This "preferences" thing is ridiculous...

[BabiGayPimp]

I don't care if someone has preferences on who they date or hook up with. I won't hold it against them. I have my preferences too.

I think of it like how I prefer to drive an automatic over a manual tranmission for a car. Sure I may be able to drive a manual car, but an automatic works for me. And I don't want anyone judging me because of the preference.

How you treat cars is not quite the same thing as how you treat people. I could treat people like rocks or cans if I wanted to. And if I did, I might anticipate and deserve the value judgments of others.

 

[theFallenGod]

What I'm wondering is why are you hiding your race in the first place? I can tell you that when I was using those sites like A4A or manhunt or even gay.com If a person (whether black, white, asian, or martian) wasn't man enough to post a picture of themselves in the first place I ignored them. Places like those sites are essentially sites to sell yourself... and like most ads you want to see the product before you buy.

I saw it as a sign that they were hiding something. They may have had incredibly low self worth and didn't like how they looked, they may have been incredibly hideous, or they may be lying in their profile. Either way... no picture meant I wasn't going to chat with you at all... and that was not me being superficial... it was me looking out for my best interests.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Some people treat cars better than people.

My point was that people have preferences and shouldn't be criticised for it. If those preferences make them shallow, let them be shallow and move on. A lot of the time, they're just being human.

A lot of the time they're being assholes and deserve to be criticized, even as we move on. If I made a habit of acting like a jerk during random human interactions, I would expect that someone, somewhere might eventually call me on it. I held my tongue, once, during a racially-charged incident in a gay setting. I remained silent because I didn't want to prolong the agony. But by not speaking out then, I've prolonged the regret. I think that if I had said what I was thinking, at the moment, that would have been it. Every since then I've had a practice of calling a spade a spade. Then I can move on.

 

[tingaling]

Honestly, the way i see it is the same as a guy who can only be attracted to other guys. Or a girl attracted to girls. Or straight people being attracted ONLY to the opposite sex. Its just the hormones in our body that base our attractions. Society is also a heavy crash on attraction. Overall though, preference is preference. If you prefer men you could be seen as sexist, couldn't you?

No you would not be sexist if prefer women ove men...you would be gay !!

 

[BabiGayPimp]

In my callow youth, I had a friend who was Asian. Very casually, and without thinking, I once said to him that I wasn't attracted to Asian guys. I didn't think it was a big deal. The two of us were only friends anyway and I was just being honest. Hey, just a "preference"...I was perfectly willing to be friendly with someone who was Asian, so of course it wasn't RACIST or anything. Yeah, right. Well, he never spoke to me again after that. For a long time, I thought he took it too hard and overreacted. In retrospect, no. I was an asshole for saying TO an Asian that I didn't go for 'his kind.' It was callous and insulting. Thankfully, I've matured a great deal since then and no longer deem Asians as undesirable and "unworthy" of my affection.

I ended a couple of friendships over something like that. One friend was asian and the other black. They both expressed, in so many words, that they preferred to date white men exclusively due to the "high standards" they set for themselves in dating and in life. At that point, I was through with both of them, because we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. We no longer communicate.

 

[lurker]

You shouldn't be going on sites like adam4adam looking for friendship when the obvious aim of that website is for hookups. Unless that's what you want too. Which, according to your first post, isn't what you want. You just want friendships. But with gay men. In your area.

If that's the case, you just need a better approach. Don't be using hookup websites like adam4adam. I'm not exactly sure how you should go about doing it, but maybe find out if there's some GBLT organization on campus, and join them.

 

[asian87]

All I can say here is people should be more objective than subjective. You should know that other than colour, other physical features differ from race to race so think twice before drawing conclusions when guys say you are not their type.

 

[Josh9944]

Are you really shocked by the "racism"?

Typical homo behavior. I knew minorities who experienced the same thing. course I dont think I've experienced it, but gays are more judgemental than heterosexuals. I don't think I've ever seen an interracial gay couple.

And gays go crazy when heterosexuals don't want to accept them. LOL.

 

[jackoroe]

Are you really shocked by the "racism"?

Typical homo behavior. I knew minorities who experienced the same thing. course I dont think I've experienced it, but gays are more judgemental than heterosexuals. I don't think I've ever seen an interracial gay couple.

And gays go crazy when heterosexuals don't want to accept them. LOL.

First, let me welcome you to JUB, Josh. I think you painting with a rather broad brush. I'm not sure that there is such a thing as "typical homo" behavior. And I'm guessing your not really qualified to make judgments about gay vs.hetero behavior. Perhaps you've not been out much, but there are many interracial gay couples. I know several.

I know your new here. But please note that this is a no flame zone. That is to say, that discussions are polite and that we don't say things that might elicit emotional responses from others. I'm sure you were unaware of that.

I'm just giving you some helpful direction, so that your time spent here on JUB can be more enjoyable. Thanks, and once again, welcome!

 

[Red Storm]

To the OP
In order to avoid any further conversation with anyone, right form the start say " I am an african american etc tc" period. state it in your profile, there are plenty of guys that want to talk to blacks, asian, hispanic etc.

From your original post, I get it is not openly stated you are blac or there is a picture of you in your profile.

 

[Garawr]

I was raised to see people as people, regardless of what they look like. That said, I have no preference when it comes to people. I like people more for their personalities than anything else, and I've stuck to that. That said, if you have a shitty personality, you can back the fuck off.

I'm not going to say I haven't turned someone down because they're not my "type", but it hasn't been because of race. I have my preferences, like everyone else, but race is not a determining factor by any means.