This question I know has been asked before

[biguy562]

Hey all! I have a question, this past week I have went out with 2 guys, one of them three separate times. Just about every time it has ended with messing around (kissing, oral, J/O, body contact). I REALLY enjoy that type stuff and I am attracted to them. My problem is I can't get hard when we do stuff. I do get somewhat hard but then it goes away. I can get hard and cum by myself just fine and I have tried not j/o for a week to see if that would help but so far it hasn't.

I am thinking it might be some kind of mental thing. I broke up with my first boyfriend in August and I am thinking that might have something to do with it. This is the first time I've went out on dates since we broke up. Any ideas on how I can get rid of this mind issue? Should I try to take natural supplements/vitamins to help me?

Any advice would be very helpful!!!

Thanks!!!

 

[altlover85]

I would try and relax and not think about it as much. Don't put pressure on yourself. I know that's easier said than done, but it's true.

Are you going on dates or hooking up?

 

[biguy562]

dates. I try to relax but a lot of thoughts go through my mind while it's happening...haha.

 

[altlover85]

dates. I try to relax but a lot of thoughts go through my mind while it's happening...haha.

I understand that. If you are ever feeling nervous, let the guy know. If he can't deal with that, you're better off without him.

 

[swerveNY]

dates. I try to relax but a lot of thoughts go through my mind while it's happening...haha.

I doubt any natural supplements/vitamins will work on a mind issue unless you are hoping for a placebo effect. The best solution is probably to talk with someone about what you're thinking about and work through it.

 

[anchihiro]

Were you the same in your previous relationship?

If not then yes its self inflicted nerves.

 

[bambam]

Basically you're experiencing performance anxiety. Any number of things may be the reason. For some it could result from body image issues (weight, penis size, etc.). For others it has to do with fears of exposure to hiv/std's. Or perhaps sex brings up other things that flood the mind and inhibit performance. More foreplay might clear your mind and let your hormones take control.

Also medications may inhibit libido or potency (ability to maintain an erection). Perhaps Viagra or Cialis may help in the short-term.

 

[conrad]

IMHO, guys, you are forgetting that we are all pointed in the direction of our first sexual experience from the very beginning of our lives.

Most of us were fortunate in having loving families. We learned that life is barren without others.

We made friends by being friendly. And, we found that friends often bond with each other and become more than just friends.

That is often the point where the big IT first happens. Bit by bit we were listening to our bodies. Masturbation allowed us to enjoy our emerging sexuality and set our minds to wondering how that sexuality might be enjoyed even more with another person. The friendship that was developing between the new guy in town and myself found us genuinely seeking to do for each other what our bodies were crying out for. And on that great day, Both I and my friend are so caught up in the joy of having each other that we are open to new ways of expressing our affection. And, it happens naturally and we find that we did alright in this activity called sex. It was alright because it confirmed the bond that already existed and strengthen that bond.

Friend, if you don't get a a heftier erection when it is about to happen, you should probably stop---you are not ready for sex. You need to go back to basics. Talk with those who have had happy journeys into the fullness of their sexual powers and they will tell you that a loving relationship makes it all come to pass naturally. You really don't need a teacher any more than your ancestors needed teachers to get them going as mature sexual persons.

The old ways are not always better, but one ought never to discard them before testing their usefulness. Millions of persons before us have had their lives enriched because they did catch sight of the beauty and mystery of human sexuality and gave themselves freely in pursuing it. Remember you do not need a coach; you will learn by doing--yes, "doing what comes naturally."