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Thinking of cheating

WillMc88

WillMc88

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on my boyfriend. Long story short, we've been together for 2+ years, and we haven't had sex in 9 months at least. I've talked to him about it numerous times, and I don't think it's going to get any better. He has issues with being sexual in relationships.
 
Why not just tell him you're tired of your hand and you're going to look for guys to hook up with?
 
WillMc88 said:
on my boyfriend. Long story short, we've been together for 2+ years, and we haven't had sex in 9 months at least. I've talked to him about it numerous times, and I don't think it's going to get any better. He has issues with being sexual in relationships.
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I think cheaters are on the same page as felons but 9 months?


....You should win a prize.
 
I think you gotta do what you gotta do---maybe you should just have an open relationship...
 
Thing is I've never cheated before. He cheated on me three times during the first year.
 
We broke up for a year and got back together. He did a lot of growing up in that time, but now there's this problem.
 
"He cheated on me three times during the first year."


he would have been gone after the first time. And you should have move on to someone who respect you and what being in a relationship means.

life is to short to go through BS like this.. So just move on and be happy,
 
racer2438 said:
"He cheated on me three times during the first year."


he would have been gone after the first time. And you should have move on to someone who respect you and what being in a relationship means.

life is to short to go through BS like this.. So just move on and be happy,
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Well Said. :=D::=D:
 
Well I think the fact he's cheated on you three times and now hasn't had sex with you in 9 months is a strong mitigating factor in favour of cheating.

However why do it at all? I think you should just tell him - 'guys have needs, I like you very much as a person, I've always cared about you- but I can't live without sex, thinking it's come to the point where I'm going to have to start hooking up with other guys'.

Otherwise it sounds like cheating is really a revenge motivation and is that the really the right reason?
 
Simple solution:

Break up with him.

Why cheat on him? Why even bother stooping to the level he did three times ago? Just dump him and move on. You've already resolved the idea of sleeping with other people in your head. Just do it single instead of giving up your integrity by cheating on someone you no longer want to be in a relationship with.
 
WillMc88 said:
Thing is I've never cheated before. He cheated on me three times during the first year.
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See this makes me think this guy is controlling and/or emotionally manipulative. You say he has issue with being sexual in a relationship...I think he has issues relating period. I don't think you should be thinking of cheating, but instead thinking about finding another guy and hoping this one gets the help he needs.

Just my two cents....
 
I just have two questions.

What is keeping you in the relationship?

Do you really want to have to admit to cheating if asked if you've ever cheated by a future boyfriend?
 
I don't understand why you are with him if you haven't had any in 9 months. That seems really strange.
 
hotatlboi said:
I don't understand why you are with him if you haven't had any in 9 months. That seems really strange.
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Hey there.
I was asking myself that exact question,when i realised that you cant really help who you fall in love with. My thought,s are that the @op is still in love or the fear of the unknown may be holding him back.
I just wish him the best,and hopefully he works something out.:(
 
I dont see this is as a relationship! Are you just living together? Where is the joint interest! I would say best is to move on !
 
A lot of good posts, guys.

I'm still with him because I do love him, and pretty much every other part of the relationship is good. And I wouldn't really "cheat" on him. If anything, I would just tell him I plan to seek out sex elsewhere.

I don't necessarily want to break up with him now, and he doesn't either, but I have a strong feeling that he won't change and this will end up causing us to split.

I'm not sure exactly what his problem with sex is. He is okay having sex when he's not in a relationship, but then when he settles down with someone and the relationship gets really close, he loses all interest in sex period. He views sex as something dirty that you do with people you don't care about, and the concept of loving sex is foreign to him because he's never viewed it that way.
 
The first time he cheated on me was with our roommate, and all they did was makeout. His excuse was that I wasn't paying him any attention (which was true) and he came to me crying one day and told me everything.

The second time was an on-going thing with one of this friends. All they did was makeout as well, and I found out about that from his friend.

The third time was just before I broke up with him, and it was with this other guy. They had oral sex one night, and I found out about it from the guy also. My bf claims to not remember it at all because he blacks out when he drinks certain types of alcohol (which I do believe after many instances of him not remembering certain things).

I think he did those things because he was convinced I would cheat on him at some point (as he had been cheated on a lot in the past). That's what he used to say to me all the time. That's not a good reason to do what he did, but he really was damaged goods when I first met him.
 
WillMc88 said:
I'm not sure exactly what his problem with sex is. He is okay having sex when he's not in a relationship, but then when he settles down with someone and the relationship gets really close, he loses all interest in sex period. He views sex as something dirty that you do with people you don't care about, and the concept of loving sex is foreign to him because he's never viewed it that way.
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The above paragraph might be something for him to see a counselor about because I doubt most other guys would be as understanding as you have been.
 
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