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This problem at work

Lalada

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Alright, so this is kinda complicated, but I thought I might as well give it a shot.

I'm working in a restaurant right now for about the last year, and almost right up until not long ago it's been great for the most part. I can get however many hours I need, but the only drawback is that it was less than half pay of what I did make at my previous job. So that meant no cell phone, which I actually enjoy not having anymore, such a burden these little things of technology are on us, we feel hindered without them. So anyways, the problems really began with a new manager coming in, and she is one of those people who think that the world would be perfect if it were only up to me, and has a managerial job. She says everything in the place would run perfectly if they all listened to her. One of those really selfish, stubborn attitudes of how things run and should be run.

I have to question her "leadership" here, but haven't said anything of it. I thought leadership was about cooperation and compromise among the people, about finding ways for everyone to work together and get things done, but her attitude towards it only contradicts and she really takes it out on some people, including myself. I actually think she doesn't like guys. I can't talk to her about some tv shows because they remind her too much of her old boyfriends or something, and there's other oddities like that too. I should mention that I used to be her favorite employee when she first started, but now I'm probably the lowest on the list for the hell I give her.

First off, I did really enjoy talking to her as we worked together, but now I can't seem to carry a conversation very far, because, my opinion, I just so easily get on her nerves. The other people at work all have this despise for her, and I was the last one to come around to thinking like that, as I like to give people more chances to prove themselves. Now that she has her crosshairs on me however, I just can't overlook all these serious defects of character that interpret into her work habits anymore. Especially when they interfere with my own work habits. I'm the most senior employee there, I have a near spotless record, and now am wanting to quit so readily over this. I didn't get a raise that was promised to me, it was just circles and circles of talking, a good 6 hrs easily of just conversation that began with a pay raise that work into 2 hr classes on talking about propagating issues at work, and perpetuating these cycles that people can't seem to get out of, I dunno, some real philosophical crap for sure. So that went nowhere and I haven't heard it any about it yet. Anyways, the manager I think should be a little more consistent, berating me for not doing certain things properly and then "not noticing" when someone else does it. She certainly pays a lot of attention to all my mistakes, and has told me I thought she was out to get me. Which I laughed but didn't get the chance to tell her I actually thought she's just a shitty leader and manager, and that's why she can't get general manager position is because she doesn't know how to gain cooperation and have parties involved compromise all across the board and making concessions and basically just being a good leader. She is stuck in this mindset, I think. She also needs to play a little less favorites, favoring working with the young girls rather than any of the guys.

She has revoked "privileges" at my job, which is funny because I didn't know doing my job was a "privilege"? Answering phones. That's my privilege. I know customers and customers know me at this place, I have familiarity that just makes me wanna open up a diner in some small town. I have that. Was that my privilege being taken away? Like wtf?

My problem as of right now is that I'm so ready to walk out of this crap I don't need, yet still put up with despite protests from my parents and some friends.

That and the very frustrating jabs I get for being who I am. One of the employees there nows through a mutual "friend" and being the idiot he is, constantly has to make jibes about it, which for the most I don't really care as I make the same amount of jibes in return, pointing out some hypocrisies that I notice in his behavior at times. But the manager who we just don't agree with each other is easily within earshot of these remarks and doesn't do anything about it, either by asking about it or anything.

So I go to the manager after one shift and try to have a conversation, finally remarking at how well the night went between her and I, and I said something like "yeah, maybe the chewing gum works cuz I never by the crap." and she replies "oh, i guess you just need something in the mouth for you to keep quiet."

I just chuckled, said "ouch" and say my goodbyes and left, without a second thought. I got home and thought about it again however so, is this appropriate for a manager whom I have such a history with already, to be saying things like that?

Is that inappropriate or do I just have this social paux-pas thing, in other words, am I crazy?
 
NO THAT WAS VERY INAPPROPRIATE! ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT YOUR BETTER THAN ME BC I WOULD HAVE BITCHED HER OUT!!....YOUR NOT CRAZY AT ALL. I'VE BEEN THERE AND THE WHOLE DRAMA JUST GOT TO BE TOO MUCH! I GOT PASSED UP FOR A PROMOTION 3 TIMES...I WAS ALSO THERE LONGER THAN THE 3 PEOPLE SHE PROMOTED! WHILE I WAS STILL WORKING THERE I DECIDED TO JUST FIND ANOTHER JOB...A BETTER JOB AND THAT'S WHAT I DID! I NOW LOVE MY NEW JOB AND WOULDN'T GIVE IT UP FOR ANYTHING!.......I LOVE MY COWORKERS AND MY BOSS. I NOW GET MORE HOURS AND MORE MONEY!
 
If the environment is getting on your nerves, look for another job and declare independence (quit). That being said, depends on what the job market's like.
 
Being a good manager is not about compromising with employes---it's about consistency and respect---it's alot of hard work---if you are not happy and the history between the two of you is getting in the way--get another job.
 
I was there first...


But seriously, I'm aiming for something dramatic, something I've never done before.
 
Time for you to move on.

Before you go to your next job, though, give some thought to whether she has some legitimate beefs with you and/or your work.

It sounds like she thinks you always have more to say than is absolutely necessary to get your job done. Given the length of the post, I suspect that you may have a lot to say all the time.

It sounds like you both have some serious maturing to do.
 
Lalada:

Don't get into a pissing match with a boss. The boss always wins.

If you're not happy with your working situation, change jobs. It's that simple.

I have to agree with rareboy in his comment about maturity.

Part of being mature is being able to let go of things. That means you don't always need to "win" or get the last word in a fight. And it means being able to move on- physically and emotionally- when you need to. This applies to crappy jobs, sucky managers and bad relationships of all kinds.
 
Lol, I know I know, it's childish.

I just don't want her to have the last laugh because that would really hurt, it would be very stinging.

And as far as work habits go, I've talked it over with her and we both have set out goals to meet. It's the parting blows that are most annoying.
 
>>>I just don't want her to have the last laugh because that would really hurt, it would be very stinging.

She will have the last laugh. She's the boss. We often have fantasies where we say the coolest thing, leaving people slack-jawed as we walk away, and the scene fades to black. Life ain't a movie, though. Just work on moving on.

Lex
 
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