (or something like that).

Good to hear that you don't bother -anymore- if other people at your work will find out that you are gay/bi. Any idea if there are other gay people working over there? Good luck with your school, and I hope soon you will get your degree.

Best wishes & feel free to ask any addition question.