This is getting a little ridiculous...

[martin6]

That 20 percent of you that has the glimmer of hope just proves that you're a loving, caring, and good guy. Don't get rid of it! The other 80 percent proves you're a confident and self-aware guy. Don't lose that either! Some guys in Miami would love to go out with you (I know one, personally)!

 

[rareboy]

Well, you seem to want to over-romanticize everything and find Mr. Perfect in order that everything is meaningful.

What's so great about meaningful?

I ended up with two of the great loves of my life because I wasn't afraid to take a chance and didn't have all these rules and expectations about what a perfect guy or perfect realtionship meant.

I enjoyed the moment and the people.

Everybody always is going on about meaningless sex. I had a lot. None of it was meaningless.

All the guys I know who are 'lonely' always seem to be the ones that are looking for the perfect guy.

 

[supergurl]

Yeah....what he said!

 

[StlKj]

I don't believe in "meant for."

People who are "meant for" each other are just people who have realized that they are willing to work to keep their relationship full of love, passion, and above all else, compromise.

Cold is just that...cold. It's not like you wake up one day and thank God for being cold. It's empty, it's lonely, and it's cold.

The 20% of you (and I believe it's far more than that) that is still romantic is the part of you that comes on here and cares enough to offer advice and understanding. It's the part of you that has friends. It's more than the romantic part of you--it's the part of you that enjoys life.

You make being alone sound like some kind of death sentence. It doesn't have to be, but many people will do anything to avoid being alone--to avoid having to face themselves.

What kind of men are you attracted to? What kind do you date? How does it progress? Who ends it? Why? Are there any patterns there at all that you can recognize? Anything that gives away why a relationship doesn't work?

Being alone and loving it is liberating--it's freedom. It's not a booby prize because you couldn't figure out why you can't have a relationship. If you're really going to go it alone, then embrace it, as opposed to being resigned to it.

 

[JackFTwist]

you are 23 -

male angst is a powerful thing, but it doesn't mean a damn thing that you are not in a relationship at 23

give yourself time - life is long - if you keep going down on yourself you won't be able to go down on another

 

[G-Lexington]

I finally got what one might term a "real" boyfriend at age 27.

My sister dated a bit, but got married last year...at age 29.

My brother had dated a couple women casually, but finally met the right one...at age 36.

And although we never sat down and talked about it, I think we all had the same thoughts. Yes, it'd be great to have that special someone by my side. But better to have nobody in that role than the wrong person.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't date. Do. Get to know guys, hang out, even have sex if you think you're able to without emotional complications. But don't panic because you don't have somebody special yet. Keep looking. He's out there.

Lex

 

[pocono]

This is not going to make you feel any better (especially on a cold Friday night), but give it some time. You are young, good looking and seem real nice. The right guy will come along--when you least expect it.

Take care!

 

[USEDCAR]

Maybe you should move to a gay friendly area?

instead of having the guy come to you, you go to the guy

 

[silentalk]

hey huntneo...

When I joined JUB, you were one of the very first who welcomed me... do you think I forgot???

I wrote something along the same lines you're saying right now, and it gave me hope to get your response.

You have to stick to the hope you have, otherwise... well, it'll be pretty bad. Just make yourself available, and no one can tell what would happen. Hang in there buddy and hope for the best.

 

[M4P]

Hey Buddy

Try to relax... you're still 23 which is younger than I was when I came out

All I can offer you is assurance that good things do come to those who wait

I came out when I was 25 and, like you, dated lots of guys but didn't meet my prince until I was almost 32. We celebrated 10 years of living together on Dec 18

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Make yourself available by being out and about but don't necessarily be looking. He'll come around when you least expect it

You have a lot to offer and so much love to give

Hang in there

 

[FunDude]

People are finding their one much later in life now.. So, don't be upset that you're 23 and still haven't found your rock yet.. I kinda figured I shouldn't get worried till my mid 30s..

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I strongly believe that relationships are not 'found' but built by the two guys, who are willing to work together towards growing together.

No doubt, relatively very few people fit together to start with, but even if they do, there is a long and bumpy road ahead of them. Nothing that is worth anything is usually easy.

I have learned to thank God for the fact that everything that happens in my life does NOT depend solely on me and on my actions. In other words, I can only do so much and trust me, I do whatever it takes, and the rest is up to the others.

I have learned that it is very important to try and bring the proverbial horse to the water, no matter how hard this may be. But you also ought to stop there and let it drink (or not).

You also want to creatively learn from your experience, making sure that you never enter the usual loop. (There is a theory that some people keep on repeating the very same error, hoping that the matter will somehow work out and prove them right. Do not go there.)

If the guys, you have met so far, did not work out for you, try a different approach. Change your social setting. Change the environment. Open up new possibilities.

When I met my present BF of 6 years now, there was a geography of 750 miles or so in-between, plus a number of serious obstacles and real problems. But we did somehow click together and we took it upon ourselves to work all the issues and problems out. It took us a year or so, and we did it.

If I had stayed within my original geography (a city with 1.8 Mio. and a reasonably decent gay life), the things might have been very different. So, yeah, broaden the scope and never ever consider that solitude is your final destiny, unless you choose to have it that way.

SC

 

[Huskerboy]

...better to have nobody in that role than the wrong person... don't panic because you don't have somebody special yet. Keep looking. He's out there.

I couldn't agree more... I was 30 before I found my better-half and we've been together ever since.

Give yourself time, and don't let things ruin who you really are...

 

[Lalada]

Wow, I'm 19 and I feel I'm in the exact same boat, so this thread touches me in a thoughtful way... er yeah.

I've realized though that this longing for some kind of meaningful relationship is going against this side of ourselves that want to be realistic, rather than idealistic. We're balancing the two in these regards, but at the end of the day, it's up to belief.

We can believe the right person will come someday, and always look up at the coffee shop door opening with pangs of excitement or disappointment, or we can... what? Stop looking alotgether, stop the little things in our brain that decide everything else in our lives are well-balanced and are going good, except for this one area?

We have to keep to our ideals, because otherwise we might end up with just meaningless sex.

 

[LateNite85]

I know just how you feel, Huntneo. It just gets so incredibly lonely sometimes. These days I haven't quite given up yet but I've stopped looking. It's just too stressful for me to think about finding a companion night and day...so I'm focusing ALL my efforts (and time) on school now. Gonna try to be the best student that I can...and I'm thinking about getting a dog. Pets are always there to love you unconditionally.

Look on the bright side, at least you've had a hookup here and there. I still haven't done anything with a guy. I'm a virgin in all senses of the word.

 

[Love_chair]

Hey huntneo.

I know how you feel am 20 and I feel so alone sometimes. Like all I long for is arms to hold me or someone to kiss me when I wake up in the morning and tell me everything will be ok and that I don't have to worry no more. But the sad part is that I been out of the closet since 17 and still have not found anyone. I have never even been on a date or kissed or had sex with anyone I guess it's my way of taking things slow. But sometimes I still feel so lonely like I don't have a care in the world.

But maybe I just need to go out and start meeting people because I have not meet alot of gay/bi people. But I just wanna say is that I still hold out hope that I will find someone SOMEDAY I still cling to that. and I know theres always a chance for you to find love just like theres a chance for me and everyone else. You have always been one of my favorites on JUB and I wish you all the best in this world.

 

[Xpione]

I think it's natural that humans seek companionship. It happens to everyone. Everyone want someone close. Either as straight male wanting friends(not just any friend, but someone you trust and all that). Also, I believe that you can change your situation. Be open, lenient, and search! You'll find someone

 

[screwnutty]

WOW

I get called out of town for a few weeks on business (ie. Cybermen, Daleks....this guy called the Master. oh yeah anyways)

Huntneo, Huntneo, Huntneo!

Your still a strapping young buck my dear boy. Your twenty three years old. Your still a young pup in this world called love!

Everybody has already offered so much great advice that I wish I could have been here on the 22nd of January. Man.
You should have PMed me! I would have gotten back to you ASAP if i new you were depressed and this down. Besides, I've told you this a thousand of times....so let's make it a thousand and one! If you lived where I lived. You gave me that great big smile and those puppy dog eyes...well you'd have a time lord on your hands to deal with!

So with that. I guess I should throw in my standard Doctor Who youtube clip!

Besides....I may not be able to kiss you in real life...but here's a kiss from a Time Lord!




So Huntneo...........kiss me?! PS: If you have MSN. You should add me. I have to warn you though...I'm not on very much these days but we will meet ever once in awhile. My info is in my profile.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Huntneo,

Mate I'm a little late to the thread but somehow I'm compelled to write something...

For sometime now theres been a guy who has grown in stature, confidence and depth on this board. A guy who cares, feels, shares and touches people with his advice and his support. A guy who has a huge heart and an outstretched hand, offering it anyone who might need it...

You mate are a pretty special guy. A guy that holds principles and hope at his core. A guy whose honest and yet humble, a sincere and yet realistic guy... a guy with a heart and soul who can give and take all at once.

There is no doubt... zero... none at all, that you will find love, happiness and companionship Huntneo. You are a romantic. You do see the good in people. You see hope and you see chance. You see light where others see dark...

Life doesnt throw people like you aside mate. You along with the countless of kind caring souls right here in this thread will find happiness. Theres simply no chance of a soul like yours going unnoticed.

Yes it might take time... yes it will come along when you least expect it. And thats the key to it... so many chances, so many possibilites are beyond our control. There are so many unopened doors, so many untravelled roads in your life that you cant possibly imagine the happiness that lies in front of you...

Hold onto that 20% mate. Thats your strength, your power, your courage. And ultimately it will be the 20% that proves your beliefs and your ideals right. As long as you hold true to who you are and what you beleive mate, as long as you remain strong and the same courageous guy you are here, then love has no choice but to cross your path.

 

[capper269]

People are finding their one much later in life now.. So, don't be upset that you're 23 and still haven't found your rock yet.. I kinda figured I shouldn't get worried till my mid 30s..

38 here and still waiting for "the one" ...